Apostasy
by MissJinny
Summary: Chapter 30 up. Eventual slash, RLSSSB. The dark disease that is half of Remus Lupin has flared up against him. With his inner wolf tearing him apart, quite literally, he needs the help of Sirius and Snape, to work together, and to work with him.
1. A Setting for Failure

a/n: Here's a teaser opener for the newest epic to crawl from my brain. This will eventually wind into a slash fiction of Sirius Black/Remus Lupin/Severus Snape. Oh yes, a trifecta from the depths of an undersexed over-thinking young woman. There is much done, but it is not near finished. I'll consider posting chapters soon, please read and let me know what you think. However there are some disclaimers…

Disclaimer: I do not own HP or any characters, quite obviously. I do write for my own enjoyment and the enjoyment of others should they feel the want to read it too.

2. There are M/M relations inside, plotted and developed. Therefore this is **NOT** PWP.

3. There is past crisis, rape, and abuse talked about.

4. There is rough language

5. It has Non-Canon story lines. Largest being the continued life of Sirius Black. No veil. Very little of the mainstay characters of the series are involved. That means there is very little of Harry Potter and his friends. There is more mention of the lesser characters. (i.e. Tonks, Molly & Arthur Weasley, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin & Severus Snape to name a few prominent herein.)

6. The story is based upon an entirely fictional condition of a lycanthrope condition. Lycanthrope, lycan and the term 'wolf' are used often to describe Remus Lupin because of the story line. (This disclaimer isn't just for you FallenMadness88, honest lol)

7. OOC, there are many instances of out-of-character moments. Most due to the sickness described.

::Whew!:: So, if any above or a combination of them are distasteful for you, take caution if you decide to read. Without further ado, to the teaser…

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Apostasy _(an abandonment of what one has believed in, as a faith or cause)_

----

It was the thick of night. The sky was clear and vibrant stars winked and swirled around the skyline. For young lovers and night owls alike it was a beautiful evening for frolicking around in wheat fields and dipping in cool waters. But at the opposite end of that spectrum were the creatures of the night that slunk through the shadows and watched innocence pass by them with mixed looks of longing and hatred.

In the hills of Scotland, along a barren strip of land far from any civilization, one of these night creatures was shivering in his hovel trying to ignore the lustful cravings that were creeping in his veins.

Remus Lupin was lying buried beneath his covers. Outside the rickety shack in the surrounding woods, every creature that scurried around the trees sounded ten times louder. His ears were twitching with each step of a fox and each beat of an owl wing. He whimpered, drawing the covers tighter over his head. _Please, go away!_ He balled up further, pulling his knees to his chin.

Far in the distance a lone wolf howled to the full moon. Beneath the blankets, Remus' eyes snapped open. His eyes dilated until only a fingernail sized ridge of amber could be seen around his pupils. A lonesome wail welled up in his throat to answer, but he turned viciously in his blankets and buried his face into the pillow.

Other voices songed with the first, worshipping the moon with their canine vocals. Lupin's heart beat hard in his chest. He could feel it pound against his ribcage like it was trying to break free--just as the wolf inside him was trying to break free.

He pressed his hands over his ears and began to unconsciously chew on his pillowcase. _Soon. They'd be there soon._ He didn't have long to wait.

There, a deep base that echoed with the wolves' song. A tone that was ethereal and yet eerie. A voice that was only made by the combination of man and beast, human souls trapped in animal bodies.

The werewolves were coming out to hunt.

Remus could feel the hair along his arms thickening. It always started with an itch. A dull throb beat at his left shoulder and he raised his trembling fingers and pressed them into a jagged crescent scar there. The pain spiked before fading away. Soon he knew, if Sirius didn't return quickly, he would be busting free from the plywood walls and barking aloud asking to join them.

He was losing grip on the battle. In his mind he could see the wolf's eyes glittering, almost smiling at him. _Hurry, Sirius! For the love of Merlin, hurry!_ Lupin groaned, ignoring the way it ended with a whine. His ribs were aching and he tried to fool himself into thinking it was because he was holding his breath. The panting blasts that warmed the air bubbled in the blankets told him differently. The pressure was building along his spine, the wolf was waiting to transform, and each moment that passed the bones in his body were on tight springs waiting to grow and realign.

Footsteps, fast and stumbling, were coming toward the cottage. A moment later, Sirius Black burst through the cracking door and stumbled toward the bed.

"Oh, God, Remy. I hurried as fast as I could." And Lupin believed him. The echo of hard gasping breaths, the bitter smell of sweat that coated the man's body and slight undertang of copper from the lashing branches only told him the truth.

He opened his mouth to tell him it was okay, that he was fine, but all that came forth was a shuddering gasp. The bed dipped beside him and Lupin felt a snarl curl his lips. He clenched his eyes shut, _it's only Sirius, only Siri..._

"Come on, Moony. We're almost too late." Sirius voice was breathless and the hand that clutched his shoulder was shaking from exertion.

Lupin threw the blankets back, ignoring the startled look that Sirius tried to mask. He could feel the thickening of the scruff on his face; knew that his eyes were glowing in the dark. Sirius was right, they were very nearly out of time.

Remus reached for the vial that Sirius held, but his hands clenched in pain as the bones tried to shrink. Sirius understood without words and held the bottle to Remus' lips. The bitter taste and reek of the potions nearly made Remus gag. He had only ever taken the potion once before so close to transformation, it never smelled or tasted as strong when he took it before the change was gripping him.

The potion was gone and Sirius had dropped the empty bottle to the floor, forgotten. His large hands were gripping Remus' face, forcing him to look up. He smiled shakily, "All right there, Remus?"

Remus shook his head viciously, feeling the Wolfsbane curdling in his stomach. It was almost too late, but they made it...barely. He clutched at Sirius' forearms and bared his teeth in a grimace. His friend was already curling around him, holding him tightly with his back pressed to Sirius' chest.

"You are not the beast, Remus. You can beat it." Sirius was speaking in a strong, comforting voice. Remus would have laughed if the man had used that tone at any other time, but right now it was as soothing as Sirius had meant it to be.

With a hissing sigh, Remus could feel the wolf inside lunge forward and before long his spine began to bend him hard into Sirius. He knew he was crushing his friend, pressing him back into the wall, but Sirius' hold didn't loosen and Remus concentrated on the warm breath across his ear instead of the pain that gripped his body.

His ribs cracked and slid around in his skin, bending forward and snapping into place. He breathed hard and ragged, his lungs ached as they were pushed and pulled while he tried to breathe. He held his hand in front of his face, eyes tearing and spilling down his cheeks. No matter how many times he saw it, it still amazed and terrified him. _Poor, Severus._

Remus shifted on the bed, pushing the thought of the potions master from his mind. Now was not the time to feel remorse for sins long since passed. So he focused on his hands and put the pulses of pain together with his transformation. His fingers shrunk, tendons tightening, as his palms thickened into pads and his nails hardened into claws.

All over his body, muscles twanged as they were pulled free of bone in ripping heat before they reformed and reattached. It felt like an eternity before it was finished, but in sick reality took all of a minute.

Remus tasted blood on his tongue where his teeth had pushed and shifted into his muzzle. With a whine he tried to burrow into the arms that barely reached around his ribcage, much less held him tight and secure. Behind him, Sirius released him and sat up around his large bulk. Anxious blue eyes--darkened from the excitement into shades of violet--bore into his amber eyes. Carefully, Sirius reached forward a hand and ran it down Remus' jaw.

Lupin opened his mouth and licked at the man's hand, a sorrowful sound rolling from his throat. Sirius seemed to relax at the gesture, placated that they had gotten him the potion in time and that it was Remus in control of the monster's body.

He scratched lightly behind one of Lupin's ears and rested his head on his friend's large skull. "Aww, Remy, it never gets easier does it?" Remus nudged Sirius' arm and chuffed when the animagus hugged his head.

Outside the window the pack howled, sounding a little closer than they had been minutes ago. Remus lifted his head, amber eyes staring out into the night. Sirius tugged on his ear until he turned back. A serious look was on his face, one that Remus rarely saw when they were carefree Gryffindors, and was all too prevalent nowadays. "You don't need the pack, Remy."

_I'm your pack._

Lupin lay his head back down on the pillow and closed his eyes. Sirius didn't need to finish the thought, Remus already knew. He wasn't surprised a moment later when he smelled the musk of a dog and opened his eyes to see Padfoot curling up at the foot of the bed.

Sirius fell asleep before Remus did, the werewolf watched the large black dog kick in his sleep and smiled the best a wolf could smile. Outside, the hunting pack howled and chorused in triumph. They had been victorious in their hunt. Lupin held back a strangled whine and curled tighter in on himself before he fell asleep.


	2. In the Beginning There was Pain

a/n: Since I refuse to post any interruption to the story after this final posting, feel free to check on my profile for any points I may explain. I often leave side notes or helpful bits about current or upcoming chapters. So if anyone has questions (and I will deem to answer them depending on if I believe they will be answered in an upcoming chapter. Don't want to ruin the surprise you know…) leave them in a review and I'll try to answer them to the best of my ability.

---

He was eight years old, sitting on a park bench flicking peanut shells into the grass. Remus smiled widely as his parents sat down beside him, each robbing him of a peanut and pointing to the birds and squirrels that were watching him in interest.

Remus jumped up from his seat and ran through a group of birds, laughing as they scattered to the winds. He turned back to his parents but he was no longer in the park. He was in an alley and it was night, he was alone.

Irrational fear ran down his spine like ice-water. Lupin felt himself falling to his knees in fear when in his mind he was screaming to run. He heard it again, a deep growl that pulsed and for the strangest reason to his childlike ears he could swear it was laughter. Remus turned his head to the sound and only saw deep shadows.

He whirled around as something brushed his back and cried out in panic as large yellow eyes glittered at him from the darkness. Lupin backed himself into a corner, crying now as the creature those eyes belonged to stepped forward into the light.

A large grey wolf stepped cautiously forward, eyes never leaving Remus' face. Remus could smell it, even as it was twenty feet away. His nose burnt from the reek of musk and copper that wafted from the wolf's thick pelt. It was getting closer, leaving dark spots in its wake. Remus realized with sickening horror that it was leaving bloody footprints.

He shivered, tears running hard down his face and nose stuffed from his tears. The creature leaned forward, nose brushing Remus' cheek. He squeaked, his bladder letting go from the fear. He was too afraid to be mortified that he had wet himself.

Then, it snapped forward, large jaws clacking before it bit into his shoulder. Remus screamed as fiery pain raced down his arm. He beat at the beast with his small fists but the creature just shook him, picking him from the ground and slamming his small body into the brick wall.

And just as quickly as it attacked him, it backed away, head swinging up and forward toward the alley entrance. As Lupin got his breath back he could hear them, howling and barking into the night. He watched, transfixed, as the wolf shrank back in fear, crouching into the earth with its ears back and eyes narrowed. It growled low, then in a flash of grey, it had turned and fled the alley.

Lupin gaped after it, eyes fading into black as he began to pass out. Before unconsciousness could take him, he saw the blurred figure of three other large wolves leap past the alley entrance. He could have sworn one of them, a sleek silver male, looked in on him with pity before it moved on.

...oOo...

Remus woke to the trilling of a bird outside the shack window. His whole body was trembling and when he opened his sticky eyes, Sirius was sitting beside him on the bed looking at him with worried eyes.

Sirius held out a chipped mug to him, and Lupin took it carefully. His hands shook so badly he slopped the coffee inside down his chest and across the bed.

"Are you alright, Remus?" Sirius asked softly.

Lupin nodded, then shook his head. "I don't know," he admitted.

Sirius frowned and brought him a worn towel and a clean shirt. "Here." Remus took them and began to change, furious that his fingers were too numb to work at the buttons. In a fit of rage that took both he and Sirius by surprise, he ripped the soiled shirt off of his back and stared at the fragments that remained in his hands even as the buttons bounced across the floor.

"I'm sorry, Sirius." He whispered, dropping the clothes fragments like they had burnt his hands.

Sirius shook himself from his surprise and knelt beside his friend. "There's nothing to be sorry about, Remus." He helped Remus on with his shirt, giving his friend a worried look when he knew Remus would not see. "I never liked that shirt anyway." Sirius grinned, pleased when Remus sighed and allowed himself a small smile.

They sat in silence for several minutes, Remus carefully sipping at what remained of his coffee while Sirius stripped the blankets off of the bed. Sirius wadded the blankets together and threw them into the corner before slowly sitting beside Remus at a rickety card table.

"You were dreaming, again." Sirius watched his friend's face. A cloud passed over Remus' eyes before they cleared again.

"I don't know. I don't remember." Remus blurted before taking a large drink of his coffee. Sirius nodded, knowing that Remus was lying to him. The nightmares had been plaguing Remus since they had both disappeared from Hogwart's several months ago. Hell, they could have been bothering him long before then. Sirius wasn't around to watch his friend cry out in his sleep for the past twelve years.

"What shall we do today, Moony?" Sirius asked, forcing his voice to sound chipper just bordering on mischievous. It worked well. Remus was drawn from his funk and grinned around his coffee mug.

"We need supplies."

Sirius stuck out his tongue. "Shopping then? Terrific."

Remus let out a short laugh at Sirius' lack of enthusiasm and set his mug down. "Well, if we get everything we need quickly. We could pop in to see Harry." Remus raised an eyebrow, knowing full well that he had pushed the right buttons when a wide grin spread across Sirius' face.

Sirius leapt to his feet, grinning widely and let out a long 'whoop!' as he jumped around the small shack, making the whole building groan.

"What are we waiting for, Moony! Let's go!"

Remus shook his head and he stood slowly from his chair. Sirius had already run outside and into the trees. With a soft smile at his friend's antics, Remus took up his worn robe and wrapped it around his shoulders. After carefully counting out their money and taking a small portion for his pocket, Lupin left the shack.

"Come on, Padfoot. Can't keep Harry waiting!"

A second later an overly excited black dog came barreling through the trees and yipped happily at Remus feet.

They walked carefully through the trees, trying not to leave a straight trail that would lead people to their residence--shabby as it may be. Sirius was excited to get moving faster, to finish their shopping and return to Hogwart's for an all too brief visit with his godson. He was still aware of how slow and achy Remus was after the full moon, so he reigned in his excitement to keep along with his friend.

He ran ahead and paused on the next hilltop, looking down at Remus as he picked his way through the forest. The lycanthrope was thinking hard over something. Sirius whined as he saw the pained expression on Remus' face as the wolf crested the hill and made it beside him.

Remus absently pat Sirius on the head as he went past and Sirius felt foreboding build in his stomach. There was something bothering Remus that only seemed to get worse as the days passed. With a resounding yip, Sirius bolted off after a rabbit, knowing that as soon as they made it to Hogwart's he was going to speak to the headmaster about his ailing friend.

...oOo...

Remus frowned lightly as he pocketed the shrunken bag of their purchases. They hadn't been able to get everything they needed. Not even close to everything. There were only a couple odd knuts left in his pocket and at least six things left on the list. Padfoot yipped at him from the sidewalk, running towards him as he exited the shop.

He absently rubbed the dog behind the ears and fingered the small bag in his pocket. They would have to do a lot more living off of the land if they couldn't find a way to make some money. At his feet, Padfoot whined up at him. Remus forced a smile at his friend. "Alright then. Let's go see Harry."

The dog stared at him a moment longer, it's large eyes searching before it spun once and yipped in agreement. Remus began his slow walk, unconsciously rubbing at his right hip now and then as he went. They were at the Leaky Cauldron a moment later. The sharp smell of alcohol made Remus' nose twitch. He passed through, nodding to Rosemaretta and back into the open air with a content sigh.

He didn't mind alcohol, in fact could use a strong drink right about now, but the stuffy atmosphere and boisterous patrons were too much for his senses after a full moon. As it was he felt as though he could lay down in the busy street and sleep like the dead for the next twelve hours.

Padfoot kept him moving. The hyper dog kept running ahead, then bounding back to his side before circling him half a dozen times only to run ahead again. It kept Remus relatively preoccupied, keeping his eyes from staring at the large form of Hogwarts where it had started as a dark silhouette.

The lush grounds smelled crisp and fresh, a welcome reprieve to the masses of oily bodies that roamed around Diagon Alley. His senses had heightened after being turned, but they always seemed more acute the first few days after the full moon.

Remus smiled, bemused, as Snuffles rolled over and over in the grass with his tongue lolling out. The crick in his hip stabbed him out of his amusement and he grimaced lightly as he rubbed at it. He missed the worried look in Padfoot's eyes.

Students were milling about the hallways, between classes, as they made their way carefully to Headmaster Dumbledore's office. Snuffles ran through groups of students, yipping happily as the children clung to his neck and pet his thick fur. Some of the older students nodded to the ex-professor or smiled shyly in greeting. Remus would smile softly and make his pleasantries as he passed them, feeling unbelievably claustrophobic.

"Come on, Snuffles." Remus called softly as he reached the corridor end. The dog was still at the far end being smothered by a group of Hufflepuff girls. Padfoot barked happily and dove between the girls' legs and circled them, making them laugh and reach out for him again. Remus waited, but Padfoot was too enthralled with the attention to follow the werewolf. A bubble of annoyance welled in Remus, and as the dog still refused to come he drew in a sharp breath.

"Snuffles! Come!" He spat.

The corridor quieted immediately, the girls shying away and apologizing meekly as they fled the hall. Padfoot laid his ears to his head and tucked his tail between his legs before stepping forward slowly. He could smell the anger that rolled off of the lycanthrope and wasn't sure what he should do, or what it was that he had done.

As the black dog nearly crawled forward on his belly, Remus felt extreme guilt flood through his system. His face fell and he dropped unsteadily to one knee, feeling his right hip groan in complaint. "Come here, Padfoot," he whispered.

Now, more worried than confused, Padfoot trotted quickly forward and leaned heavily into Remus as the man hugged him. "I'm sorry," he told the dog as he stood slowly, using the wall for support. "I guess I'm a bit more tired than I thought."

Remus turned in the corridor and headed slowly for the Headmaster's office again. Padfoot tamped down a whine of concern and nuzzled his friend's hand, mollified for the moment when the wizard rubbed at his ears as they went.

The stone gargoyle soon stood before them. Remus paused, feeling slightly foolish. "You wouldn't happen to know the password?" The dog leg out a groan and sat heavily on the stone. Remus laughed lightly. "Me either."

As they both contemplated what would be a suitable choice for a password, the gargoyle leapt out of the way and Albus Dumbledore looked slightly surprised as he stepped from the staircase.

"Remus!" He exclaimed, blue eyes twinkling merrily as he patted the wizard's shoulder. Remus grimaced lightly and touched his shoulder briefly, feeling the bump of a jagged crescent under his fingers before dropping his hand quickly and smiling at the Headmaster. Albus and Padfoot had noticed but neither made a motion to show they had seen.

"Hello, Headmaster." Remus patted Padfoot's head. "We were hoping we might get to see Harry."

Albus looked down at the shaggy dog and the twinkle in his eye grew a moment. "Ah, yes, how are you today, Snuffles?" The black dog stood, tail wagging furiously and yipped. "Good to hear." Dumbledore smiled, scratching Padfoot's right ear.

"If I remember correctly, Harry is currently in potions," Albus mused. "But, he does have a free period directly after. Perhaps you could surprise him in the tower?"

Padfoot chased his own tail a moment and barked. Remus and Albus laughed. "That sounds like a fine idea. I think that is what we'll do." Remus nodded gratefully to the Headmaster and motioned for Padfoot to follow before he started his slow way toward Gryffindor tower.

Albus watched the werewolf move with an age that was far beyond his actual years, the twinkle in his eyes had faded. He looked down in slight surprise at the feel of a tug on his robes. Padfoot released the Headmaster's hem and whined softly. Dumbledore absently stroked the dog's head and watched Remus. The wolf had touched his shoulder again and shivered bodily before dropping his hand away.

"Perhaps I might take you for a walk later this afternoon, eh, Snuffles?" The dog looked up at him with appreciation and nuzzled the aged wizard's hand. Dumbledore tapped his nose lightly and smiled when Padfoot sneezed. "Then I will see you later."

Remus had reached the end of the corridor before he realized that there were no clicking toenails on the stones beside him. He looked over his shoulder and smiled as Padfoot sneezed where he stood beside the Headmaster. Albus spoke quietly to him, low enough that Remus did not hear, before the dog circled once and ran to catch up.

"And what are you scheming, Snuffles?" Remus joked. When he looked down at the dog, it would not look up at him and only lowered its head. Remus frowned, wondering what was the matter with Padfoot but forgot his trouble when dull pain throbbed again in his shoulder.

...oOo...

Remus had fallen to sleep on the Gryffindor couch that sat before the fireplace. Padfoot was watching him from his perch where he lay on a nearby chair. Remus looked far older than Sirius had remembered. Even in his sleep Remus was grimacing, eyebrows twitching and fingers clenching slightly. The grey at his temples had run rampant and streaked his head like a cascade. There was still the soft brown there from the man's youth, but now it was run through with wiry greys that dulled the locks it hid in. The lines of Remus' face were deeper, more pronounced when he frowned or grimaced. The man was in his mid-thirties and already he looked well into his fifties.

Padfoot couldn't take the distance and depressing thoughts anymore and leapt weightlessly beside his friend. He lowered his head to the man's thigh and sighed deeply. He could smell fear and feel the minor tremble of Remus' muscles that lay beneath his chin. With a whine, Padfoot stood and licked at the werewolf's face, hoping to ease him from his nightmare. It had been like this for some time. That damned nightmare. But Remus refused to acknowledge it, and Sirius couldn't help him with what he would not admit to.

With a violent jerk, Remus woke, pushing the dog from his lap. He sat rigid, eyes wide and hands fisted in the couch coverlet. As he regained his bearings, he recognized the walls of the Gryffindor common room and at his feet was Padfoot whining softly.

"Sorry, Siri," he croaked, only realizing his mistake after. His eyes widened and he looked harshly around himself, easing only when he saw they were alone. Remus buried his face in his hands and breathed deeply. Padfoot was nudging his arm, back on the couch beside him. Remus pulled the dog to his lap and soothed his own horrors--and Padfoot's worries--while he petted the thick pelt.

"I'm losing it." Remus murmured into the dog's fur. And he meant it. He realized not long ago that his emotions were running rampant. He was quicker to rage, quicker to guilt, and--shamefully--quicker to tears. He felt like a moody housewife, or perhaps a pregnant woman. Except he didn't know of a pregnant woman who had the ability to tear a grown man in two.

What scared him the most was that he did not feel the rage coming and only knew of it after it had passed. Like the incident with the shirt this morning. He was sure Sirius had noticed the change in him. He didn't think Sirius realized, but he had noticed the deep concern on his friend's face after he woke from the nightmares or simpered quietly after a fit of rage. It was as though he did not control himself at those odd moments, as though someone--or some_thing_--else moved for him.

He released the dog, relaxing back into the cushions and stared blindly at the high ceiling. Padfoot laid his head on his forepaws, worried thoughts rounding in his head.

The door of the common room opened five minutes later, revealing three Gryffindor students whispering into each others ears. Padfoot forgot his brooding when the one in the middle struggled free of the group and revealed himself to be one Harry Potter.

"I'd much rather not think about it, thanks." Harry remarked, looking back over his shoulder. A resounding yip met his ears at the same time a large furry body knocked him off of his feet.

"Blimey, Harry," a highly humored voice spoke from above him. "There's a big, black dog sitting on your chest."

Harry laughed, pushing Padfoot off of him and stood, brushing lengths of fur from his robes. "Really?"

A bushy haired girl rolled her eyes from behind them, but smiled happily at the dog as she pet his head. "Honestly."

Remus smiled sleepily from the couch, pushing everything from his mind but enjoying the trio's company. "How are you doing, Harry?"

The green eyed boy blinked up from the dog and smiled genuinely at the ex-professor. "Hello, Professor. I'm fine." He picked his way around the common room and sat gingerly beside the werewolf with a shy smile. "How are you, sir?"

The little smile on Remus' face flickered and he glanced at Padfoot before looking back at the raven haired lad. "I'm doing well, Harry." The boy nodded, turning back to the large dog. Hermione frowned thoughtfully from the entry but didn't speak.

"Padfoot and I thought it would be nice to come for a visit." Remus forced a large amount of cheer into his voice that was not genuine. The children smiled and sat around them, petting Padfoot and speaking quietly about homework and classes. Remus nodded encouragingly and added a comment or two when it was expected of him.

He couldn't seem to enjoy the simple company of the three children. He was simply tired, and wanted nothing more than to lie across the couch and sleep until the next day came. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so out of sorts and more like himself. He blamed his weariness on the effects of the change.

"...eat, Professor?"

Remus blinked the haze from his eyes and turned his head toward Harry. The boy was blinking owlishly at him, having asked a question and awaiting an answer. "I'm sorry, Harry. What was that?"

The raven haired boy smiled, "We were just going to head down for lunch. Would you like to get something to eat with us?"

Lupin's stomach gave a sick clench at the thought of food and he shook his shaggy head. "No, thank you, Harry. Though I do believe I wouldn't mind a nap." He favored the trio with a smile and ignored the unwavering stare from the shaggy dog at his feet.

"What about you Snuffles?" Hermione asked, inconspicuously appraising Lupin with sidelong glances.

The dog gazed between Harry and Remus, looking torn. He whined and circled before sitting down again. Hermione pursed her lips and frowned, but was saved from making a thoughtful comment when Remus interrupted. "Go on, Padfoot. You're here to see Harry, and we'll have to leave all too soon anyway."

The dog licked his friend's hand before following Harry and the others to the doorway. He glanced back over his shoulder to see the werewolf reclining back into the couch with a slow groan. With a last worried look, Padfoot left with the children.

...oOo...

The forest air was thick and heavy with impending rain. The low branches of the conifers combed through his thick fur and made gooseflesh rise in waves across his back. The moon shone like a bleached bone, unnaturally white and glowing. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

And all around him, running through the bushes and wild ferns, he could hear the low voices and excited murmurs of canine vocals wash over him. They told him he was beautiful; that they were never a pack, not really until he came to them. How they ever survived without his strength and cunning they did not know. And he agreed.

His pelt was the softest and shiniest it had ever been. There were other healthy wolves that ran with him, male and female alike that he found beautiful. He had never seen them for the men and women they were for the other half of their lives, only as the large breed werewolves that they were now.

'Hunt.' They whispered. Yipping happily and rolling over each other. The moon broke through the canopy and shone down at them. They howled and he howled with them.

'Hunt.' They called as he broke free, running ahead into the thicket where a familiar scent met his hypersensitive nose. And he saw it, the large black dog rolling in the tall grasses.

'Hunt.' They howled as they neared, their own noses twitching at the new smell. And he showed them his friend, rolled Padfoot over with his overly large muzzle and stood proudly watching.

'Hunt!' They growled as they bared their teeth. Padfoot had backed into his forelegs, whining as his new pack circled. The black dog yipped up at him, navy eyes scared and pleading. He rolled the dog over, toward the others.

'Feed!' They howled, cornering the dog and snapping their massive jaws. He smiled in his wolf body, pleased that his pack was happy. Padfoot barked, transforming back to a man even as the wolves leapt at him.

He screamed as several sets of teeth tore into him at once. "Remus!"

...oOo...

Lupin woke with a strangled cry and soaked in sweat. There were a few first years in the corner around a chess game that were looking at him with startled doe eyes. Remus flushed, apologizing weakly as he mopped at his brow. He stood from the couch with a groan as his spine argued loudly about sleeping upright on a sofa. A moment later he was hurrying for the restroom as his stomach clenched and bile rose into the back of his throat.

He emptied his stomach in two great heaves, but remained bent over the porcelain heaving for another few minutes. Remus slumped to the floor and rested his head back against the divider wall. He had watched Sirius get eaten alive by werewolves while he sat grinning.

His stomach curdled again but he had nothing left to give up. The clicking of toenails on the polished floor barely made it through the pounding of his head. A moment later, Sirius' deeply lined face was hovering over his own.

"Are you alright, Remy?"

Remus gaped, hauling the man into the stall and looking out of the entry for other people. He withdrew back into the stall and collapsed onto the floor again. "What are you doing? You could get caught!"

Sirius gave him a cocky grin. "Well I've locked the door haven't I? And Harry soundproofed the room. Now, tell me what's wrong."

Lupin swallowed hard, seeing his friend's worried face. It wasn't pinched in pain or screaming and streaked in blood; it was warm and concerned. "Nothing, Siri," he mumbled, not able to meet his friend's gaze. "Just feeling a bit ill. Day after and all..."

He had used that as a reason quite often lately, knowing that soon Sirius would tire of the excuse and truly drag it all out of him.

"Remus," Sirius said softly, eyes searching his friend's haggard face for clues.

"Leave it, Sirius," Remus begged, eyes glued to the tile.

"Remy, you have to--"

"Leave it!" Remus growled, eyes blazing as he stared up at his friend where he sat on the closed toilet lid.

Sirius' eyes narrowed and he nodded his matted head. Remus swallowed hard, guilt flooding his body so hard he felt as though he would vomit again. "I'm sorry, Sirius." He struggled to his feet, leaning against the closed stall door.

Sirius sighed deeply, running a hand over his face. "I know, Remus. I know."

"It's--I--there's..." Remus started, not wanting to have this conversation but needing to give Sirius something to quail him.

"What is it?" Sirius pleaded, hands on Remus' shoulders. "Come on, Remy, you can tell me."

"The nightmares," Remus felt Sirius' long fingers flex at the mention of his dreams, "there are more of them. Different ones and getting worse."

"Remus, you've got to talk about them. Maybe it will help." Sirius shook his friend lightly.

"No!" He blurted. "Not yet."

Sirius sighed and nodded, letting Remus go and stepping back to give him room to open the door. "Alright, Remy."

They stopped at the sink where Remus rinsed his mouth and then his face. Sirius watched him from the far wall, worried even more than he was before they arrived. Remus had always been shaken a bit after the nightmares, but he had yet to be ill. The fact that he refused to talk about the dreams only made things worse.

"Sirius," Remus whispered, pausing as he wiped his face to look at his friend's reflection.

"Yeah, Remus?"

"You wouldn't leave me, would you? I mean, leave me alone during the change."

Sirius wanted to laugh at how ridiculous the idea was, but the fact that Remus had to ask and to ask while looking so vulnerable had sucked all the hilarity from the moment. "Of course not, Remus. I'm your pack, that's what I'm here for."

The tense hold of Remus' shoulders relaxed and the color slowly returned to the wolf's face. Sirius was a bit relieved that the lycan was coming around a bit, but still confused about why Remus would feel the need to ask in the first place.

"Remus, do you think I'm going to leave you?" Sirius asked cautiously, voice soft.

The wolf's shoulders slumped and he watched the wolf's fingers curl tightly around the sink lip. "I just--I need you Sirius, more than I think you realize."

The blue-eyed man was surprised and pushed himself away from the wall. "_You_ need _me_, Remus? Has it slipped your mind that I'm an escaped convict being hunted relentlessly for day and night?"

Remus turned from the sink and fixed the animagus with serious look. "I know that, Sirius."

The wolf looked so forlorn and lost that Sirius hugged him. "I'm sorry Rems, I guess I don't know how to handle being needed again after so long alone."

"That's alright, Sirius." Remus smiled over the man's shoulder. "I just needed you to know."

The man nodded, not understanding the depth of Remus' admission, but acknowledging that it was highly important to his friend anyway.

...oOo...

Snuffles was currently making his way through the halls of Hogwart's with the agility and cunning known only of one other black dog that had ever roamed them, and that was nearly twenty years ago.

The Golden Trio had left both he and Remus in the common room, regretfully headed to their afternoon classes. Remus had blearily promised to remain until dinner, but then the two of them would need to leave. Harry had looked immensely pleased and so had been Padfoot, that was until he turned back to his friend and saw how completely drained the poor man was.

Once Remus had fallen asleep again on the common room couch, Padfoot had taken only a moment's hesitation to leave him and run off toward the dungeons and what very well could be his ultimate doom. But for Remus, he'd take the chance.

That's where he was headed to currently. He knew for a fact that the man he was seeking did not have classes for this period. He had heard him tell several students of his house that he would be in his quarters should they require anything of him. Luckily for Padfoot, the man hadn't seen him or he would probably be hexed into next week already.

The oddly colored bricks to his right made him slow to a stop as his nose told him that he was in the proper spot. The strong smell of wood smoke and spice that always clung to the potions master was pouring from the cracks in the brick-work. Behind him, a portrait of a smug looking man was eyeing him with unmasked disgust. Thankfully, it had not spoken to him; but then again, Padfoot doubted a man looking that high and mighty would ever lower himself to speak to a stray dog.

Actually using his brain for once--Remus would have been proud--Padfoot didn't transform back to his self. Instead he scratched at the stones and barked in yips that echoed off of the empty corridor walls. It was five long minutes before the stones began to shift and he heard an irritated mutter from the other side of the stones. Severus Snape soon stood tall and elegant before him, his wand drawn and pointed down at him with the end already glowing and a sick sneer on his face.

"You stupid, idiotic, Gryffindor mutt!" Snape sizzled, sneer growing as Padfoot tensed, the hackles along his back rising as he curled his lip over his fangs.

"Ah, Severus! And Snuffles!" Severus glanced in the direction of the Headmaster but did not lower his wand. Padfoot growled lowly.

Albus ambled forward, petting Snuffles on the head and effectively stepping in Severus' way. "I'm glad you are both here together! I would like to have a word with you Severus, if I may. And it seems someone else would as well."

Glowering, the potions master withdrew into his room, allowing Albus and Padfoot to enter. "Don't even think of getting on my furniture, Black."

Sirius snorted in his dog form and reverted back to human in a matter of seconds, Severus looked unimpressed. He nodded to the Headmaster, relieved that Albus didn't look upset with him.

"Now, I do believe you had something to discuss with me," Snape drawled, reclining against the edge of his hearth with arms crossed over his chest.

Dumbledore blinked several times behind his half moon spectacles. "Oh, nothing wholly urgent, Severus. Madame Pomfrey is running low on a basic pain reliever and has asked that you brew her up several bottles at your leisure."

One sable eyebrow rose into an arch. "Of course," Snape spoke slowly, clearly trying to remain calm at the request that could have been made by floo. He probably wouldn't have been so disgruntled if he wasn't so sure that Albus hadn't popped up just to get Black into his quarters.

"And what do you want, Black?"

Sirius stiffened, fingers itching to curl into the potions master's long, greasy hair and beat his skull against the brick. "I have a favor," he mumbled.

That damned eyebrow rose again and a small smirk curled the corner of Severus' lips. "What was that, Black?"

"I have a favor," he repeated; loudly and overly exaggerated.

Snape sneered. "What makes you think I would do a favor for the likes of you?"

He flinched, but didn't back down. "Look, it's not for me, alright. It's for Remus."

There went that eyebrow again. "Excuse me?"

Sirius grinned, knowing all too well that Snape was leery of his werewolf companion. "Remus, you know, the bloke that tried to eat you in our fifth year? The one that took the DADA position out from under you last year?"

Snape was trembling in anger now, Sirius mentally slapped himself. _Good work, Sirius. Surely he'll help you now that you've rubbed his face into it_.

"Get out, Black." Severus hissed, eyes aflame.

"Look, Snape, forget what I said. Really, I need your help." Sirius pleaded.

"Out, now!" Snape pointed to his doorway, advancing slowly on the animagus.

"Dammit, would you stop being such a prick and listen to me?!" Sirius growled, not retreating in the least even as Severus advanced on him with a gleam in his eye that promised painful ends.

Albus stood from his seat and stepped between them again, sighing deeply. "Calm down, the both of you. Now, Sirius, what is it exactly that you need from Severus?"

"Dreamless Sleep." Severus snorted and Sirius shot him a dirty look. He turned back to Dumbledore. "He's been having these horrible nightmares that are tearing him apart. He barely sleeps, barely eats; and just this afternoon he's gotten sick after waking up. I don't know what to do besides get him some decent rest."

Albus looked thoughtful and sad at the same time. He nodded his head while he twiddled with the end of his beard. "Is this what you wanted to see me about this morning, Sirius?"

Snape narrowed his eyes as he looked between them, left out of the conversation.

Sirius glanced over at Snape and frowned, not wanting to tell so much of Remy's problems to his most hated enemy. "Part of it. There's more to it than the nightmares." Albus looked intrigued so Sirius swallowed his contempt for Snape and continued. "Lately, and by that I mean over the past month or so, he's been snippy."

Severus snorted. "Having a lovers spat, are we?"

Sirius bristled, "Stuff it, Snivellus!"

Albus rolled his eyes and hushed them both. "Surely there is no need for concern if Remus has been a bit grumpy, Sirius. You've said yourself that he has been getting poor sleep."

"Yes," Sirius nodded, "but it's more than the grumps. He," he paused and looked quickly at Severus again, "has been getting angry. Violently angry. Very quickly, and for a very brief amount of time."

Snape paled slightly and looked toward his fireplace. Sirius wanted to grin but hadn't the heart. "It started quite mildly really. And I thought it would pass as well. But now, little things make him so _angry_ that he's broken things. Then after, he looks at whatever he's broken and goes horribly pale and starts to shake. It's like he forgets or doesn't realize what he's doing until he's already done it."

Sirius sat heavily onto a nearby couch, ignoring the glare sent his way from Snape. Albus sat down next to him and patted his hand. "Perhaps it is just the lack of sleep, Sirius."

"But you've seen him, Albus. Remy wouldn't squash a beetle as a child and not feel sorry for it. Now he's shredding shirts when the buttons frustrate him, busting through doors when the latch is sticking, and yelling whenever I try to talk to him about it!" Sirius sat panting for a second after his outburst, then turned beseeching eyes to Dumbledore. "You have to understand, he's not _Remus_ the way he's been, Albus."

There was a contemplative look on the Headmaster's face and Sirius turned back to Snape. "So will you give me some Dreamless Sleep or not?"

Snape snorted, "What you need is a silver kennel."

Sirius flushed, hands curling into fists. He stood from the couch and stalked to the door--instead of where he wanted to go, which was right into Severus' personal space--his face was pinched in internal pain. He turned back to them both with a growl. "Forget it! I forget you have no friends, Snivellus, so you don't feel the need to help them. I'll help him myself!"

He stumbled out of the entryway and fell onto four feet. The portrait in front of him sneered down at him again, but Padfoot couldn't take it. He lept at the portrait, snapping his jaws and clawing at the canvas. He was satisfied to hear the man squeal in a highly undignified manner, and took a large chunk of the frame away in his teeth before he started his way back toward Gryffindor tower.


	3. The Unbearable Pain of Knowing

Remus was sitting up and staring into the fire when Padfoot returned. He smiled lightly at the dog and gave him a worried look when the dog collapsed to the ground. Padfoot rolled his eyes at him and spat out a chunk of something that looked like a rather decent sized piece of wood. Remus plucked it up and frowned down at the dog when he realized it was a piece of framework, most likely from a portrait somewhere in the castle.

"Have you had a good run around the castle?" He teased, reclining back into the cushions and stretching his legs toward the fire.

Padfoot stood up and ambled onto the couch beside him, dropping heavily onto the upholstery and laying his head on Remus' thigh. The dog let out a deep sigh and buried his nose in the cushions beside Remus' leg, taking some comfort as the wizard trailed his fingers over his pelt.

They sat in the silence of the abandoned common room for the next hour, dozing but not enough for dreams. When the final classes of the day had ended and the common room began to fill again, Remus and Padfoot awaited Harry and his friends with a fresh enthusiasm.

"Hello again!" Harry beamed, dropping into a nearby chair with exhaustion. Padfoot had already gotten off of the couch and tried desperately to fit himself onto Harry's lap.

Ronald Weasley made a face as he laughed. "You'll be picking hair off of your robes for the rest of the year, mate."

Harry looked at his friend around the mass of dog blocking his view and grinned, "That's alright. At least I'll have something to remember him by, eh Padfoot?"

The dog yipped and licked Harry's face, attempting to smother the boy with his bulk again.

Hermione was standing to the side, smiling at her friends and taking further glances at the terribly fatigued ex-DADA professor on the couch. She watched as the man touched his left shoulder gingerly as his face paled. She frowned thoughtfully. In the cumulative two hours they had spent in the werewolf's company, he had touched his shoulder half a dozen times. She was starting to wonder if he had hurt himself.

"Professor Lupin, perhaps you should see Madame Pomfrey before you leave," Hermione said matter-of-factly.

The conversation between the three males stopped abruptly. "Whatever for, Hermione?" Ron puzzled, looking the lycanthrope over.

"Are you feeling alright, Professor Lupin?" Harry asked worriedly, green eyes round.

Lupin had an exasperated look on his face as he stuttered out a reply. "O-of course I'm fine, Harry. I'm just a bit tired...the full moon was last night you see..."

The boys made understanding noises and nodded in sympathy. Lupin sighed lightly through his nose in relief, until he looked over at the young witch and was met with her more inquisitive look.

He smiled at her, hoping to quell the curiosity the girl had. She was clever, and by far the brains of the trio, but he didn't want her to poke her nose into his problems. "Honestly, Hermione, I'm fine."

The girl nodded, smiling back and blushing lightly. "Of course."

Lupin glanced at the clock over the common room mantle and sighed lightly. "Well, Padfoot, I hate to say it but it's time to get moving."

The dog groaned unhappily from his perch leaning against Harry's chest. Remus stood with a carefully suppressed groan and motioned the dog to him. He turned to the three students with a sleepy smile. "It was good to see you all again. I hope you'll study hard."

Ron rolled his eyes but nodded. "What is it with adults? All they talk about is studying."

Hermione poked him none to gently in the ribs and huffed, "Ron! If you actually studied once in a while maybe they wouldn't."

The redhead looked affronted and started a quiet refute to the girl while Harry shrugged and turned from them. "They're always like that." He smiled gently, stepping forward awkwardly.

Remus gave the boy a gentle smile and bent forward, resting a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry grinned, giving the werewolf a hug at his waist quickly. He looked mildly embarrassed when he backed away but he was still smiling. Padfoot yipped and circled, shrugging his way into a hug from Harry as Remus laughed to himself.

"Come on, Padfoot."

It took another five minutes before Lupin managed to move the black dog away from Harry and out of Gryffindor tower. With the door shut behind them and an empty corridor stretching ahead Remus let out a pained breath and didn't bother to hide his limp as he crept down the stairs.

Padfoot stayed a step behind, eyes worried and mouth open to snap a hold of the wizard's robes to prevent a fall if it got that far.

An eternity later, they managed to make it to the ground floor and started their way toward the main doors. Lupin was locked inside his own head, hands in his pockets and fingering the shrunken bags there. He had forgotten about their money problems for the afternoon, he guessed that was a good thing.

Students were slowly filing their way toward the Great Hall for dinner, meandering in groups of three or four. The ex-professor smiled as he and Padfoot moved past the cliques. The dog didn't bother milling about with the students this time, and Remus idly wondered if he was feeling well.

"Professor Lupin!"

Remus paused, looking back. They had just made it in front of the main doors but it was apparent that Albus was looking for them. The Headmaster waved from his distance, a genial smile on his face. Trailing behind him in the shadows stalked the thin form of the potions master.

Padfoot had curled his lip over his fangs, growling softly until Remus rested a hand on the dog's head and scratched him behind the ears. Albus slowed to a stop in front of them and gently rested a hand on Remus' shoulder, eyes losing sparkle when the wizard winced and slowly extracted himself from the Headmaster's touch.

Lupin felt his cheeks heat with color, knowing he was caught but tried to pretend no one else had noticed. When he finally looked up he was caught in the hardened gaze of Severus Snape as the man frowned at him.

"What can I do for you, Headmaster?" Remus asked, snapping his eyes away from Snape and to the Headmaster's amiable blue eyes.

"I've come to see you off, my boy," Albus smiled opening the outside door and following the two visitors onto the atrium. Like a reluctant shadow, Snape skittered after them.

"Here," Albus motioned to Snape and the darker wizard came forward from the shadowed corner of the building's entrance. The potions master passed a box to the headmaster with a scowl, immediately crossing his arms over his chest after his hands were freed from the box.

"What is it?" Remus asked, curious as Padfoot lowered his head and scooted around until he was nearly sitting behind Albus.

"There are many vials within. Simple pain relievers, healing potions, Dreamless Sleep; things you may find use for while you travel." Dumbledore pet Padfoot's head, smiling happily.

"Oh, well, thank you, Albus," Remus shrank the box and tucked it neatly into his pocket with his other packages. He saw Severus scowl in his corner and cleared his throat, "Thank you, Severus."

The potions master snorted and turned away from them. Remus shrugged.

"Be careful, Remus, and if you have need of anything feel free to send an owl. I will help you however I may." Dumbledore walked with them down the stairs, leaving Severus free to return into the castle and disappear again into his dungeons.

"Of course, Albus." Remus nodded, walking with the Headmaster to the main gates with Padfoot plodding along after them.

The Headmaster stopped just inside the gates to watch the duo make their way. They paused outside of the wards of Hogwart's. Lupin waved and with a soft pop, the duo apparated away.

When they were within a hundred yards of the decrepit shack, Padfoot reverted back into Sirius Black in time to catch Lupin as the werewolf gasped audibly and fell toward the ground.

"Remus!" Sirius grasped hold of the wizard's lapels and pulled him to his feet, looking into the man's pained honeyed eyes from inches away. Remus' eyes were detached and fogged with pain.

"Leggo, Siri..." Lupin whimpered.

Immediately Sirius released his grip on Remus' shoulders and had to still himself with a great amount of willpower as the werewolf fell to his knees in the moss. Remus' shaking right hand came up and curled around his left shoulder.

Sirius stood watching, not feeling this helpless since he had heard about James and Lily Potter. "Remy," He started softly. When the wolf didn't move he bent down to his level. "Come on, Remus." He looped an arm around his friend's waist and pulled the man to his feet.

"Gods, Siri..." Remus moaned, fingers digging into his shoulder as he leaned heavily into his friend's support.

"It's alright, Remus...It's alright..." Sirius shuffled toward the shack, thankful that there was no lock on the door and he only had to push it in with his foot. By the time they had made it to the bedside, he was dragging Remus.

The werewolf fell onto the mattress with a small cry of pain and lay on his back panting.

"Le' me see," Sirius said, prying Lupin's fingers away from his shoulder. Reluctantly, Remus let go and dropped his hand to his side. Sirius gasped, tugging at his friend's shirt to look at his pained shoulder. There was a crimson stain spreading across the thin fabric of Remus' robes.

The crescent scar that Remus tended to hide from him, even when they were children, was open and seeping as though it had only just happened. Sirius looked down at his blood stained hands and then at the gash again. "Remus, what--what is this?"

The werewolf hissed in pain, writhing on the bed. Sirius heard an audible pop of release from his friend's hip and watched in awe as Lupin arched off of the linen in pain. Remus' eyes were screwed up tight.

"Remus!" He bent forward, his face hovering over his friend's. "Look at me, Remy, come on!"

Remus didn't seem to hear. His fingers were spasming around the edges of his raw wound, trailing the pooling blood in brilliant smears of color across his pale flesh. He couldn't stop whimpering.

"Remus," Sirius barked, fear for his friend bridging on panic. He brought his hand up, hesitating before he slapped the wizard sharply across the face.

Lupin's amber eyes snapped open and he screamed, jerking back on the bed in terror. His eyes locked with Sirius' blue and slowly recognition crept in until he fell back on the bed in trembles, sweat beading along his forehead.

"Merlin, Remus, I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to do," Sirius rambled. He was never very good with these situations.

Even through the pain, Remus tried to soothe Sirius guilt. "'S okay. I thought you were someone else..."

"What should I do, Remy?"

Remus shook his head back and forth along the pillow. "Dunno..."

A light clicked in Sirius' head and he began to fumble through Remus' pockets. He withdrew a handful of shrunken packages and dropped them to the floor, expanding them all with a flick of Remus' wand. He dove at the plain brown package from the Headmaster and tore the paper apart, biting through the twine strings with his teeth. With the lid flipped back, Sirius rummaged through the many vials with shaking fingers, cursing Snape for his fine, spidery script.

He finally recognized a bottle of healing potion and pulled it away from the box, nearly breaking it open as it slipped free. He pulled the cork away with his teeth and leveled Remus' head. "Here, Remy, drink this."

Lupin coughed as the liquid trickled down his throat but managed to swallow the entirety. His eyelids felt heavy, and he blinked panicked eyes at Sirius. "Siri--"

"It's okay, Remy, sleep, it will help." Sirius began to stroke Remus' shaggy greying hair from his face, hands still shaking.

"No," Remus whimpered, shaking his head violently back and forth. The scar on his shoulder had stopped bleeding and slowly it began to pull shut from the inside. "Sirius, no..."

Sirius Black sat stroking his friend's hair as he fell asleep. A tear trail down his nose that matched the tears that spilled from the corners of Remus' eyes as the werewolf finally succumbed to the pull of the healing draught.

With a great exhale, Sirius slumped to the floor next to the bed, lowered his face to his hands and wept silently without tears. When his melancholy had passed, he scrubbed the dry blood from his hands and face in a basin of rainwater that collected off of the porch. He returned to the one room shack and began to pick up the mess he had trailed in and created in his search for help.

He paused with a large scrap of brown paper in his hand and looked up at Remus. The wizard was sleeping, but his right eye was twitching in his sleep. He glanced at the paper in his hand and stepped over the remainder of the mess, removing a quill and bottle of ink from a nearby shelf.

Sirius then cleaned the remainder of the room, and penned another short note that he left on the tabletop, weighted with the bottle of ink.

Remus whimpered and Sirius was at his side a second later. He ran a warm hand across Remus' sweating brow and frowned. "It'll be alright, Remus. Sleep, I'll be back as soon as I can."

He stepped away from the bed and placed the first note into his teeth, quickly changing into a shaggy black dog. With one last sorrowful, parting look, he ran quickly out of the shack door and into the darkening woods as fast as his four feet would take him.

...oOo...

Severus Snape was doing what he liked second best, prowling the halls after curfew to catch wayward students. First best by far being his ability to brew potions. He had just emerged from the dungeons and was walking silently across the first floor hall, directly across from the main doors of Hogwart's. He was nearly to the stairs that led to the astronomy tower when a faint scratching made him pause.

He withdrew his wand from his pocket and held it lightly in his fingers, back wound like a tight spring. He melted into the shadows like a whisper through a keyhole and made his way toward the doors without a sound. He paused and cocked his head to the side, letting his ears train toward the noise.

On the other side of the thick wooden doors, the scratching intensified for a moment with a low keening whine to accompany it.

Severus sneered, he had a fairly good idea of who it was exactly that was on the other side. He lowered his wand to the level of his hip and aimed it at an angle to the ground. Wrapping his long fingers around the handle of the door, Snape tugged it open and jabbed his wand down in a fluid motion.

A shaggy black dog bounded into the open entry, skidding to a halt as Severus' wand jabbed into its nose.

"Well, Black, how perfect for me. Alone in the dark, breaking into the castle...tsk tsk," Snape sneered, looking immensely pleased.

To his slight confusion, the dog didn't growl and lunge at him like usual; instead he sat on his haunches and whined. Snape knew better than to believe Black would have given up. The dog let out a whimper and stood, spinning in a circle.

"What are you doing, filthy mutt?" Severus hissed, furious that Sirius wasn't acting like himself.

Padfoot lunged forward, ramming his square head into the potions master's legs. Snape stumbled back a step and scowled. The dog spun again before running halfway down the hall, turned and ran back toward Snape.

Severus tensed, prepared to be barreled into, but Padfoot stopped a foot away and circled again. A smooth brow rose on Snape's face, "You don't seriously expect..."

The dog nodded, tail wagging for a second before it spun and bounded toward the far stairs, not pausing once to notice if Snape was following or not.

With a harsh sigh, Severus stalked after him. It looked like he wouldn't get to ruin any student's night; but perhaps he would get a chance to take a shot at Black.

...oOo...

Sirius was sitting impatiently outside of Dumbledore's office. He had scratched at the Gargoyle statue but it did not seem to care. The note in his mouth was slowly soaking with saliva and if he didn't hurry it would be useless. Then again, for Remus, he would take the damned chance to revert in the Headmaster's office.

Finally, far behind him, he heard Snape's clipped steps on the stones. When the lanky man came into view at the end of the stairs Sirius didn't know whether to yip for joy or bite the man's ankles.

Severus stopped in front of the stone statue then glared at the dog that sat impatiently in front of it. With a withering glare at Sirius, he mumbled the password and watched as the dog bounded up the stairs before the Gargoyle had even moved entirely out of the way.

The door to Albus' office was cracked open and Sirius nosed it enough to move through. The Headmaster was sitting at his desk with a stack of parchment to one side and a dish of cookies on the other.

Sirius stood on his hind legs and dropped the slobbery note onto the plate, yipping once. Dumbledore startled at the shrill noise and frowned at Sirius.

"My goodness, Padfoot, there is no need for such noise," Albus admonished.

The dog whined, nosing the plate.

Dumbledore glanced down and retrieved the sticky parchment. He pulled the note open and squinted at the jumbled mess. He turned the paper over and showed it to the pacing dog. "I'm afraid this means very little to me."

Padfoot whined, ignoring the fact that Snape had followed him in and had shut the door. With a spin of irritation, he reverted to a man and positively lept onto Albus.

"You have to help me, Albus!"

The Headmaster looked a bit shaken and uncurled Sirius' fingers from his night robe. "Well I know that you would not have returned in the dead of night were it not important. So tell me, that I may help you."

"It's Remus," Sirius started, falling into the chair opposite Dumbledore's desk, not sparing a glance to Severus. "Before we even made it to the shack, he collapsed Albus! And his shoulder, where the scar is, you know, it was open!"

Dumbledore was stroking his beard, pulling what he needed from the frantic message. "How did it happen?"

"I don't know. He just fell to the ground holding it and when I could finally look it was ripped open, like it was new." Sirius was talking fast, hands whipping around his head. "A-and his hip! It just broke! He wasn't even standing, just laying on the bed and it snapped!"

Albus was gazing over his half-moon spectacles, "Both wounds renewed without a cause?"

"Exactly," Sirius sighed, rubbing at his face tiredly. His face crumpled suddenly, as though he would cry but his eyes remained dry. "I gave him a healing potion and before I left he fell asleep. He begged me not to, Albus. He's petrified of sleeping."

Dumbledore stood from his chair, walking the short distance to a bookshelf lined with thick tomes. His fingers plucked across the titles before he pulled one down. As he walked back to his desk he waved his hand at the mess across his desktop and all that set on it disappeared. The book hit the polished top with a hollow thud and dust motes floated around his head.

Sirius fidgeted, foot tapping relentlessly. Finally after several minutes of Dumbledore flipping through pages, he paused and ran a finger down one faded page. "Here we are," He started with a hopeful look on his face.

After the Headmaster read down through the text, he slowly began to frown. He peeked up over his glasses and leveled a look at Sirius. "Sirius, what do you know about Remus when he was bitten?"

"Not much," Sirius looked puzzled but he thought quickly about what Remus had told him. "That he was eight, and he had a rough time of it, but he never spoke about it much."

Dumbledore nodded. "Sirius, that scar on Remus' shoulder is where he was bitten; and during that attack the wolf shook him and managed to break his hip before it was chased off."

"But, those injuries..." Sirius blanched.

"For a reason we do not understand, have been renewed." Albus finished for him.

"What can I do?" Sirius straightened. He had to do something to help Remus, whatever it took.

"For a start, we need to get the man somewhere stable to watch after him. But for now, it would do to get him well." Dumbledore stroked his beard in thought. He turned his blue eyes toward the forgotten man in the corner. "Severus, you have a free period in the morning, correct?"

Snape stiffened, "Headmaster, you cannot believe that I would go out to the middle of nowhere to aid that--that creature."

"I do, Severus, and you will." Albus' stern look brooked no argument. "See Madame Pomfrey before you leave, I will get in touch with her, she will have a package waiting for you."

Snape sneered but nodded. "Of course, Headmaster."

Sirius looked partly relieved, but mostly annoyed that Severus was getting involved. He would put up with Snivellus as long as Remus made it out of this alright.

...oOo...

He was running through the forest, dancing in the timothy grass in the brilliant light of the full moon. It was like heaven, being able to be free to do as he wanted. He wasn't cramped in a nutshell of a room trying to avoid the choruses of wolves; today he was running around with them, but free of them, by himself and happy.

The trees were thick and the underbrush was cool on the pads of his feet. He could hear water in the distance; a bubbling stream. He turned to it, tail swishing in the weeds. The water winked at him as it gurgled along and he bounded into it. The brilliant, crystal water flowed across his feet and stomach; he dipped his head low and let it run across his muzzle.

When he stood and shook, crimson tinted drops rained around him. He peered back down at the water, but it was no longer clear and clean. It was thick and oozing, reeking of copper and nearly black in the night. A river of blood.

...oOo...

Severus swore colorfully under his breath as he traipsed behind the black dog. At first the dog had bounded far ahead of him, disappearing into the thick underbrush of the far meadow. He let out a bellow of irritation, giving Sirius the rough idea about Remus dying because he couldn't slow down enough to let him follow. Since then, the dog hadn't gotten far from his line of vision, even if Padfoot did growl at him every time he looked over his shoulder to make sure Snape was following.

They had walked well over two miles through wretched trees on no noticeable path. It had irked Severus quite badly to realize how far he had to traipse to make it to the ramshackle building the two ex-Gryffindors stayed in. Apparently there had been wards put into place from a previous owner and the two found it a streak of luck.

Finally, standing on a low rise, a dilapidated structure stood in view in the dim light of the cloud covered, and waning full moon. Padfoot didn't bother to wait this time and took off toward the building, stumbling as he changed from dog to man without slowing down.

Remus was still asleep when Severus made it into the room, looking distastefully at the dry-rotted walls and cheap furniture. Sirius was sitting gingerly at Remus' side, wiping the sweat from the werewolf's forehead with the sleeve of his robe.

"Easy, Remus, I'm back now," Black murmured, looking tortured as he gazed down at his ailing friend.

Severus snorted, setting the box he had received from Madame Pomfrey on the only table. The piece of furniture creaked at the weight and Snape waited a moment for it to collapse and finally opened the box when it failed to topple.

After selecting several vials, Snape set them out and walked to the bedside. The gash of the wizard's shoulder was no longer gaping, but was still raw and red. He shot Sirius a frustrated look, the man couldn't even bind a wound properly.

Remus twitched, a soft moan stifled through his pillow. Severus looked down at him, unsure of what he needed to do. Black had already given the wolf medication to treat his wounds, all he could think to do was narrow down the possibilities of what had caused the old injuries to reassert themselves.

The sick man shifted, nearly toppling Sirius from the narrow frame. " 'm sorry," he whispered in his sleep. Sirius looked guilty, making an excuse and quickly went to the porch. Snape heard him splash around in the rain barrel that sat to the side.

He took the moment alone to look the beast over. He hardly looked like a creature of the night at the moment. He was pale and underfed, his ribs nearly razored along his sides. The hollows of his eyes were discolored and blue, cheeks sunken in and hair lying lank. Snape paused with a frown as he looked at the odd angle of Remus' leg.

"Black," he barked. The animagus quickly scuttled into the room, shushing him and glaring.

"What is it, Snape?"

"You didn't set his leg before you gave him the potion?"

Sirius blinked in confusion as he shook his head, "No."

"Idiot," Snape sneered. "It will heal crooked."

The color drained from Black's face. "We could do it now, right?"

"Of course not you impudent mutt, it's already knit. You'll have to wait until he wakes and rebreak it."

"Shit," Sirius hissed. He spun on his heel and stomped outside where Severus could see him stop just off of the porch and tangled his fingers into his hair. "Shit!" He yelled, tugging at his locks and hissing further words of degradation to himself.

Snape smirked.

On the bed, Remus shifted again with a low whimper. His lax mouth moved slowly, lips unresponsive as he slurred in his sleep. "...Run, Sev'rus." Snape stiffened, stomach tightening uncomfortably at the same moment his hand clenched unconsciously toward his wand. The werewolf twitched again, face contorting in pain or fear. "...No..." spoken slowly and loose.

Sweat beaded against the wolf's temples and he jerked up with a scream, "No!"

Snape jumped in his skin, wand pointed at the werewolf's chest even as his mind tried to remember when he had grabbed it. Sirius stumbled into the room, shooting an accusatory glare toward Severus.

Remus was gasping on the blankets, eyes wide as saucers and sweat pouring from his face and chest. His right hand crept across his stomach and stopped when his fingertips found the crescent scar, still sore and raw to the touch.

"Remy, how do you feel?" Sirius was leaning over him, face creased in worry.

The werewolf blinked at him, slowly pulling his hand away from his shoulder. "I, I dunno..."

A derisive snort came from across the room and Remus turned his head to the side to see Severus Snape reclining against one of the thin walls. If possible, his skin flushed further and he turned himself slightly away to face the wall. He was mortified. It was bad enough for Sirius to see this, to see him so weak, but Severus?

"Remus," Sirius spoke softly. The wolf turned his head toward him, trying his best to ignore the potions master. "I've done something stupid."

Another hard scoff from the corner, but Sirius only scowled and ignored the man.

"What?" Remus puzzled, mind too hazy from pain and fatigue to know what Sirius was talking about.

"I forgot to set your leg, Remus," Sirius could not quite meet his gaze and was looking at his chin. "We need to break it and set it."

His stomach clenched but there was little in it to purge. "Al-alright."

Sirius straightened and crossed the short distance to get up into Severus' face. "We do this quickly, and you will not enjoy his pain, at least not where he can see," he hissed.

Snape pushed the offensive man away and moved toward the bed. "Ready, Lupin?"

The lycanthrope nodded once Sirius had firm hold of his ankle. Severus leveled his wand at the crooked juncture of his hip and murmured a quiet spell. Immediately, the freshly healed bone cracked open. Remus bit his tongue to keep from screaming and writhed painfully on the bed, stilling when Sirius' hold made the bones grind together. He bit through his tongue a second later when Sirius jerked the leg down and inward to set it.

Blood filled his mouth and coated his teeth, his tongue pulsing painfully.

"Jesus, Remus!" Sirius stumbled across Snape and pried the wolf's jaws apart, setting his abused tongue free.

While Sirius turned to the table for a potion, Severus pressed his fingers into the agonized tissue of Lupin's shoulder. When the pain flared, hot white and raced across his vision, Remus' right hand shot up on instinct and gripped the dark wizard by the throat.

A deep growl filled the shack as Remus curled his fingers into Snape's larynx, fingernails pointed and sharp as they bit into his neck. Sirius lept between them in time to stop Snape from hexing Lupin, and pried Remus' fingers out of Severus' neck.

"Remus, let go!"

The lycan's foggy eyes cleared with a blink and the hand went entirely lax in seconds. "Severus, I-I'm so sorry," he whispered, eyes wide and panicked.

Snape had backed to the wall, wand still held tightly in his fist. "So you've said before," He spat.

Remus recoiled as though he had been struck and turned his face away, turning painfully on his side to face away from them. Sirius shot Snape a death glare as he uncorked a bottle of healing potion and gave it Remus. The wolf took it quietly and dropped the empty vial to the floor.

"You'll probably sleep again, Remy," Sirius said quietly, hovering over Lupin's head. He had expected the man to panic like before and was further worried by his reaction.

The wolf nodded into his pillow, "It can't be worse than staying awake." His soft, gravely voice faded and within moments he was asleep.

Sirius opened his mouth to start in on a tirade, but Severus cut him off. "Shut it, Black."

With slight trepidation, Severus walked around to the head of the bed and stared down at the sleeping man. He silently willed him to roll over.

"What are you doing?" Sirius hissed in his ear.

Snape sneered at him, "I need to look at his shoulder."

Suspicion etched across Black's face. "Why?"

"You drag me down here in the middle of the night to help heal him, then have the audacity to question my every motive?" Snape spat, heading toward the doorway.

"Where are you going?" Sirius called, slightly worried that Snape would leave and Remus would take a turn for the worse.

"I'm returning to Hogwart's." Snape glared at him over his shoulder.

"Don't!" Sirius called after him, running after the potions master as the man stepped off of the porch and started for the borders of the wards. If anything, Snape went faster. "Snape, please!"

The dark wizard stopped in his tracks. He turned slowly with a scowl on his face. "Will you stop asking stupid questions and allow me to do what I have to?"

"Yes," Black gritted through clenched teeth.

"Fine," Snape spat, stalking back into the building, making the whole shack shiver.

Sirius wanted to strangle the wizard, but needed his help more than he cared to admit. He followed the man into the shack and kept his tongue as Snape told him to roll Lupin onto his back.

After Sirius had gingerly moved the werewolf, Snape leaned across and examined the crescent scar across the man's shoulder. The scar was far too red and fresh looking. Lupin had taken a healing draught before Snape had gotten there, and then had an alternate version under his supervision.

He tested the tissue by prodding it again, then pressing into it harder when Lupin failed to choke him and only whimpered in his sleep. A thin bead of blood welled at the freshly sealed edge. Severus frowned thoughtfully and motioned for Sirius to move Remus again. The convict turned his friend's torso to the right without moving the healing leg while Severus checked the back of the shoulder for the fine lined crescent scar that matched from the front.

Snape sat in a creaking chair, ignoring Sirius' scowls and mumbles as he pulled out a book from a small case on the floor. He thumbed through several pages, paused to skim the contents before flipping through dozens more to repeat the process over and over again.

"What are you doing?" Sirius mumbled, trying to keep his voice quiet while he repeatedly pet the hair out of Remus' face.

"Reading, Black. Perhaps you've heard of it." Snape sneered, violently turning the page, nearly ripping it at the seam.

Sirius' face snapped up and his blue eyes charged with electricity. "Don't patronize me, Snivellus!" He hissed.

Snape prickled, book all but forgotten in his clenching fists. "Very well, Black," Severus seethed, made all the more impressive as his voice lowered as he spoke. "This is the book Albus was reading. It tells all about your beastly little friend and what he's done. And what was done to him." The last sentence spoken with a sneer.

Sirius rose slowly from the bed, shoulders heaving as he tried to keep his anger in check. "Liar."

"'...and they found him half dead in the alley, blood having pooled the width of the opening. His hip was broken and lay in a haphazard angle to his body. The bite-mark of his shoulder was red-rimmed and tinged blue..." Severus paused, finger stopping in the paragraph that he had read to mark his place. He peered up at Sirius through his hair and raised an eyebrow.

"Or perhaps this is more to you liking." Snape licked the ball of his thumb and turned two pages, resting his index finger on the line and began to read again. "During the first full moon after his attack, Remus Lupin malformed during his first change and tore his mother's left forearm into ribbons when she attempted to prevent him from swallowing his tongue. She believed he was having a seizure after spending two days with a fever of 106." Snape stopped again, glancing up to see Sirius pale and shaking, sitting on the floor beside the flimsy bed.

"Enough?" Severus purred.

"E-enough," Sirius agreed. "If Remus wants me to know he'll tell me." Black was silent for a moment before anger puckered his face. "And you shouldn't read that without his permission. It's an invasion of his privacy."

"Idiot, I could give a damn about that thing's privacy," Severus hissed. "Right now I am attempting to help him. This," he held up the book to punctuate his point, "is what we intellectuals call 'research'."

Sirius snarled and Snape was mentally counting how long it would take before the convict changed into a dog and attempted his life. Remus whimpered softly on the bed and ruined his moment by stealing Sirius' rage and turning it to concern.

Black perched on the bed again and mopped at his friend's brow with his robe sleeve. He left Severus to his books for the next two hours, too busy worrying about Remus and trying to settle his nerves by tending to his friend's needs.

At two in the morning Sirius woke with a start and rubbed at his blurry eyes. He stretched painfully off of the floor and took note that Remus was still asleep and Severus was still in the corner squinting down at three texts all open and spread along the small table top.

He was too exhausted for a confrontation at the moment and left Snape to himself while he checked over Remus again. He was no longer sweating buckets and the color had returned to the wolf's face. Sirius sighed softly in relief.

"Black," Snape said quietly while still sounding alarmingly loud in the depth of silence. Sirius shot the dark wizard an ugly look and made sure Remus was still sleeping before walking softly toward the potions master.

Snape looked even more menacing in the flickering light of one lamp. The moon was still mostly full after its turn but heavy clouds had moved in over the last few hours and now the only source of light and heat was sitting in front of the dark-eyed man, making his eyes sparkle with an unsettling cunning and intelligence.

"What is it?"

Severus sneered, "Don't sound so annoyed you idiot, I think I've found something."

Sirius quickly sat on the rough floorboards, mentally cursing the lacking provisions of their temporary home. "Well, what is it?"

Snape rolled his eyes and turned a page in the book directly in front of him. "This text revolves around the mental ailment of lycanthropy. Since there is so little documented about werewolves and their abilities, these other two are all that the library had to offer in the manner of intelligence."

"Wait, you said mental ailment, so it's all in Remus' head?" Sirius looked curious before he snarled. "Are you calling him mad?"

"Shut it, Black," Severus snapped, hands clenching and unclenching. "If you want to hear what I've to say about him, then you will be quiet and listen." Sirius bit his lip to keep from retorting and glowered up at Snape. He suddenly wished he did have a chair, his being lower than Severus' eye level was really starting to make him feel as though Snape were in charge. He finally nodded and Snape sneered before turning back to his books.

"Muggles believe lycanthropy is a mental disease where someone believes they can turn into a werewolf. They don't believe it can actually happen and the result is some poor fool getting himself stuffed full of needles and taking enough medication to stun an elephant.

"Lance Scorch is one of our leading researchers from the turn of the century. He applied the muggle theory of a mental ailment to actual lycanthropes to come up with this text," Snape stabbed a finger into the book and stared pointedly at Sirius to make sure he was indeed paying attention.

Sirius bent over the book, blocking Snape's view with the back of his head. Snape sneered but let him read. It wasn't long before the animagus was seething again. "So you are telling me this is all in Remus' head?"

"Yes," Snape grinned evilly.

"You sick bastard!" Sirius curled his fists into the wizard's robes and shook him. Snape snatched his wand from his pocket and poked Black in the nose with it until the animagus let go.

"If you would have finished reading it you may have learned something," Severus hissed. "It is a combination of Lupin's lycanthropy and his mental instability."

"He isn't crazy," Sirius snapped, not having enough courage to lunge at Snape with the wand pointing at him.

"On the contrary, he is making himself sick. The man is thirty-four years old and still cannot openly admit his disease. In his own mind he believes he is two creatures; one a wizard, the other a beast. He can't even admit to himself that he is both." Snape's lip curled in distaste.

"Fine, so if you're right, what is making him sick like this? How can his 'mental instability' cause his wounds to reopen?"

Snape reluctantly returned his wand to his pocket and flipped through several pages of another of the texts. "Lupus Disvestire Apostasis."

"What?" Sirius frowned, hauling an empty crate to the table to sit down.

"Apostasy, Black. An abandonment of what one has believed in. For some reason or another, Lupin's perfect world where he believes he is not a dark creature has been broken down. He's facing the fact that he is a werewolf, but still trying to deny it. His beast is trying to show him differently." Snape sat back, his face was not giddy for causing Black shock as it might have been. Instead, grim lines were etched around his eyes and mouth.

Sirius was pale. He ran a shaking hand down his face and sighed heavily. "So the wolf inside of him, it's trying to break free?"

"Not exactly," Severus frowned and scanned the book again. "It wants recognition, to be fed. If Lupin won't acknowledge that he is half beast, he will tear himself apart from the inside out."

"But you just said the wolf wanted recognition," Sirius blinked in confusion. "So it's the wolf that will kill him."

Severus shook his head violently, "No! He is the werewolf, Black. That's the problem. He has divided himself so completely in his mind that he believes he is two, until he can accept he is one, he's going to slowly --and painfully-- kill himself."

"Merlin," Black breathed, he stumbled over to the bed and sat down beside his friend. Sirius looked up at Snape. "How do I help him?"

Snape shrugged elegantly and closed the books in front of him. "I do not know."

"What? How can you not know? It has to be in those books!" Sirius spat with a low hiss, mindful of his sleeping friend.

"The books are only of the problems werewolves can face, Black. And that research isn't much. There isn't a lot of need --or money-- from society to fix werewolves' ailments. Most people would say to put them down." Snape smirked slightly.

Sirius gnashed his teeth and turned back to Remus. The same old barbs stung quite a bit more when Remus was facing such Hell.

Snape stood and gathered his things together, stuffing them neatly into a rucksack. Sirius watched him quietly until the potions master started toward the exit.

"Where are you going?"

Severus arched an eyebrow, "Hogwart's."

"You can't leave," Sirius whispered in a hiss.

"On the contrary, I can do what I want. I've done all I can, Black. I am not a healer." Snape tugged the door open and looked momentarily startled as the knob fell off into his hand. He regained his composure and tossed the brass at Sirius, using his wand to swing the door open. "I'll tell Albus what I've learned. There are enough potions there to tide you over until the Headmaster can find something to do with you."

Sirius opened his mouth but clacked it shut and nodded. "Fine."

"'ank you, S'vrus..." a low mumble came from the bed and both dark haired men blinked down at Remus in surprise. Severus sneered to cover it and stalked out without a reply.

"Do you need anything Remus?" Sirius asked quietly, no longer caring about Snape so long as the bastard got far away from them.

"No," the werewolf croaked, rolling slowly onto his back with a hiss of pain. Sirius watched as the pain-filled lines of his face eased as he fell asleep again.

Sirius sat on the floor, leaning against the bed frame. When dawn came, he was still there, eyes red rimmed and aching. An owl from Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry found him there still at twenty past eleven.


	4. Hell of Secrets Told

Severus Snape was seated in Albus Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster had yet to tell him what he was needed for. Albus, himself, was looking over a small stack of parchment and effectively ignoring the glares sent his way.

It was another ten quiet minutes before Severus' snapped. "If you don't mind the interruption, Albus, what do you want?"

The Headmaster blinked up at him, easing his spectacles down his nose and smiled brightly. "Oh, I do not mind, Severus." And he inched the lenses back up and continued to read.

Snape ran a hand down his face and bit the ball of his thumb to keep from screaming.

There was an unsteady knock on the door and Albus finally seemed to come around. He shuffled the parchments together and waved the door open with a cheery, "Please, come in!"

Severus frowned deeply as Remus Lupin slowly shuffled in, dragging his right leg slightly. At the wolf's heels trotted Padfoot. Dumbledore stood from his chair with a keen look of worry and helped Lupin to his seat.

"There now, Remus, can I get you something to drink? Tea perhaps?" The wolf nodded with a weak smile and accepted the cup conjured for him. He set the saucer onto his left leg and stretched the right out, leaning toward Snape to keep the weight off of his hip.

Dumbledore watched them all silently in turn before clearing his throat and thumbing through his pages again. With a bright smile he tugged a rather lengthy note from the middle and set it to the top. He carefully snapped his wand and a tingle of magic rushed across the skin of all occupants. Albus then looked down at Padfoot and nodded. Instantly, Sirius Black reverted to man and sat down sloppily in the chair next to Lupin.

"Goodness, you two look a fright," Albus said in docile tones. "I take it the night was a long one?"

"And rough," Sirius admitted. His voice was sandpapery and dry. He swallowed greedily from a newly conjured cup of tea and reclined in his seat with a sigh.

"Well then, I do hope this will bring some sunshine to your dismal day!" Albus perked up again, turning the long parchment around and offering it up to Sirius. The animagus took the paper and scanned it over. His eyes widened, then narrowed as he reread the parchment.

"What is it?" Remus asked, trying to look over at the paper but unwilling to apply pressure to his aches.

Sirius finally looked up, a little aghast and grinned widely as he passed the paper over. While Remus read he took the initiative to have his questions answered.

"How in the world did you manage this Albus?"

The Headmaster leaned back in his chair and touched the side of his nose with a long finger. "Ah, that is not the important question. Rest assured it is all legal." The blue eyes lost a bit of twinkle as he spoke again, "Though I am sorry that you no longer have legal claims in the eyes of the Wizengamot."

"I never even wanted the place," Sirius said with conviction. He looked over at Remus and his expression softened. "But it will still be a far sight better than where we are now."

Lupin finally passed the parchment back and took a shaky sip from his tea. "You now have the property rights to 12 Grimmauld Place. What do you plan to do with it?"

"Grant its use to the true owner of course!" Albus smiled again, retrieving the parchment and returning it to his stack. "Sirius will now have a safe haven to stay without fear of being captured and persecuted. And not a moment too soon I might add."

Remus flushed lightly and stared down at his teacup.

"This is all highly touching, but why am I here?" Severus finally interrupted, on the verge of storming out of the office.

Dumbledore only smiled brighter and offered them all a lemon sherbet. "Why, you are here because you have an important role in this affair."

"Which is?"

Albus retrieved a familiar book from the stack on his desk and passed it to Snape. The dark wizard looked it over, flipped it open to be sure, then raised an eyebrow instead of asking the question. "Yes, Severus, I would like you to continue your research on Remus' problem."

"This is absolutely ridiculous!" Snape stormed, rising from the chair and tossing the book down into it. He began to pace, raving about the absolute impossibility of what Albus was asking. It was only a short second before Sirius had lept from his chair and was agreeing with Severus' assessment--refusing to allow the 'greasy bastard' any where near Remus while he was ill.

Remus, completely ignored despite the fact that they were all arguing about him, set his teacup on the floor and took the book from Severus' chair. He opened the cover and flipped in a few pages. His face lost color and he began to shuffle through the pages quickly. At the top of a page near the middle, his name was bolded and underlined as a header. He read down through the paragraphs, his hands shaking and letting loose a low keening moan that finally drew the attention of the others.

He held his breath as he turned the pages again, pausing over a passage that told of his mauling his own mother. The book fell from his numb fingers to the floor and he looked between the three startled men with glazed eyes. His stomach was roiling.

In an unsteady, painful gait he rushed toward Albus' personal quarters and burst into the small bathroom, retching into the sink.

Albus' eyes held no sparkle as he stood from the chair and went after the werewolf. He left the two remaining wizards with a parting look that told them to behave.

"Why'd you have to leave that where he could see it?" Sirius snarled, snatching up the book and shaking it at Severus.

"He's a grown man, Black. If he needs to be babysat, it's your responsibility not mine." Snape snarled, snatching the book from the animagus' hands and tucking it under his elbow.

Albus returned, supporting Remus back to his seat. The werewolf was sickly looking, hands shaking badly and sweat beaded along his upper lip. Sirius sent another glare at Snape before sitting down beside him. He attempted to put a comforting hand on Remus' arm, but the wolf shied away.

"What is that?" Lupin croaked out after a few minutes of highly uncomfortable silence. He pointed a shaking finger at the book he could see clamped to Snape's side.

Albus sighed with deep regret and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It is what it seems, Remus. It is a compilation of those who are now, or who have been werewolves."

Lupin shook his head violently, "But it's too small to be on all werew-- all of them, so why am I there? How do they know?"

"It is written in my hand, Remus, used and seen by my eyes only," Albus paused and turned his eyes to Snape and corrected himself, "until very recently. You are correct, it is not on all werewolves, only those that have been turned by Fenrir Greyback."

Lupin bit his tongue rested a hand on his stomach to keep it from revolting. "Th-the details..."

"It took much digging and even more research to authenticate." Dumbledore smiled sadly, "There are no valuable texts on lycanthropy, I'm afraid. But with the ever-present threat of Fenrir Greyback and all that he has ever done, I found it necessary to mark his deeds. If nothing else but to find a pattern to his madness."

"Is there?" Severus interrupted, wholly intrigued despite himself.

Albus shook his head, "None that I have been able to correlate." He returned his gaze to the lycan and offered a sympathetic smile, "I'm sorry, Remus."

Lupin waved his hand dismissively and then curled it around his shoulder, covering the still aching bite scar.

"Why me, Albus?" Snape interjected into the growing silence. He had yet to be satisfied with an answer.

"Because you have already pinpointed the disease, Severus," Dumbledore ignored the shocked look he got from Remus and continued. "You already create the Wolfsbane that Remus must drink regularly, it is only fitting that you continue your research. You already know more about Remus' inner workings than most people that consider him a friend."

Sirius bit his lip to keep from making a very rude comment and instead turned his eyes to his friend. Remus was bone white, still hung up on the 'disease' comment and looking highly embarrassed about the whole situation.

"I still beli--"

"You know what's wrong with me?" Remus interrupted in a quiet voice. Snape clamped his mouth shut and looked hard at the lycanthrope.

After a tense moment, Snape nodded stiffly. "Yes."

"What is it?"

"Lupus Disvestire Apostasis." Snape crossed his arms over his chest, easily tucking the controversial book into the folds of his robe with a slight of hand.

"What does that mean?" Remus looked up at him, then at Albus. Dumbledore looked intrigued, even tugging lightly at his beard and nodding to himself as he thought.

"It means your fighting yourself, Remy," Sirius answered. Lupin gave him an incredulous look with a bit of hurt.

"You knew?"

"He told me about it last night while you were sleeping."

"Well then, what-- I mean, how do I fix it?" Remus asked, voice rising in panic.

"We do not know," Severus said coolly from his position.

"I--I see." Remus frowned, fingers tightening around his shoulder. Instead of dissolving into tears like Snape expected, Lupin's jaw tightened. He looked ages older, even more than what the premature greying of his hair had already done. The pain and sickness kept him looking pinched and fatigued.

"I'll do what I can." Snape blurted, then was furious with himself.

Lupin blinked his honey-colored eyes at him and gave him a facsimile of a smile, "Thank you, Severus."

Snape nodded tightly, locking eyes with Dumbledore, willing the older wizard to interject with any form of dissent so that he could take it back. The Headmaster only smiled and nodded, "Indeed, thank you, Severus. Do keep me posted and let me know if I may help, yes?"

"Of course, Headmaster," Snape ground out. He sent one last look over Lupin and Black before snorting and storming out of the room.

Albus stood, the remaining occupants joining him. "Come," he motioned, plucking up the deed to 12 Grimmauld Place, "Let's get you home, hmm?"

12 Grimmauld Place was just as lackluster and decrepit as Sirius remembered it. Of course, in Sirius' mind his old family house was always dank and dreary. His mother's portrait still hung in the hallway where it always did and when the woman's eyes landed on him she shrieked loud enough to turn his hair white.

It was several vicious minutes of slander and biting words before Albus threw up a silencing charm for the hallway and shuffled them through. As soon as they passed the barrier the woman's voice was gone and left a ringing in their ears.

"It could use a decent cleaning," Albus quipped with a smile, shaking cobwebs and dust from his robe hem. "I'm sure if you ask Molly, she would be more than happy to pop in and help you in her free time."

Sirius gazed around himself in awe and disgust. He was caught up in memories of his past and didn't seem to hear what the Headmaster had said.

Lupin shuffled past them and upturned a kitchen chair, not even bothering to brush the crud from it before sitting down heavily. "I'm sure she would, Albus," his aching throat growled out. He tried to smile to take some of the effect of his voice out of it, but Albus didn't look worried and continued his circuit of the room.

"I appreciate help with this, Albus," Sirius finally came back to himself. He made a face as he upturned another two chairs and cleaned them roughly with the sleeve of his robe. "What can I do to return the favor?"

The Headmaster smiled lightly, eyes twinkling and sat down in the offered chair. "Well, Sirius, I am glad that you asked for it saves me the trouble with groveling."

"You could still grovel if you would like," Sirius grinned, propping his feet onto the tabletop.

"Until the floor is clean, I think I will forgo it," Dumbledore smiled back before clearing his throat. "I would like your permission to use your house as the new headquarters."

Sirius' feet dropped to the floor and he gaped. "You want them here?"

"I would," Albus nodded, "it is not a place that any know of but a handful, and all of those are members of the Order already. It would be quite beneficial to have a steady place for meetings instead of sending off letters that might be intercepted stating where the next meeting will be held. I will ward the house carefully, of course, to prevent any unwanted visitors from popping in. It is as much a refuge and hideout for you as it would be a safe-house and meeting place for the Order."

"I would be honored, Albus," Sirius said in all soberness. He wrinkled his nose as he looked around, "It will have to be cleaned nicely first of course."

"It makes no difference," Dumbledore shrugged, "The kitchen will be large enough and between the three of us, we could set it about right before I leave today."

"Bully!" Sirius stood and flung open cupboards, hacking as dust motes and webbing flew in all directions.

Albus smiled, relieved to see Sirius taking things so well. He turned his gaze to Remus and found the wolf practically sleeping upright, curled into himself and leaning against the table.

He left Sirius to his delirious cupboard sweeping and crossed to the den. The room was full of more dirt and webbing, the furniture coated in layers of dust. He withdrew his wand and cleaned the filth from the air and blew all the dirt and debris out of an open window. Smiling at his handiwork, Albus transformed a broken armchair into a bed. He made sure that though the room was not spotless, it was livable before returning to the kitchen.

"Take that dust bunny!" Sirius crowed as he entered, jabbing a pile of fluff with a stick and flicking it toward an already overflowing trash bin. Remus had since taken to watching his friend parade about.

"Show them no mercy, Padfoot," he whispered weakly, grinning as the ex-convict had far too much fun throwing things from the countertops.

Albus paused beside Lupin and rested a hand carefully on his uninjured shoulder. The werewolf looked up at him in curiosity. "Come with me, Remus, I think you could use a lay down."

Lupin shook his head and tried to deny it, but Albus had already pulled him to his feet and steered him into the den. A fresh bed with crisp linen and a thick mattress was too much to resist. The lycanthrope crossed the room on his own and sank shakily down into it without any further prodding.

Albus watched with sad eyes as he rolled onto his side to face the sunlight before whimpering as he fell asleep.

Sirius was standing on the table, yanking down webs with his hands when Dumbledore came back. He paused to blink down at him before continuing on. "Where have you two gone then?"

"I've put Remus down for a nap in the den across the hall." Dumbledore drew his wand and conjured a feather duster that twirled the webs around it. Sirius pouted as it whizzed by his head and took out the one he was stretching for.

"Good," Sirius nodded as he hopped from the table to the floor. He sighed softly, "He could probably use a decent rest and something hearty to eat. So long as Snape--"

"Severus is doing what he can to help, Sirius," Dumbledore interrupted. "Do not alienate him because of your schoolyard feuds, he is an intelligent man."

"Yea," Sirius hissed. Albus cleared his throat and Black nodded, his shoulders dropping in defeat. "Yes, Albus, I know. As long as he helps Remus and doesn't start with that snarky attitude..." Sirius trailed off and took a deep breath to calm himself. "I'll do what I can, but he has to be fair to Remus."

"I'll speak with him," Albus promised. "Now, let's get this room into shape, shall we?"

...oOo...

It took the better part of three hours to get the kitchen into useable conditions again. The countertops were clean and shiny, the cupboards cleared out, and old foods thrown to the compost pile.

Sirius was now the filthiest thing in the room. He was grinning from ear to ear, webs hanging from his hair, dust and soot smeared across his face. Albus was still spotless. "Wonderful, Albus!" Sirius ran a hand across the counter and stuck out his tongue as his hand left a mucky trail across the surface.

"There now, it isn't a bad start," Dumbledore admitted. He cleared away Sirius' smudge and walked across the hall to check on Remus. The werewolf was still sleeping heavily.

Black sidled up behind him and peeked at his friend. "I'll have to fix him something to eat." Sirius frowned as he thought about the fresh kitchen. "We haven't anything in our pantry."

"I'll send Fawkes with some packages when I return to Hogwarts," Albus reassured. "Kreacher is still somewhere in the house, Sirius. Perhaps you should try to find him and get him back into service."

Sirius made a face, "That damned house elf... He won't serve me Albus."

"Of course he will. It is his duty to the master of the house. And you, Sirius, are his new master." Albus turned from the den and shut the door behind him. "I'm going to put up a few temporary wards. Once I speak to other Order members we'll put in a team effort to put permanent wards into place."

"Thank you, Albus," Sirius said with all sincerity.

A sad smile crossed the Headmaster's face, "It is the least I can do."

Sirius watched as the Headmaster flooed away and took in the new silence of the old place. It was not long before the creeps began to take over and Sirius made his way into the den to sit near Remus. At least the wolf's ceaseless breathing broke the odd ambience and shook the old memories away.

He could not stay there forever, he knew, and reluctantly he began to search other rooms on the first floor. Remus was still sleeping and sick, therefore he didn't quite dare to tread upstairs and out of earshot should his friend need him.

The linen closets were full of moth-eaten sheets and mouse pills. What had been the point of having a damned house elf if it did not at least clean?

Two hours of heaving broken furniture and shuffling faded upholstery had left Sirius sweat soaked and itchy. Remus had only woken once during his belated spring cleaning to use the toilet. After he attempted to help Sirius move a small couch, and nearly breaking his foot by dropping it, Sirius sent him back to the make-shift bed to rest some more.

Fawkes had yet to come with any provisions and Sirius was starting to get a little worried. He didn't doubt that Albus would send what he promised, but he was hoping to have something whipped up for Remus before night fell.

Cleaning was out of the question for the rest of the night. Wild centaurs couldn't drag him into a filthy room and shove a broom into his hands. He popped into the den to check on Remus and found his friend sleeping fitfully in the slanting early evening sun.

With a sad sigh, Sirius pulled the door to and snagged a stale towel from the linen closet. He made it to the bathroom and cringed at the grime that littered the room. Perhaps it should have been high on the priorities list. Either way, it was too late now, so Sirius ignored it and dropped his clothing to the floor and climbed into the sticky shower to ease some of the sledge away.

When he closed his eyes, the greasy streaked walls disappeared and he could imagine he was in a Swiss spa where blonde natives were waiting to take him to a warm room for a massage. When the hot water ceased minutes later and iced him to the bone his fantasy was shattered. He left his clothes on the floor and wrapped his towel tightly at his hips. He was sure there must be some clothing upstairs. Sirius grimaced at the thought, not only would they probably be dirty as well, but he'd wind up wearing his father's clothing.

The door to the den was ajar when Sirius started down the hallway to check on Remus. He paused to push it open only to see it empty. Curious, he tried to think of where Remus would have gone when he heard soft talking.

The kitchen was the most obvious place and Sirius went there. Remus was sitting at the table, head bowed over a bowl.

"...I can't seem to sleep enough."

Sirius looked around the empty room and grew increasingly worried. Remus was talking to himself.

The animagus came forward and pulled a chair out beside his friend. Lupin blinked in sleepy surprise and smiled at him before lifting a spoon to his lips. What appeared to be beef stew half-filled the clay bowl.

"Moony, who are you ta--"

"It is all part of the process I imagine," a familiar voice interrupted. Sirius' head snapped around to the pantry and he watched in growing agitation as Severus Snape came strutting out with half a loaf of French bread in his hand. The potions master sneered at Sirius before dropping the bread onto the table in front of Remus.

"Thank you, Severus," Lupin mumbled, blowing on his broth and eating another bite.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius growled, gripping the tuck of his towel in his fist.

Snape cocked an eyebrow, "What I was told," he snarled cryptically.

Remus broke a piece of bread in his hands and dipped it into his bowl, "Albus sent Severus with some provisions, Sirius."

"And he cooked for you?" Sirius goggled, horrified as Remus took another large bite.

"He did not," Severus snapped in sarcasm. "That came from Molly. She's been filled in on the circumstances and immediately brewed that up. I am merely the lowly messenger."

"You were talking when I came in," Sirius redirected, more than a little relieved that Remus wasn't eating something that Severus had created, and done unspeakable things to.

"Yes," Remus nodded, "Severus believes to have made a little headway... at least he is stepping in the right direction."

"Good," Sirius mumbled, feeling his stomach tighten in hunger as he watched Lupin eat. "Where--"

"On the counter," Lupin supplied with a grin.

Snape scoffed as the animagus nearly toppled his chair getting up. "I have a lot of research to do, so I'll leave you flea-bitten mongrels to each other."

"Of course," Remus smiled. "Do you have any advice for me?"

Severus did a double take at the doorway. It wasn't the first time someone had asked his advice, but normally it consisted of whether or not to murder a certain muggle loving wizard or how to properly mush a toad's eye for maximum effect. "Not yet," he said with uncertainty. "Though I would not fight what your body wants. If you are tired, sleep. If you are hungry, eat."

"Alright. I'll see you soon, then, Severus."

Snape grunted and billowed out of the room.

Sirius sat down heavily with a large bowl of stew and devoured half of it before he looked up again. Remus was watching him bemused. "What?"

"Nothing, Sirius," The wolf smiled and offered up a chunk of bread. Sirius took it obligingly and broke it into pieces in his bowl. Remus shook his head, still smiling, and returned to his meal. "I appreciate you trying to get along with Severus."

"Yes, well..." Sirius waved his spoon with a sour face. "So long as he doesn't start anything I suppose I'll make do. He is trying to help after all." The animagus scowled into his bowl, wishing he didn't need to rely on the Death Eater spy at all.

Lupin's spoon hit the bottom of the bowl and he suppressed a yawn. "If you don't mind, Padfoot, I think I might have a lie down."

"Of course," Sirius got up as Remus did, his cooling stew forgotten. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm alright," the werewolf said softly, waving from the entry and disappearing into the den.

"Yea... alright." Sirius sat down and looked into his bowl. He found he didn't have much of an appetite anymore.


	5. NotSo Gentle Side of Severus Snape

When morning came, Sirius was sleeping in a cushioned chair in the den next to Remus' bed. He was still wrapped in his towel, though the tuck had come undone during the night and the towel had separated. Both of them were sleeping heavily when Sirius was rudely awakened by a shout.

"They're in here, Mum! Oh my..."

Sirius startled awake and blinked fuzzy eyes at the entry to see Ginny Weasley with wide eyes and gaping mouth. Molly's round face soon popped into the doorway behind her daughter and she let out a squeal as she quickly covered Ginny's eyes with her hands and steered her out of the room.

"Sirius Black, get some clothes on this instant!"

Still confused and blinking the sleep away, Sirius looked down at himself and let out his own squeal of alarm. He snugged up the towel, silently thanking whatever God was responsible enough to keep his privates still private, and pressed his ear to the door crack.

"I don't have any down here, Molly," his sleep roughened voice cracked. He heard Ginny giggle and Molly shoo her into the kitchen.

The door snapped open and bounced painfully off of his nose. The Weasley matriarch let out an 'oh!' of surprise and apologized. "I'll fetch you some then, shall I? And just so you know, I'll be locking this door," she said loudly, "to keep certain prying eyes away."

Ginny let out another giggle from the kitchen and Molly rolled her eyes. "Just be a moment, Sirius, wake Remus would you dear, we'll be having breakfast in a jiffy."

The door was pulled shut just as quickly as it was opened and Sirius shook his head as the door locked with a solid click.

He walked silently over to Remus and looked down at the sleeping wolf. Lines of worry creased his forehead. Lupin's color was off, looking more pale than yesterday. Carefully, Sirius rested his hand on the wizard's forehead and let out a small sigh of relief. Remus had no fever.

"Remy," he called softly, not in the least bit surprised that Molly's voice hadn't woken him. "Come on, Moony, breakfast is waiting."

Slowly, the wolf woke with a sigh and grunt. He smiled sleepily at Sirius and struggled to sit. The animagus offered him a hand and soon had him sitting upright.

"Did you say breakfast?" Remus grumbled, sleep laden voice deep and gravely from disuse.

"I certainly did," Sirius grinned, tossing the blankets aside and waiting poised and patient as Remus tried to stand. "Molly's here now, told me to wake you."

"I thought I may have heard her voice," Remus grunted but managed to stand on his own. "Goodness, it's certainly hot in here, isn't it?"

Sirius shrugged, he was only in a towel, but he wasn't cold. It was possible to a fully clothed wizard that it was a bit warm. "I wouldn't know," he grinned cheekily as Remus laughed and shrugged slowly out of his robe.

Stains of sweat circled the wolf's collar, arm pits and lower back. Sirius frowned deeply and restrained from touching his friend's forehead again. "Would you like a wash-up before eating?"

Remus grimaced and nodded, "I think that would be best."

"Alright, Remy me chum, a freezing cold shower and sandpaper towels await." Sirius waggled his eyebrows and tried to open the door, only to find it sealed. "Oh, right."

The werewolf gave him a curious look.

"Well, Molly's gone to fetch me some clothes you see..." Sirius trailed off, waving a hand idly at himself. Remus nodded in realization and leaned heavily against the wall as he laughed.

It wasn't long before the door-lock clicked and Molly called out a warning before she pushed the door in. "Here you are, Sirius. Please refrain from sleeping in the nude in future. I do have young eyes about you know," she huffed.

"Yes, mum," he saluted, taking away the small pile and shaking them open. His fathers, of course. He grimaced and began to dress.

"Good lord," Molly breathed in exasperation and turned away to shut the door. "Not a modicum of shame in that one," she called through the doorway.

Sirius grinned and zipped his fly, tugging the button-up shirt across his shoulders and pulling the door open. "There now, all done."

Ginny came around the corner with a mug in her hands and paused in the hallway, her face coloring brightly.

"Button up for goodness sake!" Molly shrieked, bustling off to chase Ginny into the kitchen.

"I'm not used to so many innocent eyes," Sirius mumbled, buttoning his shirt.

"Not so innocent any more I'm afraid," Remus chuckled to himself and walked from the room.

"Do you want any help?" Sirius asked quietly, not wanting to treat his friend like an inferior but putting his willingness out there just in case.

"Want any? No." Remus shook his head with a sigh. "Need help? That's a different story. I'll have a go myself first though if you don't mind."

"Not at all," Sirius put up a brave face as Remus entered the bathroom and shut the door.

It took a pitiful amount of time before Remus opened the door again--looking like a kicked puppy--and asked Sirius if he wouldn't mind assisting.

Sirius nodded solemnly, promising himself not to make a wisecrack and shut the door behind him. Remus had gotten his shoes and socks off, even managed to unbutton his shirt but couldn't bend around properly to pull it off.

"Here," Sirius motioned with his hand for Remus to turn around. The wolf complied and Sirius took hold of his collar and carefully shook it and pulled gently backward until it slipped from his friend's shoulders. The bite scar was puffy and raw, still not seeping but looking just as ugly as before.

"I think I can manage from here," Remus said softly, embarrassed and angry that he couldn't even undress himself.

"Sure," Sirius nodded, "I'll just be out--"

"Wait," Remus interrupted. "I," he swallowed audibly, "I might need help stepping up into the tub."

"Sure," Sirius parroted, turning toward the door to give the lycanthrope a bit of respect.

It took longer than it should have for the man to undo his pants and wriggle out of his boxers, but eventually he had managed himself. "Alright," Remus mumbled, stepping toward the tub.

Sirius turned back and bit his tongue. He had seen Remus half nude two nights before, and caught glimpses of him in passing as they traveled together before this sickness happened. All the glimpses didn't add up to what he saw now. His friend was emaciated, each rib razored his flesh. Old scars shone; from what, Sirius didn't know. He never asked about them and until Remus broached the subject, he would never ask.

"Here we are," Sirius pulled Remus' good arm across his shoulders and wrapped his free arm snuggly around the wolf's waist.

With a careful lift, Sirius swung Remus' feet over the lip of the tub, wincing as the spine under his arm popped and Remus grunted. Once Remus had his footing, Sirius let him go and took a step back. "Alright, there, Moony?"

Remus put a hand against the wall to stabilize himself. He didn't look at Sirius, but the animagus could see the blush rise in his friend's skin. "Yea, I'm fine. Could I--could I have some privacy now, please?"

"Of course," Sirius started, turning quickly to the door. "If you need anything--"

"I'll call, Sirius," Remus sighed. "Give me ten minutes."

"Sure, Remy, sure." Sirius pulled the door shut and leaned against it, listening to the inside as the water began to run.

Reluctantly, Sirius went to the kitchen and sat down heavily into a chair. He didn't notice the youngest Weasley as she colored up as she cooked beside her mother.

"Where's Remus?" Molly asked, humming softly as she worked.

"He's in the shower," Sirius mumbled.

"What's that dear?" Molly turned and paused as she looked across the kitchen to the animagus. Sirius looked on the verge of crying or vomiting, which was hard to tell. "Is it that bad?"

Sirius blinked up and shrugged, clearing his throat several times before he dared to speak. "I hope not," he twirled a cup between his hands, "but I think it is."

"Oh dear," Molly frowned sadly and turned back to her pans.

They went about their business in silence until Sirius couldn't take sitting around any longer and gathered a set of clothes for Remus and stood beside the bathroom with his ear pressed to the crack as he waited.

It was another five minutes until the water shut off. "Padfoot," Remus called from inside.

Sirius stiffened, "Here, Moony." His hand hovered over the doorknob until he heard Remus ask him in.

Remus had dried off and wrapped his waist in a towel much like Sirius had earlier. He tried to smile reassuringly but it slipped from his face.

"Molly's just about finished with breakfast, you have good timing," Sirius smiled, hoping it didn't look too fake as he helped Remus out of the tub. "I've got a change of clothes for you here."

"Thank you," Remus pawed through the clothes and took out a pair of underwear. "Would you--"

"Oh," Sirius' eyes widened, "I'll be in the hall if you need me."

Another round of waiting left Sirius tapping his foot. Remus opened the door, clothed completely from the waist down. He held out the dress shirt to Sirius reluctantly. Sirius took it from his fingers and snapped it open. With a bit of careful tugging, the shirt was pulled up onto Remus' shoulders with as little discomfort as possible.

Remus quickly buttoned the shirt up and followed Sirius into the kitchen.

"Just in time," Molly beamed, heaping two plates with food. Before the plates touched the table, identical Weasley twins came barreling into the room, snatching bacon from their mother's fry pan. "Get out of that!" She called, swinging a wooden spoon at them.

"Come on, Mum!" Fred cried.

"We're starvin' here!" George finished. Both clutched their stomachs and made pitiful noises.

"You ate before we got here," Molly sighed, setting the plates down in front of Remus and Sirius.

"But we're growing, lads." Fred mentioned.

"Yea, we need the nutrients or you'll stunt our growths!" George nodded his agreement, distracting his mother with his theatrics so that his twin could snag some toast and bacon from their dishes.

"You two are already growing like weeds," Molly rolled her eyes. Without turning around she brandished her spoon and snapped it soundly onto the palm of her hand. "Fredrick if you don't return that to the plate this instant I'll have you both cleaning the attic!"

Fred's hands snapped open and dropped the food back where it came from. He quickly skirted around his mother so that he stood beside George. He clutched at his heart, George quickly pantomiming his twin.

"You wound me. How awful it is to have an untrusting mother," he cried, touching the back of his hand to his forehead.

With a heavy sigh and shaking her spoon at them, Molly pointed at the door. "To the second floor, both of you! No goofing around." The two saluted smartly and retreated to the stairs. Molly followed them to the hallway and called up, "I'll be checking up on you two!"

"Those two, we'll be lucky if they don't make more of a mess," Molly sighed and sat down with a cup of tea.

Remus was picking at his food, smiling at the boys' antics. Sirius had nearly devoured his mound, laughing between bites.

"Would you like some more tea?" Ginny asked innocently, trying to be a help and already holding the pot in her hands.

"Thank you, Ginny," Remus nodded, pushing his cup and saucer toward her. She smiled brightly and topped off his cup before she looked up at Sirius.

"Just a spot more," Sirius winked, chewing noisily. Ginny blushed and filled his cup, nearly overflowing it.

"Alright," Molly said sternly, taking the pot gently from her daughter's hands. "Go on upstairs and help your brothers. We have a lot to do."

Ginny nodded, rushing from the room and tromped up the stairs two at a time.

"For goodness sake, Sirius, do try to behave. That girl won't be good for anything if you keep it up," Molly carded her fingers through her hair.

"Sorry, Molly, I couldn't resist." Sirius grinned as he finished his meal. Molly took his plate to the sink and set the dishes to cleaning themselves.

"I'll go check on those boys. Ron and Arthur should be by soon," Molly informed them as she slipped away.

Sirius shook his head, it was really good to see a normal family around Grimmauld Place. Perhaps a few days of the Weasley's adding their touch would clear away some of the drear and dread of the place.

Remus set his fork down beside his plate and rested his forehead in his palms. Sirius frowned. The werewolf had barely eaten anything. "Are you feeling alright, Remus?"

"Bit of headache," the wolf mumbled, pushing his plate away.

"Do you want me to get you something?"

"No, that's alright," Remus gave him a grimaced smile, "I think it's fading already."

Sirius didn't look convinced, but he nodded. "Feel like helping the others clean?"

Remus frowned, "I don't think I can handle the stairs," he admitted softly.

"Well, there's still plenty down here to do. If you want to help, you certainly don't have to." Sirius rambled.

"Of course," Remus waved his hand. "I want to help, Sirius. I can't sleep all the time."

Sirius nodded, smiled and stood up. "Well, what should we tackle first?"

"That horrific bathroom, I think," Remus smiled.

Sirius wrinkled his nose, "I agree. Shall we?"

Remus answered by standing up and making his way to the bathroom. Sirius followed, carefully noting how little Remus ate and promising to keep an extra keen eye on his friend.

...oOo...

When they all broke for lunch, Arthur and Ron had arrived and made innocently smart-mouthed comments about how dirty they all were.

Remus sat propped against the table, looking exhausted but refusing to take a rest. Sirius and Molly both took long glances at him, waiting for him to keel over onto the tabletop.

The morning's embarrassment had passed and Ginny was happily chatting away with her father about all of the odd things she had found in the upstairs rooms.

"Bill sent a letter," Ron told the lot of them happily. He distracted the whole of the Weasley clan by spouting off the contents word for word from memory. Sirius took the time to quietly ask Remus if he was feeling alright.

The werewolf looked indignant for a moment before sighing heavily, his face crumpling in defeat. He cleared his throat and shook his head reluctantly. Sirius pursed his lips tightly and helped lever his friend up from the table among several quick looks from the Weasley's. Thankfully, not one of them said a word and Sirius had to practically drag Remus across the hall into the den.

Remus was fitfully asleep only moments after Sirius laid him out and pulled the covers up. He stared down at the wizard for a long time, praying to any deities that would listen to help his friend get better, and fast.

Finally, he turned away and shut the door quietly behind him, setting up a silencing charm to keep outside noises from waking up Remus; but allowing any noise from the inside out in case the lycan needed anything.

The room grew instantly quiet as Sirius returned alone and looking wounded. He sat down heavily and Molly sat a short glass half full of whisky in front of him. He looked up at her in curiosity but took the drink in one hard pull. He coughed and rubbed at the burning in his chest as he set the glass down.

"Thanks," he growled out between wheezing coughs.

"You looked like you needed it," Molly smiled gently. "Not that you will drink often," she chastised quickly. "You need to be in the right frame of mind to take care of him."

"I know," Sirius nodded, then as an after-thought, "I won't."

"What's wrong with him?" Arthur asked gently, catching a scathing look from his wife.

"It's alright, Molly," Sirius held up a hand. "We don't really know. It's all theory yet. All we can be sure of, is that it has to do with his other side."

Molly took in a short breath and held it, nodding silently. Most of the children looked a little confused, unsure of what they just learned but too shy to ask. Arthur looked pensive. "Who's doing the research?"

Molly threw him another reproachful look and her husband shrugged.

Sirius smiled a little at them, before he grimaced. "Snape."

"Severus," Molly's eyes widened. She appeared in thought before nodding tightly. "Good."

"Good?!" Sirius snapped, instantly calming himself as the children in the room flinched. "I don't see the good in it," he tried again with restraint.

"You lot go upstairs and get back to work," Arthur told them quietly. They all shuffled away quickly. Sirius was awed at how quickly the brood snapped to attention when their father spoke softly; it worked far better than if their mother screamed at them until she was blue in the face. As soon as the children were safely upstairs, Arthur turned back to the conversation. "Severus is a bit abrasive--"

Sirius snorted loudly and opened his mouth to retort but the hard look Molly sent him made him clack his mouth shut.

"Professor Snape is a good man, Sirius, regardless of what you think. He's also very diligent when asked to help. He doesn't seem like it, but he's eager to please." Molly finished her husband's thought, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Eager to please?" Sirius laughed, "More like eager to betray! Why is everyone so quick to come to that man's--and I use the term loosely-- rescue?!"

"Sirius, you've been gone for some time," Arthur tried carefully. "You've missed the trials and time and effort Severus has put in trying to prove himself. He doesn't do it boldly, it's subtle, but he does try."

Sirius looked unimpressed. Molly sat down beside him and put her hand on his arm. "Alright, Sirius. Regardless of how you feel about him, Severus is all you have right now. Hopefully you won't be jaded enough to ignore how hard he will try. It wouldn't do to push the man out when he's your only help."

"I know," Sirius ground out through clenched teeth. "And believe me or not, but I am trying. Luckily he hasn't been around enough to ruin it."

Molly rolled her eyes heavenward and shook her head. Arthur laughed lightly at them both. "Very well, I do say there's more to do. Sirius, I'm sure Molly could use some help sorting through things upstairs. It's hard to tell what you might want to keep."

"But Remus is down here, I don't want to be out of earshot if he wakes up."

"Don't worry, Black. I'm sure I'll be able to hear from the kitchen."

Sirius prickled and turned in his chair to glare at Severus Snape who stood in the entryway. "I think you can shove that idea up your--"

"I think that works out well," Molly interrupted loudly. "Come along Sirius," and she grasped the animagus roughly by the shirt collar and dragged him from the room.

Severus smirked, watching as Sirius was hauled bodily up the stairs by the Weasley matriarch. "You might want to invest in a leash and muzzle for that one," he called up after them, turning happily back to the kitchen when Sirius let out a howl of anger from the second floor landing.

Arthur sighed heavily as Snape came in, but he didn't comment about it. He watched quietly as Severus took a package from his pocket and engorged it with his wand before unwrapping it. A selection of various potions and other oddities were inside.

"I hear you've been delegated to help Remus." Arthur said quietly, giving the potions master a little smile as he looked up from his work.

"Unfortunately," Severus answered with a sneer.

"He couldn't be in better hands, then," Arthur said lightly as he made his way out of the kitchen and upstairs to help his wife and children.

Snape watched the man go with carefully guarded eyes before chuffing through his nose and returning to his work. A series of potions were lined carefully along the tabletop, followed closely with a set of notes and then a well-worn book. From the bottom of the package, Severus withdrew a small, personal journal.

He checked off each potion on a piece of note parchment and opened a nearby cupboard, lining them up in the same order they had been in on the table. On the inside of the cabinet door, Snape pinned another piece of parchment with a set of spidery instructions on it.

He returned to the table, book and journal waiting and sat down to continue with his research.

Snape had been through the library's stacks and come up with the same few, pitiful books as before. After surveying his funds in Gringott's, he took out an ample sum and went searching along Knocktrun Alley. He scared the wits out of several Apothecaries as he promised swift retribution if they did not get in the herbs and other potions ingredients he demanded on time, before putting the fear of God into several other bookstore shops.

It took very little time until Severus had gotten a response from three of the shops. They had ordered the books he wanted, and would he kindly come retrieve them promptly once they arrived.

What he wanted was not entirely illegal according to current wizarding law. He had worked the fastest and hardest he could when faced with this mystery, and he was not left wanting. Snape got in touch with Lance Scorch's family, asking for whatever work their forefather had left behind. Thankfully, the family was willing to give Snape everything they had. No one besides their great grandfather had had any interest in lycanthropy and after years of others coming to them for all their werewolf needs, they were only too happy to be able to tell the nitpickers that they no longer owned the works.

After Scorch's paperwork--bought for a hefty sum-- Severus found another reputable resource from an old wolf pack. The lot of them refused to hear him out as soon as he found them. The old alpha sat back, watching the youngers under him deal with the outsider until Snape said the words 'Lupus Disvestare Apostasis'. A shocked growl left the old man's mouth and the whole pack fell silent immediately. The alpha quickly granted their knowledge to be shared only if Severus promised to use the information and return it to them.

In order to take the documentation, Snape had to leave something valuable behind him. He returned to his vaults and brought them the only thing that ever meant anything to him; a badly bound original edition book on beginning magical defense. The first book he had ever gotten, and the only one that survived his father's wrath.

The young pack pups laughed when he brought it to them, scoffing and refusing to allow the trade. The alpha stood for the first time since Severus had been with them and they all fell to the side and silent. He took the book reverently from Snape's hands and smiled as he looked at it. "It has seen love and use," he spoke quietly with a deep rumble. The pups tittered and he held up a hand to quell them. "It is acceptable." He motioned for the others to bring their trade item and Severus took the heavy tome into careful hands. The alpha smiled knowingly and nodded, returning to his seat with the book on his lap.

Severus turned to leave but panic gripped him and he had to stop and take a deep breath. He looked over his shoulder and the old man met his gaze with his steady one. "I will keep it safe with me." The pups looked confused but nodded solemnly when their alpha looked down at them. Severus left quickly before he could lose his nerve.

The other books were sent for from various sources outside of England.

One from Russia where the first pack family to ever be recorded had written a series of books. They did not get popular as the family had hoped, but they were full of relevant life information that Snape knew would be invaluable. Unfortunately, without multiple production, he could only find the first volume and should it prove useful, he would have to contact the family for other editions.

Another text from Germany where a pioneering wizard spent three years in the life of a pack though he was not a lycanthrope himself. The book focused on the 'berserker' mode of life and hunting that some wolves took.

The last was from North America, also old and carefully bound, written in foreign languages. It was the written documentation of lycanthropy in the eyes of the Navajos. The book was a compilation of works that all spoke of werewolves and other beasts that roamed across ancient North America, well before white Europeans decided to traipse toward the continent. A good section of the book was written entirely about the use of specific herbs and plants that the Navajo burnt to keep lycanthropes at bay in the night. That, if nothing else, was wholly intriguing to Snape.

Now, finally sitting down with the pack's book for the first time, Severus began to skim through it to match what he could and possibly find more references to use.

Of course, his best intentions were foiled by a low keening moan from across the hall. Cursing his luck, Snape stood and crossed the hall, pushing open the door and waiting to see if Lupin was awake or simply dreaming.

The wolf wasn't awake, per se, but he was certainly not dreaming. Remus was on his back, face crumpled in pain and clawing uselessly at his shoulder. Severus quickly strode in to stop him before he tore himself open.

"Lupin, wake up," he said sternly, grasping the wizard's wrist to haul his hand away. The man growled deeply in his throat, beastly and eerie. Severus released him and stepped back, heart leaping into his throat. "Lupin," he spat.

The lycan jerked awake, the growling stopping just as abruptly. Remus' rough breathing smoothed out and he blinked amber eyes at the ceiling before looking over at Snape. "Severus?"

"You were clawing at yourself," Severus explained stiffly, still at a safe distance.

"I was?" Remus started to sit up, but as soon as he set weight onto his left shoulder he winced and fell backward, quickly cupping his shoulder with his hand.

Biting his tongue to keep from saying something snappish to cover his fear, Severus stepped forward with resolve and began to unbutton Remus' shirt. The werewolf blinked in surprise, but was too slow to react and Snape had the shirt undone and pushed aside before he thought to stop him.

"Move your hand, Lupin," the potions master ordered quietly. He peeled back the shirt and scowled. "Get up." Remus blinked up at him in confusion. "Up, Lupin, up!" Snape took hold of him, drawing the wizard up from the bed. Lupin bit his tongue to keep from crying out and followed after Snape.

They wound up in the kitchen where Severus pointed at a chair and busied himself in a cabinet. "Take off your shirt," Snape snapped, returning to the table with a small vial. Remus, still half out of the waking world, blinked fuzzily at him. "The shirt, Lupin, take it off."

Nodding, Remus tried to shrug out of it and hissed in pain, inches away from clutching at his shoulder again. Severus sighed heavily in irritation from behind him and Remus stiffened in panic, expecting Snape to bodily remove him from his clothes.

It was with some surprise that Remus breathed a little easier when Snape carefully peeled the shirt away and flung it onto the tabletop.

"Hold still, this is going to hurt," Snape said in his stern lecture voice. In a quiet tone Remus almost didn't hear, he added, "A lot."

The vial from the table was plucked up in Severus' thin fingers, and moments later the contents were dribbled into the crescent bite mark on both sides of his shoulder. Snape was right. It was as though liquid silver had been poured into his wounds and Remus let out a scream that could wake the dead.

Before he could touch the shoulder, Severus had clamped his arms tightly to his sides, chin clamped tightly on Lupin's right shoulder and both arms wrapped tightly around his waist; effectively pinning his arms in place.

As soon as one scream ended, Lupin drew in a ragged breath and let out another. His throat was raw, his lungs burning but his shoulder felt like it was being torn from the socket. No matter how hard he struggled to loose Snape, the potions master had a firm hold and didn't give him an inch. It probably helped Severus that Remus was weakened and half starved.

It did not take long for the whole upstairs crew to barrel into the kitchen. Sirius' eyes were ablaze with fury and it took him no time to cross the room, his gaze intent on Severus. Remus panicked, knowing that even though Severus had caused this pain, he was preventing him from hurting himself.

Taking in another breath, he forcibly stopped screaming nonsensically and bit out, "Don't Sirius! No!"

Both Severus' and Sirius' eyes widened. Remus shook his head violently from side to side as the animagus took another step forward, repeatedly he butted the side of Severus' face with his skull.

"What is going on?!" Molly shrieked, trying to push the children out of the room and having no success.

Remus bit his tongue as the pain ebbed and flared again. Tears ran down the sides of his face and tried to tell them it was fine but knew if he opened his mouth he would scream enough to shatter the windows.

"Treatment," Severus grunted, breathing hard as he clamped down again as Remus struggled.

"Treatment?!" Sirius yelled, overturning chairs in his path. He got close enough to stare straight into Snape's face and curled his hands into fists. "I have half a mind to--"

"NO!" Remus growled out, his throat working to form the word through the bestial grunt. Blood trickled down from the corner of his lips, down his neck and chest and seeped into Severus' robe sleeves.

After an eternity of pain, it stopped just as suddenly as it came on and Remus sagged gratefully into Severus' hold. The potions master drew away quickly when he realized and carefully checked over Remus' shoulder, ignoring the strange looks and flying questions.

"I doubt that much screaming comes from a decent treatment," Sirius was fuming, holding himself in check by mere threads.

Snape ignored his comment and pressed around the edge of the scar with his thumb. Remus stiffened in surprise and rolled his head on the shoulder to see what he was doing. "What was it?" He asked in gasping breaths.

"A concoction I read about in theory. It took me ten hours of brewing and several batches of failure within the first few minutes to make." Snape reached past Lupin and pulled his journal toward him along with the loose pieces of parchment and his quill. He began to write quickly, periodically checking the bite mark and prodding carefully at it.

"A theory?" Sirius' eyes widened. "You mean you didn't even know if this would work?"

Snape's quill stopped scratching and he glared at him through his swaying hair. "I still do not know if it did."

"You son of bitch!" Sirius started back down the length of the table, intent on braining the dark wizard.

"Shut your filthy mouth," Severus hissed, his ebony eyes were blazing. "You have no right to speak of my mother."

Sirius grinned viciously and opened his mouth.

"Sirius, don't," Remus croaked, gently running his fingertips around the rough edge of the scar. He turned his gaze to Severus and cleared his throat. "What is it supposed to do?"

Snape took several slow, deep breaths before answering. "It prevents the wound from getting infected while allowing it to remain open. There's a long term pain reliever naturally made within the potion and should numb most of the pain. It's lycan specific."

"Why wouldn't you heal it?" Arthur piped in from the entry, blushing slightly when everyone looked at him.

"Part of Lupin's problem is psychosomatic. Healing it would do nothing, it would only open again. This way it stays clean and healthy until Lupin's comes out of this..." Snape waved his hand at him, unable to think of the proper word. "This."

"Why didn't you test it?" Sirius asked angrily, trying to remain calm.

"Excuse me, Black. I must have forgotten to ask one of my many werewolf colleagues to assist me." Severus sneered, returning to his paperwork.

"It's fine," Remus waved his hand dismissively as Sirius opened his mouth. "All of this is entirely new. We won't know what works if we don't try."

After a few minutes of only Snape's quill scratching to break the silence, the potions master finally put his papers away. He straightened and looked over everyone, everyone but Lupin was watching him.

"Well, since you are all here," Snape walked to the cupboard and pointed at the layers of potions that lined the shelf. "These have been created specifically for lycanthrope use. No one but Lupin is to take them. Some are pain relievers, others sleeping aids. They have no silver in them, have not been strained through silver grating, and have been altered for such. They are marked so even you can't confuse them, Black."

"Thank you, Severus," Lupin said softly. It was oddly touching that the man went so far out of his way to make him comfortable.

The potions master fidgeted, nodding stiffly in response. He cleared his throat, "There are dosing instructions written on the parchment here. For those of you with dubious reading ability," he pointedly looked at Sirius and smirked slightly, "the usual rules apply. Do not take something if you don't need it. Do not double dose. If you run low on something, let me know before you run out so that you have it when you need it."

The room remained quiet after Snape stopped speaking. He ignored them again and returned to prodding at Remus. The lycan sat still through it, grunting now and then.

"It appears to be working," the potions master mumbled to himself. To Remus he continued, "Mark down any side effects of the potion. It should not do anything than what it already has. New pain or returning pain, infection, anything else that seems abnormal, I want you to write it down and tell me immediately."

"Of course," Remus nodded.

"What if what you've given him prevents him from writing it down?" Sirius asked, partly accusatory.

"Then I suggest you floo me immediately since he will likely be screaming his fool head off or will be half dead," Severus quipped. "Write it down," he reiterated.

"What is this?" Molly asked quietly, flipping idly through a dog-eared book.

Snape's eyes widened in panic and he gently took the woman's hands in one of his and closed the book delicately. "It is borrowed and very fragile."

"Sorry, Severus," Molly smiled, taking back her hands. "Is it very important?"

"I think it has some merit," he said carefully. "But it is not mine and irreplaceable."

"Perhaps we should get ready to go home, kids," Arthur said conversationally. The sun was starting to go down and the lot of them were surprised to see how late it had gotten.

"Would you like me to make something before I leave?" Molly asked politely.

"I'm sure we can manage," Sirius reassured her, following the whole group to the door.

Severus and Remus were left alone to stare at each other. Remus took up his shirt from the table and was able to pull it on by himself--albeit very carefully. He smiled lightly to himself at his accomplishment.

"Where did you borrow the book from, Severus? I was under the impression that there was nothing of any merit nearby."

Snape was pensive and he carefully put his texts and paperwork together. "There aren't."

Remus smiled a little. Severus always was a man of few words. The crest on the front cover looked vaguely familiar and Remus had to think hard to remember where he had seen it before. His eyes widened in realization. "You went to the McLeod pack."

"Not anymore," Snape said bluntly. "They had an uprising several years ago. The new alpha is a Kasabian."

"Either way, Severus, that was terribly dangerous. I can't believe they let you borrow it, just like that." Remus shook his head in awe. Severus said nothing and the werewolf watched him carefully. "They didn't just let you have it." Still the wizard said nothing. Remus nodded to himself.

Sirius returned then, looking sour and defunct. "When are you leaving?"

"Now." Snape tapped the neat pile with his wand and the brown paper they were wrapped in neatly folded itself back around them. He shrunk the package and quickly pocketed it.

Sirius scowled after Snape's retreating back and sat down in the chair across from Remus as the front door slammed shut.

"That man," Sirius huffed, hands curled into claws in front of him as though he were choking a ghost.

"That man is doing some very stupid things," Remus admitted. Sirius looked highly amused. "All because he's trying to help."

"Humph," Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in the chair. "I don't want to talk about him. What do you want to eat?"

"Something light," Remus smiled a little, thankful that Sirius wasn't brooding.

"Coming up," Sirius popped up from the chair and set about making them a meal. As he cooked, he spoke about the multitude of oddities the Weasley's had turned up during their cleaning. Old memories crept in and before long they were eating omelets and toast and laughing about their school days.

"...James didn't grow back that eyebrow for weeks," Sirius wheezed, laughing over his plate and banging his fist on the table.

Remus was holding his stomach and grinning like a fool. "He told Lily it was from a duel."

"He didn't!" Sirius gaped before bursting again. He sobered slowly and smiled sadly, "God I miss that man."

Remus nodded somberly, "Me too." He pushed the remains of his meal around the plate with his fork. A troubling memory kept coming to mind but no matter how he tried to ignore it, the thought wouldn't leave him be. He frowned harshly and dropped the fork to his plate. "Merlin, Severus," he whispered.

Sirius grimaced, "What about him?"

"Eh?" Remus' head snapped up and he blinked in surprise.

"What about Snape?" Sirius looked accusatory.

Remus sighed heavily, "Nothing." Sirius opened his mouth to ask again but Remus slammed his fists onto the table, making the dishes jump and indenting the wood. His honey-toned eyes flashed amber and he snarled, "It's nothing!"

The animagus sat very still and nodded, watching as Remus came back to himself. The wolf closed his eyes tightly and stood from the table.

"I'm sorry, Sirius," he whispered before crossing the room and shutting himself into the den.

Sirius cleared away the dishes, dropping them into the sink and running a hand down his face. He returned to the table, pushing in his chair and then Remus'. He paused to run his fingers over the dents in the wood where Remus' fists connected. Lupine strength in his human form was not unknown. Sirius could remember a scant handful of times that he had seen it.

The times before were violent angry times, not simple things like this. Directly after graduation Sirius had been cornered by a pack of Slytherin's--spurred on by his own brother and cousin. Remus had come out of nowhere. He had lifted Regulus completely over his head and thrown him bodily half a block down the street. Sirius had been bleeding and nearly unconscious but Remus had chased off the whole lot of them quickly enough in time for the animagus to grin weakly and sputter, "Brilliant," before he passed out.

Another memorable time Sirius was present for was after James and Lily's deaths. Remus had mourned quietly by himself during the day. When the night fell, the whole of the Weasley (Molly rushing to keep Bill and Charlie asleep) house woke up abruptly to a howl of rage in the garden. They watched from inside the house as Remus literally tore their maple tree out of the ground and threw it out of the yard. Afterward, the normally complacent man fell to his knees between the sweet peas and the carrots and wept.

It was only a few days later, when Sirius was accused and caught, that the lycanthrope destroyed his makeshift home with his bare hands. Albus found him the next morning laying huddled in the debris in a near coma from emotional fatigue.

Sirius put out the kitchen light and opened the den door. Remus was already asleep, still clothed and on top of his covers. The animagus sighed unhappily and left him to rest.


	6. A Safe, Safehouse

Remus groaned as he tossed about on his mattress. The window curtains were twitching and the sweet smell of freshly mown hay blew in on the breeze. His mother came in a moment later, a bowl of cool water in her hands and a rag tossed across one shoulder.

"Shh," she soothed, touching his forehead with her hand. She frowned at the heat that came from her son's skin.

An eight year old Remus turned into his mother's touch, the cool of his mother's hands soothing. She damped a rag and ran it across his face. He shivered and mewled in discomfort as his skin felt as though it flared hotter to make up for the chill.

The moonlight fell across the foot of his bed and Remus felt his body wrack with spasms as the light touched his toes. His mother screamed, dropping the bowl onto the floor where it shattered and spilled water across the floorboards.

In a matter of moments, his father stumbled in. "What is it?" He was disheveled, glasses askew and robe unbelted.

His mother threw herself across her son's body, trying to hold him down as he began to scratch at himself. "Help me!" She wept, pleading to her husband. The man drew his wand from within his pocket and pointed it at their son. Rage filled his mother's docile face. "What are you doing?"

"Move away," his father came forward, tugging his mother arm and pulling her up. Remus screamed.

She jerked out of his hold and pulled Remus to her chest, shushing him and pushing his father away with her free arm. "Stay away from my son," she shrieked, cradling the boy's head to her shoulder.

"Come away, Naurice," His father shouted. "Hurry!"

Remus forgot himself, his skin felt like it was being ribboned from his body in slow strips. He arched off of the bed, screaming and grasped hold of what he could. His mother screamed, horrified and in pain.

His father grabbed her, hauling her from the bed. She came away easily, too shocked to resist and cradled her arm to her stomach. Blood soaked her bedclothes and spattered to the floor. Remus came off of the bed reaching for her, sobbing and petrified.

His father jabbed his wand forward, a jet of yellow light hitting him in the chest and knocking him back to the bed. Remus howled as he fell.

The door slammed shut as his parents left and he heard the door lock shut. Remus sobbed into his pillows, staring in horror at his own fingers as they curled into claws. As he sniffled, he lapped the blood from the pads of his hands.

...oOo...

Remus woke to a hand on his shoulder. He rolled violently to the side of his bed and retched.

"Oh!" A soft, feminine voice cried out.

He emptied his stomach of last night's eggs and toast, weeping into his pillow and spitting the taste from his mouth.

"Merlin, Remus are you alright?" A small hand was rubbing tentative circles into his back. "Sirius!"

Remus turned watery eyes up, unable to focus on the wavering bubble-gum pink hair. He tried to answer but wound up bent over the bed frame dry heaving instead. The woman jumped back in alarm again. "Sirius!"

Sirius banged loudly into the room, thick hair pleated down his back with a bucket in one hand and cleaning rag in the other. "Jesus! What happened?"

As the two talked quickly, Remus tried to roll back onto the bed and wished for the images of his mother's face to fade from his mind. When he finally came around several minutes later, his vomit had been cleared away and Sirius was sitting beside him, clutching his upper arm and staring intently.

"Are you alright now, Moony?"

Remus looked from Sirius' face to Nymphadora Tonks who stood back looking worried and pale, her thin hands twisting together. "I--" Remus choked, eyes welling again to his great mortification. "Mum," he gasped before shaking his head violently and jerking out of Sirius' hold as the man tried to gather him up.

"I'm so sorry," Tonks was saying over and over. Her eyes kept changing color with each blink as she tried to fight her emotions.

"No," Remus shook his head. He waved his hand at her and tried to smile, "'S'okay."

"I'll get you some tea, eh?" Sirius said quietly from the foot of the bed. He looked hurt from his rejection and quickly left.

Tonks twitched, unsure of herself. "They said you weren't feeling well," she said lamely, actually slapping herself in the forehead and muttering afterward. "I came to help set up the new wards," she smiled, liking that sentence much better.

"Good," Remus cleared his throat, thankful for a change of topic. "I imagine that's going to take a few people."

"Oh, just a few," she promised, shoving her hands into her pockets.

Sirius returned with a cup and offered it to his friend. Remus took it, sipping carefully from the rim as his stomach clenched. When he had half of the cup gone, Sirius sat down with a soft sigh. "Tonks says you were having a nightmare."

Lupin let free a depreciative laugh as he stared down into the dregs of his tea. "You could say that."

"I-I didn't know if I should wake you or not," Tonks bit her lip, "but I couldn't stand to see you struggling like that."

"I appreciate it, Tonks, honestly," Remus sighed heavily. "It wasn't something I wanted to relive again."

Tonks had a questioning look on her face but wisely kept quiet. Sirius looked crestfallen, only imagining what Hell Remus had dreamt of.

"How about we get you up and refreshed, eh? We'll have a houseful soon."

"Sure," Remus mumbled, setting his feet on the floor and standing up with several snaps and pops. Sirius stood to offer a hand and Remus frowned deeply. "I can manage, thank you."

Tonks and Sirius watched as their friend left with slow shuffling feet. Sirius sagged in defeat when Remus shut the bathroom door soundly. "I don't know what I've done," he confided to the metamorphogus.

"He's going through something rough, Sirius, don't take it personally." The pink-haired woman slung an arm across Sirius' shoulders.

Sirius sighed heavily and nodded, straightening himself up, "You're right."

"There now, that's more like the Sirius Black I know," She grinned widely. "Nice apron by the way."

The animagus looked down and laughed, he still had the stained rag wrapped around him. "It's a filthy job trying to clean up this wreck. You could get a little dirty yourself if you wanted." He waggled his eyebrows and gave her a wolfish smile.

Tonks snorted and cuffed one of his ears. "In your dreams, Black," she scoffed as she walked away from her cousin toward the kitchen.

"And what dreams they are," he called, grinning to himself.

...oOo...

It was nearing one o'clock when other members of the Order started popping in with frequency. Mad Eye Moody was sitting at the table playing solitaire since Tonks and Kingsley Shacklebolt refused to play any card games with him.

"You can't help cheating," Tonks pouted, levitating the teapot carefully from across the room.

"I do not," Mad Eye huffed, his mechanical eye whirling about in its socket.

"Liar," Tonks prodded, sticking her tongue out of the corner of her mouth in concentration as the teapot wobbled. Slowly it started toward the table when the hallway portrait of Mrs. Black screamed and startled her. The teapot fell to the floor with a crash, spilling hot water across the stones.

Sirius' form blurred by the kitchen doorway as he bound for the portrait. A screaming match between mother and son ensued for several minutes until someone had the clever idea to draw the curtains shut.

The animagus stomped into the kitchen and flopped angrily into a chair. Albus Dumbledore soon followed with a jovial smile to everyone. Behind him came a sour faced Severus Snape.

"I dare say that woman has more spirit now than she had alive," Albus quipped as he withdrew a singularly wrapped sweet from the folds of his robes.

"Then what I need is an exorcism," Sirius mumbled, too defunct to notice the grins his statement brought to the faces around the table.

"Molly and Arthur are on their way," the Headmaster informed them as he quickly cleared up the watery mess and refilled the kettle with a flick of his wand. Tonks sighed unhappily and returned her wand to her pocket.

"Good, then we can get this ward business out of the way," Moody grumped, slapping a card down onto the table.

The kettle soon whistled and Albus generously poured everyone a cup. He had an extra on the table and blinked about the room with a cross look. "Where is Remus this afternoon?"

Sirius sighed heavily from his seat and Tonks gave him an apologetic smile. "He's holed up in the den with a couple of books," she supplied. When Albus cocked his head to the side she quickly set her teacup back down and answered his unasked question. "He's had a bit of a rough morning."

"Any problems with the potion?" Severus interrupted, finally looking interested in the conversation.

"You'll have to ask Mr. I-can-do-it-myself-thank-you," Sirius grumbled.

"Trouble in paradise, Black?" Snape sneered, turning away from them and stalking into the den with a bang before Sirius could respond.

As the door slammed open, Remus jumped and the book fell from his hands and onto the floor. "Good lord, Severus," he frowned.

"Avoiding people, Lupin?"

"No," the werewolf grumbled, retrieving his book with a grunt. "I just don't seem to be of much use."

"Don't sulk, it's hardly becoming of a man your age," Severus sneered. He stayed near the entry, eyeing the other wizard from afar. "Have you had any reactions to the potion?"

"None that I've noticed," Remus answered after a moment of thought. "It's quite nice actually." Snape raised an eyebrow as though it asked the question for him. Lupin elaborated, "Before, it hurt so bad I couldn't move it, I needed help getting dressed or undressed. I can do it on my own now."

"Good," Severus said stiffly, "don't overdo it. Just because it doesn't hurt doesn't mean it's healed."

"I know," Remus nodded irritably. He thumbed through the book in his hands to return to his spot. He began to read, aware that Severus was still in the room. After a few minutes, the potions master scoffed. Remus glared up at him through his bangs. "What?" He snapped.

"You've gotten rather waspish," Snape replied. He smirked a little, "How very... Slytherin of you." He left to return to the others while Remus sat gaping.

The others in the kitchen were making small talk when Severus got back to them. Molly and Arthur had just arrived and were removing their traveling robes.

"It's started to rain," Arthur said happily, shaking the rain from his cloak. "Not bad yet, mind, but if we need to do any wards from outside, I'd suggest we do it quickly."

Albus munched on a biscuit and nodded, "I think we'd best get started then." He set the uneaten half of the cookie onto his saucer and motioned for Kingsley and Mad Eye to join him. The three men gathered their robes together and left through the back door and into the small garden. Severus and Arthur joined them a moment later.

Molly sat down across from Tonks and poured her own cup of tea. "How are things going here, then? I hope you had a good night's sleep, Sirius."

"Mine was fair enough," the animagus offered her the plate of biscuits. "Remus, however..."

"Poor thing," Molly smiled sadly. "Where is he?"

"Behind you," Remus said softly from the doorway. Sirius straightened, torn between being indignantly rude or offering his friend an arm. The werewolf smiled guiltily at him, "It's alright, Sirius. I, uh, wanted to apologize."

"It's alright, Remy," Sirius sighed softly in relief.

"No it's not," Remus came forward, pouring his own cup carefully and sitting down beside his friend. He laughed and shook his head. "And it took Severus to prove it."

"Snape?" Sirius' lip curled but he tried not to question forcefully, remembering how touchy the wolf had been the night before.

"He told me I was acting positively Slytherin."

Molly choked on her tea and Tonks let out a peal of giggles. "He didn't!"

Remus nodded, helping himself to a chocolate biscuit. "He did. And I'm sorry."

"I'm trying to understand it, Remus, but I won't hold it against you." Sirius told him in sincerity.

"That's why you've been such a good friend, Padfoot."

A wave of magic rocked the house foundations gently. "They're getting along well out there," Tonks' bright eyes widened.

"Perhaps we should start in here then," Molly smiled. The pixie faced woman beside her smiled and stood, tripping over her chair and knocking her teacup over. It was empty, thankfully. Mrs. Weasley shook her head and helped the younger woman balance as she clutched at her aching toes. "Honestly, dear..."

Sirius and Remus sat sipping tea while the house around them tingled with weaving magic. The men came back inside, dripping wet and joined Molly and Tonks with the wards inside. It took them under half an hour to finish and when they had, the air itself was pulsing.

"There now," Albus said happily as he made his way back into the kitchen, "it is complete. You are safer here now than a knut in Gringott's vaults."

"Thank you, Albus," Remus smiled, put at ease by the jovial company and fluxing magic.

"Oh, Sirius, I nearly forgot!" Albus buried both hands into the folds of his robes and rummaged about.

"I bet it's a sherbet lemon," Remus whispered toward the animagus.

Sirius stifled a laugh and grinned. "I say it's a Bernie Bott's Every Flavor Bean covered in fluff."

The two fought smiles and ignored the odd looks they got from their guests.

"A-hah!" Albus beamed as he withdrew a sleek package from his pocket. He handed it to Sirius with a bright twinkle in his eye, "I am afraid it is neither."

"And I was actually beginning to hope it was," Sirius grinned as he pulled the strings free. He slipped the top off of the box and let out a slow breath. He turned wide blue eyes up to the Headmaster and then carefully took up a sleek Rock Elm wand in his fingers.

"It was not easy trying to find one to suit," The Headmaster smiled genially. "I took what I knew of your original wand and tried to fashion a decent recreation. It isn't the same wood of course, but will still ply to your strengths, I believe."

"Anything would have been more than enough," Sirius breathed in awe. He flicked the wand experimentally and bright blue sparks shot from the end. "Brilliant," he gaped.

"You need your own protection, Sirius," Albus said in all seriousness, "it is the least I can afford you."

"I may be a bit rusty, Headmaster, but I promise, give me a weekend and I'll be as good as I was years ago." Sirius turned the smooth wood in his fingers.

"Merlin help us all," Severus muttered. He swept from the room in a billow of black robes and was gone.

"I believe Severus has the right idea," Dumbledore shook his robes out and tugged them up tight. "If you need anything, gentlemen, all you need do is ask." He nodded his farewells and was soon gone as well.

Molly and Arthur were next; Arthur and Kingsley rushing off afraid of being missed at the Ministry. Mad Eye left soon thereafter without a parting word, leaving Tonks and the two Gryffindors the intentions for an early supper.

It was highly entertaining watching Sirius learning how to use his wand again. Several plates were shattered, a chair animated and the ceiling painted in a rainbow of odd colors. It took the three of them ten minutes to quiet Mrs. Black's portrait--once the animagus got better--as Sirius tried to set the painting on fire.

They shared a small boiled dinner and drank far too much tea. Tonks stretched and yawned widely at ten o'clock. "This has been far too long coming," she told them both. "We must have a little party soon and do it again."

"That sounds like a smashing idea," Sirius beamed, belching and patting his stomach. "On a long weekend," he amended with bright eyes, "then Harry can come about."

"What a wonderful idea," Remus nodded his agreement, shuffling toward the sink with his empty dishware.

"It's settled then," Tonks smiled brightly. She stumbled over her chair and had to reach exaggeratedly to keep her cup from falling off of the pile of plates in her hands. With a skip, she danced back to Sirius and hugged him tightly, turned and hugged Remus carefully--her cheeks tinting as the wolf let out an 'oh!' of surprise. "I'm off then," she tittered and bounced off into the hallway and into the night.

Sirius tried to get the dishes washing themselves and grunted as he only got various sparks and whistles from his new wand. "I think she half-fancies you," he grinned at Remus.

The werewolf blinked wide eyes over at him. "Who?"

"Tonks of course!" Sirius rolled his eyes. The wand spat a line of green flame and Sirius shook it with a squeak.

"No she doesn't," Remus shook his head, muttering and waving his wand at the dishes. They immediately began to shuffle themselves about and started scrubbing.

"You are blind to the truth," Sirius told him with a little pout. They returned to the table and sipped what remained of the cold tea in their cups.

"It doesn't matter," Lupin shook his head a moment later, turning his cup over into his saucer. "She'll find someone else to moon over."

"Moony," Sirius frowned at him.

"It's alright, Padfoot," Remus laughed at the sour look on his friend's face. "She will, and she should. I'm too damaged for her." He took up his cup and looked down into the tea leaves that remained.

Sirius rolled his eyes, having heard similar excuses from the werewolf most of their adolescent life. "See anything interesting in your future?"

"Let me see," Remus grinned, "it looks like one of my close friends will soon get a shock."

"Oh really," Sirius smirked, leaning over to look down into the cup, "and what is that?"

Remus shoved the cup under Sirius' nose to distract him while he took up the loose leaves from his saucer. "Why... death by tea leaves I think."

"Wha--" Sirius started to speak only to have a wet mess of steeped tea goop spatter across his face. He sat in stunned silence while Remus laughed. Finally, he began to wipe the mess away. "I don't believe you had it in you," he gaped.

"I did," Lupin grinned.

With a rough laugh, Sirius slung what remained of his tea at the lycan but missed by a huge margin and coated the nearby cabinets. After a time they set the remaining cups to wash and cleaned away their mess.

When they both went to sleep that night, it was far easier and for the first time in a long time, Remus slept without dreams.

...oOo...

Two weeks passed without incident. Remus' health seemed to get better as the time passed. His color returned and he moved about with less pain. He was soon helping Sirius move around furniture and reteaching his friend some spells he had forgotten.

The nightmare's had returned but with less frequency and far less intensity. The medication and potions Severus had brought had not been used since the first night Snape brought them, and both Sirius and Remus believed he was making marked progress.

Good food, less stress about hiding and making ends meet had them both in high spirits. Remus was using the stairs without trouble and took a proper bedroom, much to his glee. The den was cleaned properly and the bed returned to a moth-bitten sofa.

Sirius was happy because with Remus' newfound health, they had not seen Snape for several days. The potions master had dropped in three days after the wards were set to make sure there had still been no reactions. Sirius made a rude comment about how Snape had forgotten his instructions and told the greasy potions master that he could certainly still use a pen.

Snape had growled back a rude remark and Remus had to break them apart a few minutes later when Sirius was poking Severus in the chest with his wand and Snape was already starting a complicated hex.

"Don't get comfortable in your routine," the potions master told them cryptically. "Things are not better."

Sirius had scoffed and trailed Snape to the door, spouting off loudly of Snape's alleged genealogy. Remus stood in the hallway frowning in thought.

Now, three days before the first scheduled full moon since his illness, Remus looked back on Snape's threat and couldn't help a small laugh. He hadn't felt this well since he was still in school.

"Where've you gone off to then?"

Remus leaned backward in his chair and stuck his head out the doorway. "Up here, Sirius, in your brother's old bedroom!"

Sirius was soon stomping up the stairs and busted in with a wide grin. "Find anything interesting?"

With a sly grin, Remus pulled open the bottom drawer of the desk he was sitting at. Sirius' eyes widened and he flopped onto the floor with an evil laugh.

"I knew that bastard had these!" Sirius reached into the drawer and pulled out a small stack of magazines. Scantily clad witches on the covers winked and pouted up at them. "I got into weeks of trouble when Mother found one of these in the bathroom hidden beneath the towels."

"Really?" Remus grinned.

"Yea," Sirius whistled as he flipped through one of them. "Of course, it was mine according to Regulus, and who was that damned woman going to believe..."

Remus left Sirius to his drooling and continued tossing useless items into the middle of the floor. He'd spent much of the morning in the room already and the pile there was substantial.

They were both engrossed in their separate tasks--Remus the only productive of the two, with Sirius grunting or making lewd noises now and then. Below them, the door thumped shut and Mrs. Black's portrait let out a howl of rage.

Both men dropped what they were doing and rushed downstairs to see who had dropped by and to stop the woman from irreparably damaging their eardrums. Severus Snape was standing before the woman's portrait with his wand drawn, an ominous grey light spilling from the tip.

"Don't bother," Sirius growled, "the old bitch is too clever for that."

The woman screamed bloody murder until Remus finally got the curtains pulled closed. He sighed heavily and leaned against the wall beside the painting. "There has to be some way to mute that damned woman."

"A fifth of Ogden's and a sulfur match," Snape muttered, brushing past them and moving into the kitchen.

"Where are you going, Snape?" Sirius barked after him, quickly following as though the darker wizard was actually going to set his house afire.

Remus followed them with a roll of the eyes.

Snape had pulled a tightly sealed bottle from his pocket and carefully set it onto the tabletop along with a shrunken package.

"What is that?" Sirius asked, oddly calm considering whom he was talking to.

"That," Severus pointed at the bottle, "is Lupin's monthly Wolfsbane. Perhaps it would be prudent to take it now instead of waiting to the last minutes like last month." He turned his cold gaze on them both and sneered.

As the two Gryffindors struggled to unseal the bottle, Severus moved down the table and unwrapped his package. He took out a set of books and a familiar work journal, sat down and began to write. It was nearly two minutes later that Remus got the cork fee and Sirius remembered they still had a guest.

"What are you doing?"

"Writing, Black," Snape scowled down at his work but continued to write as he spoke. "It is one of the perks of an education. Pity you wasted yours on women and alcohol."

"Don't get sore at me just because I had fun and you couldn't get invited to a party if you threw the damned thing!" Sirius fumed, clutching the edge of the table.

Remus held his nose and drank the contents of the bottle and grimaced as the last bit went down. "I swear that taste gets more fowl each time."

"Excuse me for wasting hours of my time brewing a potion to help your sorry state, Lupin," Severus hissed.

"I didn't mean I wasn't appreciative, Severus, I am... more than you are willing to accept." Remus gave the potions master a small smile but the darker wizard didn't notice.

There was a pause in Snape's scratching and he glanced up, catching Lupin's gaze and quickly looked down again. "I can do nothing about the taste," he muttered toward his paperwork. "It alters the effectiveness no matter what flavoring is used."

Remus blinked at him, looking over at Sirius who had a similar look of surprise on his face. The fact that Snape appeared to be trying to adjust the potion for Lupin's taste was almost too much to comprehend. "Thank you for trying," Remus said softly.

"Yea," Sirius breathed, still in minor shock. He cleared his throat and continued in a false gruff tone, "Almost makes you seem human."

"Stuff it, Black," Snape spat. He began to write again at a vigorous pace. "It wasn't for you... It was purely a procedural matter. A way to refine it."

Lupin smiled knowingly, "Of course."

The pile of books on the table drew both Lupin's and Sirius' attentions. They moved down the table and eyed them from a safe distance. Remus read the titles, turning his head sideways to do so.

"Good lord, Severus, that's quite a collection," the wolf's eyes widened. The lot was all on werewolves; books he had never even heard of.

Sirius took one of them up and began to thumb roughly through it. Before Severus could stop him, Remus had his friend by the wrists and carefully took it from his hands. "Don't do that," he shook his head, amber eyes panicked.

"What?" Sirius let the book go without a fight.

"That book is very old and very fragile," Remus cradled it carefully and set it back down on the table. Severus automatically took it up and set it on his lap to hunch over. "It's the only one in existence."

Sirius looked mildly impressed. "Where did you manage to get a hold of that, Snape? Had to use your Death Eater charm, no doubt."

Severus bared his teeth, "It's none of your concern where or how I retrieved any of these. Don't touch them, they're worth more than you sorry hide--a piece."

The animagus was highly affronted but chose not to speak and look closer at the books without touching them when he glanced up at Remus. The werewolf was nodding subtly at him with a serious face. He was not foolish enough to doubt Remus when it came to the price of books.

"Did you buy these yourself?" Remus squatted to look at them at eye level.

Severus avoided the question with a bit of irritation. "Will you both shut up and go about your business? I don't need you in here blathering on when I'm trying to get some research done." Severus snapped.

"Why are you researching here? Why don't you take your fancy books and bugger off?" Sirius fumed.

"Because for the next three days, you have a new room mate," Snape smirked as he shoved a folded note at Sirius' furious face.

The animagus snatched the note from the potions master's fingers and tore it open. He read it twice and let out wail of childish, "Oh, man!" before handing it over to Remus. It was a short note from Albus, cleverly asking their permission to allow Severus to stay, while telling them that the man already was.

"I'll get a room ready for you," Remus nodded with a tight smile. He passed the note back to Sirius who crumpled it in his fist and threw it as hard as he could toward the sink. It fluttered slowly and landed two feet in front of the counter.

"Make Black do it, I need you to answer some questions."

Sirius gaped and pointed viciously at Snape. Remus made a cutting motion across his neck and tipped his head toward the door. Reluctantly, Sirius grumbled and made his sulking way upstairs to clear out the rest of Regulus' old room for Snape to use.

"What do you need to know," Remus asked, pulling out a chair and easing down into it.

"Where will you be staying during transformation?" Severus didn't bother to look up, quill poised over a piece of blank parchment as he awaited an answer.

Remus sputtered, "I, uh, here I imagine."

Snape grunted, "Would you be adverse to anyone being present during your transformation?"

"Well, no, Sirius has been there many times." Remus tried to read the questions on Snape's paper to see if he could understand what it was he was getting at, but there were no questions written on the parchment.

"Have you considered the complications of this month's transformation?"

"What complications?" Remus asked, exasperated.

Snape finally looked up at him. "I told you before, Lupin, that things are not getting better. Your illness is likely to cause problems during this coming full moon. I take it you haven't thought of this before?"

"No," Remus shook his head, suddenly wishing he had thought more seriously about it.

The potions master withdrew his journal and flipped through a few pages before resting his finger midway down a page. "According to what little I've found, you may have problems as little as migraines; it is also possible that you could have serious complications or any matter in between."

Remus dropped his head to the table and muttered a muffled, "You're sure?" He peeked up through his hair at Snape and grimaced, "Of course you are."

"For the next two days I will be doing extensive research in my room. I hope you can manage to find a desk," Severus sighed heavily.

"The room being cleared out has a rather large one, actually," Remus nodded, straightening in his seat.

"Good." Severus thumbed through the pages of his journal, coming to a gradual stop. "Lupin..." He paused, glancing up through his curtains of hair. Remus could have sworn the man shivered.

"Yes, Severus?"

Snape cleared his throat and sat stiffly in his chair. "Lupin, I will need to watch over the transformation."

"Really?" Remus whispered, heart lodged in his throat. "Are you, um, are you sure of that?"

"Yes," Severus said vehemently. "I'm certainly not doing it for entertainment."

"Right," Lupin nodded, "Whatever you need to do."

Snape snapped out of his funk and clacked the journal shut. "Good. I also require a space to brew several potions while here."

"There's a rather large counter there," Remus pointed across the kitchen to an empty chunk of counter space. "If you need, we might be able to clear out another room for you, but it would take some time."

"The counter will do," Severus dismissed. "So long as you and Black can keep from poking about them."

"I wouldn't dream of--"

"Where will I be staying?"

The lycanthrope stood, his mind whirling and slightly dazed. "This way."

Severus followed him upstairs and grimaced at the mess of the room. Sirius had actually done a fair share considering how little had been done before.

"Working on it," he puffed, heaving a chest of drawers out of the corner.

With a snort, Snape crossed out of the room and pushed open a door across the hall. The room had yet to be cleaned--not that it would have mattered to Severus. The potions master stalked back into the room and brandished his wand. In a matter of moments, the pile of mess in the middle of the room was floating toward the other in a steady stream of junk.

Sirius stopped pulling on the heavy chest and watched with a groan. "Why didn't we do that?" He grumbled at Remus. The werewolf shrugged, hiding a grin.

Snape cleared out the room and moved the place about quickly until it suited his use. Sirius and Remus stood out of the way and watched. When the potions master had finished he returned downstairs to retrieve his books. The two Gryffindors peered into the room, grudgingly impressed.

Severus returned, setting his belongings in the room and quickly shutting the door in their faces. Sirius immediately began kicking at it, screaming at Snape about it being his house. Remus felt a silencing spell go up and hid a laugh behind a cough as he dragged Sirius downstairs to start lunch.


	7. The Friend of my Enemy

The two days before the full moon was set to rise went by very quickly for Remus. He was full of nerves and panic as the time drew thin. Severus had remained mostly out of sight of both he and Sirius.

The potions master never seemed to come down for meals and they never caught the man cooking. One of two signs he was even there were the dirtied dishes that were found in the sink periodically. The only other sign were the line of cauldrons along the countertop.

Each puffed off different smells ranging from moderately pleasant to vile. Neither of them knew what was brewing in any of them, even though Sirius made a point to bitch about the stench whenever he passed the kitchen. Remus hated to agree with him, but the commingled smells made it hard to enjoy any meals and they had to make do in the den.

By early evening as the sun was just starting to sink on the horizon, Severus made his appearance. Remus and Sirius were playing Exploding Snap at the kitchen table when Snape appeared. Sirius sat staring past Remus' shoulder when Snape came in, too preoccupied with his gawking to remember the card game. The pile of cards let out a harsh bang and scorched the animagus' eyebrows.

"Earth to Sirius," Remus waved a hand in front of his friend's face, turning about to see what the man was staring at.

Severus was at the counter grating some root into one of the cauldrons. The potions master wore not a stitch of black clothing and his lank hair was pulled away from his face, tied at the nape of his neck in a length of sable cloth.

"Severus," Remus breathed, blinking in confusion. It was rare to see Snape without his robe's on, let alone in anything with a semblance of color: mahogany slacks, white button-down shirt and a stained off-white apron.

"Not now, Lupin, I need to concentrate," Snape bit out, trying to carefully level out exactly three teaspoons of ground Dog Fennel petals. He shook the powder evenly across the surface of one of the cauldrons, stirring quickly three times clockwise before jumping back and throwing his right arm over his face. The pot let out an ear-splitting bang and evergreen fumes smoked the kitchen.

"What the hell was that?" Sirius shouted over the ringing in his ears.

The other two wizards didn't hear him even though he stood a few feet away. Snape withdrew his wand and soon had the smoke cleared out of the room and turned quickly back to the cauldrons on the counter.

After a number of minutes, the ringing died down to a buzz and Sirius demanded an answer to his question.

"It was a reaction, Black," Severus spoke a little too loudly, not bothering to glare at the animagus since he was too busy with his potions. "Fennel does not mix well with a Muscatine juice base."

"Then why and the hell did you do it?" Sirius growled, surveying the vibrant stain that had spread up the wall from the cauldron.

"Because it is what the recipe calls for. You may think you know everything, Black, but the undertones of potion making goes beyond your aptitude of knowledge. Much like everything else." Severus turned about-face in time to catch Sirius by the wrist as the animagus swung his fist.

"Don't fuck with these," Snape hissed in a low menacing tone, "or your friend may find himself in an agonizing predicament in only a few hours."

Sirius stiffened at the threat, "Why? What have you done?" The animagus jerked on his arm, trying to free himself but Snape was steadfast.

"Nothing!" A quick flash of some unmasked emotion crossed Snape's eyes and Sirius relaxed. The potions master actually looked hurt at what he had said.

Snape let him free when the death-threat glare left Sirius' face. He turned back to his brews and stirred them all with separate utensils. "It doesn't matter if you trust me, Black," Snape said coldly. He looked over his shoulder at Remus as he plucked up a vial from the counter.

"I do trust you, Severus. You've never given me reason to distrust you," Lupin said carefully, believing that was what Snape wanted to hear. The potions master had been brewing concoctions for his consumption for better than a year, and with each month that passed the potion grew more productive. He had no reason to be leery of what Severus made.

Snape gave him a level look for a moment and held the vial out. Remus reached out to take it, but Severus withdrew it enough so it was not within his reach. "Just look at it."

Both Remus and Sirius looked at the corked vial. Remus was the first to recognize what it contained and he flinched backward, knocking into the table. Sirius caught hold of him and snatched the bottle from Snape's hand. He held it up to the light and snarled.

"What is this for?" He demanded with a howl.

"It is for this potion," Snape jabbed a finger at the last pot, stretching into his toes to snatch back the little vial.

"You want Remus to take a potion with silver in it?!" Sirius grabbed Severus by the neck and hauled him around, slamming his back against the table.

Snape grunted and hooked his heel around Sirius' knee, jerking forward and collapsing the animagus. Sirius fell on top of him and slammed his head against the hard tabletop. Blinking away the stars, Snape drove his elbow into Sirius' stomach and caught the vial as it fell from Sirius' fingers.

Shoving the wheezing animagus off of him, Severus pressed his free hand to the swollen welt across his lower back and hobbled back to the sideboard. "It will not kill you, Lupin," he promised, stepping toward the werewolf. Remus tried not to shy away but still flinched when Snape drew close.

Severus sneered, turning violently back to his pots. He unstoppered the vial of liquid silver and tipped seven drops into the bubbling fluid. As each touched the searing potion, they hissed and let off a tiny puff of steam.

He closed the vial and slipped it into his pocket. With a wary look at Sirius, Snape set up a complicated ward that would keep the other two from tampering with his potions. Sirius had finally regained his breath but was uncharacteristically standing back and watching.

Snape turned his onyx gaze to Lupin and frowned. "You said you trusted me, Lupin, now is time to see if your faith has weight." With a spin on his heel, Severus stalked from the kitchen.

Remus and Sirius stared at the open doorway where the potions master had disappeared. Lupin flinched when the door upstairs slammed shut.

"You aren't going to take that," Sirius said quietly into the silence. Remus looked over at his friend, seeing the strong resolve in his face. "I don't care what he claims it will do, Remy. There's no way I'm letting him give that to you."

Remus nodded numbly. He wanted to trust Severus about this, but it was hard to believe the last potion could possibly be good for him.

...oOo...

Severus remained elusive as night fell. Sirius and Remus tried to put the bubbling potions out of their minds but it still hung somewhere in the back like a festering boil.

Sirius had been keeping himself busy in the basement to keep Remus from worrying needlessly about his upcoming change. The animagus had cleared out the section of the basement that would have been a wine cellar except it was void of alcohol. It was a perfect little room for their purpose. Not too small for claustrophobia, but not too large.

Sirius had found that Remus did well with a certain amount of space. An intimate size that wasn't crowding or cavernous.

As the moon threatened to rise, Remus went into the basement with a promise from Sirius that he retrieve Snape from his room. No matter what they were leery of, Severus still knew more about what may or may not be happening within him. Personally, Remus was hoping to prove Severus wrong.

"You can just leave those up here," Remus heard Sirius yell from the stairs. Severus' stalking gait could be heard on the stones and Lupin shivered. He knew that Sirius was talking about the potions from the counter.

"Forget it, Black! I'll have them if I need them."

Remus was sitting naked, only housed in a terry cloth bathrobe when Severus came into view. He gave him a weak smile and unconsciously tugged his robe ends tighter. Snape paused in the small entryway, gazing about himself at the rather confining space.

"Come on in," Lupin joked lamely.

Severus sat down in the far corner diagonally across from Remus. The werewolf knew that Snape had done so--whether unconsciously or not--so that he had the most space between them. The potions master was still wearing the odd clothing only this time without the apron.

Shivering, Remus rubbed at his arms and sighed heavily.

"Do you usually force yourself into the coldest places you can find?"

Lupin smiled a little, "Most secure places don't have central heating."

The potions master frowned, "The Wolfsbane does not give you enough control?"

"Yes," Remus nodded, smiling up at Sirius as the man entered and pulled the door shut behind him. "But I feel more comfortable when I know I can't escape, just in case. And with tonight's possible problems, I don't want to be able to get out."

Snape paled at the last sentence, but nodded his understanding.

"Soon now, Remy," Sirius muttered, easing himself down beside his friend. "I've got the basement stairs sealed."

"Thanks, Padfoot."

The trio sat in silence as the moon began to rise. Severus had balled himself up tight into the corner, watching Remus unwaveringly with hooded eyes. Remus tried not to stare back at him, but the attention was raising the hairs on the back of his neck. Slowly, his senses began to heighten as the moon broke from the horizon and began to peak.

The reek of fear filled the room to excess. The entirety wafted from Severus and Remus felt a hollow, raw hole in his stomach at the realization. He wanted to apologize, but there was no reason to, it wasn't his fault he was a beast.

A slow prickling started up Lupin's spine. He hissed as the prickle turned into a slow burn. Severus was on his feet before Remus could fall onto his side. Sirius stood in Snape's way, pushing the potions master into the corner.

"Easy Moony," Sirius soothed, dropping to his friend's side.

Remus hiccupped in air and pushed himself upright against the wall again. The muscles in his chest twisted violently. Sirius dropped down beside him, gathering him up tightly into his arms and holding him against his chest. Remus gasped, staring at his hands. The fingers of his hands spasmed and the tendons felt like snapping.

Severus stood with his back pressed against the wall, drawing hard ragged breaths. Remus was spasming against Sirius' hold, his eyes were wide and watering as he stared down at his hands. Snape watched, biting his tongue as his stomach roiled. The fingers began to shrink and curl into claws.

"Severus..." Remus chuffed, eyes wide and panicky. Severus snapped out of his horror as his name was spoken. The werewolf wasn't looking up at him, and Snape stood still. "...so sorry..." he growled, bending back hard into Sirius.

The animagus let out a hard huff of breath as it was squeezed from his lungs. His blue eyes were vibrant and dilated as he looked up at Snape over Remus' head.

The snapping of cartilage was wet and harsh, Remus fell to his side--dragging Sirius with him--as his spine realigned and his bones twisted into shape. The werewolf lay fully formed on the floor of the wine cellar, panting hard into the stones.

Severus was still against the wall, heart pounding hard enough in his chest to break free. The wolf raised its head, turning glowing, lupine eyes to him and Snape's knees buckled. Before Severus' behind hit the floor, the wolf was up and stepping toward him.

"No," Sirius said sternly, rising from his spot on the floor. He tugged none too gently on Lupin's ear until the wolf turned his head. "No, Moony," the animagus said again more gently.

The wolf sat down on its haunches, turning glowing eyes back to Snape. The potions master was quivering, nearing a panic attack.

Sirius opened the door of the wine cellar with his wand. "Come on, Moony," he called, walking slowly out of the room. The wolf cast a last look over at Snape and walked into the main basement.

Severus stayed slumped against the wall hugging his knees to his chest. His dark eyes were wide and he stared unblinkingly at the doorway waiting for the large beast to bound back in and attack him.

He started as a shadow moved in the entry, but it was only Sirius as he came back in to stand in front of Snape. The animagus looked down at him with an unreadable expression--which was much better than the sneer or ridicule, or even pity, that Snape was expecting.

"Are you alright?"

Severus scowled, "Perfectly fine."

Sirius snorted and rolled his eyes to heaven as though seeking strength.

"Is it always like that?" Severus asked, trying to stop the agony by getting his mind on track.

"Yea, pretty much," Sirius nodded, eyes hooded as he carefully watched Severus.

Snape nodded, thinking about the ingredients of the potions in his pocket to keep from panicking. He cleared his throat as the transformation kept impeding his thoughts. The piece that stuck out the most was Remus in pain whispering his name. "Do you know what he wanted?"

"Hmm?" Sirius blinked, drawn back to their conversation. "What who wanted?"

"Lupin, you idiot. He spoke my name... do you know what he wanted?"

"Oh that," Sirius let out a deep sigh. "I don't know. He does that every time."

Severus narrowed his eyes, sure that Sirius was having him on. "Every time, what?"

"Every time he transforms," Sirius exclaimed as though he were speaking to a slow person. The animagus sat down beside him and stretched his long legs out. "Honestly," Sirius looked over at Snape, ignoring the startled look on the potions master's face at his proximity. "I'm not entirely sure why. He started doing it years ago. I was rather surprised to see he still did when I returned."

Severus nodded, accepting the information and storing it away for future analyzation. "Why are you being remotely agreeable?"

Sirius smirked, "Remus made me promise." He scratched pensively at his neck and turned back to Snape. "Now, I want a question answered."

"Very well," Severus stiffened, leery of where the animagus would take the tentative peace.

"What's with the silver?"

The potions master rolled his eyes and traced the swirling patterns on the far wall with his gaze. "It is a part of the potion I created. I am hoping I don't have to use it, but I would rather be prepared than not."

Sirius didn't look impressed with his answer. "What does it do?"

"In case there are complications with the transformation or the reversion. The allergic reaction to the silver in this should force the lycanthropy to grow stagnant so that Lupin might revert properly. The amount of silver is not lethal for Lupin, contrary to what you believe I am not here to kill him." Severus sneered.

"I thought any amount of silver was lethal for werewolves," Sirius pried. He sat forward when he heard a crash and a yip, but sat back with a grin. "He found out why that old bed frame is down here."

Severus snorted and resettled his nerves. "It is a misconception that all silver will kill a werewolf. There are different amounts of silver in different items. It is common practice for older packs to keep silver bladed knives for frequent use."

"For what? Rituals or something?"

"Sometimes," Snape drew his knees to his chest and ignored the fact that he was having his first normal conversation with Sirius Black. "Wolves have a faster regeneration rate and most times do not scar badly. Pack fights, sometimes even getting clipped by a hunter, often leave thick scars or pieces of claw or metal in the body. With a silver blade, they are able to recut the scars to retrieve the foreign body or allow the scars to knit cleanly."

"You're kidding," Sirius was impressed.

"I'll show you the book if you'd like," Severus said carefully.

With a carefully muted look of appreciation, Sirius nodded. "Thanks." Severus grunted. Sirius stood, brushing dirt from the back of his pants and disappeared into the basement proper. Severus expected to be left alone for the remainder of moonrise, but Sirius reappeared a moment later.

"He's already asleep," the animagus explained. Severus raised an eyebrow as Sirius resettled next to him again. "What? He'll sleep most of the night."

"And you believe I'd want your company?" Sirius' eyes clouded over and Severus fought his responding irritation and snorted. "It's called sarcasm, Black."

"You could teach a class," Sirius huffed.

...oOo...

It was oddly amicable silence that reigned over them for the most of moonrise. Sirius had fallen asleep against the wall some time around midnight. Severus couldn't relax enough to sleep, especially after Sirius had.

Snape was sitting upright in the corner, dark eyes trained cruelly into the darkness, staring hard enough for them to throb. He heard Remus breathe deeply in sleep and as long as the rhythm remained, he was sure he would be able to handle it.

The soft snoring of the beast stopped quickly around two and Severus was on his feet before he even registered the fact. Sirius was still blissfully oblivious on the floor and Snape was only too happy to remedy it.

"Black," His hissed in a whisper. The animagus barely stirred and Snape crouched and shook him. "Sirius Black wake up!"

"Wha-? Snape?" Sirius blinked his sleep fogged eyes and tried to extract himself from the other man's clutch. "Ow, leggo!"

Severus released him as he stepped back and smoothed his shirt. Sirius grumbled as he stood and Snape shushed him, even going to far as to clap one long-fingered hand over his mouth. Startled, Sirius didn't remove it and only glanced over--finally--at Snape. The potions master's eyes were wide and his skin was far more pale than usual.

Sirius took hold of his wrist and pulled the hand away from his mouth. "What is it?"

"He's not sleeping," Severus whispered coarsely.

The animagus shuffled quickly into the basement, not bothering to ask why Severus was so damned concerned. There were no strange noises, no growls or screams, and Snape eased a little.

"Snape! Get in here!" Sirius called across the basement.

Severus had to bite his lip and yell at himself for being so damned frazzled as he stalked from the alcove. He found Sirius bent over the creature against a far wall. Lupin had curled up on the mattress of the broken bed frame.

Sirius' blue eyes were wide in panic and he reached out and grabbed hold of Snape when he came into reach, hauling the darker wizard onto the bed beside him. "Something's wrong."

Severus was too busy trying to remember to breathe to know what Sirius was talking about.

"Snape!" Sirius barked, shaking him as the man had done earlier. The animagus was close to striking Snape across the face, but instead he gripped his shoulder tightly. "Severus, please," he said softly.

The potions master's eyes cleared instantly and he finally looked down at the werewolf. "Sweet Merlin," Severus gasped. He grabbed hold of Remus roughly by his furred shoulders and tried to roll the beast onto its side. Sirius quickly helped him without question.

Sirius didn't say a word about Severus' actions. He was actively touching and moving the werewolf about as though he did so every day. It was hard to believe that the man was ready to pass out in panic only moments ago.

Remus was awake, but choking slowly on his tongue. The beast's normally vibrant amber eyes were clouded. Sirius was afraid that his friend was going to choke to death.

"Come on, Lupin," Severus grunted, hair sticking to his face. The man's hands were gripping Remus about the muzzle, trying to pry his jaws apart. "Help me," he snapped at Sirius.

The animagus wasn't entirely sure of what to do, but knew as a dog about the sensitive tendon near the jaw joint that made any dog's mouth open. He dug his fingers into it and helped pry with Snape when Lupin's jaw opened marginally.

Severus dug about in his pocket, cursing the dull light and finally pulling the stopper open on the correct vial. Without a thought of it, Snape grasped hold of the wolf's tongue and pulled it roughly from the way. He poured the potion down Lupin's throat and withdrew quickly as the beast's mouth worked to swallow. He cried out in pain and drew his hand to his chest, staring down in horror at the gash along his palm.

The potions master fell to his bottom beside the bed, holding his shaking hand before his face. After a moment, Remus took a deep breath and hacked as the potion took effect.

Sirius bound off the bed with peals of relieved laughter. He clapped Snape on the shoulder, "Wonderful! I didn't think you had it in you, Snape. Snape?"

Severus was mute, all higher brain function had ceased to work and all he could do was watch the blood trail down his arm. He had cut himself on one of Lupin's jagged teeth... a werewolf's jagged teeth... he had been technically bitten by a werewolf.

"Sirius, I... help," Severus mumbled, blindly reaching out for a hand hold. Startled at the use of his given name, Sirius pulled the man to his feet and watched in confusion as Snape stumbled off to a corner and vomited.

Sirius shook his hand as something warm and sticky clung to it. "Snape are you alri--" he stopped as he finally looked at his palm. It was coated in blood. He turned wide eyes back to the potions master and saw in horror that the hand Snape was using to hold himself up against the wall was streaking the stones in blood.

Remus was forgotten as Sirius stumbled over and turned the wizard about. He clutched Snape's injured hand in one of his and tried to deny what he saw. "Jesus! It doesn't mean you'll be-- I mean, it could be nothing!" Sirius was stammering.

"We shall see," Severus croaked. His entire body shook and he felt like vomiting again.

On the bed, Lupin shifted and stood. He sniffed delicately at the air and whined softly as the smell of blood wafted around him. Sirius spun away from Snape and took hold of Remus by the neck, tugging uselessly to move him back. Lupin sat on his haunches and turned his glowing eyes between both men.

Severus slowly sank to the floor, barely avoiding his puddle of sick. He removed his shirt shakily and tore a long strip from the end. He tightly bound his hand as he tried to stave of the blood flow.

"Moony," Sirius whispered into his friend's ear, "something bad's happened..."

Lupin nuzzled under Sirius' chin and fought a mournful howl in his throat. He could taste the blood on his tongue, and he could guess what bad had happened.

---

The moon began to set and Remus felt his skin itch as the fur began to recede. Reversion always seemed to go faster than the transformation. His spine popped and cracked as it realigned. Slowly, his body started to return to normal.

Fierce pain ripped from the top of his head to the base of his spine. Remus fell onto his side and curled in on himself. He could vaguely hear Sirius calling for help to Severus. The hands on his body were hot and in alarm, Remus realized that his body was trying to turn to wolf again.

"Fight it!" Someone yelled harshly into his ear. Remus didn't know how, but tried his best. The bones stopped shifting and for a sickeningly agonizing moment, his body simply stopped changing entirely. He hung in limbo between wolf and man.

He cracked open an eye to see Severus kneeling by his head. A flood of gratefulness and remorse ripped through him so harshly that he actually felt it in his bones. The reversion started again more slowly and after ten minutes of pain-filled struggling, Remus finally lay naked and shivering on the concrete.

"Oh, Moony," Sirius whispered in a litany as he stroked across Lupin's hair.

The terry cloth bathrobe was draped across him, and Remus struggled up enough to tug it on. His left hand tangled in it and with a grunt of frustration, he shoved his fist through the sleeve and gaped as the sleeve tore to ribbons.

"Lupin," Severus' uneasy voice broke through his haze of fatigue. Remus turned his eyes up and saw Snape flinch. "There have been complications."

His heart clenched painfully in his chest. Slowly Lupin raised his hand to his eyes and bit out a strangled cry. His hand was curled into cruel, long fingers; knuckles knotted and thick cracked nails. It was not a usual paw, but literal clawed, hooked fingers. The muscles shifted subtly back and forth in his skin and Remus knew without testing that he could crush a man's skull in his hand.

"Come on, Remy," Sirius said softly, "let's get you up in a proper bed."

The animagus practically carried his friend up the basement stairs and then to the second floor. Severus had followed silently, standing in the entryway, shirtless and streaked in dried blood.

"Is there nothing you can do?" Sirius asked him quietly as he leveraged Remus into the bed.

"Not tonight," Snape shook his head, eyes never leaving Lupin's face. "He is too weak for treatment. Perhaps in a couple of days."

Remus felt like sobbing, curling his overlarge hand into a fist and shoving it beneath his pillow so he didn't have to look at it. Severus turned in the doorway, a dark bruising along his lower back caught Remus' eye as he disappeared toward his room.

"Wha' hap'n'--" Remus stopped, stretching his jaw and frowning. He brought his right hand to his mouth and touched gingerly. The lower canines in his bottom jaw were still large and pointed, filling his mouth. He looked mournfully at Sirius and his friend nodded that it was indeed true. Lupin clenched his eyes shut and sighed heavily through his nose. "Wha' hap'n Se'rus?"

Sirius concentrated on what Remus said and then appeared in thought. "You mean his hand or his back?"

Remus shrugged, too mortified to speak again.

"I'm pretty sure the back bruise was from this afternoon," Sirius sighed, sitting down on the bed as though Remus was not a disfigured creature of the night. "Remember when I threw him into the table..." Remus nodded. "His hand was cut when he stopped you from swallowing your tongue."

Lupin's eyes clenched shut as he fought what that could mean for Severus in a month's time.

"We're not going to worry about it now," Sirius spoke in a stern tone. "You're going to sleep. The sooner you get stronger, the sooner Snape might be able to fix this."

Remus closed his eyes and rolled onto his side. He heard Sirius get up and leave, shutting the door softly behind him. As soon as Sirius had gone off, Remus opened his eyes to stare out the window. A single, hot tear fell from his eye and soaked into his pillow.

…oOo…

Sirius paused outside of Severus' room on his way to bed. The light shone underneath the crack in the door and Sirius paused. Severus had gone through a lot over the last few hours, including facing his largest fear and getting injured badly... twice.

The animagus steeled himself for a fist to the face and knocked. "Snape?"

"Come in, Black," a broken voice called from the inside.

Sirius entered cautiously, unsure if Snape hadn't previously booby-trapped his doorway. Nothing ill befell him, and the room that stretched in front was empty. The door to the adjoined bathroom was open and Sirius could just see Snape's reflection.

"You alright in there?"

Severus glared at him with his mirror image. "Save the false sympathies."

"I'm actually trying here and you're getting lippy," Sirius huffed stalking across the room to lean against the bathroom doorjamb with his arms crossed over his chest.

Snape gave him a calculating stare and finally snorted. "Very well."

The animagus watched as Severus carefully unwrapped his hand while holding it over the sink. As the bandages pulled away, flakes of blood and the smallest of drops hit the porcelain. A candle was burning on the flat sideboard with a large, smokeless flame. Beside it lay a blunt metal punch.

"How bad is it?" Sirius tried to see but Severus kept moving it about and he couldn't get a fix.

"Bad enough," Severus sighed heavily and hissed as the last bit of bandage caught before

breaking free.

With his good, right hand, Snape took up the punch and ran it through the flickering flame. After the end began to smoke, Severus took a deep breath and drove the hot end into the hole in the palm of his hand.

Acrid smoke and the stench of burnt flesh filled the small bathroom. Sirius didn't ask why he did it, but winced and couldn't help watching in sick fascination. Severus hadn't uttered a sound.

The metal was pulled away and dropped into the curved basin. The darker wizard turned on the tap and ran cool water across it. It hissed and sizzled as it rushed across the metal.

Still without a single grunt, Severus took a small tub of salve from within the cabinet above the sink. He silently offered it to Sirius who opened it and passed it quietly back. Snape pulled a glob of pale green gel and smeared it around his palm.

Next, the potions master took a fresh length of wrap and tried valiantly to rewrap the wound. Between the fresh burn and tear, he couldn't flex his hand enough to hold the start of the wrap in place. After watching Snape try three times, Sirius took it and gingerly did it for him.

"Why not just take a healing potion?" Sirius glanced up from his work to see Severus still holding

his breath.

The other wizard let it out in a whoosh. "I'm attempting to stop what may not even be happening."

"The curse."

Snape nodded once. "The punch is sterling silver, the highest it can contain and still have structural integrity." His voice was gravely and laced in pain.

Once his hand was completely bound, he turned the light off and returned to the main room. Sirius winced as he saw the nasty black bruising in actual light. "How are you going to heal that?"

Snape shot him an irritated look that Sirius understood as Snape not understanding his question. "Your back," he clarified.

Severus' eyes shuttered and he turned a bit to try and hide it. "It will heal. I refuse to take the healing potion until I know for sure about this," he held up his hand.

"There must be something else, then," Sirius pressed, a little flicker of guilt in his stomach.

"Not that I have with me," Snape growled, snatching up his house coat to hide the topic of their conversation.

Sirius snapped his fingers with a look of triumph. He left the room at a light jog and returned before Snape could shut the door. "Off with that then," Sirius demanded, tugging at the sleeve of the bed robe.

"Black, I am hardly your new conquest," Severus snapped.

Sirius looked affronted and held up his hand to show the small tube in it. "It's a crème for mild bruising... I figure it's better than nothing."

One of Snape's eyebrows rose slowly. "Why do you have that?"

A cool mask settled over Sirius' face and his usually mischief-sparkling eyes went dull. "My family has always had a good stock of this on hand."

Snape's eyes narrowed but he didn't ask the question that was on his mind. It was none of his business, and they all had their own demons from their past. Severus held his hand out for it but Sirius shook his head.

"You'll never get it on by yourself." Snape stiffened and stepped backward before he could stop himself. Sirius followed him, "Come on, the quicker we do this, the quicker its over and we won't mention it again."

The darker wizard didn't help Sirius tug off the jacket, but he didn't stop him either. Sirius slung the garment across the foot of Snape's bed and squeezed a generous amount of crème into his palm. He smoothed it around in his hands to warm it before tentatively spreading it across Snape's lower back.

The potions master was barely breathing, and stiff as a board. Sirius frowned as his fingers caught and counted numerous overlapping scars. Snape's skin was so very pale that he could not see them at his arms-reach distance, but there were far too many scars under his fingers than any mortal man should have.

A set of scars caught his particular tactile attention and Sirius unconsciously kept running the pads of his fingers across it trying to recognize the shape. He knew he had lingered there too long when Severus shivered bodily and stepped out of his reach.

"Yes, well, fine," the man rambled, looking at the wall past Sirius' shoulder.

"I know it isn't my business, Snape... but you've got an awful lot of--"

"Scars? Yes." Snape mumbled, eyes blank.

Sirius consciously cleared his throat and wiped his palms onto his pants. "I, uh, that bit on that side... it was... Never mind. You can't possibly have gotten all of those from spying."

Severus snorted softly, "Yes," he whispered distantly, fingers reached awkwardly back to touch the spot of scar tissue Sirius was talking about. "A belt buckle." A sick smile cruelly twisted Snape's face. The man blinked and cleared his own throat as he came back to himself. "Many are from spying," he admitted, "but Death Eaters are usually not very physical when it comes to torture."

Sirius nodded absently, sidestepping to the door at a loss for words after the cryptic answer. He nodded goodnight and pulled Snape's door shut. It wasn't until he was finally wiggling into his bed sheets that he realized what Severus had meant. Death Eaters used magic to hurt people, therefore the belt buckle scar had come from somewhere else. Some time else.

The animagus felt a surge of irrational anger as his mind flashed with images of a child-age Snape being beaten by his father. A moment later, the image was gone and Black tried to push the

thought away. It seemed he and Severus had more in common than he wanted to admit.


	8. Awkward Mornings After

Remus woke late the next afternoon. His body hurt far more than any other time in his life. As though by telepathic impulse, Sirius and Severus both came in only moments after his eyes finished adjusting to the light.

"How are you feeling?" Sirius asked with soft voice in case Lupin had a headache after his ordeal.

The werewolf sat up slowly with some help and leaned tiredly against the headboard. He turned his itchy eyes about the over-bright room. Severus was still standing in the doorway. As soon as their eyes met, Severus flinched and looked away.

With a fresh bout of energy fueled by guilt and anger, Remus stood on his own and stumbled toward his bathroom. He slammed the door shut behind him, ignoring the muffled befuddlement of Sirius.

He leaned against the sink and ran luke warm water into the basin. After splashing several handfuls of water across his face, Lupin gingerly took up the towel and patted his face. The sight that met him in the mirror made him drop the cloth to the floor without a second thought.

No wonder Severus kept shrinking away from him when he looked at him.

Beyond the odd position of his lip over his large teeth, both of his eyes were wide and glowing. He still had the eyes of the wolf. Remus strangled a sob and touched his mirror image. His clawed hand curled into a fist and with a yowl of rage, he slammed it into the porcelain basin and watched as it fell to pieces at his feet.

The water pipe busted and soon his room was flooded with well over an inch of water.

"Remus!" Sirius shouted through the door, jiggling the handle violently.

Remus swung it open and stormed from the room, pushing past Severus and stood in the hall, banging his fists into the drywall. His stomach clenched painfully in his gut and he bent double as though to retch. Nothing came of it, but dry, cracked sobs ripped painfully up his spine. He lost track of everything but the pain in his heart.

It was ten minutes later, shivering and hiccoughing that he realized he was being rocked in Sirius' soaking wet arms. The animagus had waded through the mess and shut off the valve to his bathroom water flow and had soaked himself to the skin to do it. Severus was gone.

"What's happening to me?" Remus chocked out, carefully enunciating around his new teeth.

Sirius didn't answer, he didn't know how to.

The sound of soft footfalls on the stairs drew his watery gaze and Remus saw Severus breech the stairwell. The potions master didn't so much as blink when he met Lupin's gaze this time. The man held down a short juice glass. "Drink this."

Remus took it, trickling a small mess down his chin as he had to relearn to drink with his new teeth. He offered the empty glass up to Snape and wiped his chin with the back of his good hand. "What was it?"

Severus stared at him like he was an idiot, "Warm milk."

"What?" Sirius asked brusquely.

"I told you both he could have no medication until he is fit for it," Severus hissed. "At least it is something in your system. It is supposed to have a calming effect." The potions master sniffed.

"Something your mother taught you?" Sirius queried with a snort. He helped Remus to his feet and the werewolf saw Severus stiffen.

"Yes," Severus said quietly. With a last, lingering look, the man returned to the kitchen with the empty glass.

Remus followed Sirius to his room and slumped into the chair as Sirius stripped off his wet clothing. Sirius plopped down on the bed with a dry shirt in his hands. He sighed heavily and gave Remus a tired smile.

"Severus and I were talking this morning--"

"Did you just call him Severus?" Remus interrupted with a gape.

Sirius grimaced, "Don't tell him, it was an accident."

"Right," Remus touched his forehead and wondered if he had woken in an alternate reality.

"Anyway, we were talking this morning. Snape's pretty sure this is all reversible." Sirius spoke with a reassuring tone.

"It's true," Severus interrupted in the doorway, having returned from the kitchens with a small tray of food. He set it down beside Remus and gave him a pointed stare until the werewolf took up a toast point and nibbled on it. The potions master was appeased and looked over at Sirius before letting out a snort. "Get dressed Black. Do you think we actually want to see that?"

Remus blinked wide eyes at the two of them. Surely Severus didn't just make a joke.

"Of course you do," Sirius grinned. "You just don't want to admit it." He pulled the shirt over his head anyway as Snape began to glare.

Remus continued to stare. It had to be another reality. Severus and Sirius could hardly speak to each other in calm tones, much less make jokes.

"Close your mouth, Lupin," Severus grumbled.

The lycanthrope closed his jaw with a clack and grimaced as his new canines pierced his upper lip. He ran his tongue across his lip and tasted blood there.

"Let me see," Snape demanded, already tugging at his mouth. Remus acquiesced before the man did it roughly and tore his lip off of his face. After a moment of grunts and sighs, Severus released him. "Be more careful. You're other teeth are exceedingly sharp." He turned his fingers and prodded at the muscles along Remus' jaw. "It seems you also have extra jaw muscle. Don't bite anything out of anger, even if it's something as simple as a spoon. You'll probably bite it in two."

"Wicked," Sirius grinned and a mischievous glint lit in his eyes.

"Don't think about it, Black," Severus amended. "He could hurt himself. I don't want to return here tomorrow only to find he's broken his jaw because you wanted to see if he could bite through an iron poker."

"Fine," Sirius pouted, flopping backward onto the bed like a chastised six year old.

"Tomorrow?" Remus touched his throbbing lip and tried to keep his mind on the conversation.

"Yes. I will be returning to Hogwart's shortly. After updating the Headmaster, I'm sure you will not have to see me until I come tomorrow evening. If you are well enough then we will start treatments."

"You're leaving then," Sirius sat up again, rejoining in the exchange.

"That is what I said," Snape growled.

An evil grin curled Sirius face. "I don't suppose you could bring by a couple of birds with you?"

Severus' eyebrows rose to his hairline. "If you think I could possibly attract any women to bring to you, that it would be without the use of imperio?"

Remus gaped at them again, sputtering as he pointed at first one and then the other. "When did... ?"

"Are you feeling alright, Lupin? Perhaps you'd best eat something and have a lie down." Severus frowned.

"I... Never mind." Remus waved them off. He needed to return to bed and pray he woke up in a world that made sense.

"Eat, Lupin. You will take regular meals and no medication whatsoever while I am gone. If any pain you get becomes unbearable, contact the Headmaster or myself." Severus lectured, his voice and demeanor stern.

"Aye, aye," Sirius rolled his eyes, giving the man a fake salute.

"You do have the permission to bite him if he becomes too much of a nuisance," Severus smirked as Sirius glared at him.

With a spin of robes, Severus soon disappeared and Sirius was left with a gaping Remus.

"You heard him," Sirius prodded, "eat as much of that as you can."

Idly taking up another toast point, Remus gazed levelly at his friend. "What's happened?"

"Well, you've made a proper mess of the hallway, but it's nothing a bit of paint can't fix," Sirius plucked up an apple slice from the plate and ate it.

"No, no," Remus sat forward with a grunt, toast forgotten. "What's happened between you and Severus?"

A shadow fell over Sirius' face and he actually stopped chewing as he got lost in thought. "An odd understanding I suppose," he said finally. His blue eyes lit on Remus' befuddled face and he smiled sadly. "He's still a slimy git. I just think I might understand how he started to become one."

Remus smiled a little, proud of Sirius' newfound brain. "Good, Padfoot." The wolf stood up from the chair and lay down on his friend's bed. He stretched out and curled onto his side, suddenly exhausted.

"Sleepy, Moony?" Sirius grinned, snapping open a throw blanket to drape across the lycan. Remus grunted, already half asleep. He smiled a little as he felt Sirius brush hair from his face and heard the door shut lightly. He dreamt of better things for the first time in months.

...oOo...

Sirius woke Remus at five o'clock that evening and made him move about. They went downstairs to the kitchen and Sirius let Remus dump himself into a chair to rest.

"There, that wasn't so bad, eh?" Sirius quipped. The animagus rustled about in the pantry and came out with some packaged food to start a supper.

"Says you," Remus grumbled into the wood.

Sirius laughed and set about cooking. They talked of idle things for a while, Sirius making sure Remus wouldn't fall asleep at the table. He was just spooning out their meal twenty minutes later when a loud bang came from the front door.

Both men stared at the entryway to the kitchen in surprise. Order members hadn't been around much the past few days. Remus was sure it was Albus' doing in an attempt to give him some privacy.

Mrs. Black's portrait let out a howl that lasted only seconds before it went eerily quiet. Sirius and Remus shared a confused look. Low grumbling and a stuttered step grew louder as their impromptu guest came further up the hall. A billow of black robes and a scowling pale face soon erupted into the kitchen.

"Severus?" Remus stood up a little shakily.

"Sit down, Lupin." Snape hissed, stalking around the table and sitting down stiffly at the opposite end.

"What are you doing back here?" Sirius frowned, scooting the plate across the table to Remus and sitting down to eat.

"I have been forced into a leave of absence," Severus growled, hands curled into tight fists on the tabletop.

"What for?"

Snape scowled and uncurled his bandaged hand, holding it palm-side up on the table. Remus paled and dropped his fork with a clatter. The potions master closed his hand and set it under the table on his lap.

Had Remus bit him on purpose last evening, he would have been sure to rub the lycan's face into it for years to come. As it was, it had happened during asphyxiation when Severus had willingly shoved his hand into the beast's mouth. It was his own fault and he felt there was no reason to plague Remus with it. At least until the werewolf got better.

"Eat, Lupin," Severus grumbled, conjuring a glass and levitating a bottle of fire whisky from his baggage that sat in the doorway. He poured a healthy amount and drank half of it. Sirius picked at his dinner and Remus ate virtually nothing. Snape scowled, "Both of you quit moping. I'm not about to take care of you both because you feel a sense of guilt."

Sirius scowled at him and took a large bite of food out of spite. Remus couldn't look up at Snape from his plate.

Severus sneered, "If you find my presence so unappetizing, I'll gladly leave you to sulk in solitude." He took up his bottle, drank the remains of his glass, and levitated his luggage behind him as he stomped up the stairs and locked himself into his room.

Sirius and Remus sat at the table, processing the news as best as they could. Remus tried to eat a bit more and only managed a bite before he couldn't stomach anything else. The animagus reluctantly took his plate away and sat down beside his friend. "Don't let Snape get to you Moony."

Remus said nothing.

It was hardly ten minutes since Severus arrived that the door banged shut again and Albus Dumbledore came bustling quickly into the kitchen. The Headmaster didn't bat an eyelash at Remus' deranged looks. His blue eyes glanced across the kitchen, searching, before they lit on Remus again.

"Where is Severus?"

"Upstairs," Remus mumbled, "second door on the right."

"Thank you," Albus spoke quickly, turning and moving up the stairs.

"What was that about?" Sirius wondered aloud.

"I don't know," Remus frowned, spinning his teacup in his hands.

They could tell the moment that Albus found Snape. The door thumped shut and Severus' angry voice filled the hallway. The two Gryffindors didn't leave the kitchen, only stared wide-eyed at each other. Snape's speech was muffled through the walls so they couldn't quite understand what was being said, only that the man was very angry.

The angry bursts were punctuated with eerie silence as Albus spoke calmly, but it never lasted long as Severus burst out loud again. There came a point when they could no longer hear any noise from upstairs and they looked worriedly at each other and the entry.

Albus came back downstairs some ten minutes later, his face lax and eyes dull. He paused in the kitchen and sighed heavily, twisting the ends of his beard in his fingers. "I believe a bit of an explanation is in order."

"There's no need--"

"Yes, there is," the Headmaster interrupted. "Because of Severus' injury, I think it is prudent that he remain here. I know that he will be functional until the next full moon rises, but it will always plague his mind and hinder his work--both mentally and physically. Here, he can research for your health and learn for himself should the worst come of it."

Remus frowned and stared down at his crooked hand that he cradled in his lap. Albus rested a warm hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "I want you to understand that Severus does not blame you for his injury, Remus."

The wolf nodded, closing his eyes as heat prickled behind them.

"I am serious, my boy. He was adamant in his retelling of last night to point out that it was his folly and that you were not to be blamed." Albus smiled gently as Lupin finally dared look up. The Headmaster sighed softly and nodded to both of them, "I must return to Hogwart's but I could not leave Severus in such a frazzle. I imagine he will be very touchy for a few days. I am sorry you have to face the anger that I have created."

"It's fine, Albus," Sirius shrugged his worry off. "Snape may be a right bastard, but he's careful about keeping his hate for those that deserve it."

Dumbledore's eyebrows rose onto his forehead. Remus smiled a little and shook his head, "I'm confused too, Albus."

The Headmaster laughed lightly as Sirius looked cross at his friend's jibe.

"I will leave you to him, then. Take care, Remus. If you should have need of anything, all you need do is ask."

The werewolf thanked him as Sirius walked the Headmaster out. There was a bit of dragging and thumps from Snape's room. Remus looked mournfully at the ceiling and hoped that Severus would not become the evil that he was.

...oOo...

It was ten thirty in the p.m. as Sirius sat alone in the dark of the den. Remus had gone to bed only an hour after Albus left them. He was worried for the lycan but wasn't sure what to do about it. Remus looked to be sinking slowly back into the depression and pain that had plagued him only a month ago.

Sirius took a long drink of his gin and set the glass on the floor beside him. Perhaps he should talk to Snape about it, but not tonight.

Severus had yet to come downstairs since his arrival. Now and then there were noises from the man's room that could have been moving furniture, but Sirius didn't care enough to investigate. The wizard could tear apart the room and sleep in a pile of shredded mattress for all he cared.

All the animagus knew was that he now had two ill and cranky men under his roof. One of them could rend him to pieces without breaking a sweat; the other could poison him with a self-brewed potion or hex him into a million frazzled lumps. Now he had to tip-toe about them and be wary of what he did... And that would be a chore. Sirius had never been one to do what was expected of him.

He was pleasantly lightheaded as he made his way upstairs to go to bed. The staircase swaying gently beneath his feet. He thanked Merlin for whomever invented hand-rails. Sirius paused to check on Remus. The werewolf was balled on his side and hugging a pillow. With a sad smile, Sirius pulled the door shut and stuttered to a stop outside of Snape's door, listening intently to the silence inside.

There was a light underneath the door, but it was very quiet. Sirius believed the potions master had fallen asleep, but just as he began toward his room he heard the turning of a page and snorted to himself. Of course. Snape was reading. The potions master didn't have a friend in the world that wasn't leather-bound or boiling in a cauldron.

Sirius' brows furrowed together. What an awful thought, he scolded himself--even though he knew it was true. He had just raised his hand to knock but caught himself in time. He took several sloppy, drunken steps toward his room as quickly as possible. He wasn't about to invite Snape for a game of Exploding Snap just to satiate his guilty conscience.

"No more alcohol," he slurred to his reflection. At the moment he looked as atrocious as Remus probably felt. With a grimace at himself, he stumbled from the bathroom and fell onto the bed in a flop.

...oOo...

It was maybe three in the morning when Sirius was rudely prodded awake. His semi-conscious mind recognized the dull glow of Remus' eyes in the half-light.

"Wuzza matter?" Sirius palmed one of his eyes and struggled to sit upright.

Lupin was sitting on the edge of his bed, eyes half lidded and curled in on himself as though he were cold.

"Are you in pain?" The animagus cleared his throat, shuffling aside his blankets to get up but Remus was pinning them in place.

"No," The lycan whispered raggedly.

Sirius sat propped against the headboard and took a long, slow breath in. He looked over Remus with a more careful--and awake--eye. The werewolf looked exhausted and slightly panicked at the same time. The reason for his friend's moonlight visit struck him between the eyes like a two by four. "Was it another nightmare?" He asked softly, trying not to sound condescending as though Remus were five years old.

The werewolf looked away, in shame or guilt, Sirius wasn't sure. His heart went out to him. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Remus shook his head.

"Do you want a drink?" Sirius tried with a grin.

A steady silence followed. Remus shifted and stood, "No, I... I'm sorry Sirius, I'll just go back to my room."

Sirius caught hold of Remus' hand and stopped him. He waited until Lupin caught his gaze again before he asked another question. "Do you want to stay in here with me?"

Even though Remus was not close enough for Sirius to see his face, he was sure his friend was flushing. After a tense moment, he saw Remus nod tersely once.

With a disarming smile, Sirius tugged on Remus' arm and tossed his blankets aside. The werewolf sat down and slid timidly across the linen.

"I'm sorry Siri," he whispered into the dark.

Sirius flipped the blankets back up over both of them and tutted. "Nonsense, Remy," he grinned and laughed. "It's been a while since we've shared a bunk, but it's certainly nothing new." Remus didn't laugh with him.

The animagus waited for several long minutes until Remus' body softened in sleep before he tucked him in properly. He made a mental note to speak to Snape first thing in the morning as he slid down beside the lycan.

He curled an arm around Lupin's too-thin waist and tucked the grey-streaked head beneath his chin. Remus sighed softly in his sleep and snuggled into the warmth behind him. Sirius smiled sleepily and pressed a dry kiss to the back of Lupin's neck. "Sweet sleep, Moony."

...oOo...

Severus was awake before the dawn sun had begun to color the horizon. He had not slept during the night, only tossed fitfully on the lumpy mattress before getting up and sitting at his desk.

He hadn't done any real research in that time even though he had taken out a text to do just that. Mostly he sat with the book open and stared at the wall fuming in silence. His hand throbbed in a tempo with his head, he may have read a paragraph in the hours of time he sat staring, but he didn't learn a word.

The window was stuck shut, still coated in filth and grime. Snape had attempted to open it at one point to help with the stuffiness of the room and cool his heated temper. All he managed to do was smear the glass and dirty his hands.

His bandaged hand was dirtied, but he didn't have the will or the ability to change the dressings himself. Besides, he thought to himself, that's what the bloody bandage is for. He settled for wiping the clingy bits off with a towel and forgetting about it.

He napped on and off again during the darkest parts of the night, but he didn't sleep long or well. By the time the sun did come up, creeping over the horizon like phosphorescent molasses, he had a crick in his neck.

The trademark black robe was thrown across the foot of the bed. He winced periodically as he curled his fingers to pluck at his buttons as he dressed down. He could not sleep once the sun was up--had never been able to especially as a child--so he was preparing to suffer for the day on sketchy rest.

The shower head spat freezing drops for several agonizing seconds before the warmed water made it up the piping. Severus showered quickly and carefully, trying not to use his injured hand if he could help it, and stepped out feeling more cranky than when he went in.

Dressing was a little more painful than undressing. It was easier to shrug out of clothes using other muscles than it was tugging them on with just his hands for help. By the time his trousers were on and shoes tied, he didn't have the hand endurance to button his shirt up.

Furious at his need for other's assistance, he finger-combed through his damp hair with his right hand and swore colorfully under his breath as he trudged toward Sirius' room. There was no way he was going to survive with any dignity when his ordeal was over. Already the hate-hate relationship he had with Sirius Black had muted to frustrated-annoyed.

He pounded sharply on Sirius' door, fresh dressings clenched in his fist. There was a set of grumbles and annoyed mumbling before the door was yanked open by a sleep rumpled Sirius Black.

"Snape? What the hell do you want? You do know what time it is..." The animagus gave him a bleary eyed once-over, eyes straying back to Snape's pale chest and dripping hair twice before he managed to look him in the eye.

"I require some assistance," Severus snipped, pushing past the yawning wizard and came up short. Remus Lupin was shifting in Sirius' bed, sitting up groggily and rubbing at one eye. "I see you are busy," Snape spoke stiffly, fingers flexing around the bundle of clean bandages in his hand.

He turned on his heel sharply and was already in the hall by the time Sirius realized what he had meant.

"Snape, wait just a damned minute!" The animagus barked. To his surprise, the potions master stopped. "You want help with something than get back here and quit being a virginal prat."

Severus glared over his shoulder and snarled.

"Besides, it's not what you're thinking you great pervert," Sirius heaved a heavy sigh and waved his arm impatiently. "Come on, then."

The still damp wizard returned reluctantly to Sirius' room and stood rigidly in the doorway. Remus had wakened completely during the shouting match and sat looking ill and embarrassed on Sirius' bed.

"Good morning, Severus," Remus mumbled, unable to hold Snape's gaze for very long.

"Lupin," he replied with a terse nod.

Sirius rolled his eyes at both of them and scratched idly at his bare chest. "Well, what do you need?"

Without explaining--and not needing to after--Severus extended his hand. The circular puncture was still fresh and oozing. Even though Snape had cauterized it with searing silver only two nights ago, it looked raw as though it only just happened. Even wounds two days old without magical mending would have knit at the edges by themselves and would no longer bleed unless reopened.

Sirius took the clean linen and gingerly examined the injury even though he had to ignore the irritated glare Severus gave him. Dark violet bruising circled the wound in a thin ring. It spurted a bit of blood at him as he prodded along the thick of Severus' palm with his thumb.

The animagus let out a low whistle. "Do you have anything to put on this?"

"No."

"Is that because you don't want to," Sirius asked in a light tone, trying to take the severity out of his question, "or because you don't dare to?"

"If you find it difficult to wind cloth about my hand, Black, I'll have Lupin do it," Severus hissed.

Remus stood up at his name but looked warily between the two. "I'm sure you'd prefer Sirius," he swallowed thickly, still unable to meet Severus' gaze.

With a decided effort, Severus took the stretch of bandage from Sirius' unresisting fingers and took the few steps toward Remus. "I'm sure you've had more experience," Severus mumbled, purposefully staring at the scars that criss-crossed along Remus' abdomen.

"Severus, please," Remus panicked, back-pedaling. "I'm sure Sirius is more than capable--"

"Do it, Lupin," Snape pressed, shoving the length of fabric into his palm. Remus grabbed hold of it on reflex and stood gaping as Severus then shoved his lacerated hand under his nose.

"I--" Remus paused, now unable to look down at the wound. The stern look on Severus' face brooked no argument. The lycan looked past Snape toward Sirius, hoping for some reinforcement. Sirius had his arms crossed over his chest and was nodding slowly, in agreement with Snape.

With a deep breath, Remus looked down at the injury he had caused and flinched. As gently as possible, he lay the strip down lengthways and rested one of his clawed fingers on the edge. Severus didn't utter a sound in the minute it took to wrap his palm securely. As soon as Remus finished, the potions master turned and stalked out with his shirt tails flapping.

Remus let loose the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He sat down hard onto the mattress and covered his face in his hands. Sirius sat down beside him and hugged him with one arm.

"Alright, Moony?"

Remus nodded and dropped his hands to his lap. He gave Sirius a shaky smile and nodded again. "Yeah, I think so."

"Good."

Meanwhile, back in his room, Severus was hyperventilating at his desk.


	9. Dust from the Rafters

Since they had been rudely awakened, Sirius and Remus decided mutely to start their day. Sirius disappeared into his bathroom to shower, leaving Remus to do as he pleased. The werewolf was looking forward to a shower himself, but the grumbling in his stomach had him thinking of breakfast.

He was pleasantly surprised at how hungry he was. Even without the complications in previous transformations, he never had an appetite for days after. So, feeling things must be looking up, Remus set down the stairs humming to himself.

It was a new ordeal trying to use a pan with a clawed hand. After a few awkward moments, he gripped the handle well and whipped up a quick breakfast for Sirius and himself. It wasn't the nicest looking meal once he had finished, but it smelled heavenly to him just the same.

After pouring a generous portion for Sirius, he set a warming charm on his friend's plate and sat down to eat.

The horror of his latest nightmare was faded well. If there was a way to prevent himself from dreaming ever again he would gladly do it, even if it meant lopping off an arm. Though, he had to admit that he slept amazingly well with Sirius.

He flushed as he remembered Severus' innuendo. He may have been able to scoff it off as Sirius' had. Surely Sirius was able to make such a vehement denial because he saw no way that the two of them could be more than the remaining Marauders.

Remus couldn't blame him for that. He wasn't sure if Sirius ever swung that way. Hell, he wasn't sure if Sirius could even perform sexually. The man had gone without for twelve years--in the worst wizarding prison the world had seen--and was now forced to hide with two men.

It wasn't as though Lupin was harboring a secret, undying love for the man. He had always found Sirius attractive--as had most of Hogwart's during their day--and would always love him as the friend that he was. It's not to say he hadn't toyed with the idea when they were teenagers, but he wouldn't toy with it now. Sirius was helping him through a very ugly time and he was loathe to jeopardize their friendship to appease some primal part of his mind that was unendingly curious.

Sirius' reaction certainly helped cement his inkling idea. Perhaps he ought to thank Severus for clarifying it for him before he did something stupid.

"Perhaps you should sleep at night and prevent yourself from falling asleep at the table." Severus interrupted his thoughts. The man had managed to button his shirt by himself. "Since you appear to be well enough for... other endeavors, you will start treatment today."

Remus blushed and scowled. "I did sleep last night."

One of Severus' eyebrows arched and he chuffed. "Of course you did." The potions master turned away with a scowl and Remus tamped down the urge to throw something at him.

Sirius ambled in dressed only in a threadbare bathrobe. "Morning, gentlemen!" He eyed the plate on the sideboard and beamed at Remus as he dropped into a nearby seat with his breakfast. "Thank you, Moony. You didn't have to make us anything."

Severus scoffed from the corner and Remus realized that he hadn't made anything for the darker wizard at all.

"Severus, I'm sorry, I didn't think--"

"That seems to be a Gryffindor trait," The potions master frowned, carefully mixing a draught in a glass goblet with only his right hand.

Sirius looked confused, "Didn't you make something for Snape?" He whispered toward his flushed friend. Remus set his face in his hands and shook his head. The animagus laughed and clapped his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"There's plenty here, Snape, if you want some of mine," Sirius offered, breathing deeply of the yummy smells.

"That won't be necessary," Snape mumbled with less ire than when he spoke to Remus. "I find I don't have an appetite."

"You should eat something," Sirius said between bites, grunting in appreciation.

The darker wizard turned from the sideboard with the glass in his hand and scowled, "I do not need a nurse-maid." Sirius shrugged, his good deed done for the day. Snape set the goblet in front of Remus. "Drink this."

Remus obediently took it up and drank half, pausing for breath. He smacked his lips with a look of mild disgust. "What is it?"

"A combination of Feverfew herb, Devil's claw root, and a carefully leveled portion of a previously created elixir."

Lupin had finished drinking the remains of the glass as Snape spoke. He passed the goblet back and made a face. "What elixir?" Sirius interjected with a low tone.

Snape narrowed his eyes and idly put his hand in his pocket. "The roughly translated name is: Tonic of the Inner Wolf. It is a variation from Russia."

Sirius scowled and set his fork carefully onto the table. "The potion with liquid silver?"

Remus stiffened in his seat and found he could no longer breath.

"Yes."

Sirius stood slowly from the table, blue eyes hard as flint as he paced around the table like a predator after prey. "I told you he wouldn't take it."

The potions master sneered, "Too late, Black, he already has."

In a leaping tumble, Sirius launched at Severus and shook him about by the lapels. Snape's hand came from his pocket clutching his wand. He jabbed it viciously into Sirius' throat. The animagus stopped shaking him but didn't let him go.

"If you make him sick you evil bastard, I will cleave you into pieces!" Black hissed.

"Stop!" Remus shouted, pushing back his chair and moving around so that he stood beside the two men. "Sirius, let him go."

"Remus, he's poisoning you!" The animagus howled, trying to glare from the corner of his eyes since he didn't quite dare move his head with the wand digging into his neck.

"No, Sirius, I trust Severus with this," The werewolf lightly touched Sirius' shoulder, willing his friend to leave it be.

"Why, Remus? He's just fed you silver!"

"Because he's been there for me!" Remus howled, eyes flashing. He saw Sirius' face crumple and shutter but he was too angry to care at the moment. "You decided to gallivant off, Sirius. Lily and James were dead and the only other person that knew what I was could care less if I was dead too."

The wand at his throat wavered at that and Sirius turned his head finally as Severus' arm dropped to his side like dead weight.

"I couldn't help it, Remy," Sirius spoke quietly, voice tinged in pain.

"You didn't have to run off to find Pettigrew," Remus snapped. "You never could let things be. They would have found him and you never would have gone off. Never would have left. At least Severus' personality is reliable."

Sirius let go of Snape entirely, his tiff with the man was entirely forgotten as Remus' breakdown took priority. "I couldn't stand by and let that fucking rat get away with what he'd done!"

"But he did," Remus growled, "and the only friend I had left had just as well as died."

"It wasn't about you, Remus. Or me." Sirius raked his hands through his hair and began to pace.

"Forgive me for wanting to be a little selfish," Remus whispered brokenly. "Perhaps I should have followed suit and eaten a few children. Surely my being thrown to Azkaban to keep you company would have been an easier option than keeping you out of trouble."

The werewolf spun and stalked out of the room, heaving the table out of his way as he went. The heavy oak furniture fell on its side with a crash against the far wall, three chairs caught beneath it were broken to kindling.

"Damn his mood swings," Sirius grumbled, struggling to right the table and having little success.

"It was not a mood swing, Black. Lupin has just said to you what he has wanted to for the past thirteen years." Severus intoned, levitating the table with his wand and setting it upright.

"You don't know what you're talking about," the animagus growled.

Snape didn't bother to correct him again. Instead he leaned against the counter and watched as Black rearranged the kitchen to order.

"Stop fussing with that blasted chair and go talk to him," Severus finally snapped after watching for nearly twenty minutes.

"I have nothing to say at the moment," Sirius hissed.

"Perhaps you don't, but he might. This is good for him, Black, even if you can't take the criticism. Remember, he needs to purge the negative emotion and stigma's he has gathered about himself. He is still very much ill." Snape snatched a chair leg from Sirius' hands and pointed at the doorway with it.

"Fine," Sirius grunted. He stalked from the room and stomped up the stairs two at a time.

Snape sneered as he watched him go and fixed the broken seat easily with his wand. He was sure that Sirius had thought of doing the same thing but wanted to dawdle.

He distantly heard Black knock on Remus' door and sat down into the chair he had just fixed. Remus' outburst had affected more than Sirius. The lycanthrope's admission that he believed Severus would rather he be dead was a blow. Severus had never wanted Lupin dead. Well, maybe for a while after the Whomping Willow incident.

It was only after a careful reanalyzation of the events that Snape put the hatred in the right place. Namely, Sirius Black. The animagus had been the one to lure him to the tree knowing full well what was inside. Remus had no control over himself at the time.

If he was honest with himself, he had actually pitied Lupin for some time. It had been partly this pity that made him begin to research what could be done to help. After a few years of nothing forthcoming, he stumbled across a very old and highly unrefined potion. It had taken another two years before he had a working composition of Wolfsbane. Even now he still tweaked and fiddled with its components to perfect it.

After spending various amounts of time with Lupin during the trial runs, Severus had learned more about the man than he had known the entire time they were in school together. He began to grudgingly respect the hell that Lupin went through, even if he would never admit it to anyone but himself.

With a grunt, Severus decided to attempt a productive morning. He heard murmurs instead of shouts from Remus' room and snorted. Of course the close-knit duo would not be able to hold a grudge. At least he wouldn't have to referee.

...oOo...

Things between them had calmed considerably and now Sirius was reclined against Remus' headboard with the lycan laying across the foot of the bed staring at the ceiling.

"I never meant to leave you behind, Remy. I was too caught up in finding Peter."

"I know," Remus whispered. "I'm still mad at you for running like that. Probably always will be," he said matter-of-factly.

Sirius smiled bitterly at the wall, "I know."

"Doesn't mean I'm not overjoyed you've come back," Remus rolled onto his side and patted Sirius calf.

The animagus laughed, "It's certainly nice to be wanted."

The wolf flushed a little and rolled back to face the ceiling.

"You never did tell me why you trusted Snape." Sirius prodded gently.

With a soft sigh, Remus rubbed his thumbs into his eye sockets. "It didn't happen all at once, you realize?" He sat up and folded his legs underneath him so that he could face Sirius. "Did you know he did independent research to find the first Wolfsbane potion?"

"No," Sirius frowned.

"I still don't know why he started looking in the first place. I even asked Albus if he made him, I didn't want Severus to feel even more alienated from me by forcing him to do tedious extra work." Remus grinned at the memory. Albus had been so genuinely surprised that Lupin realized the Headmaster hadn't even known Severus was working on the potion.

"I had to tell him everything about how I felt, how I worked," Remus made a face, "it was horribly embarrassing at first... writing down every time I had a bowel movement for god's sake. Eventually it got to the point that I didn't have to tell him when something was no longer normal. I'd say, 'I slept past lunch.' and he would know it wasn't just my being lazy. He began to know my schedule better than I did."

"And because of that you trust him?" Sirius didn't look entirely convinced.

"Partly. He never told anyone about my being his test subject. Even in his publishing and notes he never once mentions my name or any telling characteristics. If he really only wanted me to drink his vile concoctions he wouldn't have done that for me." Remus smiled wistfully.

Sirius took a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it out in a whoosh. He would simply have to accept Remus's faith in Snape.

"Alright, Remy. I'll try harder," the animagus promised.

"You don't have to," Remus sighed. "You've gone amazingly far already."

"Thank you for noticing," Sirius grinned.

"I just wish Severus could break away from whatever funk keeps him distant." Remus toyed with the coverlets.

"It's Snape," Sirius huffed. "It's his job to be cold and distant."

Remus shrugged, unable to deny it and they fell into a comfortable silence. The warmth of the morning sun sapped the energy from his bones. He had had a long, sleepless night before stumbling into Sirius' room. Then he had only had possibly three hours sleep before Severus woke them.

The lycan stretched out on his bed and flung the coverlets across his legs. He enjoyed the warmth at his side from Sirius and felt the pull of sleep sucking him into oblivion. He was just in limbo as he felt warm, chapped lips brush his forehead.

"Sweet sleep, Moony," Sirius' voice whispered.

The door clicked shut and Remus' eyes snapped open. A warm, wriggly mass spread through his stomach and he smiled into his pillow as he drifted off again.

...oOo...

When Remus woke again it was dark. His head felt stuffed with cotton and muted noises of laughter rang from downstairs.

With a pang, Remus realized he didn't dare go down there to investigate. It sounded as though more than just Sirius and Severus were in the house. In all likelihood, there could be a few Order members there. He didn't want them to see him like this.

He was grudgingly settling down to a long stay by himself when fate decided to go against him again. Pain lanced down his forearm and into each finger like long, hot needles. His clawed hand spasmed open and shut. Remus wanted to bite his tongue to keep from making any noise but remembered just in time not to. It would have been his luck that he would have cut his tongue clean off with his new, sharper teeth.

The agony was nearly crippling his whole arm to the shoulder. With a whimper, Remus knew he couldn't hide in his room with this. He had to tell Severus.

The door to his room banged open loudly as he pulled a little too hard. The sounds from downstairs stopped momentarily before continuing in a much quieter volume. Sirius soon appeared coming up the stairs.

"Remus, are you alright?"

The werewolf shook his head. "Where's Severus?" He grunted, again forcing himself not to chew on his tongue.

"Downstairs, wait a second," Sirius turned so quickly Remus was afraid he was going to fall down them.

Of course, Sirius couldn't be discrete when he was worried and so the whole house soon knew there was a problem as the animagus' banging footfalls were matched with yelling. "Snape! Something's wrong with Remus!"

Mercifully the man went quiet as, no doubt, Severus had found him and quailed him with a glare. Soon the potions master's head was bobbing up the stairs. He didn't even bother to ask what was wrong and drew Remus into his rooms.

"Curl your fingers," Snape demanded, watching the agony on Lupin's face as he tried. "Stretch them out."

"Merlin, it hurts," Remus moaned, unable to do more than make them twitch.

"What do you see, Lupin?"

The werewolf glanced at Snape, confused. Severus grabbed him by the wrist and Remus cried out in pain. "This, Lupin, what do you see?"

"I don't know," he gasped out.

Severus squeezed a little and growled, "No. Tell me."

"A-a claw," Remus glanced at Snape and knew he hadn't said enough. "A monster's claw."

"A monster's claw," Severus said mildly, still not releasing his hand. "This is your hand!" He erupted. "Yours! It is attached to your body!"

"Yes," Remus said in a small voice.

"What is it? What do you see?" Severus repeated, his voice was harsh.

"My hand," Remus whimpered, clenching his eyes shut.

A sound slap across his face drew him back. His cheek stung and his arm still laced with fire. Snape was snarling. "It is your hand. A clawed, disfigured hand that could crush a man's skull. Do you understand me?" Remus nodded, anger and revulsion roiling in his stomach. "What do you feel right now, Lupin? Are you angry with me?"

"Yes," Remus bit out.

Severus sneered, "Angry enough to hurt me? Tear out my throat?"

"No," Remus gaped, horrified.

"Good."

The potions master hauled him forward until Remus bounced off of his chest and stumbled back a step. Severus held up his crooked hand and shook it. "Look at it, Lupin. It has been part of your body for nearly two full days and you haven't even looked at it."

With a low, continuous whine, Remus turned his eyes painfully toward his hand and swallowed back the bile in his throat. It was hideous.

"What do you see?" Severus asked again, his voice much calmer.

"My hand," Remus said with little conviction but a lot of feeling.

"Curl your fingers," Snape instructed.

Remus nodded, concentrating on flexing his fingers. The pain increased unbelievably and his knees grew weak. Severus' free arm slung around his waist and held him upright. He dragged them both toward his bed and sat them down. He stayed close.

"Filter the pain, Lupin. Remember what it feels like to change, this is nothing," Severus hissed into his ear. Slowly his fingers curled down a bit further. "Remember your reversion, how your muscles and bones ache but feel achingly good. So good to be back in your own body." Snape's low voice soothed his raw nerves like salve.

"It does," Remus admitted in grunts. In another shaky moment his fingers curled into a fist.

"Remember the ache, Lupin." Snape drew in a shaking breath and spoke in a quavering voice, "I know you watch your hands when you change. Watch it, think of your hand, your normal hand... your human hand. Think of it, then make it."

"Wha--"

"Do it," Severus hissed.

So Remus watched, and concentrated. The pain flared white-hot and prickling. From the tips of his fingers down, it increased until Lupin was sure his hand would have been a mangled mass of flesh. He couldn't hold it in any longer and a fierce growling howl ripped from his chest and echoed in Severus' room.

He vaguely heard Sirius pounding on Snape's locked door. All he could really hear was the rushing of blood in his ears and Snape's incessant voice whispering that he could to it. When his hand first began to revert he was so surprised he almost stopped concentrating. Severus let out a triumphant shout and Remus found the strength to redouble his efforts.

The pain ebbed out slowly and Remus stared in shock at his normal hand. All five fingers and calloused palm. Severus had not yet released him.

"What do you see?"

Remus turned his head a fraction of an inch to look at Severus' face. The potions master looked proud and elated. Remus' heart-rate quickened and he held his breath. The man had never looked so human.

"My hand," he blurted. He flexed his fingers carefully and let out a breathy laugh, there was no pain.

"What was it?" Severus asked softly, finally letting Remus go but still not sitting back and away from him. His breath brushed across Lupin's cheek.

Remus watched as the white finger marks on his wrist filled with blood and stayed a brilliant crimson. He hadn't realized Severus was holding on so tightly. "My hand. It was always my hand."

"Very good, Lupin," Severus smiled a little, a mere curling at the corners of his lips. Remus was stunned.

"How did you... how did you do that?"

"I didn't do it, Lupin. You did." Severus smirked at Remus' gape.

"GOD DAMMIT WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE?!" Sirius pounded at the door, effectively ruining the easy moment between them.

"Your dog wants in," Severus sneered, standing up and making himself busy by tidying a pile of books that were already neatly stacked.

Remus unlocked Snape's door and let Sirius in.

"What happened? What did he do?" Sirius barked, glaring daggers at Snape's back.

Lupin punched him in the shoulder, "This, Sirius," and he laughed as he held his hands in front of Sirius' face. "He did this!"

"Sweet Merlin," Sirius breathed. "Remus this is great!" The animagus hugged him to his chest and picked him off of the floor.

He set Remus back on his feet and ran into the hallway to send word to Albus. The Headmaster would be as happy as they were.

"Thank you, Severus," Remus called gently from the doorway. "I'm not sure how you knew how to do it, but I can't thank you enough."

Snape still stood with his back to him, "It's not over yet, Lupin." He turned his head so that one onyx eye peered over his shoulder. "But a bit of blind faith isn't always a bad thing."

Remus smiled and hesitated in the doorway. He gathered his courage and strode up behind Snape before he could lose his will. Before Severus could turn around, Remus wrapped his arms tightly around the man's waist and hugged him quickly. He was already out of Snape's room by the time Severus registered what had happened.

Damned bloody fool, Severus snarled to himself. Heedless of his attempt at ire, a deep-seated ache blossomed in his stomach. No one had dared touch him with such innocent intimacy as a hug since he was seven years old.


	10. Strains in Silence

_a/n: I know well enough that everyone is busy with their noses in the final installment... I finished the book the same day I bought it and figured I had no excuses left to leave this story neglected. Please enjoy._

---

Sirius and Remus celebrated the success of the day in the den with a large bowl of chocolate ice cream. Remus had idly curled and uncurled his fingers nonstop for the first hour. Now, it was as though nothing had happened at all.

"I wonder what Severus is doing?" Remus whistled, licking ice cream off of the back of his spoon.

"Who cares?" Sirius blurted. He looked abashed as Remus glared, "I imagine he does whatever he usually does when he's alone. Reading and brooding."

The lycanthrope sighed heavily and took a large bite of ice cream. "Probably."

Tonks and Kingsley had popped in on Order business and stayed for some badly made stir-fry a la Sirius Black. It had been edible and both visitors were nearly starving. They ate the slop quickly enough to negate all the awful things they said about Sirius' cooking.

Earlier in the day, during Remus' trial, Tonks had been nervously worried in the kitchen the whole time. Sirius had secretly hoped she would come upstairs and try to comfort his friend, to prove to Remus that he was wanted, but the woman was too flighty. In the end, the pixie faced woman had only blushed and stuttered a hello when Remus came downstairs.

Now, the two of them were alone enjoying their ice cream and the silence of the evening. Only the crackling of the fire of the den and the tap of their spoons broke it.

Remus' ears perked at a faint strain of music. He cocked his head and paused, spoon hanging haphazardly from his lips. "Sirius, do you hear something?"

The animagus shook his head, "Nope."

Shrugging, Remus returned to his dessert. After a few minutes he found himself humming lightly to a vaguely familiar tune. It got so stuck into his head that he could swear he heard the music.

"What is that?" Sirius paused, spoon dropping to the bottom of his empty bowl.

"Hmm?" Remus stopped humming and the sound of music grew a bit sharper. It still was not very loud, but it was certainly distinguishable in the silence. "Do you have a phonograph Sirius?"

"A what?" The animagus stood sticking his head into the hallway. His eyes were wide, "It's coming from upstairs," he pointed with his bowl.

"Really?" Remus was immensely curious. He set his bowl on the floor and followed Sirius into the hall. The other wizard had been right, the music was a bit louder here and seemed to be coming down the stairwell. "You don't supposed Severus brought a phonograph with him?"

"Something muggle? Snape?" Sirius made a rude noise with his mouth and rolled his eyes.

"It's a thought," Remus mumbled, a little grumpy.

The music skipped, soured, and then stopped altogether. The two Gryffindors looked at each other and climbed the stairs as quietly as they could.

Severus' door was shut, a light shining under the door crack. Sirius and Remus stood facing each other in the dim light of the hall. They made fervent hand gestures at each other, trying to communicate like two wayward students trying not to get caught after hours.

"Bend damn you," Snape swore from the inside. His shadow moved underneath the door and both Remus and Sirius startled. The man mumbled to himself for another moment before the music began again, sketchy and stuttering. It stopped abruptly, "Dammit!"

"What's going on in there?" Remus whispered. Sirius shrugged and edged his way closer to the door.

The animagus touched the doorknob, curling his fingers carefully around it when Remus slapped him smartly on the shoulder. 'Ow!' He mouthed with a glare.

"What are you doing?" Remus hissed.

"Taking a look," Sirius grinned, turning the knob in his hand.

Before Remus could snag a hold of him, Sirius pushed the door open an inch and put a finger to his lips to keep Remus silent. The werewolf scowled, crossing his arms over his chest as though trying to prove he was the bigger man. It only took Sirius looking surprised to make the wolf press his face over Sirius' shoulder to see.

Severus was back to them, a violin and bow held in his right hand. He was carefully flexing his left. The fingers were stiff and jerky. From the distance, they could just see a small crimson spot in the palm of his bandages where his wound was pulling open.

They watched in wonder as Snape put the violin under his chin and curled his unwilling fingers around the neck. After a rather painful looking moment when he forced his fingers to the strings with his right hand, he set the bow to the strings and played a slow chord.

There was a slight pause as Severus hissed in pain as he adjusted his fingers, and then he played another. Though they were short and sometimes abrupt, the notes he played and the melody were beautiful.

Remus smiled softly to himself and settled his chin on Sirius' shoulder. "Wow," he breathed.

Sirius nodded, daring to push the door open another couple of inches. The hinges squealed and both eavesdroppers stiffened as the bow fell nerveless from Snape's fingers.

The darker wizard spun harshly on his heel. He hugged the violin to his chest as he turned, his face filling with color and ebony eyes wide in near panic. After a shaky moment, Severus blinked and he lowered the instrument to the bed behind him. "What do you want?" He growled.

"We heard you playing," Remus spoke carefully, his eyes searching for something on Severus' face. The potions master looked different when he realized he was being spied on... as though he were caught at something vile.

"What's the matter, Snape, you look like you've taken one of your own potions?" Sirius smirked half-heartedly. He had seen the panic on Severus' face as well.

Snape seemed to ignore Sirius' comment altogether. He bent and quickly snatched up the bow, stowing it quickly in the violin case that sat open on his desk. He put the instrument away and quickly hid the whole thing under his bed.

"I didn't mean to disturb you," Severus mumbled, busying himself with texts and vials.

"It was very good, actually," Sirius admitted readily.

The text in Snape's hands fell to the floor with a bang. Severus fell to the floor on his hands and knees and shooed them away without looking up. "Please leave."

Remus took a step in, sharing a worried look with Sirius. "Severus are you--"

"Now." Snape spat as he gathered the text up in the folds of his robe. He hadn't stood up from the floor, just remained bent in on himself with the book held tightly to his stomach.

The werewolf took another step in but Sirius snagged hold of his robe and tugged him back. The animagus shook his head and pulled Remus back out of the doorway. "Right. Um, we'll be... somewhere if you need us."

Severus waved his wand at the door and it slammed soundly in their faces.

"That was strange," Sirius mumbled at the wood. He looked over at Remus, the wolf had a saddened and determined look on his face. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Did you notice how he clutched at that violin?" Remus intoned mildly. He walked down the hall to his room, waving Sirius after him. It would be very rude and very stupid to have this conversation right outside Severus' room.

"Yea..." Sirius scratched at his head and dropped onto Lupin's bed.

"It was like he expected us to take it from him." Remus narrowed his eyes as he thought and idly tugged at a strand of his hair.

"Do you think someone used to take it?" Sirius tried valiantly to pick up on his friend's thought. "I mean it's obvious if he tried to protect it that it has some kind of value."

"Yes," Lupin nodded. "The actual violin looked a bit beat up too, now that I think about it."

"I didn't notice," Sirius shrugged.

"It looks old. Sort of like Harry's glasses," Remus smiled sadly.

"How do you mean?" The animagus was struggling to connect anything of Harry's to anything of Snape's.

"Like they've been fixed numerous times," the wolf frowned. "Fixed by an amateur hand."

Sirius suddenly frowned and his eyebrows furrowed deeply in anger. "You're saying someone broke it... repeatedly."

"That's what it looks like," Remus nodded.

"You know," Sirius was suddenly vehement, "I found a scar on Snape's back. It was shaped like a belt buckle."

Remus shook his head, sickened by the news and silently sympathetic. Sirius had a drawn and distant look in his eyes and Lupin knew he had lost his friend to memories for the time being.

"When I was a kid," Sirius spoke eerily quiet, "I used to sit in my closet and imagine what it was like to live in a home. An actual home, not just a house with other people in it. I used to flinch at the sound of a belt clearing belt-loops. I swore over and over that I wouldn't wish that kind of abuse on my worst enemy."

Sirius blue eyes were pained when he looked up at Remus. "Snape might have been my enemy then, but he was not the worst one. At least I never got scars... not like his."

"You couldn't have prevented it, Sirius. For god's sake you didn't even know Severus when it happened."

"How do you know?" Sirius fumed. "I made his life Hell in school. He might have had a sanctuary at Hogwart's if I hadn't been there."

"Sirius, stop," Remus snapped, literally taking hold of the animagus and shaking him. "Stop. You didn't know. I can't deal with your self-pity."

The man flinched at what Remus said. "I know. I'm sorry. It just... Merlin things like that make me so angry."

"Good. That means your human," Lupin smiled sadly. "I just hope Severus doesn't shut down again. I was actually hoping to get to know him a little while he's here."

Sirius grinned, "Oh really? And here I've been trying to push Tonks on you. I guess I've been barking up the wrong tree."

Remus colored slightly and sputtered indignantly. "Sirius that's not what I--"

"Relax, Moony," Sirius laughed. "I was just joking."

"Right," Remus grinned weakly.

"I'm not saying I wouldn't help if you did... go that way," Sirius scratched the back of his neck. "Do you, uh..."

"Go that way?" Remus finished. "I don't know anymore," he admitted, color flooding his face even as he willed it not to. "It's been a very lonely life for me, Sirius, you know that."

"I know," Sirius nodded, feeling ashamed for bringing it up. He did know that Remus had very few friends. He had been so adamant about keeping people away from him, for their own 'protection', that he didn't try to make a relationship. As Remus so often put it, 'Who would want a werewolf lover anyway?'

"Never mind that," Remus said sternly, pushing the depressing thoughts from his head. "We should find a way to help Severus. Maybe we can convince him to play again, so long as we show we don't mind that he does."

"Sure," Sirius nodded. "I don't know if he can though, Remy. His hand is still banged up pretty badly. Maybe he was only playing now to prove he still could once he healed."

"Maybe," Lupin frowned. He had rather hoped that Snape would play again. If Severus was doing so much work to help him with his problems, maybe he could help Severus in return.

Sirius stood and stretched, "Think about it in the morning, Remus. It's too late for philosophical stuff tonight."

The wolf nodded in agreement. It was likely that things would be clearer after he got some sleep. That was if he could sleep.

"Right, goodnight then, Sirius." Remus smiled and went to his bathroom, preparing for bed.

It was difficult to brush his teeth, he had to be conscious of the pressure he used. Needless, he managed well enough having had practice with it the last two days. He tugged his robe off and hung it on the back of his bathroom door, then carefully pulled his shirt off. The crescent scar was still open and red. It hadn't yet begun to pull together.

With a frown, Remus prodded at it. The medication that Severus had applied to it was still working. It did not hurt and did not bleed but it was certainly still fresh-looking.

The reflection of his hand in the mirror made him smile a little. He curled his hand into a fist and then stretched each finger open again. The sight of it reminded him of the soft face that Severus had shared with him only moments after the reversion. It would be phenomenal to see that look again.

"And I will," Remus affirmed with his reflection. It was his personal mission from this night on to make Severus comfortable with him. Comfortable enough to smile, to play his secret violin and maybe even share something else...

Lupin blinked at himself in surprise. He wanted to show Snape that someone could care for him, that he was worthy of being cared for. In his mind he aligned Sirius and Severus, then shook his head. He wanted them both, in whatever manner of want they would accept from him.

...oOo...

Severus heard the two of them talking to each other as they went down the hallway. The rush of blood in his ears prevented him from knowing exactly what they said, but he knew that they were speaking of him.

He picked himself up from the floor, still clutching the tome. His hands were shaking when he returned it to the table and he cursed himself for his weakness. There had been no reason to panic as he did.

The violin case slid out from beneath his bed. Severus returned it to the desk and popped the latch. Reverently, he pulled the instrument from the velvet lining and turned it over in his hands. It had been years since he had played. He wasn't even sure why he had packed the thing to take with him.

Remembering to silence his room this time, Severus propped the violin under his chin and ran his fingers across the strings. His mother had bought him his first violin with the promise to keep it safe and hidden from his father.

As a child, Severus didn't know why to keep it so private, but he understood that his mother was serious and had made a child's promise. He had been taking short lessons once a month for five years. His mother was with him every time, smiling as he played and reaffirming his promise as they returned home.

It was only when he had turned ten that he realized why he only had his lessons so infrequently. The last Sunday of every month, his father was away with several of his cronies for nearly the entire day. The man left just as the sun rose and returned promptly at one fifteen in the A.M.

He had kept his mother's promise for years. He only played when he knew his father would not hear. In the deep cellars of their house, Severus spent hours during the week playing in the pitch darkness without the use of music sheets. His mother knew where he went and more than once had kept his father's attention when she knew where her son had gone and what he was doing.

The summer before his first year at Hogwart's, Severus had learned to play a very complicated piece. At their Sunday session, the teacher had sat back down and waved a proud hand airily at him.

"I can do no more," the man had said.

Severus saw his mother weeping and he promised he would try harder. She had smiled at him through her tears and hugged him tightly. He was confused and made his child's promise again as they left.

It was unfortunate, then, that he thought his father might be proud of him for once. As the man stumbled in drunk that night, young Severus had brought the instrument forth and began to play the piece he had learned by heart.

The violin was jerked from his hands and he watched in anger and hurt as the man twisted the delicate thing and broke the neck free. His father sneered and threw it toward the fireplace and began to yell and rave. Severus had scooped the instrument from the hot coals and low flickers of flame.

When he looked up he saw his father wrapping the length of his belt around a fist. Severus curled himself around his mother's precious gift and bit his tongue as his father beat him until the man passed out.

His mother found him there, weeping and bleeding, wrapped around what remained of his violin. She didn't say a word about Severus breaking his promise, but took him to his room to treat him quickly.

It took another few years before Severus realized that him mother did not cry as she bound his back, but when she found the blisters and burns on his hands as she took the ruined remains of wire and wood from them, she sobbed.

"Enough," Severus snapped, coming back to himself and putting the violin in his hands away. He would not think of the man. His father was long since dead, and the only way a person lived on was by being remembered. He wanted the man truly dead, and so he would never think of him.

...oOo...

Sirius woke feeling oddly unsatisfied. He was rubbing sleep from his eyes in only his pajama bottoms as he ambled into the kitchen. His dreams were foggy and distant, it was disconcerting.

He came up short by the table and curled his nose. The row of cauldrons had returned to the side board. Each of them were bubbling something else noxious to his nose. "Groh," Sirius grimaced, turning his head toward the entry to catch a fresh breath.

"Black," Severus sounded surprised. Sirius turned back to see the potions master coming from the pantry with a fistful of herbs.

"Merlin, Snape, what are you doing? Washing all of Albus's socks at once?" Sirius clapped a hand over his nose and mouth and dared to come in further.

"You're up earlier than I expected," Snape muttered, depositing the herbs to the sideboard amongst other piles of plants.

The animagus brushed past Severus on the way to the sink and felt the man stiffen. Sirius frowned, "No matter, I'll just eat in the den."

Neither spoke for a time as Snape chopped and Sirius fumbled through the cabinets for breakfast. He came out with a half package of instant oatmeal. Shrugging, Sirius poured one packet into a bowl and took the kettle from the fire.

As Sirius stirred his mush he glanced up to watch Snape work. The man was methodical and precise.

"Are those more things for Remus to take?"

"No," Severus continued stirring and didn't bother to note Sirius' reaction.

"Then what are they for?"

Snape paused, his shoulders were stiff and high. "Various things," he spoke finally.

Sirius rolled his eyes and stalked to the den with his bowl in his hand. He wasn't about to argue with Snape first thing in the morning; especially if he wanted a straight answer. He wasn't even sure if Severus could answer a question bluntly after so many years of spying.

A grumbling werewolf came thumping down the stairs. Sirius grinned as Remus came staggering in and collapsed next to him on the sofa.

"Morning, Moony," he greeted him around a mouthful of oatmeal.

"Where's Severus?" Remus asked during a mouth splitting yawn.

"Follow the smell," Sirius grumbled. "He's back to his potions in the kitchen."

"Really?" Remus had a sleepily worried face.

"They aren't for you, I've already asked." Sirius grinned as Remus sighed in relief. Remus stood and began to unbutton his shirt as he made his way out of the den. "Uh, Remus, what are you doing?"

"Going to see, Severus."

"Without a shirt?" Sirius asked, both eyebrows nested in his hairline.

Remus colored brightly, "I want him to look at my shoulder." He sounded exasperated as he left the den and crossed to the kitchen.

Snape was where Sirius had left him, chopping ingredients in front of his cauldrons.

"Uh, Severus, could I bother you for a moment," Remus tried to peek past the man to see what he was making but couldn't quite look beyond.

"You already have, do you want another moment?" Snape grumbled.

"Yes," Remus tugged the shirt from his shoulders as Severus turned around. The potions master rose an eyebrow as the lycan stripped. "Would you look at this, please?"

Snape's attention turned to the scar and his business face fell into place. "Have you had any pain or drainage?" He turned Lupin into the sunlight and pressed his fingers into the tissue.

"No, but I was hoping it looked better," Remus tried to look down at it but could only see one edge.

Severus made little grunting noises and fumbled to remove his notebook from his back pocket. He turned to set it down and wrote a few brief notes before turning back. "It appears to be holding steady. Turn around."

Remus obeyed and stared at the kitchen sink. Gooseflesh rose up his arms as Snape's fingertips ghosted around his skin. He felt another blush start in his cheeks and willed it away.

"Hmm," Severus paused, thumb pressed against the bottom curve of scar tissue. The flat of his palm pressed into Remus' lower back and pushed gently. Remus moved easily with him. "I wonder," Snape murmured. His breath passed across the back of Remus' neck. The flush of his cheeks deepened.

"What is it?" Lupin asked a bit breathless. He knew Snape was not touching him to try to get a rise from him, but only a handful of people had ever been that intimately close. It didn't help that he now considered Severus a bit of tempting prey.

"This bit of scar is starting to knit," Severus mumbled. "Not much, but it's started."

Snape drew away and gripped hold of the collar of Remus' shirt, tugging it up in a manner that meant for Lupin to put his clothing back on. Remus shrugged the top on and buttoned it most of the way.

"What does it mean?"

"First guess? That you are beginning to accept who you are." Snape returned to his cauldrons. "I will consult my texts later."

"Thank you," Remus murmured. He had been dismissed. Sulking, he returned to the den and sat down dejectedly near Sirius.

"What did he say?"

Remus sighed, "It looks like things are getting better."

"You don't sound excited, Moony. This is good news," Sirius beamed, wrapping his arm around his friend's shoulders.

The lycan smiled a little, "It is."

"What shall we do today, Moony?" Sirius stretched and set his bowl on the floor. "Anything you want."

Remus settled back and looked pensive. "First, breakfast." He grinned as his stomach growled. "Then, we'll play it by ear."

"Good enough!" Sirius grinned, snatching up his empty bowl. He bowed low at the waist, "What does master want for breakfast?"

Sirius' ebony hair fell in messy waves across his face and showed the man's back and shoulder muscles quite nicely. Remus smirked and thought of something wicked for breakfast but quelled the thought. "Toast and tea."

The animagus made a face and stood erect again. He let out an exasperated noise and rolled his eyes. "Remy, you can't have toast and tea!"

"Why not?"

"It's a big day! Big days require large feasts!"

"Alright then," Remus laughed. "Toast, tea and a peach."

"Oh, Moony," Sirius groaned. "You're killing me." He whined and muttered his entire way into the kitchen. And much to Remus amusement, the animagus whined and muttered the entire way back as well. "Your toast and tea," Sirius stuck out his tongue as he offered the saucer and mug over.

"Thanks, Siri."

Despite his amusement with Remus' choice of victory breakfast, Sirius couldn't have been more elated that his friend was beginning to heal. As Remus chewed on his toast, Sirius had to grudgingly admit that none of it would have been possible without Snape's help.

---

_additional: A pitiful request, but I would absoultely love to see Snape playing the violin... if any artists would like to try, I would love to see them._


	11. Cock Up

The morning passed quickly with the arrival of the Weasley brood. However, what mattered the most to one Sirius Black was the grinning face of Harry Potter who followed Ron into the house.

"Harry!" The animagus lept from his seat in the den and literally ran over two of the Weasley's to pick his godson up in a giant hug. The raven haired young man clutched onto his godfather for dear life, afraid to be shaken to pieces and beaming. "It's good to see you young man!"

"Thanks," Harry grinned. "It's good to see you too."

Remus stood from his seat on the opposite side of the Exploding Snap table and tugged his robe shut a little more. He nodded politely and made his way upstairs to dress. If he had known they would have so much company he would have earlier.

A bit embarrassed by the stares that followed him, he stayed in his room a few minutes extra after he dressed. Across the hall, Severus' door was shut and he could hear the man moving about inside.

"Severus?" Remus knocked lightly.

"What do you want?" Snape barked from the inside without opening his door.

"Molly and Arthur are here with the children. Would you like to come down and visit?"

The door snatched open and Snape's glowering face made Remus regret stopping to ask. "If I wanted to be annoyed beyond belief and have my IQ points lowered to a dullard degree, I would have returned to my teaching post against Albus' wishes," he hissed.

"Alright," Remus frowned. "I'm sorry for bothering you."

Severus snorted, but the look of intense irritation faded on his face to a vague look of distaste. "I'll be sure to speak to Molly before she leaves. It will give you some peace from her, at least."

The wolf smiled a little, "Thank you."

"Hnn." Snape toed the door shut none-too-gently and Remus shook his head as he returned downstairs.

"Remus!" Molly latched onto his arm as soon as he was within grabbing distance and dragged him into the kitchen. She pushed the door mostly too and gave him a very stern once over. "How are you feeling? And don't lie to me, I'm a mother of seven children, I'll know if you do."

"I'm doing better." Remus told her. The woman didn't look the least bit convinced. "Honestly, Molly. Severus has been working carefully with me. Just this morning he said things were looking up."

"Very well," Molly nodded, still clutching his hands in hers. "I believe you. Now," She eyed his mouth for a moment and then glanced up to his eyes. "What has happened to you?"

Remus felt his skin flush with color and he looked down at his feet. "I'm sorry," his stomach fell to his feet. "Should I stay upstairs until you've all gone. I forgot about it." He shook her hands off and gingerly touched at his lips. His large, overly-sharp teeth were packed tightly in his jaw. He'd forgotten about his deformity in the joy of the morning.

"Nonsense," Molly gasped. She took Remus face in her hands and forced him to look up at her. "There is nothing here to be ashamed of. You're still sick. And I'm sorry that I was so blunt," she finished softly.

Remus smiled weakly. "It's alright, Molly. Only a couple of days ago, even Tonks and Kingsley had a hard time looking at me. I don't want to frighten the children."

"Oh dear," Molly hugged him tightly. "Come on," she said sternly, dragging him from the kitchen just as easily as she had hauled him in.

The kids had all lounged about in the den, laughing and chattering with Sirius as the animagus told raucous stories to Harry. "Remus," Sirius barked out in laughter, "Come here and help me tell Harry about when James got his arm stuck in the prefect's bathroom loo!"

Remus reluctantly entered, noticing how the Weasley children quieted and elbowed each other. "I'm afraid I wasn't there for that one, Padfoot."

"Cor, professor, what happened to your face?" Ron blurted, flushing red and wincing as Hermione pinched him repeatedly for his stupidity.

"What Ronald meant to say, is that we're glad to see you up and about." Hermione smiled softly, sending a scathing glare at her friend.

"You heard I was ill then," Remus nodded, knowing that even if they hadn't heard officially, the little bushy-haired witch had probably figured it out weeks ago when they had visited Hogwart's. "I am getting better, slowly," Remus admitted. He was amazed to see that with his highly vague and short explanation that all of them seemed appeased with his presence.

"We heard Snape is sick too," Harry said suddenly. Both Sirius and Remus gazed at him in surprise.

"Professor Snape is on sabbatical, Harry," Remus amended.

"Yea, that's what we were told," Ron rolled his eyes. He leaned forward conspiratorially, ignoring the rolling eyes of Hermione. "But we saw him leaving the gate with a whole trunk behind him. He was raving mad, talking to himself and waving his arms about."

"I highly doubt your medical opinion, Mr. Weasley."

Ron blanched and sat back in his chair, slowly sinking into it like a puddle.

"I see you've come down then," Sirius frowned. Snape had paused outside of the den doorway and was looking highly irritated.

Severus sneered, "Quite obviously. Sit up, Mr. Weasley. Poor posture does not become you." The potions master turned on heel and stalked into the kitchen where Molly had returned to make tea.

Ron swallowed hard, "You didn't tell me he was here," he squeaked.

"Why is he here?" Harry muttered, eyes on the doorway just waiting for Snape to pop back in.

"He's--"

"Assisting me," Remus interrupted. He wasn't sure what Sirius was going to say, but time and trial had told him that nine times out of ten, it would not have been the proper thing to tell impressionable children.

"Professor Lupin!" Hermione gasped, palm to her mouth. She pointed with one at him but couldn't seem to gather herself enough to speak again.

The rest of the room's occupants turned to look and half a dozen sets of eyes widened. Remus looked down at himself and frowned.

"There Moony," Sirius stood from his chair and tugged his friend into the hall. "Your scar is bleeding." The animagus frowned and pushed him toward the kitchen.

Severus and Molly were sitting at the table talking quietly about something or another. "Snape!" Sirius burst out, startling Molly enough for the woman to drop her teacup.

"Sirius Black, what are you doing?" She gasped with a hand pressed to her heart.

The animagus apologized weakly and tugged Snape from his chair. "Remus is bleeding."

The annoyed look that had been on Severus' face disappeared and he turned his attention to the werewolf that stood meekly in the doorway.

"Come here, Lupin," he motioned. As soon as Remus was within reach, he tore the man's shirt open and frowned harshly. "Does it hurt?"

"No," Remus mumbled numbly. Blood trailed down his chest and began to seep in the waistband of his trousers.

"What can I do?" Molly said quickly.

"Keep the children preoccupied, the last thing we need are gawkers." Severus told her brusquely. The Weasley matriarch nodded and quickly gathered the wayward kids back into the den and had them under control.

"What's going on?" Sirius demanded, flitting about and trying to see.

"Come with me," Severus commanded, hauling Lupin behind him with his shirt tail. Sirius followed obediently. They tumbled into Snape's rooms and the potions master deposited Remus on his bed. "The sealing potion has worn off. Right now, binding the wound and stopping the blood flow would be prudent."

Without bothering with pleasantries, Snape tugged Remus shirt off completely. "Black, get something to bind this with."

"Like what?" Sirius twitched.

"Clean linen, your bathrobe, anything!" Severus barked.

Scowling but doing as he was told, Sirius bound into the hallway and rifled through the linen closet. He returned with a folded sheet. Without being told, he started to rip it into neat strips.

As Sirius set to his task, Snape bundled Lupin's shirt and pressed it to the scar tissue.

"Why?" Remus mumbled, taking hold of the bunched cloth. "I thought I was doing better?"

"You are," Severus said coolly. "Remember, the wound was always open. The elixir that was applied to it only prevented it from doing this for a time."

"Why doesn't it hurt?" Remus whispered, eyes wide in slight panic.

Snape paused to stare hard at him. "I do not know." Remus nodded, swallowing hard and turned his gaze elsewhere. "But I will find out," Severus finished quietly.

Sirius dropped an armload of linen strips beside them. "Do try not to move," Snape told Lupin. He took hold of the wolf's hand and rested it on his shoulder. Remus was surprised to find that he eagerly gripped hold of Snape's shirt collar.

Severus took one of the strips in his hands and began to expertly wrap Remus' shoulder. Before long, the whole pile of linen was gone, and Lupin's shoulder was bound tightly. Only a small spot of crimson had seeped to the outermost layer. Snape surveyed his work and nodded imperceptibly.

Remus watched the intensity on Severus' face as the wizard worked. The crease between Snape's brows remained as he was engrossed in his work. The werewolf was lost in his own thoughts once Severus had finished and didn't recognize the curious frown the wizard was giving him.

"You can release me now," Snape mumbled. Remus blinked, fingers twitching on Severus' shoulder. The potions master didn't look angry or irritated, only inquisitive. Daring to do so, only because Snape was in such a mild mood, Remus didn't take his hand directly away. He turned his hand palm up and curled his first two fingers into Snape's hair.

The darker wizard's eyes narrowed but he didn't jerk away as Remus had expected. A bit emboldened, Lupin gave him a brief flickering smile and let the strands run through his palm before he set them free.

"Do you need some help, Remus?" Sirius interrupted. The animagus was standing beside him looking mildly worried.

Startled, Remus shook his head and mentally slapped himself for forgetting that Sirius was still there. He released his hold on Snape and watched as the wizard nearly lept out of his reach and only stopped once he reached the far wall. The darker wizard was staring at him through his swaying hair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I could use help with another shirt," Lupin stood and sighed. Sirius nodded, stalking across the hall and already burrowing through Remus' dresser. "Thank you, Severus," Remus spoke quietly. The potions master grunted and didn't so much as twitch from his spot.

Remus nodded sadly and followed Sirius to his room. Now he had estranged Snape further, and he had more gawking and questions to deal with once they returned downstairs.

...oOo...

The Weasley's were polite and careful for the rest of their visit. Hermione and Ginny had offered to retrieve everything for him and Remus was never more thankful to see them leave than later that afternoon.

"They were just trying to help, Remy," Sirius grinned, cleaning up the cups and empty cookie tins.

"I know," Remus laughed. "It's just a bit disconcerting. Every time I started to daydream one of them was asking if I was alright. I don't think I've drank so much tea in one sitting before."

"You could have told them no," The animagus laughed with him. "Just because they ask if you wanted more doesn't mean you had to say yes."

"But their faces, Sirius. I just couldn't." Remus deposited his load of dishware in the sink.

"From now on they'll treat you like a crippled old man," Sirius told him.

As they rinsed the cups and laughed with each other, Snape snuck into the kitchen behind them and minded his potions. The darker wizard had not escaped from his room since Remus' bleeding problem. Both Sirius and Remus assumed the man was doing research or just avoiding the mass of children below.

"Good afternoon, Severus," Remus smiled as he noticed the man loitering about the cauldrons.

Snape's left eye twitched and he nodded stiffly before stalking into the pantry without a word. Remus shared a worried look with Sirius and wiped noncommittally at a saucer. The potions master returned from the pantry empty handed and stood by the sideboard clenching his fists.

"Are you looking for something?"

Again, the man nodded and would not meet Remus' gaze. Instead, he glanced up at Sirius. "Do you have any Fennel seed? I appear to have run out."

Sirius shrugged. "If we did it would be in the pantry. Or maybe in this cabinet," he pointed with a dripping finger to a row of cabinets to his left.

Grunting, Snape stalked past them quickly, clasping his hands in front of him and skirting around Remus very carefully. He pushed the contents of the cabinet about, turning jars of dried herbs in his hands. At the very back in a jar with a rusty lid, he found what he was looking for.

"Thank you," he sniffed, stalking back to his potions. He dropped a few of the seeds into one of the pots and recapped the jar before stalking back out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

"What's gotten into him?" Sirius murmured, shaking tea leaves from his fingertips.

Remus frowned and felt a guilty flame flicker in his stomach. "I'm not sure." Sirius paused and looked carefully at him. Remus swallowed hard and dropped his head. "I might have done... something."

"Like what?" Sirius leaned against the sink, dishes all but forgotten.

"Well, I--" Remus looked up at Sirius and sighed heavily. "Oh hell. I touched him."

"Touched... Snape..." Sirius' eyes were wide. "You mean you touched him... how did you touch him?"

"Christ Sirius not like that," Remus flushed pink. Sirius let out a relieved sigh and all but fell into the sink. "Earlier, when he wrapped my shoulder."

"Well of course you touched him, he's the fool that put your hand on his shoulder, isn't he?" Sirius snorted, as though the conversation was over and Severus was still a git.

"After that," Remus cleared his throat. "I didn't take it back right away. And I might have... stroked his hair."

"Might have?!" Sirius choked. "Don't you know?"

"I did alright!" Remus huffed, shoving a saucer roughly into the cabinet. "I wanted to know what it felt like," he admitted quietly.

"Oi, Remy," Sirius bemoaned. He returned to his cups and saucers for a few minutes in silence. "So, what was it like?"

"Eh?" Remus blinked.

"Well," Sirius elbowed him in the ribs and cocked his head toward the stairwell. "How was it?"

Scoffing, Remus returned a cup to the shelf and leaned against the counter as Sirius had done earlier. "Not as bad as it looks actually," he grinned as Sirius choked again.

"So what are we going to do with him?" Sirius wondered aloud.

"I don't know," Remus frowned, feeling guilty again.

"Maybe you should talk to him," Sirius suggested, draining the water from the sink.

"Me? But you just saw, Siri, he won't even say hello back, he won't listen to me."

Groaning, Sirius threw his head back and rubbed at his eyes. "So it's down to me is it?"

"I'm afraid so," Remus admitted. "And if you can't help him, we'll have to tell someone impartial about it to help. Like Albus."

Sirius' eyes went impossibly wide and he laughed manically. "Imagine that, Albus impartial. He'd have a bloody field day!"

Remus grimaced, "That's why you've got to do it."

"Fine," Sirius huffed, slapping his dish towel onto the counter. "I'll do it."

"Thank you, Sirius," Remus smiled softly.

The animagus melted a bit and rolled his eyes heavenward, "For you, Moony. Only for you."

Snape's door was ajar when Sirius got there. He had expected it to be shut tight, locked and triple warded. He knocked for custom's sake but entered before Severus could respond. The potions master was not sitting and reading or scratching in his notebook like Sirius had expected. Severus was standing at the grimy window with his hands behind his back, staring down through the grime at something indistinguishable.

"Snape?"

"What do you want, Black?" Severus sighed, not bothering to dredge up any spite for the animagus at the moment.

"You seem a bit off," Sirius struggled for the proper thing to say and wound up stopping there instead. Remus was always better at talks than he was.

Severus snorted. "And you've come because you're worried?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes at the amount of sarcasm Snape had packed into the single question. "In fact, I did."

The potions master turned from the window at that and leveled him with a look. Sirius resisted the urge to prickle under the stare. "What do you really want?"

Tamping on his frustration, Sirius helped himself to a seat and leaned back until he balanced on the back legs. "I want to know why you're being so distant and touchy with Remus."

Severus' face shuttered and he began to stalk from the room but Sirius kicked the door shut before the man could escape. "Come on Snape, answer. This isn't about prying into your business, it has to do with Remus and what has to do with Remy has to do with me."

"It has nothing to do with you," Severus snapped.

"No? Then tell me and prove it," Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, leg propped up to prevent Snape from making another attempt at the door.

He watched in mild interest as Snape shook as he restrained himself. After several seconds of Snape not breathing and clenching his fists, Sirius was expecting to get blown back through the wall. However, before the wizard could explode, he let out a long, slow hiss of air and deflated right before Sirius' eyes.

Severus sat down on the bed and looked out the window again. "Why does he do it?"

"Do what?" Sirius' eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Touch me, for no reason," Snape babbled. He closed his mouth tightly and clenched his fist on his lap. "Why does he touch me; like he's familiar with me?"

"That's just Remy's way of showing affection," Sirius scratched at his head. He didn't understand why it was such a big deal.

"Liar," Severus hissed.

"I am not," Sirius scowled. "In case you didn't notice, Remus doesn't just run about hugging people freely." For a reason Sirius didn't understand, Snape winced and color tinted his cheeks. "He hasn't had many people he's felt comfortable enough with. You should feel lucky he's comfortable enough with you."

"Very well," Severus said stiffly. He turned toward Sirius and frowned deeply. The color on his face deepened. "Then why me?"

"I don't know," Sirius shrugged. "If I had to guess, it's because he trusts you."

"Hnn," Snape looked out the window.

"I have a question," Sirius sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Why does it bother you?"

Severus sat rigid and glared over at Sirius, gauging whether the man was trying to toy with him. "Why should I tell you, Black?"

"You don't," Sirius shrugged. "But if I don't know, I can't help Remus leave you be. He's set in his ways you know."

The relative truth of the statement made Snape grumble. He didn't want to lay out his insecurities for people to prod at, especially Sirius Black. "The problem isn't with me, it's with Lupin."

"Fine," Sirius sighed, standing and pushing the chair back to the desk. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Hardly," Severus huffed.

"Good," Black frowned over at him, "Then stop being touchy near Remus. He's used to people thinking he's something to fear and pity without you doing the same."

Snape scowled and waved Sirius out of the room. The animagus gladly took his leave and left Severus to his own devices, hoping that Snape wouldn't remain tetchy.

...oOo...

Remus was playing solitaire at the kitchen table. He looked expectantly at Sirius as the animagus sat down and set his playing cards in a neat pile. "How did it go?"

Sirius shrugged. "Fine. It seems Snape's just being his uptight self."

"Sirius," Remus frowned. "What did he say?"

"Well, he seems awfully confused about why you want to touch him. I think he's paranoid."

A sad smile graced Remus face. "Yea, I assumed that much."

"Moony?"

"Yea, Padfoot?"

"Why do you want to touch Snape?"

Remus blushed hotly and took up his cards. He played two of them before he managed to gather his thoughts enough to answer. "It's natural to want human contact. I don't know how he's managed to stay sane so long without it. Severus intrigues me. "

"That doesn't answer my question," Sirius frowned.

"He knows what I am, Siri, and he doesn't treat me carefully. He doesn't pity me, doesn't play nice or give me false sympathy. I appreciate that more than anything." Remus lay his cards on the table again.

"So do you... want," Sirius made a face, "Snape? That way I mean?"

"I don't know," Remus admitted with a blush. "I just want him to know what it's like. He deserves to be handled like everyone else."

"I don't think I want to know this," Sirius banged his head on the table.

"You are the one that asked," Remus grinned, returning to his game. He lay out several more cards before he glanced up to see Sirius watching him play and he paused. "You deserve it too, Padfoot."

Sirius blinked in surprise and gaped a little. "Uh, thanks, Remy."

"I mean it," Remus returned to his game. "All three of us haven't had the best lot in life."

The animagus smiled over at him, "I know. And I hope you realize that if I deserve it, and Snape of all people deserves it... then so do you." Sirius levitated a tray of biscuits from the counter and took one. "You of all of us."

Remus shook his head and shuffled his cards together into a pile. He hadn't seen Sirius get up from the table or heard him as he sat down beside him.

"Moony," Sirius smiled a little.

The werewolf jumped, startled, and gave him a questioning look. Sirius took Remus' face in his hands and kissed his forehead. Remus stopped moving, the cards falling from his hands into a mess along the table.

"I mean it," Sirius said quietly. "And I promise to stop teasing you about Tonks." He brushed Remus' fringe from his face and let him go. The wolf's cheeks were pink and he was staring at the tabletop. "Whoever you want in your life, Remy, I don't care who it is, I'm with you. Alright?"

"Thanks, Padfoot," Remus smiled, daring to look up at his friend. Sirius gathered the cards together and shuffled them. Remus watched him with hooded eyes, wondering if Sirius would be alright with his decision if he decided it was the animagus he wanted.

Sirius dealt them out a hand and set the cards down on the table. "Poker then. What shall we use for ante?"

Remus grinned widely and flicked his wand toward the cabinet and then levitated himself the plate of cookies Sirius had brought to the table.

"Sweets, Remus?" Sirius laughed.

"Nope, the cookies are for me." Remus grinned as the cabinet opened and several large bottles of grain alcohol floated to the table with two clean shot glasses.

A wicked grin split Sirius face, "You do realize it's only a little past noon?"

"Yup," Remus nodded, biting a cookie in half.

Sirius barked with laughter and poured them both a shot. "Then get ready for a trouncing, Moony!"

...oOo...

"Hey, hey, hey!" Sirius howled from the kitchen. Severus slapped the quill onto his desktop and stared at the closed door again for the fifth time that hour. He didn't know what the fools were doing, but as time passed they were getting much louder.

For the past three hours, Severus had finally found the influence to start researching what was happening with Remus' shoulder. Apparently, the lack of pain wasn't something to be overly worried about. According to three of his texts, it was part of the healing. The worry over the wolf's problem eased considerably as all three of them said the same thing.

He needed to help Remus fix his teeth next. As much as he didn't want to be in the wolf's personal space anytime soon, he should probably do it sometime this evening. The revision of Lupin's hand had been a big step in his healing process. Not only was it good for Remus, but to Snape's horror, he was actually starting to find the odd beauty in the beast's transformation. It must be the dark side in him.

"Ha! Padfoot! Drink!" Remus crowed from the kitchen. Severus rolled his eyes heavenward and marked his place in the book. He opened his door and was nearly bowled over by the raucous laughter coming up the stairs.

Something shattered on the stones and both men burst into laughter again. Steeling himself for more Gryffindor stupidity, Severus stalked down the stairs and cautiously entered the kitchen.

Remus and Sirius were sitting near each other, two empty bottles of whisky were on the table on their sides, and one of them appeared to be broken to pieces on the floor. The werewolf was grinning widely as he moved his cards around, the buttons of his shirt undone to his navel. Sirius had taken his shirt completely off and was snickering as he poured more alcohol into their glasses; his long locks dangling into the glasses though neither seemed to care.

"What do you have, Moony?" Sirius grinned, leaning back in his chair.

"Three 6's," The werewolf dropped the cards onto the table for Sirius to see.

"Ha!" Sirius crowed in triumph and threw a full house onto the table. "Drink up, Moony!"

"Did I say, three 6's? I meant four," Remus grinned evilly and dropped the fourth onto the table with the first three. Sirius let out a groan and took his shot, slamming the glass onto the table.

"What are you buffoons doing?" Severus sighed, checking on his potions to make sure the idiots hadn't thrown something into them in their drunken stupor.

Remus' glowing honey eyes flew to the doorway and his surprise melted into a wide, happy smile. "Severus! Come and play with us!"

Sirius refilled his glass and waved the potions master over. "Yea, come on, come on!" Sirius stood up, wobbling dangerously for a few moments until he grabbed the side of the table. He hobbled over toward Severus and slung an arm across the man's shoulders.

Remus kicked out a chair near him for Severus to sit in. He grinned as the duo made their way to the table. More like Sirius dragging Snape. Even with the glowering, the two of them mashed together made for a temptation Remus had a hard time ignoring.

"I refuse to play this infantile game with either of you," Snape huffed as Sirius pushed him down into the chair.

"That's only because you don't know how to play," Sirius chuffed in the man's ear.

"We'll teach you," Remus supplied helpfully, glaring a bit as Sirius clung to Snape a little longer than necessary. Finally the animagus left the potions master alone when he knew Snape wasn't going to run off.

"First," Sirius spouted, holding his glass high and mucking up the word so that it sounded more like 'fusht', "you must take a shot for ante!" The animagus grinned and downed his shot, letting the air out with a hiss.

Remus followed suit quickly and looked expectantly at Snape. "Come on, at least give it a try."

"I would," Severus huffed, "had I a glass."

Nodding his head, Remus refilled his own and passed it over. "You can share mine," he grinned.

Severus took the glass and eyed them both skeptically before drinking. It was the worst quality liquor he had ever had the privilege to try. "This is disgusting."

Sirius snickered and refilled the glass again, only managing to spill a little. "It gets better as you go," he promised with a wink.

Remus dealt their cards and scooted a bit closer to help Severus figure his hand. The potions master shied back from the proximity, barely understanding what it was he was supposed to do. "Get it?"

"No," he told the wolf bluntly. Remus frowned and cocked his head to one side. He smirked at Severus and pointed at each card in his hand, "Keep that one, that one and that one. Throw those in that pile there."

Remus returned to his own hand and waited patiently for Sirius to pick up his cards that he had dropped on the floor. He then dealt them their seconds and slapped his hand on the table. "Bust," he sighed, swallowing his drink and leaning into Snape's space again to see.

"Here!" Sirius laughed, "Two jacks!"

Remus smirked, grabbing hold of Severus wrist and drawing the man's whole arm across the table. "Read 'em and weep, Padfoot!"

"How does he get a straight on his first hand of poker... ever!" Sirius was indignant even as he swallowed down the whisky and refilled his glass. "You know," he pointed between the two of them, "I think you dealt him that."

"I did not!" Remus huffed, taking Snape's cards from his fingers and pushing the pile at Sirius. "I dealt that fair."

"Did not," Sirius pouted, "you dealt him that cause you like him. Don't deny it, Moony! It's not fair to play favorite's!"

Remus turned two shades of red and threw the remaining cards in his hand at the animagus. "I am not!"

Severus looked between the two of them, making a mental note never to get drunk with them. Or to be around them this drunk ever again. He followed the odd conversation with no small amount of surprise. Remus didn't refute to liking him, only that he did not cheat.

"I think that you have been playing too long," he told them both. He levitated the remaining bottles to the cupboard and locked it.

"Hey!" Sirius pouted, trying to catch the bottles as they floated and fell into the closed cupboard.

"Lupin," Severus rubbed at his temples, "I was hoping to help you with your mandible problem, but you are in no condition."

"I am," Remus pleaded, grabbing hold of Snape's arm. "I can do it, just trust me."

"It is not a matter of trust," Severus supplied, warily eyeing the animagus as the man grew eerily quiet after so long being loud. "You do not have the constitution."

"Please," Remus pouted, glowing eyes wide and wet.

Severus sighed heavily and extracted himself from Lupin's clutch. "Lean forward into the light," he commanded. Remus instantly obeyed, moving too quickly and nearly falling into Snape's lap. Regretting his decision, Severus took hold of Lupin's face turned it carefully so that the light illuminated his mouth. "Open," he demanded.

Remus nodded, barely breathing. Severus was concentrating on his mouth, that little moue of intense thought on his lips. It was one of the most endearing things he had seen. He opened his mouth slowly, watching Snape's expression and unconsciously licked his lower lip, sweeping it across one of Severus' thumbs.

Snape chose to ignore what happened and instead examined the teeth in Lupin's mouth. "Do you remember what I told you when you fixed your hand?" Remus began to speak and Severus tightened his grip. "Just shake your head yes or no." The werewolf nodded slowly. "Good. Remember what it was like, and try to revert. Feel it."

The lycan nodded again and narrowed his eyes in concentration. It was much harder to remember what it was like during reversion. Slowly, he could feel the pressure increase in his jaw as his teeth began to shift. He grunted as the bones began to twist and move. Severus' pleased face was the only thing that kept him on track.

"Good, Lupin," Snape muttered. "Very good."

A tingle of pleasure flushed through his skin at the praise and Remus tried harder. The pain grew and blood began to pool in his mouth. He felt a little panicked but Snape seemed to sense it and the hands on his face smoothed across his cheeks.

"Concentrate."

Remus nodded, clenching his eyes shut and wished that it was finished. An agonizing thirty seconds passed and the pain ceased. He opened his eyes, blurred with pain-tears and saw Severus smiling that little quirky smile again.

"You can spit that out or swallow it, I don't care which."

Color fled to Remus' face at the innuendo and he swallowed the bloody saliva in his mouth. He allowed Severus to tug his jaw open and look again at his teeth. The potions master looked content. Remus brought his own hands to his face and touched. The bulk of the large incisors was gone.

"I did it," he breathed.

"You did," Severus smirked, wiping his hands on his pants. "I'm not sure how to help your eyes..." Severus frowned in thought, staring straight into Lupin's gaze.

The wolf shivered at the intense stare. "Why not?"

"It isn't quite the same as bony structure," Severus supplied in his professor's voice. "I would have a similar problem had you retained wolf ears." He suddenly stood and Remus nearly fell out of his seat. He didn't realize he had leaned into Snape's space quite that much.

The potions master put out the flames from beneath his cauldrons after checking them carefully. He disappeared into the pantry for some jars and returned, ladling them full and stoppering them with cork.

Sirius had returned to his seat and he and Remus watched Snape move about. Once the potions master had finished, he set all he brewed into a box and set it aside on the counter. The dark wizard didn't spare them another glance and disappeared back into his room.

Sirius and Remus both stared at the spot where he had gone. "Cor, Remy," Sirius breathed. The werewolf looked over at him, waiting for him to finish. "I think I get it."

"Get what?" Remus asked, confused.

"I get what you see," Sirius looked shell-shocked. "He looked... he seemed..."

"Human," Remus finished. He grinned over at his friend and nodded. "And edible."

Sirius made a disgusted face and dropped his head to the table. "Yea... that too."

"Let's follow him," Remus smirked, feeling mischievous.

"Yea?" Sirius grinned. It was rare that Remus broke the rules, but when the lycan did, much fun ensued.

"Yea," Remus nodded again, standing up and dragging Sirius with him to the stairs.

It took them five minutes to climb twenty-three steps. They stumbled, fell down a few, sat for a break and nearly broke the banister. By the time the made it to the top, they were sure Severus knew they were coming.

"What do you fools want?" Severus growled. He was sitting back to them at his desk, and still he knew they were there to pester him.

"You," Remus blurted, covering his mouth and looking horrified. "You to, uh, to play your violin." He recovered quite nicely for being three-quarters tanked. Sirius snickered and dropped sloppily onto Snape's immaculately made bed.

"That isn't going to happen, so you can leave now." Severus snapped.

"Why not?" Sirius groaned, rolling onto his stomach and hanging half off of the bed to rummage beneath it. He got hold of the violin case and pulled it a whole two inches before Severus grabbed him by the hair and hauled him up.

"Do not touch," Severus hissed into his ear.

"Fine, fine!" Sirius yowled, prying Snape's fingers from his hair. He fell back to the bed roughly as soon as he was free and scowled.

"Please, Severus?" Remus pouted. The werewolf sat down next to Sirius on the bed and stared up at the potions master.

Three long minutes Severus stared back unmoving. He finally growled and pinched the bridge of his nose. "If you promise to leave directly after--"

"I promise! We promise!" Remus interrupted, nearly bouncing.

The case came from beneath the bed easily. Severus opened it and ran his hands carefully across the smooth wood within. A sad, wistful smile twisted on his face and he pulled the violin free. It was like he had forgotten he had company.

The instrument snuggled neatly beneath his chin. Carefully, he bent his fingers around the neck and set the bow to the strings. He played slowly, very shakily and stopped. The violin was back in the case a moment later and Severus was bent over it, breathing heavily.

"Are you alright?"

Snape jumped in his skin. He had forgotten the duo was there. "I--fine." He lied.

"You don't have to play," Remus soothed, walking cautiously toward him. Sirius nodded, sitting up on the bed and actually attempting to smooth the wrinkles he had made.

"Could I...?" Sirius came up behind the potions master and motioned idly at the violin. He couldn't help it. He was mostly drunk and intrigued as hell with the instrument.

Snape sent him a scathing glare.

Sirius shrunk in on himself and nodded, "Right... Sorry."

Something seemed to release in Severus and he bit his lips before taking the violin back out of the case. He offered it over to Sirius, fingers twitching as the animagus took it. Sirius, even inebriated, understood the ramifications of what had happened. He cradled the instrument carefully and tucked it under his chin like Severus had done.

Snape watched the awe on Sirius' face and felt his insides twist. He had seen himself in the animagus' moments ago; hurt, confused, even flinching. If Black had acted as he did, that meant he had become his father. It was with disgust and hatred that he realized he had been bitter and cruel over something so simple.

"Here," Severus croaked, offering Sirius the bow. The animagus' blue eyes went impossibly wide.

"I don't know how to play. I wouldn't dream of--"

"It's not so difficult." Severus turned the animagus and stepped behind him, he curled his fingers over Sirius' and gripped the man's other wrist to raise the bow. Sirius stared in shock at Remus. The werewolf smiled gently and shrugged.

"Now, press these strings," Severus curled Sirius fingers down. Sirius concentrated as best he could; he would never be allowed this luxury from Snape again. "Lightly, draw the bow across the strings starting at the bottom of the bow."

Sirius clamped the instrument tighter beneath his chin as Severus snugged up behind him. He could feel the man's chest pressed tight to his back and Snape's chin rested on his shoulder. Carefully he drew the bow across and laughed lightly as the violin played a very light and simple melody.

"Let me," Severus paused in the thought, stepping back and giving Sirius his space. "Let me see."

The animagus passed the instrument back and returned to Remus side on the bed. The wolf leaned into him and smiled. He and Remus watched Severus take several deep breaths--eyes clenched shut--and place the violin back under his chin.

This time, when Severus began to play, he played. The notes were sweet and wrenching. Never outside of potion brewing had they seen the man so engrossed in what he was doing. They could tell he was no longer with them as half way through, the man lost his usual cool composure and played hard enough to make his hair fly about his head.

The song ended on a long, low note and Snape stayed poised with the bow resting on the strings, and his eyes were closed.

"That was amazing," Remus sighed happily.

Snape blinked his eyes a few times and returned the violin to its case as though he hadn't just played his heart out.

"Snape, you're bleeding," Sirius pointed out.

Severus paused and curled his fingers, hissing and swearing under his breath. He went into his bathroom and held his hand over the sink as blood dripped slowly from the soaked bandages. Sirius stumbled after him to help.

"I can do this on my own, Black," Snape grumbled, peeling the wrap off and tossing it into the garbage. Sirius made a rude noise and ignored the glare Severus sent him.

Just as they had done repeatedly, Severus cleaned it and Sirius wrapped it without a hitch. When the animagus returned to Snape's room he began to laugh and waved Severus over. Remus had lain down and fallen asleep on Snape's bed.

"Come on Remy," Sirius prodded at him.

The lycan groaned and rolled over. He latched onto Sirius' arm and used the man as a post to cling to as he got up. Now that the wolf had slowed down, the amount of alcohol he had consumed was catching up to him.

"Little help, Snape?" Sirius pleaded. Remus was swaying a bit and though Sirius could have handled it, he himself was three sheets to the wind.

With a long suffering sigh, Severus looped Remus' arm over his shoulders and the two of them managed to shuffle out of the door sideways. Remus groaned and staggered along with them.

"If I have to dump out the entire contents of alcohol in this house, so help me I will," he threatened.

The three of them sat as one on the edge of the bed and Severus let go. Remus, however, did not. "Lupin," he threatened.

"Severus," Remus hissed in a sigh. The wolf laughed to himself like he had told a great joke and finally let the man go.

Sirius helped him roll to the center of the bed and fell across him as he lost his balance. Snape watched bemused from the entryway. "Remy, help me up," Sirius mumbled through the pillow. The wolf giggled and pushed him with one arm. The animagus all but flew off of the bed and landed in a strange heap in a chair.

"You are both utterly helpless," Snape smirked. Sirius stood and shook a blanket across Remus' already dozing form and followed Snape into the hall.

"You should have seen him when we were still in school. He still had his strength then," Sirius barked hard laughter at the strange look Severus gave him. "You're alright when I'm drunk," he confided.

Snape snorted and watched Sirius stumble down the hall, bouncing off of one wall and ricocheting into another. Feeling a sense of pity and odd peace from earlier, he walked behind the man and took hold of his upper arm tightly.

Sirius grinned like a fool as he led him to bed. The animagus fell onto his back in the mess of blankets and sighed deeply. "Remy's right about you," he smiled up at Snape.

"Indeed." Severus ignored him, turning about to leave without the pleasantries of covering the man as he had done for Remus. The wizard shut the door solidly behind him and Sirius sat laughing lightly.

"You'll get yours, Snape!" He yelled after him. He didn't know if Severus heard him or not, but he meant it. If it took he and Remus to hold the man down, he'd get a thorough snogging before he left the house again.

...oOo...

During the rest of the early evening, Severus was able to do some decent research in the silence. Remus was now nearly healed. The problems with the lycanthrope, however, were not over. All that had happened to date were to make the man strong enough for what was to come. His body was whole, but his soul was still separate. He still needed to get in touch with his inner wolf.

Around eleven, the pain of his hand kept him sidetracked, and due to his own fear and injury he changed topics. Everything he read was not calming. Some said there was no other option than infection, others said it was fifty-fifty. Apparently he was going to agonize about it until the next full moon.

One of the Gryffindors was not feeling well. He could hear them groaning pitifully through the walls. He was going to silence his room and ignore it, but if the ill person turned out to be Remus, he could be setting back his healing.

With an irritated grunt, Snape rummaged through his bathroom cabinet and removed two vials of hangover cure. When he stepped into the hall, it was apparent that both of the Gryffindors were having problems.

Remus was his main concern, so Severus went there first. Lupin was on his side, facing away from the door. He had removed his shirt at some point and toed off his shoes.

"Lupin." Severus didn't bother trying to quiet his voice. The wolf flinched and moaned, pressing a pillow over his head. With a smirk, Snape entered and moved around the bed. Remus cracked open one eye and glared up at him.

Popping the cork out, Snape held the vial down toward Lupin. "Drink this."

The lycan struggled to sit up, clutching his head in one hand and pushing with the other. He took the bottle and drank the contents without bothering to ask what it was. The lines of pain around his eyes and mouth smoothed out and he sighed deeply. "Thank you, Severus."

Honey eyes blinked in the dark, glowing faintly. Suddenly, Snape didn't think Lupin should revert his eyes at all.

"Are you all right?" Remus asked quietly.

"Hmm?"

"You haven't gone yet," the wolf smiled slightly.

Sirius let out a wet retch and both Snape and Lupin winced. "That would be my cue," Severus growled.

He had burst into Sirius' rooms, wincing at the smell of bile and rolled his eyes.

"Here, Padfoot," Remus shuffled in behind him, brandishing his wand and clearing the mess away. The wolf crawled up onto the bed beside his friend and pushed his scraggly hair from his face.

Severus watched them quietly through hooded eyes as he uncorked the second bottle. It was a strange stab of jealousy at the sight that brought him out of it and stalked across the room.

"Black," Snape smirked as Sirius, too, winced at his volume. "Drink."

Remus helped Sirius with his potion, propping the animagus up against him and helping him hold the vial and not drop it. Sirius sighed happily as the lightly minted taste rolled across his tongue and cooled the alcohol that fueled his illness. He relaxed against Remus and nearly fell right to sleep.

The werewolf laughed softly and shifted until he was comfortable. When he reached for the blanket at their feet, he realized Severus was still standing beside them. In the dark, it was hard to gauge what exactly was etched on the potions master's face, but it looked remarkably like envy and muted pain.

"Severus?" Remus paused, turning his face up and trying to see better. Snape blinked, and the emotion was masked quickly.

"Good night, Lupin," he said stiffly, walking quickly from the room and shutting the door softly behind him.

"What wuzzat?" Sirius mumbled, turning on his side and clumsily curling an arm around Remus' waist.

"I don't know, Padfoot," Remus sighed, "but I think we may have mucked up again."


	12. So it Begins

The morning brought tense silence throughout the house. Those that had been drunk were able to remember best what they had done when inebriated and glance guiltily at each other and Snape for most of the day. Severus was quiet and elusive, not in itself out of character, but normally he had at least one barb for each of them.

For two days, slowly they returned to a semblance of normalcy. Severus was once again speaking to them--in biting sarcasm--and both Gryffindors had gotten over their embarrassment and returned cordial. It was as though the past couple of weeks of Hell and pain had not happened and they were all once again known to each other as; Snivellus, Lupin and the Mutt.

It bothered Remus the most of all of them. He wasn't sure what had happened so drastically that could have caused such a dramatic change. Sure, the oddity of his newfound infatuation with all things Snape hadn't helped, but Severus had been taking it all in stride well enough. The only thing that stuck out in his mind was the tense face he had seen hovering over the bed those nights ago. Had he alienated Severus? Did Snape think that Remus was only playing with him?

Regardless of how much he thought and how often he attempted to breach the gap that had returned between them, Severus was unresponsive to anything he did. The only times the potions master bothered to speak more than a necessary sentence was if Remus had a question about his progress.

His health was another oddity. His shoulder was pulling together nicely, not knit entirely yet, but still was visibly healing. Severus was adamant that he was not finished with him. Remus was confused and Sirius watched it all with a mild anger.

It had been two weeks of routine. Sirius and Remus waking in the morning to find Severus at his cauldron's working studiously and grunting his welcome. They didn't speak much, Severus didn't eat with them, and the potions master would return to his rooms to read and brood for much of the day until hunger or his potions needed tending.

Therefore, one particularly dull grey morning when Remus yawned his way to the kitchen, the fact that Severus was not in the kitchen as well took him by surprise. He heard Sirius trundling down the stairs and turned to wait expectantly.

The animagus turned into the kitchen, rubbing one eye and stopped abruptly in the kitchen entry. "Where's Snape?"

The smallest of smiles touched Remus face, "I was just wondering that myself."

Sirius shrugged and moved beyond, gathering a hunk of bread and jar of jam together. He walked past Remus to the den. "Who knows with that git? He's probably sulking."

Remus followed, sighing heavily and sat down across from Sirius, accepting a slab of jam smeared bread. "It's just out of routine, isn't it? It's rather creepy."

"Creepy," Sirius snorted, taking a large bite out of his breakfast. "He's probably already finished with them this morning, just run off to his room so he wouldn't have to see us."

"Maybe," Remus pouted at the truth of the statement.

They ate in silence until a cauldron exploded with a sharp bang. Ears ringing, Remus had lept to his feet and pulled his wand at once. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest. Sirius was shouting over the ringing, motioning toward the kitchen and Remus followed obediently.

Smoke and sludge had been thrown the length of the kitchen. Bubbling ooze streaked down the cabinets, slowly peeling the paint away and reeking of sulfur. They gaped at the mess, clearing away patches at a time with their wands.

"Where in the hell is Snape?" Sirius snarled, clearing a spot along the ceiling.

"He has to be here," Remus mumbled. But that wasn't entirely true. Severus hadn't been quarantined in the house with them, just sent from Hogwart's until he knew for sure if he had been infected. "Maybe he's gone out?"

Sirius shrugged. "I would think so. Snape wouldn't let one of his precious potions get ruined. And if he heard that, he would have run screaming down here by now."

Remus nodded in agreement.

They soon had the kitchen cleared of slop, but there were still pitted spots in the paint where the thickest smears had lain. They eyed the second bubbling cauldron warily as they approached it. The contents were not familiar and Snape hadn't exactly shared the information. They had two options, leave it until Severus dealt with it, or remove it from the fire before it too ate part of the kitchen.

Sirius made the decision for them and blew the flame out. He met Remus' vaguely worried gaze and rolled his eyes, "He'll get over it, yea? I don't want a repeat performance of this." He waved idly at the kitchen, sighing as he touched a spot of peeling paint.

Grumbling about idiots and their cauldrons, Sirius started back upstairs to shower. Remus watched him go with a frown. It wasn't like Severus to leave his potions unattended. If he were leaving, even for a small amount of time, he would have made sure what he was creating wasn't explosive, or would have made sure someone would keep an eye on it.

"Remus!"

The wolf jumped and started for the stairs. Sirius was leaning over the balcony railing, hair flying about his face and waving ecstatically with one arm. "What's the matter?"

"Quick! It's Snape!"

Remus' heart skipped a beat and he ran the stairs two at a time. Sirius was standing in Snape's room, hovering over a blanket covered lump on the floor. The lump was breathing, and Remus knew it was Severus.

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Sirius shook his head, bending to help the darker wizard, but when his hand touched the bundled man, Severus let out a pain-filled moan.

Remus crossed the threshold of the door and came up short. A wave of aura prickled across his skin and made the hair at the back of his neck stand on end. "Don't touch him," Lupin whispered, pushing Sirius gently aside and dropping carefully to his knees.

"Severus?" He took a hold of the blanket and peeled the edge back. Snape's face was scrunched in pain, beads of sweat pouring down his forehead.

"Go away," the wizard groaned, trying to roll away.

"At least let us help you into bed," Sirius sounded worried. He kept his distance as Remus asked, but hovered about.

"Come on, Severus," Remus looped an arm around the man's shoulders and narrowed his gaze. Severus had a bad fever, he could feel the heat of his skin through the man's shirt. Snape hissed and grunted as he was pulled to a sitting position. The potions master leaned back against the bed frame, panting. "Severus, let me see your hand," Remus demanded.

"No," Snape grumbled, shivering violently in his wrapped blankets. He tried to glare at Remus, but felt too ill to make it.

"Now," Remus said sternly, a low growl in the back of his throat.

Sirius frowned, ready to chastise Remus for getting pushy when it was apparent that Severus was sick, but the potions master narrowed his gaze and reluctantly withdrew his arm from his blankets.

Blood coated the bandages, trailing down his forearm and dripping off of his elbow. Remus frowned deeply and pulled the bandages free as Snape whimpered. Sirius disappeared into the bathroom of his own volition, returning with a few hand towels and fresh wrap.

"Can I help?" Sirius squatted, looking between them warily. Remus' countenance had changed dramatically since his panic coming up the stairs. It was as though the werewolf were solely in charge.

"Hand me that towel, please," Remus held a hand out, quickly tying it around the bleeding hole in Snape's hand. "We're going to put you into the bed, Severus."

The potions master shook his head, trying to argue but Remus already nodded toward Sirius and the two Gryffindors situated him between them.

"Merlin, Snape, you're on fire," Sirius mumbled, lifting with his knees and carefully sitting the potions master down.

"Potions..." Severus grumbled, falling back onto his pillows with a gasp.

"Are both ruined," Remus told him gently, lifting the man's feet onto the bed and realigning his blankets. "I hope they weren't important."

Severus shook his head, trying to pull his sheet over his head. Remus stopped him and began to feel his forehead, glands and check his eyes. Severus hissed and swatted him feebly away.

"Is the light hard on your eyes?"

"Yes," Snape hissed, clamping his eyes shut. Sirius made himself useful and pulled the shades together without being asked.

"Go back to sleep," Remus said sternly, touching the back of his hand to Snape's forehead.

To Sirius' immense surprise, Snape rolled onto his side and pulled the blankets up. Remus motioned him from the doorway and the animagus quickly followed into the hall. "What is going on?" He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned as Remus checked in on Snape again then shut the door.

"He's asleep."

"That's not what I meant," Sirius grumbled. "What's wrong with him?"

Remus bit his lip and stared at his feet. "The Fever, the Change, the Curse... whatever you want to call it."

Sirius' eyes widened and his crossed arms fell limply to his sides. "So he's... he'll be..."

"I don't know," Remus croaked, fighting back a wave of emotion that rocked between pity, guilt and remorse. "The full moon is in six days. We'll see then."

"Sweet Merlin," Sirius breathed. "How do we help him?"

"You need to stay away," Remus said brusquely, images of his mother's hate filled, horror stricken face flashed into his mind. "He won't be himself."

"Like Hell," Sirius shouted. Remus stepped back in surprise. "I'm not going to let you take the burden yourself. And I'm sure as Hell not going to sit back and watch your health deteriorate because you start feeling responsible for Snape."

"Sirius, you don't understand--"

"Maybe I don't," Sirius interrupted in a much gentler voice. "But I'm here to help, and I will."

"I'll call Albus and tell him it's started," Remus mumbled, running a hand through his hair. "Keep an ear, he won't sleep long."

"Remy," Sirius called, making the lycan pause at the top of the stairs. "Why does he do what you tell him?"

A bitter smile curdled Remus' face. "Because for the next few days, I'm his alpha."

Sirius blinked and watched, numbed as Remus disappeared downstairs. The truth of the statement stung. For the first time in a very long time, Sirius felt actual pity for his friend. It wasn't fair for Remus, as much as it wasn't fair for Snape.

Moans started from behind Severus' door. Moony had been right about that too. Sirius knuckled the door lightly as he went in. "Snape?" A grunt from the bed answered him.

"Hot," Severus mumbled, muffled severely through his blankets.

Sirius snorted and began to pull the covers back. "That's easy to remedy." Slowly Snape's head and shoulders were uncovered and the potions master lay panting and sweating in his sheets.

"Where's Lupin?" Severus grumbled, struggling to sit up and relenting in the fight after a few seconds.

"Contacting Albus," Sirius frowned. "Do you want me to get him?"

"No," Snape all but barked, eyes widening. An awkward silence fell as Sirius stood startled and Snape flushed. "What's wrong with me?"

Sirius didn't meet Snape's gaze. "Maybe Remus ought to tell you."

Snape stopped breathing for a moment. "It's starting."

The animagus nodded and looked back up at Severus. The potions master's eyes were unfocused and he was breathing erratically. "Easy, Snape," Sirius put a hand on the man's shoulder. It wouldn't due to have Remus return to find Severus hyperventilating. "You're still hot," Sirius frowned.

He set his palm on Snape's forehead and cocked an eyebrow as Severus turned his face into his touch. The potions master's eyes were shut and he sighed until Sirius withdrew. The heat of his body increased and he moaned pitifully and writhed as his body screamed for cooler temperatures.

Sirius watched in growing panic as Snape got worse when he drew away. In a moment of worry, he put his palm back and watched in awe as the potions master quieted.

"Having fun?" Remus asked quietly from behind.

Sirius jumped, blushing and motioned between himself and Snape, "I don't know what's going on."

A pointed, knowing look flashed across Remus' face. "He craves the touch. Right now, you're body temperature is cooler than his. I'll get a cloth."

"Right..." Sirius furrowed his brows and watched Snape as Remus ran a towel under water in Snape's bathroom.

"Here," Remus folded the cloth in his hands and laid it across Severus' forehead. The potions master sighed in rapture and mewled. Remus touched the man's face and smoothed his hair. "This is only the beginning. I'm afraid it's only going to get worse."

Severus opened one bleary eye and snorted weakly. "Since when has my life ever been easy."

Remus smiled sadly and checked his bandages. The blood was spreading across the palm again but was not bad enough to change. "Are you hungry?"

"No," Severus shook his head, wincing as his skull began to throb.

"Thirsty?"

Snape nodded, wishing he could sleep. He was so fatigued he doubted he could crawl to the bathroom to take a piss.

"Here," Remus helped him up, propping his head in the crook of his elbow. "Small sips."

Severus tried to sneer, but gave up on it in lieu of drinking his cup of water. He choked on a bit and scowled as Remus gave him an 'I told you so' look.

"Get some rest," Lupin told him. "Call if you need anything."

"Shut up," Snape yawned at him, sneering weakly and falling asleep right before their eyes.

Remus pet Severus' hair away from his face for a while, wiping the sweat from the wizard's face and neck with a clean cloth. "I wish I could stop this," he whispered, glancing worriedly at Sirius.

The animagus squeezed his friend's shoulder. "Me too."

"I'll be fine letting you help, Padfoot," Remus admitted haltingly. He turned a stern gaze up, "But in a couple of days, I won't let you. And I don't want you to fight me."

"Why not?" Sirius bristled slightly, trying not to. He knew Remus had first hand knowledge on what was happening, but this new commanding tone Remus had was rubbing him the wrong way.

"Because then, he won't be able to think of anything but the pain, and he'll hurt you." Remus' eyes filled with an ancient hurt so deep Sirius felt his eyes water.

"Alright, Moony," Sirius nodded. "Alright." He left then, before he could ask any questions that would cause more harm than good.

Remus watched him leave, feeling thankful that with all of his faults, Sirius was always very good at reading him. As soon as Snape's door shut, Remus sat down beside Severus and wept silently.

...oOo...

Nymphadora Tonks arrived around noon, looking piqued and tired. Even the usual vibrant pink of her hair was dulled and weak. The house was abnormally quiet when she entered, and the odd smell of charred metal and smoke clung to the air just enough to make her wrinkle her nose.

As she entered the kitchen, she saw Sirius standing by the stove, stirring a small pot. A sweat stain at the small of his back and ringing his armpits. She grinned a little and sidled up behind him.

"Whacha doin'?"

Sirius startled smartly, dropping his spoon and clutching his chest. He didn't smile like Tonks expected him too. Instead he frowned a bit, "Oh, Tonks."

Discomfited at the greeting, Tonks leaned next to him and looked into his pot. "Yea, Tonks. You seem out of sorts. Is everything alright?"

"Hmm? Oh, it's... complicated." Sirius' eyebrows furrowed and he took the pot from the stove.

Tonks followed him, watching as he poured a thin broth soup into a heavy bowl. "Complicated?" She parroted, reaching to dip her finger in--as she had done to Sirius' food many a time--but Sirius swatted her hand away.

"Don't," He snapped. He saw the scowl on Tonks' face and he breathed a deep sigh. "I'm sorry. It's not mine. And it's been a long morning."

They were interrupted as Remus came in the kitchen, soaked in sweat and rubbing his eyes. "Hey, Padfoot, do we have any dreamless sleep?" When he lowered his hands, he blinked at Tonks and nodded to her absently, "Afternoon."

Tonks put her hands on her hips and frowned deeply. "What is going on? Is one of you sick?"

Remus and Sirius shared a look, "Not one of us..." Remus told her, accepting the tray with the bowl of soup and service-wear. He backed out of the room, shooting Sirius a sympathetic look as he left.

Sirius fanned himself with a pot lid and dropped tiredly into a chair. He motioned to another for Tonks and gave her a half-assed grin as she sat down across from him. "Snape is sick, not me or Remus."

"Snape? He's still here?" Tonks looked surprised, but he was unsure whether it was because of Snape's stay, or the fact that Sirius was cooking for him.

"Yea, he's still here." Sirius unbuttoned his shirt and whistled. "Merlin, is it hot in here?"

"No," Tonks eyed him oddly. "Why are you both so sweaty?"

Sirius laughed, "Snape's got a horrible temperature but he won't keep his blankets on so we've had to charm his bedroom."

"Is there anything I can do?" Tonks leaned forward, looking suitably worried.

"I don't think so," Sirius smiled at her. "But thanks for the offer."

"Padfoot!"

Sirius grinned weakly at the exasperated call from upstairs. "That's my cue." He excused himself and started up the stairs, not really noticing that Tonks came up behind.

Severus was throwing a fit. Remus was across the room, holding half a bowl of soup and covered in a good part of what was spilled.

"Good Lord, what are you two doing?" Sirius sighed.

"What are you trying to pull, mutt?" Severus scowled at him, sweat pouring down his face.

"What?" Sirius grumbled. He eyed Remus and fought a laugh at the wide-eyed gape on his face. "You might as well take that off, Remy. It isn't going to clean itself if you stare at it."

"The soup you imbecile, I refuse to eat anything you cook," Snape croaked as Remus began to untuck his shirt from his trousers.

"Then you won't eat," Sirius snarled.

Severus sneered at him, fingers curling into loose fists and sweat beading on his upper lip.

"Could I make you something, Professor Snape?"

All three male heads turned to the doorway. Tonks was shifting from one foot to the other.

"What is she--" Severus began to rant.

"That's quite alright," Remus cut him off, talking loudly over him. "Because Severus will eat this."

"I refuse," Snape snarled, wriggling angrily against his propped up pillows.

Remus carried the bowl and spoon back toward Severus, this time without a shirt. Sirius stood back out of range and watched with a keen eye. "Severus," Remus spoke in a clipped tone. Snape winced and scowled. "Open your mouth."

Growling and reluctant, Snape opened his mouth and Remus shoved a spoonful of soup in. "Now swallow it."

Severus made a face as he did and Remus rolled his eyes.

Tonks watched in awe from the doorway as Remus spoon-fed Snape another three times. Each time Severus made a horrified face as he swallowed. She watched in further surprise, bordering on shock, as Remus rolled his eyes and ate a bite himself--off of the same spoon! she thought--to appease Snape. Remus made a little face himself.

Sirius of course, took great offense. "It's not that bad!"

"It's fine, Padfoot, honest," Remus stirred the soup idly. "It's just a bit spicy. And with Severus'--" he stopped short as his gaze landed on Tonks, still loitering. "It's a bit spicy."

Thankfully, Sirius understood the abridged sentence. "Right. Fine." He growled, taking the bowl from Remus hands. "I'll just go see about something else than shall I?"

He stormed past Tonks and the metamorphous shuffled into the room to get out of his way. Immediately past the threshold, the heat of the room engulfed her. It was like a sauna. Remus and Severus didn't seem to notice her.

Lupin put a hand to Snape's forehead, trailing it to the man's cheek and then neck with a slight frown on his face. Severus sighed deeply and turned his face into Remus' touch. Tonks felt a small pang of jealousy in her stomach.

"I can't get the fever down, Severus. You'll have to sweat through it." Remus stood and retrieved a large, shallow bowl. He wrung out a towel and lay it against Severus throat, wrapping his neck.

"I know," Snape grunted, hissing as the cold contacted his skin.

"They say it's rougher on children," Remus leaned close to talk low. "And I managed to live through it. You're a full grown man who's faced the Dark Lord's wrath."

Snape snorted, eyes closing as he rested them.

Remus smiled softly, pushing a sweaty lock of hair from Severus' face.

"Oh," Tonks breathed softly, backing out of the room quietly. She bit her lip and turned to the stairs. She could see it, the gentleness and care radiating from Remus. She knew the werewolf was always gentle and cared for others, but he never touched them freely, and she had never seen that look on his face before.

Crestfallen, she went back to the kitchen and sat down silently at the table. Sirius was back at the stove.

"You look upset, are you alright?" Sirius asked her, peeking over his shoulder.

"Yea," Tonks said quietly, pouting a bit. "Just had a bit of an eye opener today, is all."

"Anything I can get you?" Sirius turned from his pot, taking out a teapot and cups. He turned to the cabinet of Snape's bottled potions for Remus and withdrew a slim vial of dreamless sleep.

"No thanks, I think I'll just head home. I'm beat."

"Alright," Sirius looked vaguely concerned and waved as she left, not once stumbling, dropping something or knocking anything over.

A tasteless pan of oatmeal was dumped into a clean bowl. Sirius rolled his eyes, swearing that if Severus didn't want to eat this he could damn well go without, he returned upstairs.

Remus was still seated beside Snape on the bed, eyeing the half-asleep man with worry.

"Here," Sirius said quietly, passing the bowl over.

"Where's Tonks?" Remus asked idly, spooning out a bite and tasting it himself. He shrugged as he swallowed and helped Severus sit up again.

"Gone home," Sirius said, leaning against the doorjamb. He watched in mild amusement as Remus had to strong arm Snape into the first few bites. After that, Snape snatched the bowl away and rested it on his stomach, feeding himself.

"Why don't you take a break, Moony?" Sirius told him, pushing the wolf off of the bed. "Take a shower and a nap. I'll sit in."

"I do not need to be hen-pecked and coddled," Severus grumbled between bites.

Remus swatted playfully at Snape with a half-grin and nodded to Sirius. He paused at his friend's shoulder and rested his head on it briefly before walking out. Sirius watched Remus disappear into his room with a grin before turning back to Snape.

Severus had stopped eating, staring unabashedly at Sirius with a strange gaze.

"What?" Sirius blurted, a bit unnerved.

Snape blinked, frowning and turned back to his bowl. He stirred the cold oatmeal a few times and set it aside.

"I brought this for you," Sirius stepped further in, taking the vial of dreamless sleep from his pocket. Severus scoffed and looked toward his grimy window. "Remus asked me to fetch it for you."

He watched as Snape's shoulders drooped and he reluctantly turned back. Snape held out a shaky hand for the vial, but Sirius ignored him and unstoppered it himself. He held it to Severus' lips and the potions master glared as he drank.

"Anything I can do for you?" Sirius asked in seriousness, watching Snape's eyes cloud over again.

"No," Snape grunted.

"What's the matter with you?"

Severus snorted, "I thought it was apparent."

"I mean, why are you suddenly so sullen? Is it Remus?"

Snape's eyes flashed and he sneered. "Why do you assume I want anything to do with Lupin?"

Sirius bit his cheek to keep from pointing out the obvious and tried another track. "Then you have a problem with me."

"I always have a problem with you, Black," Snape scoffed. He rolled awkwardly onto his side and breathed heavily.

"You have a problem with me and Remus. Me touching Remus." He knew he had struck a nerve when Severus stiffened. "Or is it Remus touching me?"

"I am sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"Look," Sirius went around the bed, ignoring the fact that Snape rolled away again and wrung out a towel. "Remy and I have been friends for years, it's normal. And if you're feeling irritated or," he paused with a grin, "jealous, then you have to get over it."

"Shut up," Severus snapped, shivering and sweating at once.

Sirius frowned as he watched. That was a bad sign. He forcefully rolled Snape onto his back and replaced the towel at his neck. He saw the tension and anger melt out of the potions master. Snape didn't have the energy to be this sick and angry at the same time.

Dipping the other towel, Sirius wrung it out a bit and stroked it timidly across Snape's hair. One of Snape's eyes cracked open in curiosity as Sirius wiped down through it again. Snape's hair grew damp in cool water and curled just slightly at the tips.

"Why are you doing this?" Severus mumbled.

"I figure it will help cool you off," Sirius explained, entirely missing the point.

"No you imbecile, why are you here, helping?" Severus closed his eyes, trying not to enjoy the calm, steady strokes of his hair.

Sirius paused and Snape opened his eyes again. "Well... because I should, and I can. I don't hate you, Snape." Sirius frowned deeply as though he regretted what he'd said. "It's like Remus said..." He trailed off, beginning his wipe again.

"What did Lupin say?"

Sirius smiled a little and turned back to the bowl to redip the rag. "That you deserve it. That we all deserve it." He turned back to Snape and grinned at the confused and flustered look on his sweaty face. "Understanding," he explained, "a friend, some affection."

"How utterly disgusting," Severus huffed, unconsciously helping as Sirius untucked the hair he lay on to wipe down.

"Isn't it?" Sirius said softly. He damped the whole of Snape's hair and sat with the wet towel on his lap. He had nothing else to do. He tugged the blankets straight and decided to replace the water in the bowl.

The water from the bathroom faucet was icy. Sirius refilled the bowl and set the towel inside. When he returned to Snape's bed, the potions master was asleep. He was honestly surprised that it took so long for the potion to take effect.

Remus knocked lightly on the door and stepped in. His hair was dripping on a towel he had across his shoulders. "How's he doing?"

"Asleep," Sirius stretched his neck. "He was angry."

"What for?" Remus frowned as he tucked his clean shirt into his pants.

"Mindless affection," Sirius laughed. "He doesn't show he enjoys the attention you give him, but he gets mighty touchy if you show me even a little."

A hint of color spread across Remus' cheeks and he looked oddly touched at what Sirius had said. The lycanthrope set his palm to Severus' forehead and sighed softly. "I hope it doesn't get worse. The fever anyway. He really hasn't been that bad yet."

"He hasn't?" Sirius scoffed. "Could have fooled me."

"Honestly," Remus frowned lightly, "if you can't handle it, don't try, alright."

"I'm fine, Remus," Sirius said stiffly.

"I know you are now, but if you can't then stop." Remus puffed up in slight anger.

"Shut up, both of you," Severus mumbled weakly from his pillows.

"Sorry," They both echoed.

"Shouldn't you be asleep? You took a potion..." Sirius frowned.

Snape's bleary eye glared up at him from through his hair. "It's hard to with you both bickering."

Remus brushed the hair from Snape's face with an apologetic smile. "Sorry. Go to sleep."

Severus sighed lightly and closed his eyes again. Remus moved from the room, rubbing at his hair with his towel and motioning for Sirius to leave the man alone. Sirius stuck out his tongue and stepped up to the bed. He smoothed back some of Snape's damp hair as well. It was drying quickly in the heat of the room and was unbelievably soft. He jumped as Snape's eye opened again and blinked in surprise up at him.

"Black, what are you doing?" Severus didn't sound angry, just muzzy and confused.

"Petting you," Sirius said cheekily, hand hovering an inch from Snape's hair and heart lodged somewhere in his throat from his shock of being caught.

Snape snorted softly and grunted, snuggling deeper into his blankets. Sirius snugged the blankets neatly across the man's shoulder and tucked a final lock of Snape's hair behind his ear. "We'll be downstairs," he whispered, "and we'll pop in often."

He left the room, shutting the door behind him. The air outside of Snape's room was unearthly cold. Sirius shivered and slapped himself in the forehead. He wasn't sure what it was he thought he was doing, but he didn't exactly regret what he had done. Besides, if Remus got to play nice with Snape, he should be able to as well.


	13. Night Terrors

Albus arrived after the evening meal. Remus and Sirius were looking decidedly tired, slumped as they were at the kitchen table. Half empty plates of cold dinner sat pushed away from them.

"Gentlemen," he said jovially, resting a hand on either man's shoulder.

"Evening Albus," Remus mumbled, rubbing at his temples and yawning wide.

"How is he doing?" The joy and laughter of Dumbledore's tone was gone, replaced by worry.

"Sleeping." Remus stood, offering his chair and taking another cup down from the cupboard. "He's been sleeping most of the day, which is good. When he's awake, it's almost unbearable to watch."

The Headmaster frowned deeply and pointed toward the stairway. "Would it be prudent to leave him be?"

"Go on," Remus smiled. "I doubt he'll wake, but he'd be very upset if he found out we locked you from his room."

Nodding, a small smile returned to his face, Albus excused himself and made his way up the stairs.

Severus' door was open an inch or so. He peeked carefully into the dim light before pushing it open and stepping inside. The warming charm on Snape's room had been removed after Severus finally slept heavily. The blankets were tucked tightly and he wasn't moving much within them.

Sweat stuck Snape's hair to his face and neck, color flushed his face from his fever. Albus sat down gingerly on the side of the bed. The bandaged hand sat beside Severus' head on the pillow. Albus took it carefully and pulled the bandages loose. The wound was raw edged and crusty, still soft and seeping at the very middle.

Clean linen was conjured and Dumbledore lovingly wrapped Severus' hand again.

"Madame Pomfrey has been insisting that I speak to her about your condition," he spoke softly as he pushed Severus' hair aside. "Of course, she does not know where you are or why you are here. She does, however, have a sixth sense for illness. She doesn't believe on your sabbatical at all." He smiled despite himself.

Severus shifted in his blankets, groaning in his sleep.

Albus pat the man's hand carefully and stood. He peered back into the darkness before he pulled the door too and watched Severus whimper softly in his sleep.

"Only sweet dreams, Severus," he wished him before turning to the stairs.

Remus had anticipated his needs and filled a teacup to the brim with hot, dark tea.

"What else is he in store for?" Albus sipped his tea carefully and looked mostly to Remus for his answer.

"The fever will last, and likely grow the closer we get to the full moon. He may get...visions, nightmares," Lupin was blushing lightly and staring into what remained of his cold tea. "More like night terrors, really," he amended softly.

"Is there no medications that can help him?"

"Not at this stage. Not at any stage that I know of." Remus sipped from his cup and looked pensive. "I might be able to find something in his books, but I doubt anything will help."

"A pity," Dumbledore sighed.

"Yes, but I imagine he'll pull through fine," Remus told him.

"I meant for you," Albus pinned him with his calm blue gaze. "At least Severus has a sympathetic ear to help him."

The color of Remus' face deepened drastically. He stuttered a bit then bit his lip. Sirius curled an arm about his shoulders protectively and hugged Remus to him.

"I imagine it will help you both," Albus continued as though the werewolf weren't near a simple breakdown only two chairs away. He took a final sip of tea, leaving better than half of a cup remaining. "I hate to run so quickly, but I find I could be more help finding supplies and another brew master to assist you."

"Of course," Sirius nodded, "thank you, Albus. We'll be sure to tell Severus you stopped by."

"I imagine I can tell him myself. I do intend to come back," Albus' eyes sparkled lightly and smiled as he left.

Sirius released his hold on Remus and cleared the dishes away. "Come on Moony," he tugged on Lupin's sleeve, "time for bed, it's been a long day."

"Severus--"

"I'll sit up with him for a portion of the night," Sirius promised. "I'll trade with you at one, how's that?"

"Fine," Remus smiled, allowing himself to be pulled up and tugged all the way up the stairs.

Sirius made sure he had lain down before he left him alone. Remus didn't dare sleep until he heard the door to Severus' rooms open and shut.

Snape's room was still dark, but much cooler. Sirius checked to make sure the man still slept and helped himself to the potions master's toiletries. He felt smelly and grungy from the day spent in the swelter of Severus' room.

He peeled his clothes off and made a face as they hit the floor with a squelch. The water was blasting and cold for a moment before turning pleasantly hot. There were a few open vials around the tub edge, none labeled. Sirius frowned as he picked one up after the other and sniffed at them. Snape would have to make his own cleaning products and not buy any. After an educated guess--a rather lengthy eenie meenie minie moe--Sirius took up a violet shaded bottle and poured a portion into his palm.

The contents didn't lather well, but it did smell quite nice and rinsed off easily. After another round of sniffs and samples, Sirius decided against washing his hair in anything Snape used. Besides, it wasn't as though it had worked well for the potions master.

He stayed under the spray for another ten minutes, just to enjoy the fall of water before shutting it off and realizing what a complete idiot he was. He hadn't popped into his rooms for any clothes, and he sure as hell wasn't about to put on his filthy garments from the floor.

Sirius emerged from Snape's bath with a thick towel around his waist and nothing else. Snape was still sleeping, though he looked a bit more animated. His face ticked and his visible hand curled into a fist and relaxed.

Timing himself to get a set of clothes--at least a robe and boxers--Sirius hurried from the room and trotted soundlessly to his own. He tugged a set of underwear on and rummaged through his messy drawers, sighing about his own lack of tidiness, and withdrew a pair of pajama bottoms.

The animagus quickly turned, snagging a tank top from the foot of his bed, and made it back to Snape's room in short order. He was proud of himself for his concentration. It was likely that he would have been sidetracked--by something shiny as Severus would have told him--and forgotten his responsibilities.

He was patting himself on the back when he entered the dark room, but quickly forgot his kudos'. Severus was literally thrashing on the bed, his unchecked magic whipping lighter objects through the air. Sirius got hit in the side with a lamp before he stopped gaping and lept into the room.

...oOo...

The darkness was not always Severus' friend. Most times it was a handy cover. He could cower in the shadows, holding his breath and watch as his father's cracked shoes pass by him without a single slow down.

Laying motionless beneath his bed was a welcome and familiar place. The fine layer of dust, the small, billowy balls of fluff and smell of floor wax were sights and smells of comfort for the first seven years of his life.

More than once, the little hovel beneath his bed was his saving grace. He would watch as light shone beneath his door, growing into a wedge that framed a thin and wiry man. His father's shoes echoed loudly in the emptiness and would stop five feet from the bed frame. The man could see no one slept there and would storm off in a rage. Severus didn't know whether to be thankful or mortified that his father turned to his mother. It would take the man nearly three years of Severus' hiding before the drunk realized his son was sleeping on the hard floors with the dust mites.

Eight years old, Severus was again lying, breathing in the dust and debris, trying not to breathe too deeply and start to cough. It was nearing midnight when the light in the hall came on. Severus held his breath and watched the growing spread of light creep across his floor. His father came stepping in as he did often.

This time, when the man paused several feet from the bed, he didn't turn and leave. He fell to his hands and knees and sneered at the surprised boy hiding beneath the box spring. With a snarl, the man grabbed him by the ankle and hauled him out.

Severus tried to grab hold of what he could, cutting his finger tips and the pads of his hands on the sharp spring ends and protruding nail-heads.

"Thought you were clever?" The man snarled, spittle flying from is lips. He took Severus by the hair, hauling him behind. "Think I don't know what you do during the day, eh? Turning your mother against me?" The man's rancid breath, reeking of gin, billowed across Severus' face and he gagged.

"I'll show you where you belong boy," he hissed. The man tossed Severus into the hall, rolling the slight boy into the wall and coming on quickly. He kicked Severus under the ribs and flipped him several feet down the hallway. The poor child couldn't breath, fragile ribs nearly broken and bruising thickly.

He was dragged by an arm toward his father's study. Severus could not catch his breath and screamed silently as he kicked and struggled. His father threw him face first into the room, smiling as Severus tripped over a chair and fell hard on his elbows.

His father hissed, dragging him up by the hair and stepping decidedly toward a window-box seat. The books and pillows that sat on it were sent scattering by the man's free arm and Severus finally did scream as the lid was brought up.

He was thrown bodily into the tight space, arching up beneath his father's press on his chest and sobbing brokenly. His father's face loomed over his, the dark eyes glazed with alcohol and glee. "Should have beat you from your mother's belly. Demon seed you are, child. I can see it in your face." His father looked disgusted and each word he said struck a blow to Severus as hard as his father's fists ever had. "Back to the womb you should have died in!" His father bellowed, slamming the lid down quickly.

Severus beat hard at the cover, beginning to scream again as he heard a lock slip into the latch. "Please!" He cried, slapping his palms against the rough grain as he begged.

What little light he could get through the cracks around the trap went out and he heard his father's study door shut with a bang. His mother wouldn't get him tonight. His father had already locked the door.

...oOo...

Severus woke with a start, smashing the heel of his hand forward and connecting. Whatever was beneath broke with a wet crack and whoever he struck cried out.

"Jesus Christ, Snape!"

Heart pounding hard in his chest, Severus realized his ribs still ached from his dream and the pain was slowly beginning to fade. As the haze cleared he recognized Sirius Black holding his nose and leaning against the wall beside his bed. He was wringing out a cloth and pressing it to his face.

"Black?" He said shakily, watching Sirius dab at his bleeding nose and glare at him.

"Who else you great git?!" Sirius fumed, pinching the bridge of his nose and wincing.

The dark of the room rushed at him and to Severus' horror, his eyes welled with tears. "No," he said softly, cowering into the pillows.

"You were throwing some kind of fit," Sirius accused, stepping into the bathroom and examining his swelling face. "My God, what's wrong with you?"

"Light," Severus mumbled, eyes wide as he stared around him. Fear crept into his system and every shadow danced with his father's vile gaze.

"What?" Sirius stuck his head back into the bedroom, still a bit disgruntled but not as angry as he had been.

"For the love of Merlin, please turn on the light," Severus barked.

Sirius flicked the switch, mouth open and face confused but he stopped from saying anything as he saw the horror on Snape's face. "Are you alright?"

Snape flung the covers over his head and shook his head violently from side to side. He felt like a five year old, but couldn't help himself. The bed dipped beside him, Severus stiffened. A firm hand took hold of the blankets and pulled them from his hands, revealing his head again.

"Snape, did you have a nightmare?" Sirius was sitting beside him, dried blood on his chin and looking calm despite it.

"No," Snape told him quietly. He didn't meet Sirius' gaze. "It was... was..." He couldn't bring himself to finish.

"Do you want me to get Remus?" Sirius asked him. When Snape looked up he could see panic and a bit of hurt on the animagus' face.

"No." They sat in silence, Severus was calming as time passed and Sirius had gone back to gingerly touching his nose.

The potions master yawned widely and struggled to keep his eyes open. Sirius was grinning at him and pushed gently on his shoulder until Severus finally lay down and pulled the blankets back up.

"Do you want me to leave the lights on?" Sirius asked gently, trying not to stir either of them up.

"Turn them off," Snape said with more conviction than he felt. He watched Sirius walk to the wall and tensed as the light switch was struck. Darkness engulfed him quickly and he stared hard into the shadows until his vision sharpened and he could make out the outlines of the room's contents. "Are you staying?"

Even in the dark, Severus could see the surprise on Sirius' face. "Yea, unless you want me to go."

Silence stretched and finally Severus looked back at him, "Stay. Please." The last word was spoken softly, in the voice of a child.

"Okay, Snape," Sirius spoke mildly, "okay."

The animagus sat in a chair by the door, propping his feet at the foot of Severus' bed. Snape watched him soften as he relaxed.

"It was a memory," the potions master whispered to the dark.

"I'm sorry," Sirius told him, his voice as dulcet as Snape's.

"It wasn't you," Severus told him, half serious, "don't apologize."

A brief smirk flickered on Sirius' face. The animagus stood and brought a cup to Snape. The potions master took a grateful drink without bothering to ask if it was laced with any draughts. Sirius returned it to the bedside table as Snape turned onto his side, willing actual dreamless sleep to take him.

Sirius' hand touched his forehead, fingers cool and welcome against his heated skin. He couldn't help turning his face into it, mortified and eased at the same time. The hand withdrew and Severus sighed despite himself.

"Sleep, Snape. I'll be here to keep the bad dreams at bay," There was a wide grin on Sirius' face and Severus huffed, oddly thankful that Sirius was being insensitive. There was a solace in the tone that wasn't there in Black's words.

"Thank you, Black," Severus whispered before he could stop himself.

The cocky grin on Sirius' face fell and the animagus looked at him with true worry as he bit his lip. Severus snorted and shifted further into his pillows.

...oOo...

True to his promise, Sirius stretched himself awake at one and checked Snape quietly before crossing the hall.

Remus was chewing on the corner of his pillow in his sleep. A tense furrow marred the smooth spot between his eyebrows. Sirius smiled despite himself and touched it with his thumb. Remus sighed softly and the stress melted away under Sirius' touch.

"Remy?" Sirius skimmed the wolf's hair with the tips of his fingers.

"Mmmm?" Lupin shifted, rolling flat on his back.

"There you are, Moony," Sirius smiled as Remus ground the heels of his hands into his eyes and yawned.

"Too early," Remus mumbled, rolling onto his side. He pulled Sirius down onto the bed--much to Sirius' surprise--and buried his face into Sirius' shoulder. His arms threaded around the animagus' waist and pinned him tightly in place.

"Remus Jonathan Lupin," Sirius breathed with a laugh. Remus stirred, drawing his head back enough to look up sleepily. "As much fun as this is, I believe it's your turn with the Slytherin Terror."

The sleepy confused look that spread across Remus' face was nearly too much for Sirius. He felt himself being drawn towards his friend's face, his eyes slanting closed of their own accord but before he actually managed to kiss him, Remus' eyes widened and he lept from the bed.

"Severus!"

Startled, Sirius fought the heat that warmed his cheeks and climbed off of the bed at his own pace. He watched Remus rummage for a jumper, and filled him in. "Snape had a nightmare around ten. A doozy too. Unchecked magic and all of that. He hasn't since, but his temperature is still up."

"Right, right," Remus nodded, mumbling to himself and tugged his sweater over his head. "Sirius, I know I've been giving you a hard time about this, but I want to thank you for going this far."

"I already told you, Moony, I want to." Sirius felt his stomach clench and his heart stopped beating for a second as Remus spun toward him quickly and took his face in his hands. "Moony?"

"What's happened to your nose, Padfoot?"

Sirius let out a relieved laugh and touched the bridge. "That was my reward for waking Snape from his dream. It's a bit tender, but it'll do in a couple of days."

Remus looked vaguely upset and touched the swelling gingerly, "Do you want to take anything for it?"

"Naw," Sirius grinned wide. "It doesn't hurt so bad anymore and it'll give Snape a laugh for another day."

"Alright," Remus appeared thoughtful, a lightness about his face that made Sirius proud of what he'd said, even if he didn't know why. "Go to sleep, there's still five more days of a sick Severus to go through yet. And then..."

"Right," Sirius sobered.

He followed Remus into the hall and watched the shorter man disappear into Snape's room. On the short path to his room, Sirius wondered what exactly had come over him when he lay next to Remus. He had shared many a bunk with the man before and hadn't felt a desire for him. Maybe he was just tired. It's possible it had been a fluke. Or maybe he was lonely.

...oOo...

Remus could smell the heightened musk of Severus' sweat as he shut the door. An under tang of the copper was the taste of fear from Snape's nightmare. It was a weak taste, but there enough to notice; it left a bitter film on the back of the tongue.

One palm found Snape's forehead and the sleeping man moaned beneath it before resettling in sleep again.

Remus sat in the chair Sirius had vacated, wondering if there really was anything he could do to help Severus. Albus believed so, but whether or not he had the actual skills or drive to help the potions master, Remus was starting to doubt.

It was a lifetime ago that Remus went through the change. Most of it was spent in such intense fever and pain that only those aches were present when he tried to remember what else could happen in the next 120 hours.

Those pains, and his mother's face.

All he had wanted was the comfort his mother brought. Now, in hindsight, he couldn't blame the woman for running as she had. He had begun tearing things apart without regard to what or who it was. It was the pain that did it. It left him writhing on the bedspread and curling his fingers into whatever soft thing he could get a hold of.

Remus stared at Severus through the darkness and promised himself that the sick wizard would do better.


	14. Depth of a Promise

Dawn light was spilling through the dirty window when Remus came to with a start and realized that Severus was waking. He watched the man carefully, not willing to impose on his private moments or alienate him by fluttering about.

Snape sat up slowly, achingly, and turned to put his feet to the floor. Remus watched with hooded eyes and tensed muscles as Severus painfully limped into his bathroom. In a not-so long stretch of time, Snape emerged with something bundled in his hands. He paused in the entry of the bath and looked over at Remus.

"I presume these do not belong to you."

Stretching as he stood, Remus eyed what Snape held out to him, "What is it?"

Snape gave them over eagerly and fell back into his bed with a grunt.

"My God, are these Sirius' clothes?" A flush of unchecked jealousy ran through Remus as immediately his mind popped up images of Sirius naked in Snape's bathroom; Sirius mostly naked in Snape's room; Sirius naked in Snape's bed.

"They are not mine," Severus growled into his pillow. "And that damned mutt has taken my last towel."

Remus nodded tensely and stalked from Snape's room with Sirius' shirt clenched in one hand and jeans clenched in the other. He didn't even want to know if the man had worn any underwear since they were conspicuously absent.

He didn't bother with knocking and burst into Sirius room, throwing the filthy clothes in Sirius' face as the animagus sat up.

"Remus?" The man squinted up at him.

"What were your clothes in Severus' bathroom?"

It took a moment for Sirius to process what had been asked, he then pushed the filthy clothes onto the floor with a face. "Laying on the floor in a heap I imagine."

"That's not what I meant," Remus hissed.

"Calm down, Remy, I just took a shower."

"You were supposed to be watching him, not stripping!"

Sirius struggled to kick himself out from beneath his blankets. "Look Remus, stop busting my balls, alright! I took a quick shower, very quick and Snape is perfectly fine." Sirius stomped into his bathroom and splashed his face. He glared up at Remus' reflection and tried to read his friend's face.

"Severus needs a towel," Remus said stiffly after a moment. He stalked out of Sirius room and nearly tore the linen closet door off of its hinges.

Remus returned to Snape's room, silently fuming, with a fresh towel. He laid it in Severus' bathroom and sat down heavily in the chair. He glanced up and saw the potions master was watching him with a drowsy yet calculating gaze.

Sirius knocked soundly on the door frame and entered without once looking at Remus. "How are you feeling, Snape?"

Severus looked between the two Gryffindors with one eyebrow raised. "I'm hot and miserable."

"Good to hear," Sirius grinned. He entered further and paced around the bed. "Remus has gotten you a towel, do you want help getting a bath?"

Severus snorted while grudgingly accepting the help up. "I am capable of that myself."

"Here," Sirius steadied the darker wizard and deftly undid the buttons on Snape's pajama top. "We'll be here if you need help."

Severus stared hard at him, his face grim. "Whatever." He pushed past Sirius and into the bathroom.

Sirius and Remus gave each other hard stares until Snape kicked the bathroom door shut with a bang.

"That wasn't necessary," Remus said softly, voice edged in steel.

"I know you're trying to save Severus from himself, Remus, but you can't do everything." Sirius crossed his arms over his chest and frowned.

The lycan prickled and rose out of his chair. "You don't know what he's going through--"

"No, I don't!" Sirius shouted. "I'm not even pretending that I do. And I'm sorry no one was there for you Remus, but I am here trying to help Snape! If you can't handle the fact that someone might want to be around him even though he might be a werewolf, then I don't know how I could have failed that badly as a friend. I've never shied from you Remus, not once, and I'm not about to start." Sirius left the room, stalking to his own bedroom.

Remus stared after him, hearing the door slam with a crack. He slumped back into his seat and cradled his head in his hands. The door opened to the bathroom and Severus shuffled back out, his pj top still somewhere in the bathroom.

"Get out," the darker haired man snapped.

"Severus?"

"Stop moping in my room, Lupin," Severus rolled his eyes and turned around in a slow circle. Remus finally saw the smattering of scars Sirius had told him of weeks ago. "God forbid the Marauder's have a falling out because of a greasy Slytherin."

"Will you be--"

"Fine!" Snape grumbled, glaring over his shoulder. "Get out."

"I'll be right back," Remus promised. He left Snape's room cautiously and walked uncomfortably toward Sirius' room. He wasn't sure how he could fix what he'd said. Sirius had been right, he was unfathomably jealous of the new relationship he had with Severus, not to mention how entirely unflinchingly he worked around Snape.

"Padfoot," Lupin whispered at the doorframe.

The knob turned slowly beneath his fingers and he was suddenly launching himself at a surprised Sirius. He hugged the animagus tight, biting his lips until his wave of remorse passed.

"You are a good friend, Siri!" He half blubbered into Sirius' neck. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Sirius had overcome his shock and held onto Remus just as viciously as the wolf did. A flood of relief washed across him and he rocked them back and forth. He thought he had overstepped his bounds and hurt Remus badly.

"I'm sorry," he murmured into Lupin's ear, soothing the wolf as he ran his hands up and down his back. "There's nothing wrong with you, Moony. You're still sick too, remember? And it's been stressful, I know."

Remus leaned out a bit so that he could look at Sirius and still cling to him. "I'm jealous," he admitted with a deep blush. "I always wished that someone would have been there with me too."

"I'm here now," Sirius shrugged with a small smile. "I know it's not the same--"

Remus narrowed his eyes and took Sirius' face in his hands much like he had very early that morning. "It's the same," he felt on the verge of crying again. "Well, it's not the same, but it's the same." He was flustered and embarrassed.

Sirius smiled at him, "I get it. Let's put it on the back burner for now, yea? Snape is still sick down the hall."

"Right," Remus nodded, dropping his head back to Sirius' shoulder. "Go back to sleep, Padfoot." Remus reluctantly let go and returned to the hall.

"Remy," Sirius hooked him by the shoulder and swung him around. In a flash, Sirius' head dove in and a dry kiss grazed across Remus' cheek. The animagus back-stepped into his room and shut the door.

Dazed silence came from the wolf as he touched his cheek with his fingers. A shaky, stupid smile came to his face and Remus nearly glided down the hall to Severus' room.

Snape's bathroom door was still shut and Remus made himself useful by changing the sheets on the bed. The dirty sheets were thrown down the laundry chute and fresh linen was spread out easily across the mattress. Remus was humming to himself as he restuffed the pillows and tugged the blankets tight.

"Lupin," an annoyed voice called from within the bathroom. Remus pressed his ear to the door and answered. "Would you... I need..."

Remus grinned a bit. Snape was attempting to ask for help, he just knew it. "Just a second," he said loudly, giving Severus a moment to gather his bearings. He opened the door slowly and saw Severus sitting hunched in the tub, curls of steam rising from the water.

"Are you alright, Severus?"

The potions master turned his head a fraction of an inch and glanced at him. "I don't have the energy to get up."

Frowning, his moment of bliss forgotten, Remus rolled his sleeves up and came in further. He shook the towel open and threw it over his shoulder. "Alright, not a problem," Remus told him assuredly.

Snape's skin was glowing marble when wet. The pale, fish belly white scars stuck out like thin lines of silk. Remus knew it was a whole new level of depression and acceptance of his situation that kept Snape quiet and tense. The usually solitary and self-reliant man had to now rely on others and have constant company.

He lightly touched Severus' shoulder in silent warning before he squatted by the tub and laced his arms around Snape's chest, hoisting him up from the water. Severus wheezed as the air was squeezed from his chest but mostly stayed limp and unresponsive. Remus shuffled them a step to the wall and allowed Snape to lean against it with his eyes closed.

The towel was taken from his shoulder and Remus wiped Snape down in a business-like manner. Down each leg, then each arm. The only thing that Remus really took the time to look at was Severus' back as he dried the man's hair. The scars were far more numerous than he thought. They crossed each other, some running the length of his back, others only an inch or so. Most were straight lines, few curved and there on his lower back Remus saw the scarring that could only be the belt buckle Sirius had told him of.

His heart went out to Snape, and he was angry at all those people that had dared hurt him that badly. Wrapping the towel around Severus' waist, he tucked the end neatly and finally noticed the trembling of the man's limbs.

"Come on, Severus," he spoke gently, wrapping the potion master's arm over his shoulders and holding him tightly by the waist. They walked slowly into the bedroom and Remus lowered him to the freshly made bed.

A clean set of pajamas were taken from the dresser. Remus lay them gently beside Snape and looked up at him expectantly. "Do you prefer underwear?" He was surprised he had actually managed to ask without turning crimson. Snape just shook his head, eyes still averted. "Right," Remus mumbled, shaking out the pajama bottoms. He pulled them as far as Severus' knees and had the man stand.

Snape grunted and swatted him away, swaying until Remus settled him with a hand on his shoulder. Severus bent uneasily and drew the bottoms up with shaking hands. He pulled the towel away and let it fall to the floor. When he finally looked up to Lupin, his eyes were fogged and far away.

Remus' heart went out to him. He pulled the pajama top over Snape's head and helped hold the material down as Severus pushed his arms through the sleeves.

"How did you manage?" Snape asked him with a hoarse voice.

"Manage what?" Remus helped him shuffle backward until he was pressed against the headboard.

"This," Severus waved an irritable hand at himself, "as a child."

Remus felt his body tense but tried his best to forget the fact and try to answer Severus' question. "It was not easy," he admitted carefully. "When I reached this stage my mother believed I was sick. She took care of me then."

Snape's eyes had regained their sharpness. "And after?"

This time, Remus did stop altogether. "Maybe we should talk about it later," he smiled shakily.

Severus grabbed hold of his wrist and prevented him from fleeing the room. "Answer me, Lupin," he said gently, at least as gently as Severus Snape ever got.

Memories resurfaced painfully and Remus sat down on the edge of the bed, curling a bit in on himself. "She... she was not there for the next stage."

"And your father?"

Remus felt his eyes well and turned his face away to stare at the doorway. "He... was not helpful."

"Did he force your mother out?"

"Yes," Remus whispered, then shook his head. "No, I did."

"Which is it, yes or no?" Severus prodded.

"Both." Lupin sighed heavily and rubbed his face with his hands. "He told her what I was, but she didn't believe him until it was too late."

Severus was quiet for a moment and Remus dared to look back at him. "You attacked her."

Horror filled Remus and his mouth opened into a gape. His lungs burned and after a moment he nodded dumbly and felt a single hot tear trail down his face. He had never admitted to anyone before that he had indeed attacked his mother.

Snape's shaking hand fell to his shoulder and squeezed briefly. Remus turned toward him and fell across the bed, burying his face into Severus' chest and hugging the other tightly.

Snape was surprised and stared down at the grey streaked head that lay beneath his chin. His hands hovered in the air over Remus' body, fluttering from fatigue. He had expected Remus to respond as he had to his questions, but not for Lupin to find comfort from him. In his head he tried to remember all that was said to write in his journal later. He had lost a couple of days of Remus' treatment, and though he was sick, he could still try his best to give Lupin what he needed.

Gingerly he touched Remus' hair. He let it rest there on the back of Lupin's head and threaded his fingers through the soft locks. Remus was not quite crying, biting his lip and clenching his eyes shut. Snape lightly pet the wolf's hair, still surprised and wishing that his journal and ink were within reach. He would have to ask for someone to retrieve it later.

Sirius took that moment to push open the door. He had a tray in his hands and the smile that was on his face fell away into confusion and then suspicion. "I thought you might be hungry," he mumbled as he set the tray on a dresser without looking at what he was doing.

Remus picked his face up out of Snape's chest and blinked tearily at the animagus. He sat up, wiping his face quickly and helped Sirius with the tray.

"What's going on?" He whispered harshly toward Lupin.

Remus' shoulders sagged, "Breakdown," he gave him a watery smile. Sirius gave him a curious look but let the subject drop for the time being.

"Here we are, Severus." Remus gave him a plate with fruit and toast. The potions master picked at it, eating very little as Lupin and Sirius avoided looking at each other and Sirius glared at him from across the room.

"Eat this, Lupin," he shoved the plate back toward the wolf a short time later. Remus took it and went to return it to the tray but Severus cleared his throat. "Eat it, right here where I can see." Snape was glaring and Lupin sat down with the plate, eating as gingerly as Severus had been.

After ten minutes of picking, Remus returned the plate to the tray and announced that he was going to take a shower himself. He disappeared into the corridor before either Sirius or Snape could make any comment.

Sirius continued to glare at Snape for five minutes until he finally exploded. "What did you do?"

"I do not know what you are talking about," Severus feigned disinterest and relaxed into his pillows.

"Liar," Sirius snarled. He stalked toward the bed and stared down at Snape. "You made him cry," he accused, hands curling into fists.

"I did," Snape admitted.

"On purpose?"

Severus seemed to consider this, "I knew it was a possibility."

"You evil bastard," Sirius growled, on the balls of his feet and ready to launch himself at the bed ridden wizard. "Did you get some sick pleasure from it? He's trying to help you and you knock him down?"

"Not quite," Severus snapped. "You know he is still sick. Or did you already forget? I'm doing what I must."

"And that means making him upset?"

"If it happens to be so, yes." Severus pointed toward his journal, snatching it from Sirius' hands when the animagus reluctantly retrieved it. "I asked him about his own turning. It was a delicate subject."

The quill in his hand scratched in the silence for a while. Severus had filled three complete pages before he pressed the quill in his spot and shut the journal. When he glanced at Sirius he saw the animagus' face was no longer set and angry.

"He told you what happened?" Sirius sounded vaguely hurt.

"Not entirely. Mostly a brief and vague illustration. I hope he will be comfortable enough to tell the entirety of the tale in a couple of weeks." Severus set his journal on the bedside stand. "Hand me that text there, no the other one."

Sirius passed the heavy tome to Snape and winced as it fell from the darker wizard's hands and heavily onto his lap. Severus huffed and turned the pages rapidly until he came to the spot he wanted. "Sit down a moment, Black."

Sirius drew the chair to the bed and sat down near the edge of the bed as close as the chair and his knees would allow.

"There are still a couple of stages Lupin has yet to go through. Both of them can be lengthy depending upon Lupin's state of mind and ability to handle what he must face." Severus ran his fingers down the text and paused. "The first, he must willingly tell of himself as a wolf. His change, his first transformation, and whatever other stories he has as a wolf that he is reluctant to remember. Knowing what little I do of Lupin, I would say any story about his being a lycan will be hard for him to discuss."

Sirius nodded solemnly in agreement. "What's the second?"

"Voluntary transformation within the lunar cycle."

"What?" Sirius deadpanned.

"He has to change--pieces of himself, his whole self, whichever; though preferably both---sometime other than the full moon when he is forced to do so."

"Oh," Sirius' eyes were wide. "That's going to be hard for him."

"I know," Severus nodded, turning a few pages idly before shutting the book. "I hope that I will recover from this quickly. Missing days at a time of treatment will only make it harder."

"Look, Snape, you can't expect to do it when you're sick. This is a big deal."

"You don't think I know that?" Severus fumed, "I am the one that was bitten!"

"I get it!" Sirius shouted back. "I'm just telling you to take it easy."

"Forgive me for doubting your sincerity," Severus drawled in sarcasm.

"I meant it," Sirius snapped. "If I know what to do, I could help too."

Snape looked unimpressed and stared flatly at Sirius for a moment. He sighed softly and nodded. "It is true. Especially for the next few days."

"Good," Sirius looked eager and sat forward on his chair. "What should I do?"

"Make him talk about it," Severus said bluntly. "Any hard stories should be wheedled out of him. The harder it is for him to speak of it, the more you should push."

"That sounds awful," Sirius frowned deeply.

"It is," Snape told him. "Telling others your hardest kept secrets is not easy and can open more wounds than it will heal."

"Then why?"

"It's part of the process." Severus offered the book to Sirius who returned it gingerly. The animagus returned his chair to its place and refilled Snape's water glass. "He's doing very well despite it all."

Sirius felt a bit better at that. "Really?"

"He has an innate need to share his horrors," Severus sighed softly and rubbed his eyes. He was getting very tired from the mornings activities. "It is a shame he was bitten as a child, or bitten at all for that matter. He is very responsive to affection and trust. He could have been well loved and more wealthy than even Lucius Malfoy if he hadn't."

Sirius stood rooted, he stared unbelievingly at Snape unsure if he had heard correctly. Considering the past between Remus and Snape, it was saying something for the lycan's loving ability to even impress Snape in such a way. Sirius was inclined to agree with him. "I know," he said softly. "I hate that he mistrusts himself so badly he has never loved anyone. Or let anyone love him."

Severus shifted down into his bed so his head lay on the pillows and pulled the blankets to his chin. "You lie," he told Sirius with a smirk.

"Huh?"

"You love him, and he allows it. He is only afraid to reciprocate and not because of what you'll do." Severus was amused at the embarrassed blush that crept up Sirius neck and into his face. "He is afraid of what he will do."

Sirius nodded dumbly, fiddling with whatever his hands came into contact with. "I think he's sheltered himself so long it's too new."

Snape grunted, not quite agreeing. Though the sun was rising and his room was growing brighter, he was still very tired. The heat of his body was growing again since he was dried completely from his bath. His body was tired, his brain was tired and he knew that the hell he was only just beginning to suffer was going to grow. If Remus' admission was anything, he had snapping, biting and clawing at others to look forward to yet.

He fell asleep under Sirius' watchful gaze and blessedly dreamt of nothing.

...oOo...

By afternoon, the awkwardness of the early morning was forgotten by Remus and Sirius in the form of a groaning Severus Snape.

Sirius and Remus both sat at the kitchen table with Tonks, Arthur and Albus. Molly was currently upstairs with the potions master, giving the two ex-Gryffindors a chance to take a breather.

"The fever has increased exponentially," Remus rubbed at his eyes and leaned impolitely on his elbows against the table. "Nothing eases it. Not cool water, not cooling charms, nothing."

"He won't stop moaning," Sirius blurted, face waxen and heavily lined.

"Siri," Remus admonished with a frown.

"It's disconcerting," Sirius defended himself.

"There is nothing he can take?" Arthur asked them with wide eyes. He and Molly had been told of Severus' ailment only that morning. Molly had demanded to go immediately and help as she could, but Albus had made them wait and asked Remus and Sirius if it would be a good idea for Severus to know that other's were now aware of his ailments.

"No, it won't help. The warring in his system would just eat it up. It would be more of a hassle getting him to drink it than any good that could come of it." Remus sat back as Molly entered the kitchen.

The Weasley matriarch took a seat next to her husband and took his hand in hers. "He looks dreadful," she told them all needlessly.

"What, if anything, would be good for the man?" Albus sighed heavily.

"Now? Not much of anything," Remus told them, smiling gently at the consolation Arthur and Molly gave each other easily. "Tomorrow or the day after when the fever plateaus, he'll probably babble and be able to get something decent into his system to help."

"Meat," Sirius said loudly. "Bloody meat."

"Excuse me?" Albus blinked his wide blue eyes.

Remus gave Sirius a confused look and the animagus shrugged. "I've been looking through the books he's got in his room. At least two of them mention bits of bloody meat. It helps appease the craving, even if he doesn't become a werewolf when all is said and done."

"Well, that's a start anyway." Albus nodded his head. "If you don't mind, I think I'll go up."

"Can I do anything for you guys?" Nymphadora finally spoke up. Remus and Sirius looked exhausted. No doubt they were running themselves ragged trying to get Snape's needs tended to.

Remus shook his head, "I think it's just a time trial, Tonks. But thank you."

The metamorphagus nodded glumly and sipped her cold tea.

Albus returned down the stairs and paused in the kitchen entry with a queer look on his face. "Sirius," he breathed. "Severus is asking for you."

The animagus nodded and went quickly upstairs without a qualm or question. Everyone in the kitchen except for Remus looked surprised at the potions master's request.

"I take it Severus and Sirius are making amends with each other," Albus sat down in his seat.

Remus shrugged, "I don't know. They talk when I'm not in the room, that much is certain, but they are only ever cordial in my presence." A cloud passed over Lupin's face.

"It's because of you," Albus smiled gently. "They've come together in similarity, and you are that similarity. Sirius because of his love for you, and Severus in his duty, at least at first."

Remus tinted pink but did not accept or deny Dumbledore's statement. It was a good possibility, but he wasn't about to allow himself the luxury of thinking that two strong willed and decent men were putting aside their differences for him alone.

Upstairs, Severus was twisted in his sheets and soaked to the bones in sweat. The air of the room was stale and tainted with the smell. The man's pillows were knocked to the floor and one onyx eye was squinted nearly shut.

"Black?"

"Yea, what do you need?" Sirius shut the door behind him and walked to the foot of the bed.

Severus struggled to sit up. Sirius held him to the bed with one hand and shushed him soundly. "You can't get up, Snape, you're really sick. What do you want? I'll get it."

"Notebook," Severus croaked, pointing to the bedside table.

Sirius nodded, recognizing it as the one Snape had used earlier that morning. "I've got it." He tried to press it into Snape's hand but the potions master wouldn't take. Severus shook his head violently from side to side.

"You use it," Snape hissed, tapping on the cover with one finger. "When you speak to Lupin, you use it. Write down what he tells you in as much detail as you can. His words, his emotions, when he chose to close down and avoid a question. All of it. Can you do that?"

"Yea, Snape. I can do that," Sirius held the journal loosely, feeling oddly alarmed that Snape was asking him to do the work. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"No," Severus laughed hard, painfully and loud. "I feel like I'm dying."

"Stop it," Sirius demanded, shaking the darker wizard by the shoulders. Immediately Snape stopped laughing and began to groan again. "I'll do it, but I can't help Remy, you have to. I'm just an idiotic Gryffindor remember?"

A wavering smirk plastered to Snape's face. "I will never forget." Seriousness permeated Severus' entire being and he locked his eyes with Sirius. "You write all you can. Make him talk. When I come out on the other side of this I want to start in with transformation, do you understand me? Make him talk about everything."

"I'll do my best."

"No!" Severus roared, arching off of the bed and grabbing Sirius by the shoulders with a strength that belied his sick countenance. "You will do it. There is no trying."

"Fine," Sirius snapped. "I'll do it."

Snape went boneless and fell onto the mattress, breathing roughly and wracked in shivers. "Good. Now go away."

Sirius stood from the edge of the bed and scowled, but backed away to the door as Snape wanted. The potions master was curled in the fetal position on the middle of the mattress and rocking slightly back and forth.

The agony of Severus' body made Sirius' stomach clench and bile rise in his throat. Snape felt horrible enough to believe he was dying. The animagus set the journal down on the dresser by the door and shuffled back into the room.

Snape cracked open an eye as the bed dipped behind him. He tried to turn over but didn't have the strength. A strong arm wound around his stomach and pulled him up tightly to a solid chest.

"What the hell--?!"

"Shut up," Sirius grunted, winding his other arm beneath Snape's head and folding it back. He brushed the hair off of Severus' forehead and relaxed in the bed.

"Black--"

"Shut up, Snape!" Sirius huffed, tightening his hold around the potions master. "I'm not going to rape you and you're ruining the moment."

Severus snorted but ceased to struggle and actually melded back into the warmth and comfort Sirius provided after a few minutes. Sirius was thankful the man had simply accepted it. He was surprised at his own behavior for Merlin's sake. He knew he had to get up before someone came up to check on them, but Snape was just starting to drift to sleep and the shakes that wracked the wizard's body were starting to die down.

The animagus relaxed as well and focused on how his arm rose and fell gently with Snape's easy breaths. Before he could rouse himself, he had fallen asleep as well.


	15. Telling Yourself Lies

Sirius had been upstairs for a long time. Remus was a bit worried, but when he stood from the table to check Molly pushed him back into his seat.

"Never you mind, Remus," She shushed him, "I'll go take a peak shall I? You'll have enough running to do when we're gone." Mrs. Weasley smiled and patted his shoulder.

Lupin watched her go and shook his head.

"I can stay and help if you'd like," Tonks blushed a bit and smiled.

Remus laughed lightly and shook his head, "That's quite alright. I don't think Severus would appreciate everyone knowing he was ill, much less waiting on him like an invalid."

Tonks shrugged, a bit down-heated and took up her tea. Molly came into the kitchen, walking into a chair and stumbling. Arthur caught her and gave her a worried once-over.

"Are you alright?"

"Hmm?" Molly blinked, idly rubbing her shin. "Oh, I'm fine. Just a bit surprised."

"Oh? Is everything fine upstairs?" Remus panicked a bit, standing abruptly.

Molly surprised them with a hearty laugh. "I should say so."

Albus smiled and stroked his chin, "They have not throttled each other I take it."

"Both sound asleep actually," Molly giggled into her hand and sighed. "Both of them."

Confused and a bit irritated with Sirius' ability to fall asleep on watch, Remus snuck from the room with only Tonks' wandering eye watching him slip into the hall.

The door to Snape's room was a jar. Remus pushed it open and quietly stepped inside. The chair by the door was empty. No Sirius. With a furrowed brow, Remus turned his eyes to find Severus and got more than he expected.

There was Sirius. Curled around Severus. Holding Severus while they both slept.

Remus felt as though someone had kicked him in the chest. He breathed shallowly, and each breath hurt. His vision bled into black and white. He stalked to the side of the bed and stared down at them, curled so fittingly together. Peas in a pod, the muggles called it.

Remus had the sudden urge to make pea soup.

...oOo...

Sirius was startled from a rather bland dream when something shattered by his head. He sat up, startled and pulled the body beside him up tight to protect them as well. A cry of rage shook him completely awake and he saw Remus, eyes literally glowing brilliant amber.

"Remy?" He bleated, coming to with a start as the body he held groaned pitifully and struggled. Sirius stared down and let go of Snape. Frantically his brain tried to remember what the hell was going on.

The lycan growled deep and paced around the bed, picking up Snape's water glass and crushing it in his fist. Water, blood and shattered glass littered the floor. "Get away from him!" Lupin snarled, not knowing which man he was talking to.

Sirius crab-walked off of the bed and fell to the floor with a thump. When he regained his feet, his own face was pale and angry. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Shut up!" Remus snarled, staring between Snape and Sirius. The potions master was finally coming around to what was happening in his room.

Remus drove his fist through the small desk, sending the books atop it flying in every direction. Severus winced as the oldest and most delicate fell with a bang to the floor.

"Lupin, what the hell are you doing?" He croaked, trying to sit up futilely. The wolf spun, piercing him to the bed with his eyes.

"What am I doing?" Remus hissed, "What the hell are you two doing?!"

"Remus, look, calm down--" Sirius attempted, only to have a candlestick flung at his head.

"No! I want to know what you two were doing!" Remus roared, eyes wide and watering even as his muscles bunched tight as he heaved up Snape's sitting chair, preparing to hurl that too.

"Remus Lupin!" Molly Weasley shrieked from the open doorway. "Put that down this instant!"

"Get out!" Sirius and Severus shouted at the same time. Molly blanched as Remus turned toward her, eyes aflame and spittle trailing his chin. Sirius brandished his wand and slammed the door shut before Remus could advance.

The wolf threw the chair to the side and stomped back toward the bed, tripping over a book and landing hard on his elbows. Infuriated, Remus' eyes landed on the case beneath the bed frame and he took hold of the violin case that lay there.

He hauled it with him as he stood and took it in both hands, prepared to crush it between his palms.

"Moony, put that down!" Sirius pointed his wand at his friend, the tip shaking badly.

Severus stared, eyes wide and struggled to get off of the bed and save the beloved instrument. Remus turned his face to Sirius and bared his teeth, pushing his palms slowly together. The violin creaked and let out a panicked plunk.

"Remus!" Severus cried out, reaching vainly. The werewolf's sneer fell from his face and he blinked his amber eyes toward Snape. "Please..." Severus moaned. "Please don't."

Remus froze, color bled back into his vision and he saw the ruins of Snape's room. He had done it, had gone on a rampage and destroyed Severus' things. He looked down at his hands, at the dented case of the violin, and quickly passed it over to Snape as though it burnt his palms.

Severus curled around his violin, hugging it to his chest and mumbling nonsensically. Remus stepped toward the man and stopped as Snape flinched.

"Sorry, father... sorry, father... please..." Snape mumbled in a litany, eyes blank and hands clenched, white-knuckled, on the case.

"Moony?" Sirius asked softly, tucking his wand into his pants pocket. The lycan turned slowly toward him and sank to his knees on the floor. "Remus!"

The wolf curled his arms around his waist and rocked pitifully until Sirius dropped to the floor beside him and held him tight.

"It's alright, Remy," Sirius murmured. "It's alright."

It wasn't. Remus shook his head roughly from side to side, cracking his skull against Sirius' chin. He bit his lip. "I am a monster," he bit out, daring to turn his eyes up to Snape.

The potions master still lay haphazard, clinging to his violin and withdrawn into his head.

"No," Sirius said sternly, shaking Remus as he spoke. "You are my friend, you are not a monster."

"Look at what I've done," Remus moaned, covering his face with his hands.

The door of the room burst open and Albus strode in with his wand out. The sight that met him made him quickly put it away and rush to Severus' bedside.

"Severus?" He said softly, touching the other man's hair.

"Father, please don't," Snape whimpered, cringing away.

Albus frowned and touched his wand tip to Snape's temple, "Dormis." Severus' went lax in sleep. The Headmaster tried to remove the violin from Snape's arms, but even in sleep the potions master clung for dear life.

He turned to the duo on the floor and sadness touched his face. "Remus, my boy..."

"I'm so sorry, Albus," Remus sobbed, wiggling out of Sirius' hold and clutching at Albus' robes.

"Come now," Albus pulled the young man off of the floor and hugged him tightly as the wolf cried silently into his beard. "You forget you are still ill yet. There has been no harm done that cannot be fixed with a bit of work."

He caught Sirius' eye and spoke quietly to him, "Take Remus to his room please. He could do with some sleep as well."

Sirius nodded and pried Lupin off of the Headmaster. "Come on, Moony," he held tight and walked his friend to his room.

Albus looked over Severus again and frowned deeply. He cleared away the broken glass and righted Severus' texts. The chair was pushed back where it should have been and the hole in the desk repaired.

After gently tucking the potions master back in, Albus returned downstairs to console Molly.

Sirius entered the kitchen, looking frazzled and a bit grey.

"Have some tea," Molly told him, pouring out a cup and setting it shakily in front of him.

"I don't know what happened," Sirius spoke slowly, still a bit shocked.

"Jealousy," Albus said gently, sipping his tea. "Granted, it was a bit over-done, but that is to be expected from Remus while he is sick."

"Jealous? Of what?!" Sirius spread his hands on the table, truly confused.

"You snuggled up there with Severus Snape I would imagine," Molly chuffed, rolling her eyes.

"I was not--" Sirius stopped abruptly and gaped for a second, then clacked his mouth shut. His head fell onto the table with a thud. Tonks and Molly shared a brief grin. "Jealous of who?" Sirius asked into the wood.

"I'm not sure," Albus shrugged. "I do not know if it was merely a reaction to the comfort Severus is receiving from you, or if he believes there is something more there. As for who he is jealous of? You would know better of Remus' tastes than I." A slight sparkle lit in Albus' eyes.

Sirius sighed deeply and rubbed at the bruise on his chin from Remus' impromptu head-butt. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong... or what I'm doing right, for that matter."

Albus patted his hand and smiled gently. "You're doing a fine enough job, Sirius. I promise you."

...oOo...

Remus could not sleep. Sirius had helped him with his shoes and robe and left him under a thin blanket, but he couldn't imagine napping. His head was spinning with what he had done. He knew, somewhere in the pit of his stomach, that if Snape hadn't snapped him free he might well have hurt them both.

He crept to his door, listening to the hall and carefully peeking when he heard nothing. Voices were speaking downstairs, but they were indistinct. Remus crossed the hall carefully and entered Severus' room.

The potions master was still sleeping. Remus could still see Sirius curled up protectively around Snape, the darker wizard tucked neatly beneath the animagus' chin. A spark of hurt replaced the rage of jealousy from earlier.

"Severus?" Remus whispered. He crouched down beside the bed, noticing that someone--most likely Albus--had cleaned the mess he had made. Snape didn't answer, but his brow furrowed a bit in his sleep.

Remus gently pushed the hair from Snape's face. "I'm sorry," Remus whispered, touching Severus' cheek with his fingertips.

" 'pin?" Snape mumbled, stirring slightly. One of his cramped hands released the case and came up to touch his face where Remus' fingers had been.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Remus said softly, sitting back on his heels.

Severus grunted, releasing the case entirely and flexing his frozen fingers. He looked down at it in confusion for a moment then turned his eyes to Remus. The wolf flinched and looked away. Severus watched him silently, remembering the tantrum in pieces. His room had already been put back to order.

"Put this away," he ordered with a wheeze, sliding the violin case toward Remus.

Eyes wide, Remus took it gently and carefully returned it to its spot under the bed. He couldn't quite believe Snape was allowing him near it again, much less touching it.

"I'm very sorry," Remus said again, eyes tight and tingling.

"Do shut up," Severus mumbled, snuggling into his blankets. He peeked open an eye to see that Lupin was on the verge of a breakdown. He sighed heavily. "Get up," he ordered. Remus did so, staring at his feet.

Severus pushed himself toward the middle of the mattress, only making a few inches before he grew too tired. "Lay here," he pointed to where he had been, struggling to stay awake another moment.

Remus looked confused and opened his mouth but Severus jabbed one slender finger into his blankets. "Hurry up."

The wolf lay gingerly on the very edge of the mattress, facing Snape with wide eyes. Severus could practically feel the panic roll off of him in waves. "Come here," Snape held up an arm, it shook with fatigue.

Lupin moved over, an inch away and stared down at Snape's chest as the potions master draped his arm across him.

"I don't know what came over me. I just saw the two of you..." Remus paused and swallowed hard.

"Yes, yes, I'm too irresistible. Now shut up, I'm exhausted." Snape grumbled.

Remus couldn't help a small smile even though he still felt like complete garbage. "But Severus--"

"Lupin," Severus sighed, "I don't care about it. If you don't want to lay here go away."

The wolf quieted, laying stiff and still as he watched Severus go back to sleep. He was sure Snape would have something more to say about his behavior when he was feeling better. Sirius would probably have a few stern words for him as well.

Melancholy wrapped around Remus like a blanket. He slouched into the bed and tried not to wallow in it.

" 'pin... " Severus startled him out of his thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Go to sleep."

"Yes, Severus."

...oOo...

Sirius took his own advice about a meal. He broiled a bit of chicken for he and Remus, saving a bit of thinly shaved red beef for Severus. Molly had been kind enough to run to the market for him before they left. He had to think of some way to repay the Weasley's, perhaps Remus would have an idea when he woke up later.

It was eerily silent in the house as the other two house guests slept. Sirius was suddenly thankful to Snape. Remus might already have died and the potions master would not have been bit. He would have to stay in the house all by himself and go insane in the solitude.

The timer over the oven buzzed. Sirius shook himself from his funk and swore as he pulled the chicken from the stove. Overcooked. He sighed heavily and shrugged. He was never a good cook, and the time spent in Azkaban with only the thought of cooking certainly didn't help his culinary arts.

He set up two trays, one with he and Remus' meals, and the other with Snape's dinner. They floated easily along behind him as he climbed the stairs. The steps creaked as he went, but it didn't matter. The only person he didn't want to wake was Snape, but he doubted a squeaky floor-board would disturb his fevered stupor.

Remus' room was empty. Sirius frowned and checked the bathroom just in case, but Remus was still missing.

"Where did he go?" Sirius grumbled, stepping back into the hallway. As he turned toward Snape's room he knew for certain he would find the wolf there. Just not as he expected.

Sirius paused as he pushed the door open. Remus was curled into a ball, face buried into Snape's shoulder. The potions master had an arm loosely draped across Remus' hip. Both of them were sleeping.

His stomach rolled painfully. Sirius sat down heavily into the armchair and watched the two of them snug together. He knew with clarity that this was what Remus had felt when he walked in earlier. It also managed to answer the question of just who Remus was jealous of. No wonder the wolf was so adamant about Snape's loyalty, or why he wanted Sirius to leave the potions master alone when he was sick.

With a deep breath and a sad smile, Sirius walked to the edge of the bed and touched Remus' shoulder. "Wake up, Moony. It's time to eat."

The werewolf chuffed in his sleep and rubbed his face against Snape's shoulder. He came to with a start, staring down at his sleeping partner and turned a brilliant shade of crimson.

"Oh..."

Sirius shrugged as Remus looked over his shoulder at him. The color on the wolf's face darkened as he realized he had an audience. "I, uh, heh," Remus wiggled off of the bed, trying to keep from waking Snape if possible.

"Dinner's ready," Sirius said softly once Remus had righted himself. "Here," he passed a plate to Remus and picked at his own.

"Sirius, I want you to know this isn't what it seems," Remus mumbled, scraping a bit of chicken off of his fork.

"It doesn't matter," Sirius smiled benignly, eyes vacant.

"Okay," Remus mumbled again, finding it very hard to look at Sirius' face. It was no wonder an aura of hurt and confusion came off of his friend. He had nearly torn them both in pieces for what he himself had just done.

Severus shifted on the bed, curling in on himself and shivering as though he realized he was missing the extra body heat. Sirius stood and shook out a blanket across the man's lean form. He felt a rearing of the old ugly hate as he looked down on the man's sallow face. He quelled it by closing his eyes and breathing slowly. Snape wasn't the same exact man he knew, and being jealous of Snape and Remus wasn't going to help either man get better.

"'pin?" Snape whispered, rolling his head painfully on his shoulders. His fogged eyes recognized Sirius. He blinked and crumpled back into the bedding.

"He's right here, Snape," Sirius said a bit more stiffly than he wanted. "Do you want to speak to him?"

"No," Severus croaked, running his hands over his face. "You do."

Sirius straightened, eyes flicking to the journal still sitting on the dresser by the door. Remus was gazing at him through his swaying fringe, having overheard the sparse conversation and wondering what Severus had meant.

"I'll do that," Sirius mumbled.

"Now," Snape said while mustering up enough energy for a low-watt glare.

"Fine," Sirius prickled a little. "After you eat." He retrieved the small dish and watched Severus grimace. He offered an arm, but Snape slapped him away and managed to lay exhausted against the headboard.

Sirius speared a bit of the bloody meat and held it up for Snape to see. Remus paled across the room and started to rise from his seat to stop them. "Sit down, Moony," Sirius huffed, "I know what I'm doing."

"Sirius--" Remus strode to the bed, taking hold of one side of the plate. Sirius jerked on it; Remus jerked back.

The two Gryffindors glared at each other and as one began to bicker while Snape sat watching in mild, sleepy amusement.

"He shouldn't eat this garbage!"

"How do you know? It says it's good for him!"

"Since when do you do anything a book says?"

Snape watched the plate get yanked back and forth, the bloody beef slipping further and further to the edge until it was threatening to spill on his fresh linens. Ignoring the two snarling mutts, he stretched out a hand and pinched a sizeable piece from the plate. Immediately the two bickering stopped to watch.

Curling his nose, Snape watched the blood drip from the edges and run down his fingers. He dropped the slice into his open mouth and chewed slowly. Remus looked ready to vomit; Sirius didn't look much better.

After a moment of chewing, Severus swallowed and even licked the trails of blood from his fingers.

"Severus, how can you--" Remus gaped, staring into the plate.

"Try some Lupin," Severus smirked as he took another bit. The wolf looked ready to faint. "Honestly, have you never eaten steak tar tar? It won't hurt you."

"No thank you," Remus backed away, sitting down heavily in his chair and couldn't watch while Snape finished his little meal.

Sirius had to help Snape before he was done. The potions master didn't look much better for the odd choice of food, but he did seem thankful for it. The animagus touched Snape's forehead before tugging his blanket straight.

Snape was nearly asleep before Sirius put his empty plate back on the tray.

"Black," he mumbled, "speak to Lupin."

Sirius nodded, taking up the tray and Snape's journal. "Go to sleep." Remus smiled slightly and pointed toward the bed, Snape already was. The lycan took up his dishes and followed Sirius out of Snape's room.

"What does Severus want you to talk to me about?" Remus followed Sirius down the stairs, depositing their barely touched plates into the sink.

"Everything," Sirius gave him a tight smile. Remus was confused. "He wants me to continue helping you while he's sick." The animagus sat down at the table, propping his feet up on the edge and levitating a bottle of scotch from the cabinet.

Shoulders tense, Remus took down two glasses and sat down beside his friend. "What does that mean exactly?"

Sirius poured them both a healthy shot of alcohol. "I need you to talk."

"Alright," Remus smiled and took a sip from his glass. "Where should I start?"

"When you were bitten?" Sirius looked anguished as Lupin stared at him. "Your first change then? Something about your wolf."

"My wolf?" Remus frowned and stared down in his glass before draining the rest of it. He wheezed and pounded his chest before refilling it and rubbing his eyes. "Why that?"

"Snape told me it was part of your acceptance."

"Speaking about it makes it real..." Remus shook his head and snorted. "I... I'll try, but I don't know what to say."

"Just... talk." Sirius tried a supportive smile that twitched ineffectively on his face. "A stream of consciousness. Babble even."

"Alright," Remus nodded, eyes growing steadily vacant as he thought. Time stretched thin and dangerous. Sirius watched Remus shut down in steps, eyes half-lidded, mouth tightening, pale and gasping through little puffs.

"Remy?" Sirius frowned, feeling a mild panic begin to rise. Remus looked vaguely as he did before the change took him.

"She used to weep at the cellar door," Remus whispered as though through his fog of memory.

"Who?" The animagus shifted forward, idly opening Snape's journal and speaking as soft and docile as Remus looked.

"My mother." A wistful smile curled the wolf's lips. "After my first turn my father built a cage of iron in the cellar between the canned beets and smoked hare. She would sit on the outside all night and weep quietly. I went there every full moon for nearly three years. Until Albus took me."

"What do you mean he took you?" Sirius paused in his sloppy scrawl to satiate his own curiosity.

"Mother begged him to help. They weren't very wealthy and I destroyed most of their belongings at one point or another. She actually sobbed in relief when I left for Hogwart's." Pain laced Remus' features. "I loved her dearly."

"What happened to her?" The animagus rested a comforting hand on Remus' forearm, the lycan didn't seem to notice.

"Died peacefully in her sleep. She was very sick for many years. I think my being bitten took too much toll." Lupin lifted a hand to his face, wiping at his eyes and clearing his throat lightly.

All talk ceased and Sirius was torn between leaving Lupin be and helping him forget his problems, and his promise to Severus. It hurt his heart to put Remus through that much pain, let alone to turn the knife.

"What about your father, Moony? What happened with him?"

Remus snorted so perfectly like Snape that Sirius actually looked over his shoulder to see if the dark wizard was behind him. "He was a good man. He did what he could for me. I think he feared what I had become more than even I did." Lupin raised his glass shakily to his lips and sipped.

"Once," Lupin laughed mirthlessly, "He tried to purge the beast from me."

"Merlin," Sirius breathed. He dropped the quill and sat in the seat next to Lupin. He could write this down later. "How did--" he swallowed hard, "What did he do?"

"Oh nothing much," Remus stiffened as Sirius wound his arm across his shoulders. "He bound me to my bed for three days, feeding me gruel and water, stoking the fire so hot the paint began to peel from the walls. 'Sweat it out' he told me. As if it were a chest cold."

"That's not so bad, eh?" Sirius pulled Remus to him, hugging him with his one-armed hold.

"No, I suppose that bit wasn't." Remus shivered, running a palm across his throat and turned suddenly into Sirius' hold. He buried his face into Sirius' shoulder and clutched at his friend so roughly Sirius was sure he would have finger-shaped bruises all across his ribs come morning.

"It's alright, Moony," Black wrapped his other arm around the wolf and rocked him gently. "It's only memories, eh? Already done and gone."

"Oh Pads," Lupin sighed into Sirius' neck and swallowed a wet hiccough. "When starving me didn't work, he collared me with a silver chain and crucifix. It burnt so deep I never thought it would stop hurting."

Sirius stiffened and pulled back, eyes wide in shock to stare down in horror at Remus. "No." He said sternly, as though Remus had lied to him, or perhaps to stop the pain before it happened. Remus looked hurt and on the verge of meltdown. "Where?"

Shaking hands undid the first four buttons of his shirt, Remus pulled the collar aside and ran his fingertips around his neck. "Here," he whispered, then trailed his fingers down toward his left collarbone where they stopped and touched a very smooth patch of skin. "And here."

Sirius turned the chair into the light and stared hard where Remus had shown. On his neck ran a fine, fish-belly white scar barely visible but for the smooth texture. And again, just to the right of where the horrible crescent scar lay thick was the faint trace of a cross. This burn too was pale and faint, hardly noticeable and if Remus had never told him, he would never have noticed it.

"It's very light," Sirius murmured, raising a hand to touch the scars and flickered his gaze up to make sure Remus didn't mind. The wolf's eyes were closed but he seemed to be keeping his sanity.

As his fingertip touched the dull cross, Remus stopped him by grasping him lightly by the wrist.

"I'm so sorry, Moony," Black whispered, though whether he meant for his touch or for the horror of his past he wasn't sure himself.

Remus' eyes opened slowly, still bright as spring honey and full as a wolf's. "I never wanted something to heal so much in my life." Lupin's throat was thick with emotion, and he had yet to release Sirius' hand. "It wasn't the scar so much. But what kind of demon am I that a holy cross burns my skin? Only evil can claim that. Only pure evil."

"You aren't evil," Sirius said sternly. "You're the most kind and gentle person I know. If you are some unnatural thing, you're an angel, Remus."

"Angels are beautiful, Siri, and innocent and pure." Remus' voice was flat, apparently unimpressed with Sirius' choice of words.

"And you are," Sirius told him. He shook his hand free from Lupin's hold and wrapped the wolf in another tight hug. "You are." Remus trembled in his hold and Sirius cursed Fenrir Greyback with so much hate and conviction that he was sure the demon-man must have felt it. "That's enough for tonight, hmm? Let's just... drink."

"No thank you, Padfoot," Remus sniffed, leaning out of Sirius' hold and getting achingly to his feet. "I think I'll just go to bed early."

Sirius bit his lip and followed Remus to the base of the stairs. "Do you need anything, Moony?"

"No," Remus shook his head, clutching at the stairs' handrail. He paused when he was nearly to the top and looked back over his shoulder. Sirius was still there at the bottom, looking dejectedly up at his friend. "Would you..."

"What?" Sirius smiled gently, coming up four stairs. "Would I...?"

Remus took a deep breath and held it for a moment, eyeing Sirius carefully. "Would you lay with me a while?"

Stunned, Sirius blinked stupidly up at Remus' pink face. "Sure, Moony, of course."

He followed Remus up the stairs and stood in the doorway watching the wolf strip out of his robe and kick off his shoes. Even though he and Lupin had shared a bed on numerous occasions, it was never when they were so vulnerable, or asked for the other to stay, even. It usually just happened.

Shaking himself from his reverie, Sirius kicked off his own shoes and shrugged out of his jumper. Remus sat on the edge of the bed, hunched over and holding his head in his hands. Sirius slid easily across the linen and tipped the wolf backward with a hand on his shoulder.

Remus sighed heavily, the breath full of emotion, and rolled into Sirius' arms. He clutched at the animagus' tee-shirt and buried his face in Sirius' shoulder. Sirius held him tight, nervous beyond belief.

Remus fell asleep slowly, curled hard into Sirius' body and his grip never loosened, not even in sleep. Sirius ran his hands across Remus back and stroked his greying hair. The night fell thick and he still lay awake, staring over Remus' head at the warped bedside table with only one thought causing an achy wrench in his heart.

He loved Remus at this moment more than he ever had before.


	16. Unsettled

A/N: It's a bit of a fluke how this chapter starts… being the Christmas season and all… Just thought I'd point that out. It certainly wasn't planned. XD Thanks to everyone for reading, and to everyone who's reviewed!

Enjoy.

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The Christmas season was supposed to be a jovial time for young children with snow falling thick and happy; the promise of presents from Father Christmas and time for friends and family. Oh, how Severus dreaded it like no other.

He sat in a tight ball in his shut closet. Knot holes in the warped wood had fallen loose and let spots of dim, dusty light in. He hugged his knees to his chest and wished with all of his power that the days would pass and he could return to Hogwart's and forget the season even existed.

Heavy, drunken footsteps stumbled past his doorway.

"Boy! It's time for you to get an early present!" His father bellowed down the hallway, no doubt already peering into the room and seeing no one. A sick laugh erupted from his father's chest and Severus shivered. Present indeed.

"Eileen!" He spat. Severus tensed as he heard his father's feet stumble down the hall.

The muffled sound of his mother's voice came from rooms away and he could picture her standing stiff and tense as his father stumbled in. A glass shattered and a chair toppled. Severus clenched his eyes shut and willed his father to pass out early. Maybe then it would be a good Christmas after all.

"Let go of me!" Eileen shrieked, sounding more angry than frightened. His father's evil cackle carried and another piece of furniture screeched across the floors. A harsh clack of flesh on flesh made Severus rise from his seat and press himself back against the wall. He wished he were stronger, braver...

"Where's Severus?" His father's voice purred, and Severus could hear him dragging his mother down the hall toward his room. "Hiding your evil spawn? It will do no good. You may as well tell me where he is now, I have a present for him."

"You leave him be!" Eileen hissed and the air in Severus' room began to crackle as his father dragged his mother behind him into his small room. He pressed his face to the wall, eye to a knothole and watched in narrowed pieces as his father's grip tightened in his mother's hair.

"But it's such a lovely present," his father hissed.

Eileen closed her eyes and a wall of magic built between Severus and the room. He panicked and grasped the handle, trying to pull the door open but his mother had shut him safely away.

A dark scowl twisted his father's face. "Witch, stop using your dark magic! You know how I hate your devil worshipping!"

"Never mind, Tobias," Eileen pleaded. "He's just a boy, he's done nothing to you."

"He's a demon like you!" Tobias screeched. He threw Eileen onto Severus' bed and ripped the back of her bodice open, tearing at her stockings and pinning her to the bed with his weight.

"Please don't," Eileen sobbed, eyes staring at the closet door where she knew Severus stood watching.

"It's no better than filth like you deserve," Tobias snarled, spit trailing his chin. Severus screamed at the same time as his mother; his father violating her in a way no woman ever deserved.

His father threw her to the floor when he had finished, tucking his genitals away and spitting on her tear streaked face.

Severus watched her gather her clothing together and limp from the room with a straight spine and as much dignity as she had left.

Tobias' bulk blocked his view from the knot hole and he pounded hard on the closet door. "Happy Christmas, heathen!" His father cackled. "I hope I can find another suitable present for your birthday!"

oOo

Severus woke with a jerk, sobbing and sweating. He scrubbed at his face with shaking hands, his stomach rolling violently. He struggled to his feet and limped into the bathroom, bending hard over the toilet and retched until he felt he would heave up his stomach.

The vision of his father's hate didn't fade as time passed and Snape struggled to his feet, sniffling and hiccoughing. He expected to be overtaken by Black or Lupin at any moment, bombarded with sympathy and gentle questions.

After five minutes neither of them showed and a hollowness in Severus' chest ached nearly as badly as his night-terrors did. It shocked him to realize he wanted them there hovering. He surprised himself again as he pulled open the door and shuffled painfully across the hall to Lupin's room.

His hand shook violently on the doorknob and he struggled to calm his breathing and talk sense into himself. He didn't know what he was doing, he should return to his room and go back to bed.

The door swung open easily and Severus shuffled in, leaning heavily against the dresser. Another sob built in his chest and he tried his best to stop it. Remus and Sirius were curled together on the bed, sleeping peacefully.

"Lupin," Severus hiccoughed, feeling his knees wobble dangerously as he neared collapse. The wolf on the bed stirred a bit, sighing and resettling in Sirius' arms. "Please," Snape pleaded, sinking toward the floor as his legs let go.

Remus blinked sleepy eyes, a face full of Sirius' long hair in his view. Slowly, the sound of weeping permeated his fogged brain and he sat up with a jerk. Sirius grunted as Lupin's elbow buried in his ribs and he too sat up, although slower.

Severus was curled onto himself on the floor at the foot of the bed. He was hugging his knees to his chest and sobbing so pitifully that Remus' heart nearly lept from his mouth.

"Severus?" He clawed his way off of the bed, leaving Sirius to catch up. Lupin fell to his knees beside Snape and reached out a careful hand, unsure if the potions master would lash out.

Snape's face turned up from his knees, eyes bloodshot and puffy—though no tears stained his cheeks. "I can't-- He, he hurt her--" The man babbled, eyes imploring Lupin to help the memory stop.

Remus saw Sirius slump to the floor on Snape's opposite side and watch as Severus turned to him too.

"How could he-- she didn't deserve--" Severus stuttered, unable to finish a thought and Sirius' face softened.

"Was it a nightmare, Severus?" Remus asked softly, laying a gentle hand on the man's arm. Snape shook his head violently, hair flying about his face.

"Was it another memory?" Sirius asked very carefully, eyes meeting Remus'.

"Yes," Severus hissed, curling forward to his hands and knees and dry heaving.

"Sweet Merlin," Remus gasped, idly patting Severus' back as the man struggled to calm down. He caught Sirius' eye and shrugged helplessly.

"Come on," Sirius said sternly, wrapping a strong arm across Snape's back. He helped the man up and shuffled them both slowly toward Lupin's bed. "Easy now, it's all passed. You're with Remy and I now, he can't hurt you here."

'Who?' Remus mouthed over Snape's shoulder. Sirius shrugged, just as clueless, and helped Snape lay down on the bed.

"I hate him," Severus moaned pitifully, clutching at Sirius' rumpled tee-shirt.

"I know," Sirius mumbled, motioning for Remus to lie down as well.

The wolf slid carefully across the bed, curling a tentative arm around Snape's waist. The potions master didn't panic or push him away so he stayed, making soft shushing noises as the man continued to hyperventilate.

"Hate him," Snape repeated vehemently, nearly curling off of the bed.

Sirius carefully smoothed the blanket out, sliding underneath and lying on Snape's opposite side. He shared a meaningful look with Remus and sidled up to Snape. "Who?"

"Tobias," Severus hissed, hate curling his face so violently that Remus winced.

"He can't hurt you here," Sirius murmured a reaffirmation, awkwardly patting Snape's shoulder..

"No, he can't," Snape admitted, eyes drifting shut as he calmed down considerably, sandwiched as he was between the Gryffindors.

"That's right," Remus murmured, breathing a sigh of relief as Snape relaxed and began to drift. The potions master was still cooking with fever, but it was apparent that his night terrors were just beginning.

"No," Severus sighed gently, a last hiccough passing through his lips. "Can't anymore." The man was still speaking brokenly, but Sirius and Remus were both eased as Snape drifted further to sleep; at least until Severus murmured a final time before fatigue took him. "Killed him."

Remus' eyes widened and Sirius stiffened. He sat up a bit to look down at Remus in shock.

"Killed him?" Remus whispered.

Sirius frowned deeply and tried to ignore it. He had always had the feeling that Snape had murdered someone, probably more than one someone, especially since he was marked a Death Eater. It had to be inevitable. The fact slapped him in the face but he had a hard time trying to feel real anger or disgust. After the panic attack and meltdown Snape just suffered, this 'Tobias' had probably deserved it.

"We'll ask later," Sirius said mildly, gaze flickering at Snape and then back to Remus. He gingerly touched the wolf's cheek and smirked at the heat he felt creep into it. "Go back to sleep, Remy."

"Night, Padfoot," Remus whispered.

Though they were both exhausted, and Remus was finally in a bed with both men he wanted, neither could sleep.

...oOo...

In the early morning hours, Sirius motioned for Remus to remain and dragged himself off to his room. He showered slowly and dressed.

Severus was still sleeping, fitfully it seemed as Remus held him down and the potions master growled deeply.

"Will you be alright while I make breakfast?" Sirius shook his damp hair from his shoulders.

"Sure," Remus tightened his hold on Severus as the man kicked. He was never more thankful for his lycan strength as Snape struggled like a man drowning.

"I'll be back up soon," Sirius promised. He turned into the hall and stumbled down the stairs into the kitchen.

He was just burning the toast when Molly and Tonks came through the door. Sirius smiled wide and let out a relieved sigh.

"Good Lord, Sirius, what are you trying to do?" Molly waved the smoke away and tsked as she scraped his meal into the trash. She quickly set the pots to clean and shooed Sirius away from the stove.

Sirius was only too thankful to sit down and watch the woman work. Molly hummed softly as she tied on her apron.

"You look exhausted," Tonks told him, tripping over the chair leg and landing hard into it. She huffed and rolled her eyes at her clumsiness.

"I am," Sirius rubbed at the dark circles under his eyes and actually kissed Molly's hand when she set a mug of coffee in front of him. "You are a goddess!"

Molly tittered and swatted at him, even though she smiled wide and blushed.

"Snape's started in the nightmare part of his change." Sirius took a long drink of coffee and turned his eyes to heaven in gratitude for the caffeine.

"Poor thing," Molly tutted, stirring a pot and shuffling some dishes about. "Are they very bad?"

"Oh, yes." Sirius nodded firmly. "But they haven't all been nightmares. Some of them are memories," Sirius frowned and turned about in his chair. "Molly?"

"Yes, dear?" She hummed and began to dish out food on the plates.

"Did you know a man named Tobias?"

The Weasley Matriarch ceased moving, the spatula in her hand clattering loudly onto the counter. She turned slowly and gave Sirius a panicked look. "Why do you ask?"

Sirius frowned thoughtfully, "Snape mentioned him." He failed to point out that Snape also mentioned that he had killed him.

"Oh, that poor, poor dear." Molly cleared her throat and quickly went back about the breakfast dishes. She spooned out the helpings and set a plate before Sirius. "Now you eat that all up, and I'll be right back."

Sirius watched her gather her tray with Snape and Remus' plates and cups of coffee before shuffling upstairs. "He's in Remy's room!" He called after her.

He frowned over his plate at Tonks. "She didn't answer my question."

The metamorphagus grinned and shrugged. "She's good at things like that."

Sirius snorted and began to eat, barking and slapping at Tonks' hand as she snatched a piece of bacon. "Get your own!" He fake snarled, mood lightened already from Tonks' playful antics.

"But Molly's is always better," Nymphadora whined, savoring the bacon and actually helping herself to Sirius' coffee.

"You're a right pain, you know that?" Sirius pouted, spearing a bit of hash.

"I know," Tonks winked and took another sip.

Upstairs, Molly knocked lightly on the bedroom door and pushed it open. Remus was sitting up by the bed, a book open on his lap. He smiled brightly.

"Molly!" He rose and set his book aside to help her with the tray.

"You look much better than Sirius," She told him with a smile. Remus took a deep breath of the yummy smells and blushed a bit as his stomach growled loudly.

"Well this smells much better than Sirius' cooking," Remus laughed and then looked mildly horrified. "Don't tell him I said that."

"Of course not," Molly laughed too and gathered up Snape's smaller dish.

"I'm afraid I must," a rough voice croaked from behind them. Remus turned in surprise to see Snape waking slowly. A weak smirk was on the man's face.

"Of course you must," Remus rolled his eyes. Inside, however, he was jumping with glee that Severus felt well enough to make a joke.

"Here you are dear," Molly smiled gently and struggled to help Severus sit up. Remus offered his arm and together they got Severus propped up. "A nice breakfast will do you good."

Snape looked over the plate and took up a piece of bacon in his fingers. He ate it in small bites, sighing in rapture as he did. "Devine as usual," he praised Molly.

"Thank you, Severus," Molly beamed.

The woman looked discomfited as Severus only ate the meat from his plate and passed the rest to Lupin.

"That's the most I've seen you eat in days," Remus praised him, trying to mollify Mrs. Weasley. Remus ate his meal and reclined, stuffed to the gills, against the headboard next to Snape.

Severus grunted, eyes drifting shut. Molly excused herself with a little wave and her pile of dishes.

"I apologize," Severus spoke quietly.

"Whatever for?" Remus frowned, sipping his coffee.

"Intruding during the night."

"Severus, don't be sorry," the wolf patted his hand. "You're ill and don't need an excuse for wanting some comfort." Remus swallowed difficultly, "We're here to give it to you when you need it."

Snape regarded him through half-lidded, sleepy eyes. He sighed softly, "I'm sorry you never had it."

"Yes, well," Lupin shrugged uncomfortably. "That's in the past."

"But it still stings," Severus finished his thought. The potions master smirked briefly when Remus looked over at him. "Has Black spoken with you?"

"Yes." Remus suddenly found his coffee very interesting.

"It was difficult, but necessary." Snape tentatively held out a hand to Lupin. Remus looked at it, then to Severus' face. The lycan sighed heavily and bypassed it to sit further over, leaning lightly onto Snape's shoulder. The darker wizard pressed his head down onto his boney shoulder and stroked Remus' shaggy hair. Remus was vaguely surprised--so was Severus.

"What did you speak about?" Severus mumbled, obviously exhausted.

Remus frowned, "My parents."

"What about them?"

"My mother being sick," Lupin whispered, unconsciously shifting closer. "She had a blood disease. It was treatable, but we didn't have the money for the potions."

"She died."

"Yes." Remus sighed unhappily, staring at the far wall without quite seeing it. "It crushed my father. He loved her."

Severus paused in stroking his hair and shifted so that he could see a bit of Remus' reactions. "Did you speak of your father?"

"Some," Remus cleared his throat. "He... he was not supportive of my disease."

Severus snorted. "That is an understatement."

Lupin laughed harshly and nodded. "Oh, yes. He was loving, but I think he was too afraid of me to be a good father."

"Is that where this came from?" Severus paused to touch his first two fingers to the thin scar that ran around Lupin's neck. Remus stiffened and drew back, staring at Snape with wide eyes that steadily grew damp.

"How did you know?"

"I can see, obviously." Severus cocked an eyebrow. Remus touched the length himself and stared at Severus with muted awe.

"Sirius has never seen it; until last night." The wolf tugged his shirt collar a bit higher and blushed at the cross look Severus shot him. "How can you see it when Sirius never has?"

"I've had a keen eye for them since I was a child," Snape told him stiffly. Remus remembered the criss-crossing of scars on the man's back and scowled deeply.

"Severus..."

Snape waited patiently with a calm face. "Hmm?"

"Who is Tobias?"

Severus jerked tight and Remus felt himself tense in response. The potions master glared and nearly shoved Lupin away from himself. Remus sat back for Snape's comfort as well as his own.

"Where did you hear that name?"

"From you last night," Lupin said calmly, willing Snape to answer without blowing up.

A flash of remembrance crossed Severus' face and a flush of anger crept up his neck. "His complete name is Tobias Augustus Snape."

"Oh," Remus breathed. His heart stopped beating for a full thirty seconds. "Your--"

"Father? Only in the broadest sense of the word." Severus sneered and the mirror that hung over Remus' dresser shattered with a sudden crack.

"Severus, I'm sorry--"

The potions master held up a hand to stop him. "Please don't."

"Right." Remus stood from the bed and tried to help Snape ease back into the mattress but the man jerked out of his touch. "Go back to sleep. I'll clear this away."

Snape didn't answer, but turned onto his side and curled tightly into himself.

Remus stood staring down at the glass shards and frowned deeply. A soft knock came from the door and Sirius pushed it open.

"What happened in here?" He gaped, trying to keep his voice quiet when he noticed Snape with his eyes closed.

"In a moment," Remus promised. He untucked his wand and pointed it at the mess on the floor. "Reparo," he murmured, watching the bits fly back together and reassemble into the framework.

He motioned for Sirius to follow and shut the door gently behind them.

Sirius followed Remus to the kitchen, eyebrows furrowed and losing his patience. Molly was at the sink scrubbing dishes and Tonks was savoring her own cup of coffee. Molly poured a fresh cup and sat it on the table in front of Remus. The wolf pushed it away and stalked to the cabinet.

"Moony?"

Remus opened a bottle of scotch and took a long pull from the neck before spinning the cap back on and returning it to the shelf. He collapsed into the chair beside Sirius and shoved his hair from his face. Sirius was looking very concerned down at him. "It was his father." Remus felt a bubble of mirth in his stomach start up his throat. It erupted from him sounding manic.

A glass slipped from Molly's nerveless fingers and shattered on the floor. She pressed a hand to her open mouth and looked torn between saying something and keeping her secret.

"He killed his father," Remus repeated to Sirius' shocked face. Another peal of laughter scraped past his teeth. The giggle faded into a sob and Remus set his face into his hands. "Jesus, Sirius, he killed his own father."

"Remus, it isn't what it seems," Molly came forward, crunching glass beneath her soles. Her face was pinched and red as she sat down to Remus' right.

"Of course it is!" Remus hissed, trying to keep his voice down.

"Oh, sweetheart, no it isn't!" Molly tried to take one of Lupin's hands but the man jerked it away.

"Don't lie, Molly! How sick and demented--"

"Remus, please!" Molly interrupted, her eyes kept flickering toward the stairway, as if imagining Snape would come down them any moment and hear them.

"Was Tobias?!" Remus felt a growl in his throat and knew it had escaped when Tonks stopped swirling her coffee and Molly pushed back a foot in the chair.

"I can't say," she squeaked. Remus turned dark, glowing eyes to her and she stuck out her chin.

"I'm sorry, Remus. You need to speak to Severus."

"Did he kill Severus' mother?" Remus muttered, gaze sharp and piercing.

Molly bit her lips and stood up, busying herself with the broken glass and remaining dishes.

"Molly..."

"Remus I can't tell you," She snapped. The wolf stopped short from following her. Molly rarely raised her voice, much less snarling.

"Fine," Remus' voice was low and deep. Sirius tried to stop Remus as the wolf stormed past him but Lupin didn't even slow and rammed past him. Sirius stumbled to the side, glaring and gripping his throbbing shoulder.

Lupin drove his fist into the wall, drywall and plaster crumbling to dust. Mrs. Black's portrait began

to shriek. Remus turned viciously toward her, "Enough!" he boomed; the silence rang loudly in everyone's ears.

Sirius stared between Tonks and Molly, both women were pale and ashy. He didn't doubt if he looked the same.

A door somewhere in the untouched third floor slammed shut with a crack that shook the whole house down to its foundations.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Sirius murmured, fingers twisting into the knotted muscle of his shoulder. He winced, knowing that it would bruise before the day was done.

"It's alright, Sirius," Molly told him with stern conviction. "Remus is still sick and I was much the same when I found out about poor Severus."

"Why does everyone know about Snape except me?" Sirius grumbled, resigning himself to leave Remus alone to calm down. He returned to the table, sipping his coffee and continued to idly rub his shoulder.

"Probably because of your history," Tonks shrugged, speaking in a 'duh' tone as though Sirius were a bit slow on the uptake. He couldn't argue with her logic, so he sulked a bit and ate a cookie.

"Severus will no doubt have to tell the whole story," Molly sighed unhappily and wiped her hands on the dish towel. "I'm sure you'll know it soon enough."

"Severus!" Tonks gasped, choking on her coffee and sputtering.

"That is who we've been talking about," Sirius grinned, turning toward the girl. He came to his feet and rushed the doorway when he saw that Snape was actually leaning against the door jam.

"What the hell are you doing out of bed?" Sirius huffed, hauling Severus into the kitchen.

Molly immediately began to fuss and drew a chair for them, transfiguring a napkin into a pillow for Severus to sit on.

Snape didn't answer right away, instead reclined in his seat and struggled to calm his breathing. Sweat poured down the man's face.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Sirius asked him very quietly, leaning into his space and hoping the two women weren't actively eavesdropping.

"No," Severus croaked, slumping in his chair. He raised his eyes to see Tonks gaping at him. "Nymphadora, is there something particular piquing your curiosity?"

The metamorphagus shook her head meekly and turned her eyes down to the table. Snape snorted as he saw her.

"Where is Lupin?"

"Sulking upstairs I imagine," Sirius told him with a grin.

"He's angry with me."

"No," Sirius shook his head, "not with you." Snape shook his head lightly and closed his eyes.

"How about I help you back upstairs, eh?"

"No," Snape cleared his throat. "I'd prefer to sit a moment. I have been in bed for days you realize."

"It's because you're sick you idiot," Sirius grumped.

Molly watched the two of them with a curious little smile. "Could I get you anything, Severus?"

"No, thank you." Severus wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. "I will stop at the restroom." He stood shakily, needing to push himself up with his hands. Sirius stood with him, holding his arms out to catch the potions master if he collapsed.

Snape scowled at him and swatted him feebly away. He shuffled back out to the hallways and the remaining people in the kitchen heard the bathroom door shut gently.

"He's looking for Remus," Sirius sighed heavily and shook his head. "They'll have a hash out indeed."

"Give Remus time to relax first, Sirius," Molly gently laid a hand on his shoulder. "There will be plenty of time for sharing secrets once Severus has gone through the first... moon phase, shall we call it?"

"True," Sirius smiled weakly at her.

"Black," Severus croaked from the hall, they could just see the man's wavering shadow.

Sirius excused himself and found Snape leaning against the wall. The potions master sneered at him, "Don't tell me, I know well enough I shouldn't have come down."

Smirking, Sirius didn't mention it. He slung one of Severus' arms across his shoulders, curling his own tightly around Snape's middle. They took the stairs slowly and Sirius made them stop halfway when Snape's rasping breath made him worry.

"Remus is angry, as you know," he puffed out. Severus glanced toward him and grunted. "I think if your father wasn't already dead, he would hunt him down."

Severus stiffened and Sirius stumbled trying to go up another step and nearly dragged them both down. "He has no reason," Severus panted, glaring hard at the threadbare carpet beneath their feet.

Sirius tugged gently and got them moving again. "He doesn't need one." He beamed at Snape's scowl. "The joy of having Remus on your side, is that he'd do anything for you. Welcome to the club."

Severus snorted, though Sirius liked to think the man was taking what he said seriously.

They finally reached the top of the stairs and Sirius paused in the middle of the hall. "Where do you want to go?"

"What?" Snape gasped for breath, slowly sagging harder against the animagus.

"Well, you have your rooms of course, and Remus wouldn't mind you staying there again." Sirius tipped his head to the side to think and a lock of Snape's hair brushed his face. "You're welcome to crash in my room if you'd like. For the change of scenery of course."

Severus did his best to gape and glare at the same time. "I'm not partial to fleas," he finally panted.

"Remy's room it is," Sirius beamed and steered them that direction.

"Black," Severus interrupted their silence as the animagus struggled to get them both through the narrow entry.

"Hmm?"

"You need to contact Albus," The darker wizard mumbled.

"Oh?" Sirius grunted as he lowered Snape to the bed and sighed in relief as the extra weight was gone. With Snape's feverish body gone, he felt gooseflesh ripple where the heat had been.

"Yes," Severus struggled out of his robe and lay down painfully. "He has less than two days to find a brew master to create two doses of Wolfsbane."

Sirius paused in his mindless shuffling to pay extra attention. "Two doses?"

"I'm unsure whether I will need it," Severus rolled onto his side and pulled the blankets across himself. "However, I have an antidote to its poisonous state made should it prove unnecessary."

"That was the first set of potions," Sirius said to himself.

"Yes," Snape admitted. Sirius picked up Severus' discarded robe and shuffled the curtains over the window to block a bit of the light. "Black," Snape mumbled before the man could leave.

"Yea?"

"Tell Lupin not to worry about Tobias," Severus caught and held Sirius' gaze. "He died more than two decade's ago."

"Right," Sirius muttered. "I'll tell him. Get some rest, alright?"

Snape didn't bother answering, instead drove his head beneath the pillow and yawned widely.

Sirius returned downstairs to see that Molly had cleaned the kitchen and premixed a stew for lunch. A note told him to start to warm it properly by noon and it would be ready by one. He smiled at her note and left it in case he didn't see Remy before it was time to cook.

He stared at the ceiling, idly wondering what Remus was doing and hoping that he would be back among the land of the living before nightfall.


	17. Less Like Romance

It was musty and dank in the upper floors. Remus fumed and thumped from one room to the next, disturbing the dust and leaving socken-feet footprints through the halls. The dust itself didn't seem to mind, flittering as it was and refilling the gaps without a care.

The upper floors had been Sirius' parents' domain. It was apparent by the antiques and classical tastes. No parent in their right mind would put priceless antique furniture in the rooms of teenaged wizards and expect it to survive for the next generation.

Wolf eyes keeping the darkness sharp, Remus stalked around the hall, idly turning over books and papers without much thought. Slowly, his anger at Severus' father abated. He knew that he was unaware of most of Snape's pain from his father, but that didn't stop him from hating a man he never knew.

No doubt Severus' upbringing and hellish times at school had created the bitter, sardonic wizard he knew at the present.

A scowling picture of Sirius' whole family was hung neatly on the wall. Mrs. Black and Mr. Black were standing stiffly next to each other, glaring out of the picture at him. Regulus stood smirking smartly beside his mother, his eyes kept trailing across to the torn section of the photo where Sirius had once been. Remus took it up in his hands and scowled at the trio. He cracked the frame between his palms and watched in sick glee as the 'happy family' shrieked silently before he set it on fire.

Broken glass prickled at his palms, cutting through the calluses and making scratches in his skin. It was nothing he wouldn't heal from in a matter of hours, ill or not.

Feeling marginally better, he decided to roam through the rest of the upstairs and destroy random items of the Black family that he knew Sirius would not want.

...oOo...

Sirius took to sitting in his rooms doing what he hadn't done since his years at Hogwarts. He was studying.

He checked on Severus regularly, the wizard had fallen into a restless sleep shortly after being put back into bed. Now and then a smash rang from the floor above him, or the sound of something heavy and solid slamming into a wall. Twice he stood wanting to storm up the stairs and shake Remus, but he refrained when he saw it was not bothering Snape. Whatever the wolf was doing must be partially cathartic.

The book he was thumbing through was part of Snape's collection. A rather wordy, if not informative, volume from Russia. The names of the people gave it away. Natasha, Renati, Mikhail; a family of lycans. Reading about the mating of these people was a bit much, but sicknesses they suffered and how they overcame them were intriguing. It seemed Snape had gotten at least some of his ideas from the book and tweaked them with his potions expertise.

Low, keening groans filtered through his comprehension. The book clacked shut when he realized it was coming from Remus' rooms.

"Snape?" Sirius pushed the door open and saw that the potions master had tangled himself in the sheets.

At first, he thought the man sleeping, but when he got within a pace of the bed he saw that Severus' eyes were open. Onyx eyes glittering in pain bore hard into his, but he hadn't the ability to speak through his clenched teeth. Snape curled his long fingers into claws, scratching at his chest and arms, arching off of the bed in pain.

"Jesus, stop!" Sirius panicked, lunging across the bed and trying to pry Snape's hands away.

Bloody furrows were already scratched across his neck; a particularly nasty one down his chest where he had torn a button from his top. Snape's mouth opened but the only sound to come free was a long, "Hhhhhhhhhhhh--" that ended in a moan.

The clawed hands grabbed hold of Sirius' upper arms, digging in painfully and nearly pinching the meat from his bones. "Easy!" Sirius hissed, unwilling to let go of Snape but not wanting to get dug to bloody ribbons either. "Moony!" He yelled toward the open door, literally climbing on top of the potions master to pin his bowing body down.

There was no sound from upstairs and Sirius clenched his eyes shut a moment. "Remus Jonathan Lupin, HELP ME!"

Immediately following his frantic shriek, the sound of stumbling footsteps and a slamming door came from the third level. Sirius didn't have the time to be relieved since Severus hissed through his teeth and broke free of his hold to dig mercilessly at his chest again.

Remus came thudding hard down the stairs and bound into the doorway just as Sirius took a face full of Snape's scratching hand. Three deep scratches began to bleed across his cheek and chin.

"Severus!" Remus barked, heaving Sirius from the dark wizard and taking his place.

Sirius sat in stunned silence where he had fallen to the floor. Blood dribbled down his chin and dripped onto his tee shirt. Remus had thrown himself flat across Snape's body, holding the other down with his strength by clutching at the mattress with bare fingers.

The two of them bucked and grunted and Sirius got an odd urge to look away in embarrassment, as though he were watching a private, lewd moment, before he came back to himself.

"What can I do?" Sirius stood, bending over Remus until he could see his friend's dust-streaked face.

"Downstairs," Remus grunted, pinning Snape's arms to his sides and clamping his legs around Snape's, locking his ankles to hold the wizard as tightly as possible. "Calming draught!"

"Right," Sirius repeated the words like a mantra in his head as he barreled headfirst down the stairs. His hands shook terribly as he thumbed through the cabinet, cursing Snape for his awful handwriting. He snatched a vial up, nearly dropping it in his haste and juggled it precariously for an eternity of nanoseconds before securing his grip and running up the stairs again.

Remus was as he had left him, face pressed into Severus' shoulder and holding the man tightly with all of his limbs. "Got it!" He skidded to a halt beside the two of them and cracked the vial open.

"Hold on," Remus mumbled, though whether to Snape or Sirius, the animagus didn't know for sure. The lycan loosed one hand and gripped Severus' jaw, pinching his fingers into the tendons.

Snape reflexively opened his mouth at the pain and Sirius poured the potion down his throat. After a moment of sputtering and another minute of Snape writhing, the potions master began to calm.

Remus was whispering something that Sirius couldn't hear as Snape calmed. Severus' eyes glazed and his death hold on Remus' arms went lax until he lay panting and defeated.

Tendons squeaking, Remus flexed his fingers, then his arms as he rolled off of the darker wizard. Sirius was looking anxious and pale beside him.

"Merlin, Padfoot, what's happened to your face?" Remus stood with a pop and frowned.

Sirius raised a hand to his face, wincing as his fingers found the deep scratches. His fingertips were stained in blood. "Snape," he said simply. "What was..." he waved a hand at Severus, unable to articulate what he had just been through, "that?"

"The first pain of transformation," Remus lamented, eyes narrowed and haunted.

Severus sighed deeply and let a single, muted sob escape him as he rolled onto his side. Remus spread his blankets straight again and lay a hand on the man's forehead. "That should help for a while," he muttered, running his bruised knuckles across Snape's cheekbone.

"Come on," Sirius said quietly, tugging at Remus' sleeve. After a moment, the wolf followed him.

Sirius walked back to his room, vaguely registering that Remus was following. His mind was buzzing and his face stung. He pulled his bloody tee shirt over his head and pressed it to his face while shuffling toward the bathroom.

Once he cleaned them up a bit, they weren't so bad. He should probably take something for them so that Snape didn't feel guilty... Since when did that matter? He thought with a snort. He decided against it though once Snape's tortured spasms came back into his mind. He would save the healing draughts for Snape and Moony.

He came out of the room to find Remus had sat on his bed, book open in his hands. He smiled a bit, "Don't lose my place," he quipped, turning to his stack of clothing for a close-to-clean shirt.

"I won't," Remus replied, a smile in his voice. The bed creaked and Sirius startled as Remus' cold fingers touched his shoulder. "What happened?"

"Hmm?" Sirius furrowed his brow, looking down where Remus was still gently prodding. A dark bruise was under the wolf's fingers, running from the ball of his shoulder to nearly half his upper arm. There were pink crescent marks from Snape's fingernails, but he knew that wasn't what Remus was referring to. He remembered then and turned a quick glance up to Remus' face. "It's nothing."

"It can't have been nothing," Remus sputtered, "That's a nasty bruise, surely you remember."

Sirius shrugged Remus' hand off and pulled his shirt on, thankful that it covered the damage entirely. "Never mind," Sirius told him a bit sternly.

"For God's sake, Sirius," Remus huffed, looking annoyed and angry.

"It was you, alright?!" Sirius snapped, instantly regretting it. Remus drew back as if struck and gaped at him. "It's nothing," he tried to soothe, though Remus didn't look very comforted.

The wolf was staring at his feet, mind whirring as he tried to remember and couldn't.

Sirius hugged him, holding tighter as Remus stiffened, "It doesn't matter. It's nothing."

"Excuse me," Remus pushed out of the comforting hold and left the room, shutting the door behind him. Sirius ran a hand down his face and sighed.

He heard another door shut in the hall and knew without checking that Remus was in his rooms with Snape. Perfect. Tying his hair back, Sirius made his way down the hall to the stairs, sparing a glance to the closed doorway that led into Moony's bedroom. He ignored it and went to the kitchen to start Molly's stew.

...oOo...

Severus slept for another hour, Remus sat and watched him the entire time. The potions master's face was pinched in pain as he slept. Remus was waiting for him to wake up in spasms again.

He could hear Sirius downstairs fumbling in the kitchen and tried to tune it out. He couldn't place the emotions that burned in his stomach. Sirius had been so furious when he finally cracked. He had never heard such accusation in the tone of Sirius' voice before. It made his heart shatter. He wasn't sure if it was Sirius, or his own lack of attention and the fact that he had hurt someone he loved.

Snape grunted and turned onto his side, but resettled into sleep again. Remus watched him, forgetting Sirius with a valiant effort. There were nasty scratches across Snape's neck and chest. The potions master would do much worse to himself before it was over.

Idly, Remus ran his fingers across his face and found the faint scars there. They had healed well and faded after time. The only place to truly see them was just under his chin where the flesh was softer and took the damage the hardest. His mother had found him the next morning and screamed. He didn't blame her when he thought back on it. There had been so much blood, no doubt she believed he had torn out his own jugular in the night.

He heard Severus shift and stood up, knowing instinctively that the man was coming to for another round. Within seconds, Severus' eyes snapped open, wide and fogged with pain. The potions master's hands curled to hooks before the first scream ripped from his chest.

"Easy, Severus," Remus cooed, though it was doubtful the man could hear him. He nearly lept onto the bed--and Severus. The dark wizard buried both hands into his hair and tugged mercilessly. Remus tried to pry the fingers out before Snape pulled chunks of his sable hair out at the root. "Come on, Severus, come on..."

One hand came away and nearly tore half of Lupin's cheek off. Remus jerked his head back out of reach, quelling a sudden urge to bite the offending hand, and clamped his arms tight around Snape's chest again. He managed to pin the loose arm, but the other was still tangled into Snape's hair.

The lycan began to mumble nonsensical things into Severus' ear. They were cooing, calming sounds and he wished the lanky man wasn't nearly as wiry-strong as he appeared or he might have been able to free one hand to stroke his hair.

Slowly, over a length of ten minutes, Severus calmed and Remus was shocked to hear a painful croak of, "Thank you, Lupin," as Severus finally relaxed back into the mattress.

Remus sat up onto his elbows, releasing Snape and staring down at him from inches away. The man's onyx eyes were half-lidded with fatigue and dull as Remus had ever seen them. "You're welcome," he muttered, feeling Snape's panted breath on his face.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but lunch is finished," Sirius said stiffly from the doorway.

Remus glanced over his shoulder, expecting a pinched, angry face and was hurt and confused at the calm, masked look Sirius returned to him.

"Don't worry, I didn't make it," Sirius told them with the same careful tone. The tray he carried was set down on the dresser. There were only two bowls on it. Remus shuffled off of the bed, careful not to knee Severus or otherwise jolt him.

"Are you up to eating?" He looked back down at Snape. The man was nearly asleep again.

"You should rouse him enough to have some. It's mostly broth anyway," Sirius was staring hard at him. Remus felt gooseflesh rise on his skin.

He turned back to Snape, helping the man sit up a bit and making sure he was fine before he turned to retrieve their late lunch. Sirius had already gone without a word.

His shattered heart felt ground together and stomped underneath Sirius' foot. Severus ate shakily by himself so long as Remus held the bowl. The potions master was staring at him with his half-dead eyes while he managed to stomach several bites. The spoon dropped back into the bowl too quickly for Remus' likes, but at least Snape had eaten something.

He helped Severus reshift back down into his bedding before he sat down with his own meal, picking sadly at it. He felt like sobbing.

"He's strained," Severus mumbled, eyes closed and hand clenching and unclenching loosely.

"What's that?" Remus blinked, clearing his throat when he realized how fogged with tears it sounded.

"Black," Snape told him with a watered-down sneer.

"Did you need something?" Sirius' head reappeared in the doorway, he held a large vial in one hand and two goblets in the other.

Remus couldn't meet Sirius' eyes and missed the wince on the animagus' face.

"No," Severus croaked, rubbing a hand down his face.

"Right," Sirius frowned, gazing between the two. It was disturbing that his one-time enemy was meeting his gaze with a flat, bland one and his best friend wouldn't look at him at all. "Albus sent this over," he held up the vial.

Severus struggled to sit up, snarling at Lupin when the man attempted to help him up. "I am not a child," he growled. Remus didn't answer, only sat down in a larger funk and wouldn't look at either man.

Remus couldn't help looking up when the vial was uncorked and a familiar stench wafted at him. Wolfsbane was being poured between the two goblets. It was thick and nearly colorless.

"Here Moony," Sirius said softly, handing one of the goblets over. Remus felt his heart pinch at the nickname and took the glass with both hands. Sirius offered him a pained, small smile and sat down next to Snape. "Here, just as you ordered."

"What?" Remus blinked, finally realizing that Sirius was going to have Snape drink a dose of Wolfsbane.

Snape took the glass in both hands, but still shook badly enough that Sirius helped him. Severus glared over the rim but drank the contents without a fuss. He gagged a bit and coughed when he was finished.

"You see, it truly is vile," Sirius grinned weakly, trying to lighten the suffocating atmosphere.

"I told you it couldn't be helped," Severus croaked, wiping a hand across his mouth.

"Why are you taking a dose of Wolfsbane?" Remus frowned at both of them as they acted so familiar with each other.

"Just in case," Sirius answered for Snape. Lupin looked beyond his friend to see Severus was nodding his agreement. It was a precaution, even he knew it although he refused to acknowledge it.

Sirius was humming while Remus sized up Severus. It was terribly awkward to want to have both Sirius and Snape but get worked up and jealous when it seemed the two of them had shared knowledge that he didn't have.

The animagus stood and went to Lupin's bathroom, apparently on his own mission. He laughed as he turned on the light and it echoed back at them. "I forgot you needed a new sink," Sirius walked back out holding an edge of porcelain.

Remus flushed, trying to sink into his own chair when Severus turned sleepy, curious eyes toward him. He had forgotten about shattering the sink a couple of weeks ago. He hadn't been using his bathroom since and had taken to walking down the hall instead.

"I'll just get it back together for you, shall I?" Sirius frowned, tossing the piece back into the small room. He drew his wand from his pocket and flicked his wrist. "Reparo."

There was a slight tinkling as the pieces reconnected and shifted together. Sirius squatted down to the floor, twisting himself around into position to reach the shut-off valves. His shirt rose on one side, flashing a bit of skin.

Remus pinked a bit and looked away, right at Severus. The potions master was looking curiously at him. To make his paranoia worse, Remus watched the darker wizard sniff delicately twice. The dull haze of his eyes cleared in a blink and a strange current of knowledge was shared between them.

Severus knew.

Lupin cleared his throat and excused himself, taking up their lunch bowls in shaking hands and escaping the room with the tray. He pressed his back to the wall and took several deep breaths to cleanse his racing mind. If Severus had looked at him that way before the bite, he was sure he could have passed it off. However, Severus had been bitten and was currently going through pieces of a lycanthrope change.

The potions master had smelled his arousal.

He nearly dropped the bowls and broke them halfway down the stairs because of his lack of attention. Surely he was only fooling himself. Severus was sick and very clever. Whose to say he hadn't just thought of something new to add to one of his potions?

The dishes were set down carefully in the sink and rinsed in warm water. Remus idly wiped his hands on his pants as he went back up the stairs. He was laughing to himself by the time he made it back to the room. Of course he was only imagining things. It was only because he had looked directly at Severus after ogling Sirius. He was just paranoid, that was all.

Sirius was bent over Snape when he pushed the door open and Remus had to swallow a lump of envy. He skirted around Sirius' protruding rear and sat down in his chair.

"A bit further to the left," Sirius mumbled, helping Severus roll carefully onto his left side. "Perfect."

The animagus sat up sideways, holding Snape in place with one hand and squeezing a rag from a bowl of water with the other. He did a double-take over his shoulder when he noticed Remus had returned.

"Oh good, Remy would you help me?"

Remus blinked in surprise. There was no anger or stiffness to Sirius' face or tone. He smiled a bit at the back of his friends head and realized he should have known better. Even when they were children, Sirius never was able to hold a grudge to him.

"What do you need?" Remus stood up, unsure of where to go.

"Go around and climb up, you're gonna have to hold him down," Sirius said cheerfully. Severus sneered, though he didn't snap anything about hexing Remus if he dared.

Forgetting about his discomfort from earlier because of his natural curiosity, Remus walked around them. It wasn't until he was sitting up beside Severus that he realized Sirius had helped him remove his shirt. He was going to have to hold the man while he was half-naked.

He fought a flush of pink from his face and cleared his throat. "Well?"

"I'm cleaning these," Sirius pointed at the deep scratches with a dripping finger. "The problem is that they're very painful and he nearly goes back into spasms." He grinned over at Remus, "That's where you come in."

"Right," Remus mumbled, uncertain but preparing himself regardless.

Sirius had been right. As soon as the rag touched Severus' skin, the man arched off of the bed and tried to grab at his chest again. Remus latched onto him, pinning Snape's arms behind his back with his right arm threaded through them and his left wrapped snug around his waist.

Sirius continued mechanically, as though Severus weren't on the verge of screaming. Lupin held on as well as he could without fear of hurting Snape more. At one point he had to loop his leg around Severus' as well to keep the potions master from kicking.

"Nearly done," Sirius grunted, catching a stray elbow in the chest.

Remus didn't reply, too busy using his breath to pin Snape down. The rag touched Severus' neck and the potions master tossed his head. His skull struck Remus in the temple, sending sparkling stars in his vision.

The lycan bent his head to Severus', pushing his head aside with his own. His neck was starting to burn and cramp, and the stubble on Snape's cheek was eating into his skin.

"Done," Sirius barked, throwing the rag to the side and helping hold Severus until the man calmed down.

It was almost immediately after Severus sagged between them that he was asleep. Sirius looked down in surprise then over Snape's shoulder to Remus.

The lycan uncurled slowly, flexing his cramped fingers and rubbing absently at his whisker-burned face. "That was fun," he mumbled. Sirius laughed and helped him off of the bed. The animagus didn't release him immediately and Remus fought off color in his face. "Padfoot, I want to apologize for being so difficult lately."

Sirius blinked in surprise, "There's no need to be sorry, Remus."

"I know, I know. I'm sick," Remus grimaced at the familiar phrase. "I just hate not being able to keep in my own head sometimes. I don't want to come out of another funk and realize I've hurt anyone badly." He took hold of Sirius' arm and pushed the shirt sleeve up until he could see the ugly black bruise. "This is too much, Padfoot."

The arm Remus held wound around his shoulder and pulled him into a loose, one-armed hug. "You're getting better, Moony, and I've been through plenty worse than a few rough swats from my best friend."

Remus laughed a little, it was better than sniffling, and drew away. A haunted look had crossed Sirius' face and the wolf actually turned to look over his shoulder to see what the other was looking at. He realized that Sirius was lost in his own thoughts. He touched the animagus' arm and stared seriously at him. "You'll tell me one day?"

"Hmm?" Sirius frowned, blinking away the clouds of his recent past. "One day, Remy," he mumbled, voice thick with emotion.

Remus nodded, unsure of his voice. "We, uh," he cleared his throat and smiled a bit as Sirius looked at him again with clear vision, "We ought to help Snape with some of his toiletries if this is going to be a frequent event."

"Eh?" Sirius blinked, grinning a bit as he caught onto his friends renewed mirth.

"I haven't had a case of beard-stubble burn this badly for quite some time," Remus rubbed absently at his cheek then colored brightly when he realized what he had said--and what it implied.

"Moony," Sirius sputtered, gaping and trying not to laugh. Remus dipped his head and looked up through his swaying bangs. After a moment he grinned and laughed, Sirius joined him.

They giggled--quite unbecoming for full grown men--and snickered into their hands as they tried to calm down and keep from disturbing Snape. They calmed down over time, still grinning wide and hiccoughing into their fists.

"Right," Sirius croaked between a spatter of fading giggles. "So what do we do?"

"Shave him?" Remus shrugged. Unbidden an image of Severus with his head tipped back and he or Sirius dragging a straight-edged razor carefully up the dark wizard's throat. His mouth went dry and he blinked twice before returning to the present. Sirius was giving him a calculating, half-knowing look that made him blush again. "What?" He demanded through his embarrassment.

Sirius grinned and pretended to gag, "My God, Remy that is the most revoltingly overused scenario in all obsessive women's fantasies."

"Are you calling me a woman?" Remus huffed, pretending to be hurt as he followed Sirius back to the animagus' room. Sirius shot him a self-satisfied smirk that reminded Remus so badly of Severus he nearly tackled his friend in the hallway. "Besides, it is a good fantasy."

"Oh, Moony, you have to be more original than that." Sirius shook his head sadly at his friend's lack of imagination. He plopped onto his bed, shuffling backward until he sat Indian-style in the middle.

Remus' eyes glazed for a moment and a slow smirk curled onto his face. Sirius wasn't sure he wanted to know what the wolf was thinking. "Aah, Padfoot, you might be surprised."

Sirius made a face. "You're actually thinking about it. You really weren't kidding about being intrigued with Snape were you?"

Since Sirius appeared sincere and had ceased making a partially disgusted face, Remus bit his lip and considered how to answer. He didn't want to tell Sirius yes and dampen any future 'possibilities' in case he really decided to take a taste of dog flesh instead.

"It's rather complicated," Remus said slowly as he tried his best to puzzle out an answer to sate them both. "I wasn't kidding, Padfoot. I wonder sometimes how things would be, if it would be worth the trouble. But that's just my own reaching fantasies." A wave of self-depreciation fogged the fun mood he had shared with Sirius only moments ago. Not that anyone would want an old werewolf, he thought bitterly.

"Moony, don't," Sirius pouted. He waggled his fingers out to Remus until he reluctantly crossed the room close enough for Sirius to snag a hold of his pant's pocket. The animagus tugged none-too-gently until Remus sat down.

"Don't what?" Lupin sighed, sitting stiff and uncomfortable at the edge of the bed.

"You got that look again," Sirius told him while shuffling around on the bed. He pulled his legs out from beneath him and sat down next to Remus. "That same one you used to get at school when James would talk about Lily, or I talked about anyone I was seeing."

"Bragged about, you mean."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Bragged about, then. Only you didn't look so bitter and defeated then." The animagus stopped there, casting sidelong glances at Remus. He didn't want the wolf to get angry with him. They'd only just gotten back to normal again.

"Never mind, Sirius," Remus muttered, turning his face toward the far wall and taking an interest in the peeling wallpaper.

It was uncomfortably quiet. Remus chose to ignore Sirius moving about again, even as he dipped back and forth with the man's shifting weight. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Sirius sidled up behind, resting his chin on Lupin's shoulder and sitting close enough that Remus was nested between his legs.

It was hard not to melt back into the heat but Remus did his best not to.

"We talked about this a couple of weeks ago, didn't we? You're worthy of affection, Moony. You've just got to stop being worried about what people might think and listen to what they do think." Sirius spoke stern and soft, absently holding a bit tighter.

Remus had never felt so comfortable and utterly destroyed in his entire life. Sirius stayed wrapping Lupin like a fleshy blanket. If he knew about the shattered interior of Remus' psyche, he didn't show it.

"Sirius you don't know what it's like--"

"I don't," Sirius interrupted. "But Severus has been bitten, and he knows the in's and out's of your other side. I bet he can understand your darker half better than some other wolves even."

Remus blinked owlishly at the cracked wall in front of him. "Are you telling me to go after Severus?" He whispered.

Sirius let him go and scooted back slowly until they no longer touched. "Maybe you should."

"You don't know what you're saying," Remus muttered, standing up and going to the door. He glared over his shoulder at Sirius. "I'd appreciate it if you'd stop pretending you know what's best for me Sirius. I've been living for twelve years without your imperious advice, and I'm still alive."

Sirius gaped at his doorway where Remus disappeared and slammed the door so soundly the wood frame cracked.

Remus stormed back to his room, momentarily forgetting that Severus was currently residing in his bed. He kicked his door shut and spun around, swearing and slapping himself in the forehead.

Snape rolled onto his back, glaring beneath his curtain of hair. "Have your tantrum elsewhere," he rasped, shaking with effort as he tried to sit up.

Lupin offered him an arm, frowning at the amount of heat that seeped into his shirt. "You still have a fever," he told no one in particular.

"How utterly unfantastic," Severus murmured, wiggling his way toward the edge of the bed. "Help me to the bathroom," he demanded.

The wolf laughed short and helped him stand. Severus pushed away from him in the doorway and walked the rest of the way himself into the restroom. Remus stayed lingering there until Snape came shuffling back out again.

"Bed," the man blurted, holding out an arm to be taken.

"You seem to have gotten used to the help about," Lupin took the offered arm and guided Severus back around and tucked him in.

"What other choice do I have?" Snape grumbled. "You'll do it either way, I may as well make it a demand and take some of the shame out of it."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of," Remus told him softly. Severus snorted and relaxed back into the mattress. The wolf stared down at him, thinking idly about what Sirius had said. It had been true for the most part. Severus would know better than most what it was like to be one of the dregs of society, to be feared and hated for no real reason. What Sirius said had stung, as though he himself were too pure and good. Damn the man.

"What are you looking at?" Snape yawned, half asleep.

"You," Remus smiled a bit, suddenly nervous.

"Haven't you had your fill yet?" Severus snorted.

"I guess not," Lupin admitted. Suddenly, before he could think about it, he bent forward and pressed his dry, cracked lips to Severus'. The potions master went rigid beneath him. Remus sat up, flushing crimson.

"Lupin," Severus' voice cracked. He paused to swallow and clear his throat. "Don't do that again."

"I'm sorry Severus," Remus whispered, heart clenched and bleeding into his chest.

The potions master struggled to sit up. Remus offered him a hand but Snape shot him a dark, forbidding look and the wolf drew away, stung. Finally, after too much exertion, Severus stood on his wavering feet and drew the door open.

"I'll return to my rooms," Severus stared out into the hall, unable to look at the werewolf. "Forgive me for intruding."

Lupin waffled in the room, watching Severus stagger across the hall and fumble into his own dark rooms. The door shut though once Snape was through and he was left alone.

He sank to his knees and couldn't dredge up enough energy to weep. He was damned, and now he had estranged Severus again.


	18. Moonrise: Wolf or Man?

a/n: The story is still coming in spurts. I'm going to thumb through some old fanfiction and watch the movies again just for a little inspiration to keep it going. For all those interested, I am writing a whole SLEW of fluff for this story (finally hit that spot, thank heaven) so fear not those who want to read about some affection. And, for anyone who missed it, there is an OOS chapter called 'Interlude' that I had posted seperately on Christmas which is a small slice of slash set to this timeline.

Anywho, enjoy the new chapter! Nnif -.-

...oOo...

Sirius frowned at the sudden silence. He'd fucked up again, that was certain. He hadn't meant for Remus to stalk out angry and feeling worse than before. To tell the God's honest truth, he didn't know what he was doing.

He opened his door, wanting to follow and apologize, or let Remus beat the snot out of him, whatever would work. He wasn't used to being the one that needed to keep the peace, he was usually the one Remus had to calm down, not the other way around. He didn't know how to be needed. He was usually the needy one.

The sight that met him in the hall made him pause in surprise. Severus was staggering into his own room, robe cinched tight.

God, what did he make Remus do?

Shame bloomed through him. Sirius stalked down the hall and pushed Lupin's door open. The wolf was sitting on the floor, looking broken and tired.

"Remy?" He croaked. The wolf turned vacant eyes up, registering that it was Sirius but not bothering to stand or otherwise situate himself.

"I've done it now," He whispered.

Sirius sat down beside him, drawing his knees to his chest. "What happened?"

"I kissed him," Remus laughed outright, sour and cold. "And he left. I didn't even try to see if he was interested... or if he was even _gay_!"

"I'm sorry," Sirius sighed, "I didn't think about it either. We're both stupid."

"Yea," Remus chuffed, rubbing his face with both hands. "What's wrong with me? I've been alone longer than some people have been alive, why all of a sudden am I jumping for anything with warm flesh?"

"Why not?" Sirius grinned, Remus didn't. "Look Remy, it might have been impetuous but it is _Snape_ we're talking about. I think you'd have to knock him out and pump him, and _you_, full of Veritaserum before he'd believe you, or himself for that matter."

Finally, Remus cracked a small smile. "Why do I listen to you?"

"Beats me," Sirius shrugged, "you never used to, knew I was full of shit."

"I'm out of practice," Remus sighed heavily. "With everything."

"Oh well," the animagus patted his friend's knee, "part of being old I imagine."

"We're cursed, Siri, to get old and crotchety alone... together," Remus laughed.

Sirius laughed with him, slinging an arm across Lupin's shoulders and hugged him. "We'll need to do something about the fleas..."

"Quite right," Remus grinned a bit before sighing deeply. "Do you think Severus will hex me?"

"Not today," Sirius smirked. "Maybe after the full moon when he's feeling better."

"Oh, well then that gives me a whole thirteen hours to get my affairs in order," Remus looked around his room and held his arms out, motioning about him, "Well, there it is... That was quick."

"I can buy you a hutch for it all," Sirius quipped. Remus indulged him with another small smile.

"Would you mind looking in on Severus for the night," Remus mumbled to the floor. "I'm too mortified to look at him, much less feel his cold, accusing eyes on me."

"Maybe you'll be lucky," Sirius shrugged, "maybe he'll forget by morning."

"I've never had luck, much less good luck." Remus stood with a grunt and sat down on the edge of his bed. "If you don't mind, Padfoot, I think I'll lay down a while. I'm feeling like a complete tit."

"Maybe if you'd prefer one we wouldn't be in this mess," Sirius mumbled with a smile. Remus gave him a dirty look and the animagus laughed. "Sorry, Moony, I couldn't resist. You take a rest, I'll see to the bastard."

"Don't call him that," Remus muttered, shaking out his linens and stripping down.

Sirius rolled his eyes and helped the wolf as much as he could before Remus slapped him away. The animagus stuck his tongue out and folded his arms over his chest like a petulant child. Remus stripped to his slacks, hand on his buckle before he realized Sirius hadn't left. "What?"

Sirius stood looking over his waif of a friend. The wolf was thin and pale, he could see the veins shot through the man's skin. Body hair smattered across him in a "T", amber as his eyes and void where scars had torn the flesh out. With even his shaggy, grey streaked head and five o'clock shadow Sirius found him handsome. Underfed, certainly, but a handsome man just the same.

"Nothing," Sirius croaked after a time. He bid Remus a good rest and left the room, shutting the door tight behind him.

He stood in the hall, rubbing his thumbs into the hollows of his eyes and shook his head. There he was, pushing Remus toward Snape and wanting the damned wolf himself. He didn't deserve Remy, of that he knew well enough. It didn't stop him from the want, or the vehement denial.

Instead of worrying about it, he crossed the hall and pushed open Snape's door. The potions master lay in a ball on top of his blankets, shivering in the cold of his rooms.

"Snape," Sirius sighed as he kicked the door shut. He crossed over to help Severus with blankets at least, but the potions master rolled over and glared at him.

"Come to accuse me of something when I was the one molested?"

"You weren't molested," Sirius growled, snapping the blankets back a bit roughly. "And don't give Remus a hard time about it. He's vulnerable right now."

Severus snorted and growled back when the animagus drew too close. "Get out," he snapped.

"Oh, shut up," Sirius demanded. He started the fire in Snape's fireplace with his wand. Snape was glaring at him when he turned around. "It was my fault."

"I know well enough," Severus told him with a mean smirk.

"Excuse me?" Sirius stilled.

"You're denying him," Snape glanced away before turning back with a heavy glare. "It's you he's wanting, and you won't do anything about it."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sirius stammered, face hot and scowling.

"You can smell it," Severus whispered, still creeping out Sirius with his heavy gaze and hollow smirk. "Don't pretend you haven't. You smile and he forgives you the worst transgression; you laugh and he sighs in content; you walk around without a shirt and the wolf goes to a lather."

Sirius gaped and sputtered, "Stop lying," he growled. "Don't speak about Remus that way!"

"Are you afraid I'm right? Or are you afraid of _him_?" Severus purred.

The animagus colored brightly and stalked forward, shaking Snape by his lapels. "Shut the fuck up!"

Severus levered himself up until he was inches away from Sirius' face and sneered, "Struck a nerve, have I?"

The animagus let him go, dropping him back to the mattress and stalking out. Sirius fumed, swore and kicked Snape's door twice for good measure. The bastard could ball up and die for all he cared.

…oOo…

Severus waited patiently, listening to Sirius disappear. He didn't care if the man went to his rooms or changed to a dog and went for a run-in with the Pound. Sirius' door slammed shut only seconds later and Snape curled his lip into a sneer. He'd have slammed the idiots head into it, however he was loathe to hurt the doorframes.

Sure that Lupin and Black would leave him be, he had alienated both of them—though Lupin had done well enough himself and would need to be dealt with later—Snape swung his feet to the floor and used his bed stand to support himself. His head was spinning and throbbing just behind his eyes. He had felt pain similar before after having his head driven repeatedly into a stone grotto and receiving one hell of a concussion.

He grit his teeth and walked to his bathroom. The image in the mirror was not a pleasant one. His face lax and ashen, his hair was greasier than normal. He growled and resisted the temptation to shatter the glass with his fist and decided it would be a waste of energy.

He retrieved a set of towels from his shelf and hugged them to his chest as he made his way back to his bedroom. A small bound book was added to his pile and he cracked the door open. The hall was empty, Lupin's door was shut tight and Black's was pushed to.

With a shiver, Severus hobbled into the hall and pulled his door shut quietly. The stairs loomed and looked four flights larger than it actually was. The second and eighth steps squealed, Snape paused both times, heart leaping into his throat. Neither time did Black or Lupin come running to his aid. He breathed a sigh of relief and made it to the bottom floor in less than five minutes.

It was hard to breathe normally after all the effort, but he grinned through the panting and struggled into the kitchen. The closest chair was fine enough, Snape spilled his things onto the tabletop and sat down with a groan. The being sick and being waited on shtick was wearing excruciatingly thin. If nothing else, at least the breaking of his fever brought him back around to his own frame of mind. While he was having a lucid moment, he wanted to document, and read and rethink.

He lit the kitchen fireplace with his wand, magicked a towel to stay warm and wrapped his neck with it. In a few moments he had a tray of tea, a warm hovel and decent lighting to read. His only true wish he had no control over was that Lupin and Black remained away for the duration of what was left of the day. A whole new hell was waiting once night fell.

He wrote until his eyelids felt heavy. He closed his eyes to rest them for a moment, just to ease the ache behind his eyes. When he opened them again, the light from the window was completely gone and the fire in the kitchen had died to a dull glow.

"Have you found him?" Echoed from upstairs, it was Remus and he sounded half panicked.

There was a thump and a bang and a muted answer from Sirius. A moment later Sirius' irritated voice boomed across the whole house, "SNAPE?!?"

Remus shushed him and they argued in the hallway. It was a moment later, when Severus was swearing colorfully to himself for sleeping his whole afternoon away at the kitchen table, that banging footsteps came down the stairs and then the sound of a body slipping and falling down the steps.

"Jesus! Sirius are you alright?!"

Snape couldn't help himself. He could envision Sirius Black slipping on the top step and spectacularly flailing before plummeting like a rock down the stairs. He barked out a laugh and continued to snort into his hand as he tried to calm himself before they found him.

Sirius groaned pitifully in the hallway and Severus lost his tenuous hold and dropped his head to the tabletop, snickering into the wood grain as quietly as possible. It wasn't much longer that there was an exclamation as Remus rounded the corner and saw him there.

Severus sat up, still snickering, and looked at the duo. Sirius was being supported by Remus, limping on one foot and a lovely bruising spot on his cheekbone.

To both Sirius' and Severus' surprise, Remus let out a half growl and let Sirius go abruptly, stalked across the short distance and hauled Snape from his chair. Severus was expecting to be torn limb from limb, but instead the wolf enfolded him in a tight hug.

Remus' stubbled chin burnt into the side of his face and neck as the wolf breathed into him and clutched at him. "Severus, thank Merlin…"

Sirius had caught himself on the doorjamb and was staring at them with wide blue eyes.

"It's not like I left to run a marathon," Severus grumbled into Lupin's shoulder.

"I thought I'd offended you so badly," Remus whimpered, fingers digging into Snape's spine. "I would never—"

"Lupin, stop," Severus wheezed, "I can't breathe."

Remus reluctantly let him go, cupping his face in both hands and staring so hard Severus thought he'd have bore holes in his forehead.

"Stop it," Severus growled, feeling an uncomfortable pile of worms squirming in his stomach.

"I'm sorry," Remus whispered, looking as though Severus had struck him.

Snape watched him walk back a step before the soft scent of Remus' concern swept over him, and beneath it a thin taint of need that struck him like rock to the temple. "How can you…" Severus started but stopped abruptly. It made no sense. He had smelled Remus' arousal when Sirius was fixing his sink. He knew without a doubt that Lupin wanted the animagus, wanted him bad enough to jump Sirius given the chance. But for Lupin to want him too? To _need_ him?

Sirius grunted as he hobbled forward to fall into a kitchen chair. "How can who, what?"

Severus sat down into his vacated seat and stared at Lupin's back as the man went about, shakily making tea. "Nothing," Snape croaked. He turned to his journal and flipped through his writing, coming to a page of things about Lupin that confused the hell out of him. The page was getting longer. He dipped his quill and wrote the newest bit out in Latin, knowing that if Sirius got nosey, the idiotic Gryffindor wouldn't know what it meant.

"Here," Remus set the tray of tea shakily onto the tabletop. He poured out three cups and passed them around, giving a long, lingering look to Severus before sitting down across from him.

"When is moonrise?" Severus asked, ignoring the cup and holding his journal abnormally close as he scribbled.

Sirius squinted out the window and shrugged. "Maybe half an hour?"

"Closer to twenty minutes," Remus corrected, staring sullenly into his cup.

"Right." Severus frowned and set aside the journal. The knowledge of the impending moonrise was like ice water down his spine.

"Would you like to get ready?" Remus asked him softly. Severus wasn't sure what he wanted. He wanted not to have been bitten; he wanted to be back in his dungeons with nothing else to worry about in his life. Dealing with Voldemort's mood swings and the constant tugging between the two masters in his life looked like a comfortable Sunday morning.

Lupin set his cup down and stood. "Come on," he took Snape by the upper arm, tugging him upright. Severus snarled, but Remus ignored it entirely, leading them both toward the basement stairs.

"I'll set things to rights up here," Sirius called after them with a slight bitter tone.

Severus was dragged down the stairs and into the small wine closet from a month ago. He scowled the entire time, too out of breath to growl at Lupin.

Remus sat down on the floor in the corner he had been in before. He drew his knees to his chest and looked up at Severus through his hair with eyes far too emotional and open for Snape's liking. "Sit down, Severus," he murmured.

With little choice since the moon was going to rise whether he liked it or not, Severus slid down the wall to the floor with a grunt.

"I'm sorry that this happened. I hope to God that you aren't infected."

Severus chuffed. Lupin wasn't the only one hoping. "Is that why you dragged me down here early? To tell me that?"

"Yes," Remus choked out. "And… and that I hope you aren't angry with me about earlier."

The wolf didn't look at him and color flooded his face. Severus felt that mass of worms writhe a bit, aided as they were by the soft scent of Remus' need.

It was silent for a very long time, Remus deflated as the time went, taking the silence as Severus' angry rebuttal to his hopes. Severus was confused and a little irritated. He had hated Remus with a passion that could burn through time. But the hatred wasn't there anymore. There was nothing there. It was as though someone had wiped away the smear on the slate and left it empty to be filled again.

If he had his choice, he would ignore it until he could leave Remus' presence for another chunk of time and forget whatever had come up. Unfortunately, he still needed to assist Lupin until the wolf was better. He wouldn't have the opportunity to forget it.

Damn.

"Lupin, I don't understand—"

"Here we are," Sirius interrupted, stepping into the room with two robes. "Time to strip down."

Remus stared hard at Snape, willing him to finish his sentence. When it was apparent that Severus had clammed up he turned baleful eyes to Sirius and snatched the robe out of his friend's hands with a small snarl.

"What?" Sirius growled back, tossing the other robe at Snape.

"Never mind," Remus sighed. He turned his back to them and shrugged out of his shirt. Severus held his robe close and watched through his hair, trying to pretend to himself that he wasn't.

Lupin's boney back emerged first, a small litany of scars across his ribcage and chest, they wrapped about him in thin claw-marks. It was obvious they were self-inflicted, not one of them stretched farther than Lupin could reach.

The wolf needed to eat. A lot. And regularly.

Remus shrugged on the robe first before undoing his pants and pushing the clothing free from his lower extremities. When he turned both Sirius and Severus were looking at him with different degrees of interest. He flushed and stared at his feet. "Not much to look at, eh?" He laughed half-heartedly to kill the sound of self-pity from his voice.

"Moony," Sirius admonished with a soft sigh.

Severus was mildly intrigued. From Black's and Lupin's reaction, it hadn't been the first time Remus had said something self-derogatory. He catalogued the information, knowing that somehow when he was back to his own analytical mind—free of fever and fatigue—that it would be important.

"It's depressing," Severus told him. Remus' head jerked up in surprise and Snape could see the hurt etched on the wolf's scruffy face. Sirius turned an angry glare toward him but Severus didn't bother to amend it, they would understand in a moment.

Snape dropped the robe to the floor and unbuttoned his shirt painfully with his injured hand. He hadn't noticed how swollen it had gotten.

"What the hell would you know about it?" Sirius growled, clearly offended for Remus.

Snape still didn't answer, only unbuttoned his shirt cuffs and let the shirt fall to the floor. He turned and bent to retrieve his robe, finally looking at both of the others as he pulled it onto his shoulders. Remus' eyes were hooded, but there was still hurt in the set of his lips.

"I didn't realize anyone else could look as bad as this," he waved a shaking hand down himself in a flourish.

Sirius' angry mouth clamped shut and the hard set of his face softened. Remus gave him a small sad smile. "Severus…"

Snape held up a hand. He wasn't seeking assurances, he knew he had no true aesthetic appeal and he had made peace with that a very, very long time ago. He turned his back to them and pushed his pajama bottoms off. He neatly folded them and sat down carefully, making sure nothing private would be hanging out.

"How much longer?" He growled out.

"Soon," Remus shivered, sitting down across from Snape. He didn't appear to be as conscious of his clothing, or maybe didn't have enough strength left to care.

Sirius sat down on the wall adjacent to them both.

The air was tense and charged with electricity. Severus started when he realized he could feel the pull of the moon. He looked up at Remus with wide eyes. The wolf stared back at him, knowing what Snape had sensed. He gave the potions master a slight nod to tell him, yes, it was the moon, and yes, he felt it too.

It was perhaps thirty seconds later that Remus hissed slowly through his teeth and held his hands before his face. He stared at them and then between his fingers at Snape. "I'm so sorry," he sobbed out before he curled in on himself and bit his tongue.

Severus' heart hammered hard in his chest and his head swam. His time was up and the truth would soon show itself.

Sirius was kneeling by Remus, petting his friend's head and glancing over at Snape every few seconds.

"Well?"

Snape shook his head, "I… I don't know."

Remus shivered and let out a strangled half-howl. His eyes opened and glowed brilliant amber. He stared directly at Severus and struggled to crawl toward him. Severus was torn between horror and panic. The lycan was struggling through his change as he shuffled toward him. The bones of his face shifting and twisting under his flesh.

Sirius didn't try to stop Remus, and Severus wanted to shake the man by his shoulders or scream, possibly both. But it was too late for any of that. Remus' clawed hand reached out and pawed at him, drawing him forward by his thigh.

"Lupin!" He shrieked, clawing uselessly at the floor. He panicked and caught hold of Sirius' pant leg. "Black! Do something!"

Sirius was too dumbfounded to do anything but gape and reach out belatedly.

Remus curled around him, snugging him up tight to his chest. Severus shivered in revulsion. He could feel the bones of Lupin's chest shift and slide against his back. "Don' fight," Remus mushed out through his clicking jaw.

Severus went limp, curling his arms protectively around his head.

"Can smell it." Remus grunted. The wolf shuddered and buried his face into Snape's back.

Snape gasped. Heat rolled down his back and spread through his limbs. It centered on his hand and the heat condensed at the bite mark until he felt like it would combust. He held it out, trying to curl it into a fist but even the slightest twitch made the pain flare until his vision clouded at the edges.

He didn't even feel Remus transform, even pressed as tightly to him as he was, and if ever asked could say he had forgotten he was held by a monster entirely.

Sweat poured from his skin in rivulets, soaking into his robe. It seemed Sirius had disappeared. Snape didn't care.

Remus shifted from behind him, stretching with pops and snaps, and stood to shake his pelt. He stuck his nose on Severus' cheek and the dark wizard gasped. It was like a sheet of ice pressed to the sun. In that moment, his fever broke and gooseflesh rippled down his skin.

Sirius reappeared then with a towel in one hand and a jug of water in the other. "You alright?"

Severus shivered, curled in the fetal position, and finally croaked out the affirmative. The animagus dropped to his knees beside him and toweled off his face and neck. "Thank god," he murmured.

"What?" Severus asked, mind fuzzy and body exhausted.

"Look," Sirius smiled a little.

Severus glanced about, seeing Remus in the doorway gazing at him from the distance. The man was now a wolf, laying in the entry with his amber eyes aglow.

"I don't…" Severus frowned, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"You don't seem to have a furry problem," Sirius muttered gently, wiping down Snape's hair with a damp cloth. He smirked at the darker man when his eyes widened in realization.

Severus looked down at his hand. The hole in his palm had scarred over, just like that. He touched it with a forefinger, only a dull, faint mark of pain. He gazed back up at Lupin, then down at himself again. He hadn't turned. Sweet Merlin, he wasn't infected.

Relief filled him so quickly he sagged against the wall, slumped against a very surprised Sirius Black. Snape nearly felt himself beginning to weep with relief. That was too much for Black to see and have as ammunition later. "Antidote," Severus croaked, pointing aimlessly toward the ceiling where the kitchen sat.

"Right," Sirius murmured, still a bit taken aback. He slid away from Severus, pausing to hold the man upright before he stepped over Remus and started for the stairwell.

Snape was alone with Moony, the wolf blinking lazily at him.

"Lupin," Severus croaked, staring down at his hand. It was still surprising. All that pain and blood, and it had healed over in seconds. The wolf picked his head up from the floor and twitched his ears forward. "Come here," he breathed.

Moony stood slowly, eyes sharp. He toed forward, stuttering ahead bit by bit, uncertain.

"It's… please," Severus motioned, swallowing down bile as the wolf complied carefully. He needed to do this, had to move past it.

The wolf finally crept close enough to lay his head at Severus' feet, no closer. Snape drew his feet up, hugging his knees to his chest, eyes wide and glassy. Lupin stayed still, barely breathing as though he knew what Severus was attempting to do.

Snape gathered his courage, pushing away the irrational fear the surged through his blood. He held out his hand, palm down and watched with dilated pupils as Moony stretched his neck and slowly stuck his nose into Severus' hand.

His hand shook as he flexed his fingers around the overgrown muzzle. Lupin shuffled forward on his stomach a full step, laying his head on the ground by Severus' hip and closed his eyes. After a moment, Snape closed his eyes too and rested his head back against the stone, running his fingertips across the wolf's muzzle and scratching lightly between its eyes.

Sirius came back at that point, pausing in the doorway with eyes wide in disbelief. He nearly dropped the bottle of Snape's Wolfsbane antidote. Either Snape's mind had broken or something cathartic had happened.

He stepped around Moony and uncorked Snape's vial. He crouched down by the man who actually looked to be sleeping and touched his shoulder. Severus' eyes snapped open and he had a moment of hyperventilation before he recognized Sirius.

"Here," Sirius handed his bottle over and watched as the wizard drank the entire contents. Snape dropped the vial from his nerveless fingers and Sirius winced as it struck the floor with a sharp ping, surprised that it didn't shatter. "Are you alright?"

"Tired," Severus whispered. He stood shakily, now oblivious of Lupin, and walked toward the door on very unsteady legs.

Sirius got a knowing look from the wolf, made foreign with the furry face. "I'm going," he pouted at Remus.

Snape jumped as Sirius took his arm and wrapped it over his shoulders. "Come on, Snape, I'll help you back upstairs."

Severus only grunted, too emotionally and physically exhausted to argue. By the time they made the kitchen he was sagging against Sirius. The animagus grunted with each larger step up with his exertion. As they rounded and started up the first flight of stairs, Snape was tripping over his own feet and Black had to haul him bodily up the remainder.

Sirius paused on the landing, breathing heavily and leaning against the wall pinning half of Snape to it. His panting breaths were blowing Severus' hair across his face.

The potions master rolled his head on his shoulders, looking over at Sirius through sleep laden eyes. "I'm okay," he croaked, his face was light, one of youth and innocence that made Sirius stop breathing for a moment. He wondered if maybe it was how Severus had looked as a child before life had sucked it out of him.

"Yea, you're okay," he muttered, still breathless. And Severus smiled, it even made his eyes glitter. Sirius felt himself leaning in, sliding along the drywall toward Snape, he'd even licked his lower lip quickly in brief anticipation. But Severus blinked, and the age and weight of his life crashed back down on his shoulders and the man literally sagged downward, slipping to the floor. It broke Sirius' daze and he quickly grasped hold of Snape's upper arms and hauled him back to his full height.

He walked Severus back to his room, shouldering open the door and dragging the half-asleep man toward his bed.

"Black," Snape murmured, turning onto his stomach as Sirius tugged his arm free of one side of his robe to unclothe him, "he wants you. But I don't get it."

Sirius stilled, eyes widening. "You mean Remus?"

"Yes," Severus shifted, apparently too tired to realize he was naked on top of his blankets.

The potions master rolled into his pillows, burrowing his head into his arms as he stuffed them beneath. Sirius flipped the blanket over him and leaned down so that he could see half of Snape's face. "What don't you get? How a man can feel for another?" A flash of bitterness and anger prickled up Sirius' spine and he quelled it.

"No," Severus mumbled, yawning wide, eyes already closed. "Why me too?"

The last bit was so softly spoken Sirius barely heard it, even straining as he was. He paused, still hovering uncomfortably bent across the bed as the words sank in. But what exactly had Severus meant? That Remus liked Snape? Or that Snape like him too…

He nearly shook Severus awake to demand the answer, but didn't. Sirius stood and stared down at Severus, eyes tracing the scars on his back as he thought. All the questions were only answered with more and his head began to hurt.

Sirius straightened the blanket and let his hand linger on Severus' back, feeling the man's solid heat beneath his palm. He ran his hand down from Snape's shoulder, lightly tracing down until he met the man's pointed hipbone. Severus shivered and his face formed a very careful pinched look that Sirius couldn't quite place.

"I'm going crazy," Sirius murmured to himself. He turned and left, making sure Snape's fire was lit and the door shut tight. He was just on the basement stairs on his way back to Moony when he finally placed Snape's upsetting face. It was the look most people got before they began to cry.


	19. Headed For A

In the morning, Sirius woke curled loosely around Remus. He blinked into the dim light of the basement and yawned. His arm ached with pins and needles. He attempted to move it, to flex his fingers and get the blood moving, but it wouldn't budge.

He sat partly up, glancing over at Remus and gazed down in sleepy surprise. Remus had his fingers twined tightly with his and had Sirius' arm around his waist. "Wake up, Moony," he whispered, flexing his fingers and grimacing as the needles prickled hot in his skin.

Remus shifted, sighing and rolled over into him. Sirius thought, surely he'll wake, but the wolf only burrowed a bit and rubbed his face into Sirius' shoulder. "Come on," he spoke a bit louder. "Don't you want to see how Snape's doing?"

Remus grumbled a bit and finally opened his eyes. "Go 'way Pads," he grumbled, still tired after last nights transformations.

"I'd love to, Remy me chum, except I seem to be stuck," Sirius chirruped, grinning wide as Remus turned a baleful eye up at him.

"What are you—"

Sirius jerked on his arm again, rocking Remus and the wolf's eyes widened in realization. It took a whole five seconds for Remus to dislodge Sirius' hand and arm and scoot away several feet to blush and stare at his feet.

"S'okay," Sirius told him, still cheerful. He flexed his arm until the feeling came back and scooted across the floor on his knees until he had sidled up to Lupin. Remus wouldn't look at him, too embarrassed, but Sirius didn't care. He actually felt amazingly good about it. He hugged Remus from behind—he couldn't do so from the front since the wolf had curled his knees to his chest to hide his face in his knees—and rocked him a bit. "That's a rather pleasant way to wake up actually," he told the wolf, pressing a dry kiss to his friend's hair as he stood.

"Come on," he held his hand down toward Lupin, waggling his fingers until Remus took his hand. He levered the slighter man up. "Time for breakfast I think."

Remus followed obediently, face flushing with a light haze of pink when he realized Sirius had not let his hand go and appeared to have no intention of doing so soon.

Sirius flexed his fingers around Remus' a light fluttering feeling in his stomach. What Snape had told him last night, and waking up to the truth of it in the morning had put him in a rare and daring mood. It felt good to hold someone's hand again. It had been many years since he had, and he had forgotten how rooted and soaring you could feel all at once with someone's fingers curled around your own. He had a feeling he wouldn't be able to leave Lupin alone all morning if he didn't get it out of his system now.

When they reached the door that led into the kitchen, the wonderful smell of cooking bacon reached their noses and Sirius felt himself drowning in saliva before they turned the corner.

"Snape, that smells— Oh! Sorry Molly," Sirius grinned, dragging Remus with him as though it were perfectly normal to be holding hands with his best friend.

"There you are," She peeked over her shoulder, doing a brief double-take before turning back to her pans, hiding a girly smile of glee. "Severus hasn't come down, yet." She turned sharply from her pan and fixed them both with a worried frown, "How did it go?"

"Fine," Remus flickered a smile, staring down at his hand folded with Sirius' where it sat prominently on the tabletop. "He didn't transform."

Molly let out a relieved sigh and smiled brightly. "Thank Merlin, Arthur will be so happy."

She went back to her meal-making with a new bounce in her step. Before too long, Molly dropped two plates in front of them mounded with food. "Eat up!" She smiled happily and hummed as she tidied up the counters.

To Lupin's surprise, Sirius still didn't let him go and ate sloppily with his left hand to compensate. The animagus would eat a few bites and then look over at him with a 'cat in the cream' smirk. Remus was perpetually flushed as he ate his meal.

"Good morning, Severus!" Molly beamed, rushing to the doorway to smooth his robes and all around mother him. Severus took it well enough, grimacing and scowling as she tugged at his clothes. "Come along, dear, you've got something here to eat as well."

Snape grumbled as he was pushed toward a chair. He sat down with a scowl and immediately caught sight of Lupin and Sirius clutching each other. His eyes narrowed, for a moment a sharp pain lanced through his stomach and he almost collapsed in on himself, thinking he had been cursed. But he knew instinctively a moment later, it had been no curse. His stomach lurched as Lupin smiled thinly and blushed.

Anger, hot and flaring ate up his stomach and burned his heart. He had hardened himself to emotion years ago, putting the romantic thought of love and affection completely from his mind. He had never had a romantic relationship in his life. He'd had sex, and lust and an occasional obsession that faded with time, but never affection. Damn Lupin for opening that particular can of worms. Someone who actually wanted to touch him for no personal gain, right… He should have known better.

Molly set his plate down gingerly, taking in his pallid face and cold, distant eyes. "You eat, Severus, you'll feel better."

He grunted, taking up his fork and picking at his breakfast.

To think he had woken that morning feeling better than he had in weeks. That should have been a sign too. Nothing ever went well for him unless something equally as horrid was coming after.

Snape refused to cow to the tentative relationship the Gryffindors were trying. He kept his back straight and looked where he liked. At one point his gaze caught Lupin's and the wolf ducked his head quickly. "Feeling better I see," He spat.

Remus stiffened, shrinking in his seat but didn't try to dislodge Sirius. The animagus had paused in chewing and shot Snape a dirty look. "Jealous?" Sirius snarled with a sick and vicious smirk on his face.

Snape felt his stomach squeeze and he set his fork down very gently. "Why would I be? I have nothing to gain from fucking either one of you." He stood up slowly, careful to push in his chair and stalk from the room.

Molly stood aghast at the sink, a sudsy plate dripping on the floor.

Remus frowned, staring at their clasped hands on the table. He touched their joined hands with his free one, something about what Severus had said left him unsettled, as though he had learned something infinitely important about Snape's life and point of view.

"What is his problem?" Sirius hissed, glaring toward the empty doorway.

Remus shrugged, carefully unclasping his hand from Sirius'. He made sure to look the animagus in the eye as he did. Sirius frowned slowly, Remus watched the hurt slowly curl in the man's face. He smiled gently, leaning forward and kissed Sirius at the corner of his lips with his heart pounding somewhere near his throat. When he leaned back into his own chair, Sirius seemed greatly appeased. "I think, Padfoot, that our Severus has had a very painful life."

Sirius nodded slowly, then blinked and stared at Remus with a start. "Our Severus?"

Lupin grinned around his fork and shrugged again.

Molly sat down across from them with a cup of tea. "What have you three been doing this last week?"

"Screwing up each others' heads and basically trying to figure out our lives in general," Remus told her. He pushed his plate away and reclined back with a small sigh. "Severus is back to normal, is all. I think we've just gotten used to him being a bit more agreeable. He's easier to take with a grain of salt when he's half out of his mind with fever."

Sirius nodded in agreement, inhaling the remains of his meal. He sat back too when finished and draped his arm across the back of Lupin's chair. It was getting far too easy to do the casual touching.

"Poor Severus," Molly clucked her tongue and sipped her coffee.

"Why did he have to put it like that anyway?" Sirius erupted suddenly into the silence.

"That's how it has been," Molly told him gently. "In case you haven't noticed Sirius, there are no suitors knocking down Severus' door. The only care he's probably gotten from anyone—or given for that matter—was likely for a reason. An advancement, a prospect," She paused and waved her hand irritably trying to think of the word she was missing.

"An order," Remus muttered, staring at the wood grain. Molly nodded sadly.

"How's that?" Sirius scratched his stubbly chin, not able to follow the conversation.

"I can only imagine what he's had to do to keep his position as spy, Sirius. I don't even dare think about it in earnest." Remus actually gagged a bit and shook his head to clear away whatever thoughts had plagued him.

"Surely he wouldn't—" Sirius paused, glancing between Molly and Remus. "I mean that's a very intimate thing to do, he couldn't just—" He stopped again, then stared at the far wall with eyes that slowly went vacant in thought. "No wonder the man's so fucked up," he finished lamely.

"Sirius," Remus admonished, though he had to agree. He may have been devoid of true affection most of his life, but at least he didn't have to use himself to further his position and to keep from being killed. He had a sudden urge to chase the Slytherin upstairs and hug him, hold him, and pet his hair.

"I think he is jealous," Sirius spoke bluntly, nodding to reaffirm what he'd said as the two other occupants of the room gave him dubious looks.

"Perhaps he is only bitter," Molly said lightly, looking shamefully into her cup.

"No," Sirius shook his head roughly and sat leaning toward Remus, lowering his voice as though he were telling a dark secret. "I think he's noticed your attention, Remy, and it's been eating at him."

The wolf took a moment to look pained and lowered his face into his hands, "And we go off parading about like it was all a joke."

"Was it?" Molly's steely voice interrupted. Both men jumped, having forgotten she was there, and stared at her in surprise. The Weasley matriarch was scowling deeply at both of them. "Remus Jonathan Lupin and Sirius Aurelius Black, have you been playing about with Severus? Have you?!?"

"No, Molly!" Remus thrust his hands at her, pale and pouting. "I would never!"

"And you, Sirius? I know you dislike Severus quite a bit, but even this is beneath you!" Molly hissed, eyes aflame.

"I have done nothing but help that acidic ass," Sirius scowled, crossing his arms over his chest in defense.

"He's right, Molly," Remus said softly, "You should have seen it actually." He smiled a little and Molly seemed to relax.

"Then whatever you've done to him, you had better make it right," She eyed them both and took a sip of her tea. "There's no reason to rub his nose in your happiness… and whatever you had done to make him hopeful, you'd better discuss it. The last thing that man needs is another reason to hate humanity and what little is good on the 'good' side."

"Are you trying to say that Snape is going to turn to Voldemort for good just because he's been burned?" Sirius scoffed, shaking his cup at her to punctuate his point.

Molly only stared at him over her mug rim, the cup set at her lips though she did not drink.

"Why not?" Remus asked him, shrugging his thin shoulders and sighing, defeated. "It's only another shove away isn't it? Our side is only using him for their own gain, just like Voldemort."

"But we aren't exactly shooting Cruciatus curses at him, are we?" Sirius scoffed.

"No," Remus shook his head mutely, "But have you ever felt your heart ground beneath someone's boot? I'm not sure which one I'd prefer."

"Remus listen to yourself!" Sirius shoved his chair back and began to pace the kitchen, a sure sign that he was more deeply disturbed than he let on. "You're talking as though, Severus Snape of all people, has fallen in love with you. I mean," He laughed roughly and waved idly toward the ceiling, "It's Snape!"

"You say it as though he is not capable of it," Molly frowned at him, displeased and disappointed at Sirius' take on the subject.

"Come on, Molly!" Sirius huffed. "It's not as though he wasn't capable of it once."

"Just not anymore?" Remus whispered.

Sirius glanced over at him and winced. The lycan looked as though someone had punched him in the stomach. "Remy—"

"Why not?" The wolf asked him, a sudden heat filling his face and he rose unsteadily from his chair. "Because he's too old? Too bitter? Too _dark?!_"

"No, Remus that isn't what I meant!"

"What did you mean then? Because Merlin knows I am all three myself!" Remus snarled, growled and stormed from the room, toppling chairs as he went.

"Son of a bitch!" Sirius shrieked, throwing one of the fallen chairs across the room.

It crashed into the wall and broke a set of plates that Molly had set down to drip-dry. The Weasley Matriarch was in the corner, eyes as wide as saucers when Sirius turned toward her. He took several calming breaths and shrank in on himself. "Thank you for breakfast, Molly. Unfortunately, it appears the good mood of the day is gone."

"You straighten this out, Sirius," She told him after coming back to her senses. "Remus and Severus are both more than deserving of love, so are you for that matter."

The animagus dropped his head, shrinking with every breath. Molly gazed curiously at him and stepped forward resting her hand on his forearm. The man looked up and she quickly hugged him, unnerved by the tears in his eyes.

"I don't know what I'm doing," he whispered hoarsely into her ear. "I've been locked up for twelve years, Molly, I don't know how to be needed anymore."

"Shush now," Molly rocked him a bit and pet his hair. "You're doing fine, Sirius, just fine. You need to let your prejudice go, if only for Remus's sake. It's quite obvious he's attached to Severus, even if it is only platonic. It hurts him when you speak so badly of him."

"I can't help that either," he shook, clutching at her for support. "I've only known hate for him, it's the only thing left that's the same. Everything else has changed."

"Change isn't always bad, Sirius. In some cases it's the only way we can survive." She hugged him tight and let him go, patted his cheek while she kissed the other and turned to gather her things. "You have to speak to them sweetheart, together or separately, it doesn't matter. Find a way to fix it."

"I know," Sirius sniffed twice and scrubbed at his eyes in embarrassment. "I know."

"You take care now," Molly smiled sadly at him. "I'll be sure to bring the kids around this weekend, alright?"

"That would be great." Sirius smiled.

The Weasley matriarch waved as she rounded the corner to the hall and left quietly.

Sirius squatted at the sink, plucking up the pieces of broken dishware with his fingers and dropping each one into the dustbin; idly wiping at his face now and then as he wept silently.

…oOo…

Remus sat on his bed, staring across the hallway at Snape's shut door wondering what the potions master was doing. In all honesty, Severus had no reason left to stay at Grimmauld place any longer and the thought left him unsettled. Especially with the apparent way they would be parting company, angry and bitter.

That was all there was to it. Remus stood with his destination in mind and stalked across the hall, rapping twice on the doorframe and let himself in without waiting for an invitation. Truthfully, he doubted he would have gotten one.

Severus' head snapped up and he glared so forcefully at the intrusion that Remus was sure his head was about to explode.

"Having a lovers spat already?" Severus snarled, snapping shut the journal in his hands and tucking it away as though he didn't want it seen.

"We aren't lovers," Remus snarled, still enraged by his conversation with Sirius to be able to take Snape's prodding calmly.

"I didn't ask," Snape huffed, shuffling about his books and belongings with obvious irritation. "What do you want?"

"Clarification."

"I have nothing to explain to you," Severus bristled.

"Not from you," Remus sat down—again uninvited—on Severus' bed. "I mean I would like to explain things to you."

"I'm not interested in what you have to say," Snape growled, now slamming his belongings onto the desktop.

"Then you can pretend to listen," Remus growled.

Severus stilled, pupils dilating as his heart rate sped.

"I don't want you to think that I… that I don't—care for you," Remus choked losing his fire and stared at the worn floorboards.

"Lupin—"

"No, Severus, let me finish," Remus swallowed twice.

"No," Severus spoke sternly. "Don't attempt to soothe my broken heart," he deadpanned, "Haven't you heard? I don't have one."

Remus frowned, heart squeezing in pity. "I don't believe you," Remus muttered.

Severus waved irritably at him, choosing to ignore the wolf in hopes that he would give up and disappear. It would make things much easier if Lupin would forget his…infatuation and go about his own business.

"How have you been feeling?"

"Confused," Remus murmured.

"No, you imbecile," Snape huffed. "The Wolfsbane, the transformation… or have you forgotten that you are sick?"

"Oh, I … right," Remus slouched, cupping his chin in his hands with his elbows propped on his knees. "Fine I guess."

"You guess," Severus sighed heavily. He scratched something down on a parchment and pinched the bridge of his nose. "There are two things that must happen, at least, before I am satisfied that you won't be having a crisis like two months ago."

"Alright," Remus sat up straighter and turned his full attention to the potions master.

"First, you must partially transform bits of yourself. It takes concentration and secure control over your other half." Severus gauged the paling of Remus' face and the slight tremor of his hands to indicate that he had understood properly. "Second, you must transform at will, at least once. It won't be easy."

"I'm not sure I follow," Remus said, shaken.

"Your hands to claws, your teeth to canines… Hell, sprout a tail!"

"I have to?" Remus whimpered.

"Yes, and not on the full moon. You must do both at will. Day or night, it doesn't matter." Severus thumbed through a thick tome, scanning the pages with deft accuracy and giving Lupin a moment to take it in.

The moment stretched into several and before long Severus grew tired of waiting for Lupin to reply. "You'd better run off to your mutt," he took a partial breath to quell the amount of venom he had accidentally laced the words with before he continued, "he's probably worried himself sick wondering where you've run off to."

"He'll be fine," Remus grumbled but stood up regardless.

Snape returned to his books and pretended to read while he watched Lupin from the corner of his eye. The wizard had not moved for the door. In fact, he was inching his way toward the desk.

Severus sighed and looked up as Remus made it to the corner and scowled at him. "I told you to—"

Remus bent at the waist and pressed his dry lips to Snape's, eyes open and hands holding Severus' head still.

Snape jerked back, wand snapping up to Lupin's throat. He panted in rage, eyes aflame as Remus looked calmly down at him. "I told you never to do that again," he spoke in an enraged whisper.

Remus pushed the wand away, catching Severus by surprise at how quickly he moved, and he dove for Snape again. He tipped his head this time, giving himself better access for a quick moment before Severus' hands found his shoulders and shoved him violently back.

Lupin's hip dug hard into the edge of the desk and the piece of furniture moved nearly a foot backward with his weight.

"You ignorant—" Severus' face was red, eyes dilated and limbs shaking.

Remus ignored the throb of his lower back and stood straight, stepping once towards Snape and pausing—feeling marginally bad when the man flinched away and snapped his mouth shut.

_He's acting like I've struck him_, Remus thought with no little remorse. Aloud, he spoke softly, his voice thick and hoarse, "That's the third time I've kissed you Severus, and each time I've meant it." Lupin's chest heaved with the effort to control his emotions and still form a coherent sentence. "I don't know what else I can do to show you; I don't know what has been done to you! But I… I'd do it again if I had half a chance."

With a stuttering step backward, the wolf gave him a defiant glare and stormed from the room.

Severus stared after him, anger, confusion and … hope, burning in his stomach. Damn the wolf again, a double damn, for stirring him up. The fool couldn't leave well enough alone. Besides, Lupin now had Black, so what was left for him anyhow but more heartache?


	20. Scarless Skin

_A/N: Okay, so I'll admit it, I really enjoy writing Snape and Black fighting. The rough and tumble type. It just seems like foreplay for them. XD Anywho…to the next chapter._

…oOo…

Sirius was staring down in to his mostly empty tea cup when Remus returned quietly to the doorway. He stood looking at Sirius, the animagus with his shoulders slumped and long hair dragging on the table. Remus cleared his throat and watched the man sit up and force a smile onto his face.

"'Allo Moony," He kicked a chair out in front of him and waved at it with his mug.

Remus walked carefully around and sat, staring at Sirius and taking the cup of tea he was offered. "Are you alright, Sirius?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" Sirius sounded cheerful enough, but he kept his face turned down to the table.

"Sirius—"

"Do you really want me, Remus?" Sirius blurted, looking up through his hair while his fingers tightened on his mug. "Because you seem to, but you take for Severus so vehemently that I wonder… am I just a replacement?"

"Never," Remus whispered. He stretched across the table and took hold of Sirius' arms. "You've been my best friend my entire life, Sirius. I love you in ways that scare me sometimes, but there could never be anyone to take your place in my life."

"Or anyone to take Snape's?" Sirius added with a shameful smile.

Remus went still and sat down heavily into his chair. He rubbed his face and shook his head. "No, Pads, and no one to take Severus's."

"Maybe I should run off and find someone myself then until you make up your mind?" Sirius snarled, jerking backward.

"No!" Remus roared, slamming his hands into the tabletop. "You're _mine_." He growled.

Sirius glared at him, angry but feeling a hot flare in his stomach at Remus' vehemence. The wolf lept halfway across the table and snared him by the collar of his t-shirt. Sirius took him by the wrists and tried to pull him off but Lupin only tightened his hold and the stitching popped. "And what about Snape?" Sirius demanded, aware that he was yelling but too shaken to care.

"You can't have him," Remus snarled.

"Because he's yours?" Sirius spat, jerking back again and feeling his shirt collar tear.

"Yesss," Remus hissed, eyes narrow. He scrabbled across the table latched on Sirius' shoulders. Sirius could tell, could see the glow of Lupin's eyes and feel his nails digging into his skin. There was very little of his Remus looking at him.

Lupin pulled himself forward, falling into Sirius' lap with a hard thump. Sirius gasped and startled as Remus snagged hold of his hair in both fists and bent his head back.

"Moony," Sirius warned, but it didn't seem to matter.

The wolf growled softly and bit Sirius' lower lip until it bled. Sirius hissed but didn't dare move for fear his lip would be bitten off.

"Lupin!" The word echoed harshly through the kitchen, making Sirius jump and thankfully Remus released his abused lip.

Severus was in the kitchen door with his wand pointed steadily at Lupin's head.

"Severus," Remus whispered, blood trailing down his lips. He blinked and the haze cleared from his eyes. He frowned and wiped at his mouth, staring in horror at the crimson that stained his palm. "Wha-?"

"Get off of Sirius," Severus muttered, flicking his wand to the left twice.

Remus stood, shaking, and stared down at Sirius. The animagus was sprawled backward in the chair, shirt ruined and blood pumping down his chin and staining his collar.

"Pads?" Remus hiccoughed, reaching down toward the man but Severus took a large step into the kitchen.

"Don't," He growled. "Go to the sink."

Remus stumbled over himself as he went, clutching the porcelain for support.

Severus stood over Black's chair and glanced down at him. "Are you alright?"

Sirius cleared his throat and touched his swollen lip as he sat up. "I—yea," he glanced over at Remus and stood from the chair.

Remus was sobbing at the sink, scrubbing soapy water across his lips and rinsing his mouth. Sirius touched his shoulder and Lupin practically sagged to the floor to avoid his touch.

"Moony," Sirius said carefully, wincing as his lip pulled and throbbed. The lycan curled in on himself, chanting a soft litany of apology.

Sirius sank to the floor next to him and hauled him into his lap, holding tight as Remus struggled to get away, and rocked them both. He glanced up at Severus and motioned him forward with a finger.

Severus scowled and tucked his wand away as he came forward. He stopped as his robes brushed against Sirius' side and waited.

The animagus took a handful of the dark material and pulled sharply downward until Severus sat on the floor with a thump. Sirius pulled him toward them with another tug and curled his hand around the potions master's shoulder.

Remus seemed completely oblivious to what was happening. He was having a breakdown like no other.

"What do you want?" Severus grumbled, highly annoyed that he was dirtying his clean robes with the floor.

"Not me," Sirius muttered. He pawed Severus forward until he was snugged up against Lupin's back and he couldn't escape once Sirius locked his arms around both men and continued to rock. Squished together as they were, Sirius stared at Severus with his chin on Lupin's shoulder. "He needs you too."

Severus grumbled quietly and frowned as Remus shifted between them, one arm wrapping around Sirius' waist, and the other about his. The wolf hugged them both, drawing the three of them together and Snape nearly had his head cracked against Sirius' skull.

The animagus continued to stare at him, tonguing the split in his lip idly now and then as Remus sobbed dryly between them.

Snape loosed an arm where it was trapped beneath Sirius' tight hold and rubbed his thumb and forefinger together until warmth spread in his fingertip. He touched Sirius' lip and slowly ran his finger across and back, ignoring the surprise on Sirius' face.

_Better_, he thought, dropping his hand back to his lap as Sirius ran his tongue where the gash had been. Severus had healed it with just a touch.

"Thank you," Sirius mumbled, awed at the odd show of concern and bit of wandless magic.

"Better than watching you milk it," Severus sneered.

"I'm sorry," Remus whispered, straightening up between them. His eyes were puffy and he finally seemed to realize that he was sandwiched between Sirius and Snape.

"I don't know how many times I have to remind you," Severus drawled, "but it seems your head is too thick for the information to sink in." He cocked an eyebrow and attempted to dislodge himself from the uncomfortable contact.

Sirius didn't appear to think it a good idea and tightened his hold until the bones of his wrists dug into Severus' spine.

"Being ill is not an excuse," Remus grumbled, scrubbing at his eyes.

"Then do something about it," Severus huffed, glaring at Sirius and silently demanding to be let go.

Sirius grinned cheekily and steadfastly refused. "Now that we're all better, eh, it's time to start up your therapy again."

"Therapy," Remus sighed heavily, "you make it sound like I'm crazy."

Severus opened his mouth to say something smart and Sirius drove his finger into the man's back to shut him up. The potions master glared and threatened to bite him with a gnash of his teeth. "Let me up off of this bloody floor!"

Sirius released him with a sharp look and Severus stood and stepped backward immediately putting distance between them. He shook his robes and sneered at the dirt that had imbedded into his seat.

"Does anyone mind if I go lay down?" Remus asked softly, standing up himself and stretching out his cramping legs.

"Of course not," Sirius smiled easily at him, levering himself up and dusting off the back of his pants.

Remus nodded, unable to look at either man and walked awkwardly to the stairs.

"Moony," Sirius called to him, quick stepping to catch up as the wolf paused. "Sweet sleep, alright? No worries." Remus nodded and started up the stairs. Sirius snagged a hold of his worn shirt cuff and spun him about. He smiled and kissed Remus quickly, licked his lips and did it again. Remus was blushing and smiling at his feet. "There, see? That's a better way to do it," Sirius joked lamely.

"I'll remember that," Remus laughed and turned back up the stairs.

Sirius practically glided into the kitchen, running face-first into Snape's chest.

"Watch where you're going mutt," Severus growled.

"Wait a minute," Sirius snagged hold of his robe. "I've got to speak to you."

Severus narrowed his eyes but reluctantly turned around, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. "Then speak."

"Remus, he's…" Sirius sat down heavily into his chair and took a sip of his tea, grimacing at how bitter and cold it had gotten.

"He's what, Black? Got the mange? Has a tick? Is an idiot? Do tell…"

"No," Sirius snapped. "He thinks he's in love with me."

A cold stone dropped into Severus' stomach. He nodded stiffly. "What does that have to do with me?" He asked a little huskier than he wanted.

"He thinks he's in love with you too," Sirius smiled grimly at him.

Severus snorted and rolled his eyes heavenward.

"I mean it," Sirius told him. "That's what we were spatting about before… before he bit me." The animagus furrowed his brow in thought.

"Don't be an idiot," Severus sneered. He didn't want to hear any of this. Things did not need complication when they were already fucked up beyond repair.

"Listen, I asked him if I was some kind of replacement because you didn't want him," Severus nearly choked and managed to keep himself composed as Black continued, "But he assured me that I wasn't. That's kind of when he started getting pulled into his wolf. He was serious, deadly serious. Then when I asked him about you he growled at me and said I couldn't have you. That you were his." Sirius stopped and looked up at Severus.

The blood had drained from Snape's face and he glared at Sirius as though the man were lying. "He's confused. He's confusing comfort with something deeper. He'll get over it once he's past his illness."

Sirius didn't appear convinced, and there was a knowing glint in his eye that made Severus increasingly uncomfortable.

"You told me last night that you didn't understand why… You've known for some time, haven't you? Known that he's wanted you and me. Why didn't you say something sooner?"

Severus dragged his hands through his hair and sat down heavily at the end of the table. "It'll pass, it's bound to."

"That isn't what I asked," Sirius scowled.

Snape sneered at him and set his curled fists onto the tabletop. "I could smell it."

"I beg your pardon," Sirius stuttered.

"You heard me," Severus spat. "I could smell the desire he has for you, rolling off of him like heat."

"Well that's—I – That could just be physical," Sirius sputtered. He narrowed his gaze at Severus, trying to catch the sarcasm or humor he must have missed. Severus looked too disgusted to be joking. "Then explain to me why he's been mooning over you these last couple of weeks?"

"Obligation," Severus spat, standing abruptly and stalking out.

Sirius huffed and jerked out of his seat to follow, swearing as he knocked over his chair and tripped over it. Snape was nowhere to be seen when he hit the hallway. "Snape?! I'm not done with you!"

There was a growl from the second floor and the slam of a door. Sirius grinned to himself and took the stairs two at a time to reach the landing.

He reached for Snape's doorknob and jerked his hand back as a crack of electricity rippled up his arm. "Dammit Snape! You could have killed me!"

"I'm not that _lucky,_" Severus yelled from the other side of the door, the bang of a chair accenting his point.

Sirius groped in his pocket for several minutes before finally getting his wand out and ripping a hole in his favorite lounge jeans. He pointed his wand at the door and snarled a counter-curse strong enough to melt the door handle.

He kicked the door open and stormed into Snape's room, kicking it shut again for good measure.

Severus had his wand pointed at him, lips curled into the start of a hex just as Sirius came to a skidding halt in the room.

The animagus feinted to the right and dove at the dark wizard, taking him at the stomach and knocking Severus onto his ass. Both of their wands flew in separate directions; Sirius cracked his elbow on the stand and knocked the wind out of Severus when he landed on his chest.

Sirius sat up on Snape's stomach, rubbing at his elbow with a hiss and glared down at the man he sat on.

Severus was struggling for breath, face pale and eyes on fire. He curled one fist into Sirius' hair, a great ball of black silk clenched tight. Sirius grunted, and tried to pry his fingers free, but Snape had an iron grip.

"Leggo," he whimpered, scrunching up his face as Snape gave a stern jerk.

"You," Severus gasped, scowling up at the animagus. He struggled to sit up and Sirius grinned and held him down. "Get off!"

Sirius yelped as Snape gave a vicious yank to his hair. He bent sideways but refused to budge. "Ow! Dammit Snape, just listen to me! Remus has more than a fleeting fancy for you, I _know _it. I've _seen_ it."

"I wouldn't trust your sight," Severus spat, "since most of the time you see in monochrome."

"Even as _students_," Sirius spoke over him, grunting as Snape shook his fist in irritation, "he saw your humanity. Even then. Of course he didn't exactly want to nibble on you then… but maybe he did, I don't know for sure…" Sirius trailed off, eyes vacant and tilting his head as far as Snape's hold would allow.

"Liar," Severus muttered, but the venom of his voice and the set of his face had both softened—unfortunately for Sirius, his grasp did not. "I've never had humanity."

"Now who's lying," Sirius whispered. He frowned at Snape's, masked, closed-off face. It was last night, only a few hours ago, that he'd seen the man being open and awed, feeling his mortality, probably for the first time in many years.

"Stop that," Severus mumbled, trying suddenly to disentangle his fingers from Black's hair.

"What?" Sirius muttered, helping Snape with his chore and flailing as the potions master bucked beneath him, renewing his struggle to get up. Sirius clamped his knees and grabbed hold of Severus' hair and leaned over him to keep balance.

Snape's eyes widened a fraction at the proximity of Sirius' face. "Stop acting like a child and let me up."

"I don't think so," Sirius grinned. He leaned further, pinning Severus completely to the floor. "I've finally got you where I want you."

For a reason Sirius could never fathom, Snape paled further until his skin was nearly transparent. The potions master shuddered and he lunged.

"Get off! Get off of me! Don't touch me!" Severus shrieked. A layer of magic crackled on Snape's skin and Sirius was thrown backward, left to gape as Snape pushed himself upright and staggered to the far corner where he shook and wretched dryly.

"Snape, calm down alright?" Sirius kept his hands up and palms flat. Severus was hyperventilating against the wall, eyes distant and hands griping his robes tightly shut.

Sirius tip-toed forward and flinched whenever Snape snarled and lashed at him. "Easy," he muttered as though shushing an irritable hippogriff.

Severus twitched and cast a cold eye at him. "Stay away from me," he hissed.

"Snape," Sirius coaxed, "just calm down. It's me, I know you don't like me, but I'm not about to hurt you alright? Right." Sirius muttered. He inched forward again, fingers just brushing against Snape's robes. Severus jerked backward, but with nowhere to go he knocked his head against the wall and hissed as he sank down to the floor. "You alright?"

Severus stiffened and looked up through his hair to see Sirius hovering, torn between crouching and jumping backward. "Black?"

The animagus let out a deep sigh of relief and sank to the floor beside him. "What the hell was that?"

Severus didn't say a word, but stared at the animagus with obvious relief.

Sirius was worried for that reason alone. And as he continued to watch, the man's face pinched in pain… a look he remembered from the night. _Sweet Merlin, Snape isn't about to—_

The potions master pushed him away, standing up too quickly and nearly falling on his ass again, but managed to stay upright and run into his bathroom in time to fall to his knees and vomit.

The man heaved and coughed, forehead resting on his forearms. When he finally fell silent, and still did not move, Sirius dared to walk into the bathroom and leaned on his hip against the sink. He filled the cup on the counter with water and held it out toward the sitting wizard on the floor.

Severus held his hand out for it without looking. Sirius snuffed and passed it to him. Snape gargled and spat twice before tossing the cup back toward the sink and Sirius. The animagus juggled the cup a moment before it fell to the sink with a clatter.

The potions master shifted and leaned against the tub, glaring up at Sirius for his gall to see him in a moment of weakness. "Why can't you just leave it be?"

"Because it's Remus," Sirius shrugged and smiled slightly. "I could never refuse him anything."

"Even if that anything is me?" Severus sneered.

"Even that," Sirius bit back. He crossed his arms over his chest in defiance.

"Liar…" Severus smirked. "You want him, and you would sooner kill me than let him have me."

"Of course I wouldn't! I'm the one that told him to go to you!" Sirius barked.

Severus' face shuttered and his teeth clacked as he snapped his jaws tight.

Sirius slapped himself in the forehead and ran his hand down his face. "I didn't mean it like that for Christ's sake."

The potions master climbed to his feet and jerked his robes straight. "I don't care what you believe you meant!"

Sirius growled and stepped forward until he bumped Severus with his chest. "Don't tell me what I think, Snape!"

"Stop acting like a child," Severus hissed. He snarled as Sirius bumped him again and gripped him by his shirt.

"I have half a mind to—" Sirius barked, he jerked back away from Snape and felt his shirt finally tear. Between Remus' earlier manhandling and their wrestling match only minutes ago the stitching couldn't take any more.

The release of resistance made Severus stumble and he flailed with a chunk of tee shirt clenched in his fist as he fell toward the floor.

Sirius lunged forward and snagged him by the arm before he could hit and the potions master glared at him and snatched his arm back as soon as he was back on his feet. He huffed through his nose and pursed his lips. "Thank you," he muttered with no little sarcasm as he passed the swath of cloth back.

The animagus held the patch up where the hole was and sighed before yanking the whole ruined thing from his back and threw it errantly into the garbage can by the toilet. "There goes another… at this rate I'll have to borrow money from Remus to get some shirts."

He grinned at Snape but the man wasn't smiling. Severus was staring intently at Sirius' chest with a strange look of anger and muted awe.

"Like what you see?" Sirius smirked, hoping to get a rise out of Snape and break the hanging uncomfortable air between them.

Severus didn't bite but he did look up at Sirius' face and frowned gently. "How did you manage it?"

Sirius' eyes widened and he looked down at himself, curious. "What are you talking about?"

"Turn around," Severus demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

Too perplexed by Snape to do otherwise, Sirius turned around and looked at the wizard over his shoulder. "What _is it?!"_

Snape lowered his arms and reached forward, stopping himself and forcing his hand to his side to still.

"Snape?"

"You've survived one war with Voldemort, spent 12 years in Azkaban and who knows how long running with the wolf… how could you survive without a single scar?" Severus asked softly.

Sirius ran his hands across his stomach and frowned. He had never realized. It didn't really make sense that he had no scars, but hell, even if he had one or two, compared to Snape and Remus it would still seem as if he hadn't. Those two were riddled from head to foot.

"I don't know," Sirius answered honestly. "I wasn't beaten in Azkaban, just left to myself mostly." The animagus' eyes drew distant and clouded over.

Severus grunted, he could probably imagine the hell of it. He had seen enough hell—and survived it—to believe the worst. But Sirius' flawless back was inspired. Maybe it had just been too long since he had seen anyone in a state of undress without the telltale marks of war. Even Potter, young as the poor fool was, had more than his fair share.

Snape was irritated that it had to be Sirius Black of all people to be left unmarred. He had wished ungainly hell on the man, and he had received it, but without any physical scars to show. Quite honestly, he had only ever wanted the beautiful man beat brainless and ugly, at least then he could be vindicated for being called greasy and ugly from the, then boy, for calling him every form of derogatory phrase he could think of.

And he had survived his hell unscathed.

"It's not fair," Severus snarled to himself. He pressed his fingertips to Sirius' back and drew them across the warm, tanned flesh there, irritated and envious. Sirius came out of his memories with the cold fingertips drawing strange patters on his back. Gooseflesh rippled across his arms and he turned his head slowly so he could stare in disbelief at his once hated enemy.

Severus was apparently in his own head and didn't notice.

"You could mark it if it would make you feel better," Sirius quipped, unsettled and joking hoping to draw Snape back out of his head. "I know you must want to."

"No," Snape gaped, half in horror. He drew his hand back as if burned when he realized he was still stroking across Sirius' skin. "It should never be marred. Least of all by the hand of an ally."

"An ally," Sirius grinned, backing away and turning, feeling suddenly naked in Snape's bathroom.

Severus frowned and pushed past Sirius into the main room. He sat down at his desk and began to thumb through a tome and tapped excess ink from his quill.

"If you're quite through, Black, I have things to settle before my return to Hogwart's." Snape's voice was back to being cold, his gaze like daggers. Sirius realized that he had overstepped his bounds again. Obviously Snape did not take to his kidding very well.

"Alright," Sirius nodded, making his way to the busted door. "Think about what I said, Severus, Remus cares for you, don't make him regret it."

The potions master glared at him until he finally frowned and shut the door behind him.

Snape set his quill down and drew his robes tightly about him. He was far more confused since Black had chased him down than he was before. And the damned animagus had used his given name. It had sounded almost… nice.


	21. Helpless Hope

A/N: I know many of you are still frustrated at the pace. I want to remind those that may have forgotten (if it helps anyway) that I'd written at least half of this story before I began posting, and that was well over two years ago. I do apologize if it seems to be dragging. So, in an attempt to help you vent some frustration, I bring a new chapter early! And to tell you that, YES dammit, there is progress, I promise. There are a few more Snape/Sirius rough bouts that lead to … other rough bouts coming soon. And our first snoggage between everyone! So… thank you for your honesty and continued reading. I hope that you aren't so disappointed you leave the story altogether.

--

Remus rolled over in his bed and nearly fell out of it as his eyes cracked open to see a dark figure in his chair.

Severus sat quietly, a book open in his lap though he was not looking at it. He was gazing out of the window, his palm flat on the page as though holding his spot as he ruminated. He didn't realize he was being watched, too busy in his head.

Remus thought it would be possible to lay there and watch him for quite some time. His face was soft and smooth, not set and lined from a scowl.

"You should be sleeping, Lupin." Severus didn't glance from the window, didn't even so much as blink.

"I thought I'd wake up just to irritate you," Remus murmured with a small grin. To his pleasant surprise Severus smiled at him, very slight but his face was still soft and it reached his eyes. "Are you feeling alright?"

Snape nodded lightly and turned from the window, glancing at Remus and then back down to his book. He didn't speak again, only read quietly as Remus watched him. It was comforting and brought a lazy smile to Lupin's face.

"Where's Sirius?"

"Licking himself somewhere most likely," Severus said mildly, the small smile still tipping his lips.

"Severus!" Remus gaped, laughing into his pillow and rolling onto his stomach with a groan. He sat up and noticed that Snape dropped his book back to his lap and looked at him. "What time is it?"

"Late afternoon," Severus told him, closing the text and setting it into the seat beside him. "Are you hungry?"

"A little," Remus admitted, staring toward Snape with confusion. The wizard was being entirely too agreeable.

"Come on then," Severus stood, cinching up his robe and waiting patiently at the door as Lupin rolled out of bed and onto his feet.

Remus walked beside Snape down the stairs, the potions master keeping a decidedly slower pace than usual.

Snape pulled a chair out at the table once they reached the kitchen and gazed expectantly at Lupin. With a stuttering step, Remus eventually walked across to the table and sat down, eyes wide as Severus slid him to the table and walked to the stove.

"Would you prefer something light, or can your stomach handle something heavier?"

"Something light… er, please," Remus muttered. Snape nodded and he watched as Severus moved with ease around the kitchen, sliding pans and chopping herbs with speed and agility. Before long, delicious smells wafted from the pans and Remus felt saliva puddle in his mouth.

Severus slid his meal onto a plate and set it in front of him. Remus took a bite and rolled his eyes heavenward. Snape set a glass of water in front of him and sat down across the table.

"This is delicious," Remus praised. A lovely omelet with basil and tomato, the lightest he had every touched.

Snape snorted and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched Remus eat. "Did you think a potions master wouldn't know how to cook?"

Remus paused and grinned, "I've never really thought about it."

So Remus ate quickly, grunting in satisfaction now and then. When he finished he set his fork in his plate and leaned back to look at Severus. The dark wizard was still watching him, face relaxed and unreadable. "If I had meals like that every day, I'd be fat in a week."

Snape raised an eyebrow, "I'll be sure to care-package to you while I'm gone then. You're far too thin."

Remus flushed in embarrassment and looked down at his empty plate.

"It's not something to be ashamed of Lupin," Snape interrupted. "It's nothing regular meals won't fix."

"You're being awfully…" Remus frowned, searching for the right word.

"Uncharacteristic?" Severus sneered.

"Something like that," Lupin admitted, he wrapped his fingers around his glass and stared at the warming water.

"Perhaps it is entirely characteristic of me, and what you know is a lie."

Remus felt his eyes widen and he glanced up at Snape. The man was smirking and he knew he was lying. Lupin tried to puzzle it all out and could only come up with one conclusion. "I'm not dying or anything am I?"

Severus laughed once, a bark that startled Remus. "No, Lupin. No more than normal at any rate."

The lycan grinned and relaxed marginally, searching Snape's face at his leisure.

"Lupin," Severus said softly, lacing his fingers together beneath his chin, "I need to understand something and you have to understand that it is… extremely difficult for me to ask."

Remus sat straight, chest tight and nodded.

"What do you see when you look at me?" Severus kept his gaze tight, fixed on Lupin's though a twitch at the corner of his mouth told an enormity of the trouble he had asking such a question.

Remus smiled lightly, "I see… an intense, dark man; trained from birth to be a dark wizard, the helper of all evil. I see a man who hasn't taken care of himself for some time, too thin, unkempt and too hard skinned for friends."

Severus' face shuttered and his steady gaze fell to the table. Lupin felt his stomach clench, he had actually hurt Severus, and the potions master had let him see.

"What I know," he continued softly, "is that what you see is often a lie. I know that you are a dark man, struggling to hang onto the light, the largest aid for good; and you do it without gaining any acknowledgment. I know that you don't take care of yourself because you don't have the time, and you think no one cares enough about you to make you."

A small, sour smile curled Snape's face and he returned his intense dark gaze to Lupin's. Hurt could still be found there, but it had been soothed well with Remus' words.

"Why?"

Snape blinked at him in mild surprise. "I need to be sure of what you really intend." The potions master stood slowly, clearing away the table with no hurry.

"I'm not sure I understand." Remus watched the man's back as he moved around the kitchen, wishing that he knew what was going on.

"It was important to know if you were deluded into some iconic idea of what I am," Severus paused and turned slightly so that he could look at Remus beyond his shoulder. "I am pleasantly surprised that you are not."

"What does that have to do with my supposed intent…" Remus trailed off, fingers running along the grooves of the tabletop on their own accord.

"That, Lupin," Severus stilled and turned completely toward him, "is entirely up to you."

"What is that smell?!" Sirius stumbled into the kitchen, breaking the nervous tension that had filled the room. He sniffed at the air and all but pushed Severus out of his way to get to the pans.

"Curb your animalistic diatribe you imbecile," Snape growled, pushing Sirius away from the pan. Sirius grumbled but complied surprisingly easily. Remus looked between the two men and found a lingering tension that he had no clue about.

Severus rooted in the cupboard and withdrew a clean plate, dumping the remains of Lupin's lunch from the pan into it. He dropped it unceremoniously in front of Sirius and tossed a fork toward him. Sirius looked surprised but didn't refrain from delving in. "I assumed you'd drag your carcass down here once you got upwind of my cooking."

Sirius stuck his tongue out at the man and grumbled—though he did not deny Severus' statement and continued to shovel food into his face.

The sudden smell of brimstone filled the kitchen moments before a brilliant burst of flame blinded the three of them. Fawkes trilled pleasantly and landed on the back of a nearby chair, eyeing Sirius' plate with interest. The animagus curled his free arm around it and growled at the phoenix. The crimson bird rolled its eyes and hopped about until it faced Severus.

"Am I to presume you are what the Headmaster has sent to assist me with my belongings?" Severus deadpanned.

The bird whistled low and took to flight again, disappearing into the hall and up the stairs. Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and grumbled quietly before stalking from the room to save his more precious items from the bird's enthusiastic claws.

Silence remained in the kitchen as Sirius ate and Remus ruminated on what it was _exactly_ that had happened. After a time, they could hear Severus talking quite heatedly to Fawkes and the occasional bump from upstairs.

"Has something happened to Severus since I've been asleep?" Remus asked innocently.

Sirius nearly choked on his meal and pounded his chest as his eyes watered. "Excuse me?"

"He's being very pleasant, and surprisingly open… Did you say something to him?" The weight of Remus' gaze shifted and he now stared at Sirius with open accusation.

"I told him some things, yea…" Sirius shrugged and picked at his plate. "Why? What has he said?"

"He wanted to know what I thought of him," Lupin ran his thumb back and forth across his lips as he thought. "He said it was important for him to know. Then something about what I intend, though I don't know what he could be talking about."

Sirius slowly set his fork down and stared Remus plainly in the face. "Moony, I think the man's trying to persuade himself about your feelings toward him. Maybe he's actually considering it."

Remus' eyes widened until Sirius thought surely they would fall out of his head. "What did you say to him?" He whispered, his voice choked but tainted with awe.

"The truth," Sirius smiled wryly. "That you care for him, and that he's a git if he thinks differently."

"Sirius, this morning—"

"Was lovely," Sirius swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat, "But I know that you don't want me Remus, and I'm willing to support you with this. With him." The animagus nearly choked on the last word and fixed Lupin with a level gaze.

Remus was torn between elation and remorse. He had only just had a taste of an easy, happy life with Sirius Black only hours ago, and already it was gone. He could never have an easy relationship with Severus, it would always be an uphill struggle. The two of them had too many scars—not only physical—that would keep them both second guessing. But it would be deep and solid if they could manage to overcome their pasts. He didn't know what he wanted, and it seemed Sirius had made his mind up for him yet again.

"Sirius, you're a fool," He whispered as he stood from his chair.

The animagus did the same and reached out a hand to touch him but Remus stepped backward. "Moony…"

"No, Sirius!" Remus snapped he stalked to the entrance and spun on his heel to stare hurt-felt at his friend. "I wanted you both, and I know that's selfish and wrong but it was my choice to make! Not yours."

Sirius growled and hurled his plate across the room as Remus stomped up the stairs.

"Dammit Remus! STOP—" Sirius lost his energy and sank to his seat, dropped his head to his hands, "stop fucking with me," he whispered.

…oOo…

Remus burst into Snape's room, barely noticing that the man had no doorknob and nearly tripped over a pile of books in the middle of the floor.

Severus looked irritated, snatching things from Fawkes' reach and cast a cool look toward him. "What is it?"

"What did Sirius tell you?" Remus demanded, hands twitching to grab hold of anything so that he could break it from sheer frustration.

The potions master carefully lay down the book in his hands and shut down, Remus could pinpoint the exact moment the man thought he had been fooled. The color fled his face and then raced back to his cheekbones in stark, angry red.

"Lies, apparently," Severus grit through his teeth.

Remus struggled through the mess on the floor and nearly had to leap across the desk to get a hold of the potions master as he tried valiantly to flee to the bathroom. He nearly tackled them both to the ground, but managed to maintain standing. He held tightly to Snape's waist and shook his head vehemently. "He didn't lie, he didn't."

Snape's tense, pinched face slowly went placid and he stared down at Lupin with confusion.

"Is it part of what's wrong with me? Something that the wolf is creating? Tell me, can I fix it, because I can't take it anymore, I'll do whatever you tell me just make it stop!" Remus hyperventilated and clung to Snape's robes.

Severus shook him free and sat him down at the desk. "What are you blathering about?" He snapped.

"How can I want you both?" Remus ground out, eyes nearing tears and face aflame. "It's not natural… am I a bigger freak than I thought? Some… some incubus, flesh obsessed creature that wants to bed two of the men that mean the most to me and then when the full moon comes about, tear out their throats and wade about in their blood?"

And he broke down.

Severus was aghast, unsure of what could be done, or even what it was exactly that he had just witnessed. He had tried, very carefully and precisely to get Lupin's true reaction that afternoon. He wanted to show the pale, greying man that he could court properly. But this… this wasn't what he had expected from his exertion.

The lycan could barely hear past the blood pounding in his ears or the whoosh of air from his lungs. He tried harder though when Snape's face was suddenly bobbing in front of him and the man forced his face up. Long, potion stained fingers were wiping the tear trails from his cheeks.

"Lupin," Severus started but paused and started again. "Remus, did you hear what you've just said?"

He shook his head, pinned as it was between Snape's palms.

"You've answered your own questions you fool." The barb didn't sting, and unless Remus was fooling himself he could have sworn it was a little endearing. "Black was one of the first people to look upon you for what you are and not shy away. He's been your friend for years and has never shown you false loyalty. That's why you love him, isn't it? That's why you want him, and it isn't unnatural to want someone that makes you feel human."

In that moment, Remus hiccoughed and could have sworn on a stack of bibles that he would never adore Severus more than at this very second in his life. Snape began to draw back, eyes shuttered even though he had spoken with a soft, whiskey sweet voice to soothe him.

Remus clutched at his hands before he could retreat and dragged him forward, not realizing he had been using unnatural strength to do so, and held Snape tight against him. He pressed his face to Severus' neck and ran one hand through the man's hair—still so soft, even if it was greasy—and muttered into his neck.

"What about you, Severus?"

"I don't know," the potions master admitted quietly, stiff in Lupin's embrace. "I have done very little to gain such trust from you."

"You've never changed," Remus whispered, lips grazing Snape's neck and he licked his lips unconsciously and tasted the man he clung to. "Despite what I am, and how badly you were treated by my friends, you took it upon yourself to help me. No one has done something that selfless for me after my mother died."

"Albus—"

"Did not insist on your help," Remus interrupted, running his fingers in slow circles across Severus' tense shoulders. "I asked him once to let you stop, not to force you to do something to make you hate me more."

"I pitied you, that is hardly a good reason to grant someone your affection," Severus told him plainly.

"Probably, but it's the best I've got." Remus admitted, surprised that it didn't hurt like he thought it should have.

The admission twisted something painfully in Severus' gut, however. Those freshly dug emotions were going to drive him crazy. Tentatively he raised his arms up and loosely curled them around Lupin's back. The wizard tensed very slightly before relaxing in Snape's hold.

They stood that way for a minute, Severus attempting to adjust to the feeling of holding someone for the first time in many years.

"Severus, may I ask a personal question?" Remus muttered, elated to feel the solid being in front of him and the steady rhythm of his heart. "You don't have to answer it of course." Severus merely grunted and Lupin took it as an affirmative. "You were never touched as a child, like this I mean, or anything else gentle?" The wolf's voice was very soft, afraid of what can of worms he could be opening.

Severus was ready to deny it, tell the wizard it was none of his business and throw him out but it would have been highly counterproductive to what he was trying to accomplish. "No," he croaked and didn't elaborate.

Remus nodded against his neck and squeezed a bit tighter.

A shifting of shadows in the hall made him glance past Snape's shoulder and he saw Sirius there, looking hurt and confused. The emotion of the day. Remus carefully waved him in, trying to tell the animagus with his eyes that he was sorry. It appeared to have been marginally successful.

Sirius entered carefully, staring at the two of them.

Remus waved him again, opening and closing his fist and sending him piteous looks. Sirius knew what he wanted, but wasn't sure if he could, or if it would even be a good idea.

As he always did, Remus won him over and the animagus closed the distance and very carefully folded himself around Snape's back, fingers clasping Remus' shirt.

The potions master jerked and Remus could feel his pulse quicken.

"It's just me, Snape," Sirius muttered, shifting to set his chin on the man's shoulder.

And for some reason Remus did not know, the dark wizard relaxed between them.

It was only a moment they stood as one collective before Severus cleared his throat and spoke with a raspy voice, "If you are both quite finished, I have to finish packing."

Sirius backed away immediately, eyeing Severus openly and then turning his gaze to Moony.

Remus drew away with a bit of reluctance, smiling a bit at his feet.

Snape ignored the both of them and packed his things, horrified to feel the heat in his cheeks from his embarrassment and even more humiliated that he would have preferred to return to the odd hug if they had thought to ask him just then.

Merlin's beard, he was turning into a soppy woman.

…oOo…

The night was eerily quiet with Severus out of the house. Who would have believed it could be? Severus was quiet and secluded during his stay as well. But the air in Grimmauld place held a different tension, a stillness that brought back the suffocation of the place.

Remus sat in the den, a book in his lap that he intended to read but hadn't the energy to open. Sirius was off somewhere sulking, over what Remus had no idea. It seemed the animagus was being far more reflective than normal since Snape's abrupt departure hanging tightly to the tail feathers of Fawkes.

Then again, none of them were exactly talkative after the awkward hug.

Far above on the third floor, Remus could hear a softly muffled thump. He looked up at the ceiling, wondering what Sirius was doing up there.

He slid the book off of his lap and left it on the chair. He wasn't reading it anyway.

Remus was puffing through the dusty air by the time he climbed the flights to the third floor landing. There were footprints in the dust that led down the hallway. He followed Sirius' distinctive steps to what appeared to be an old study. The door was still open and Sirius was bent over a large chest, taking objects out and letting some fall from his hands to the unforgiving floor, while others he set carefully in a relatively neat pile to his left.

Remus watched him with mild content from the doorway. The animagus didn't look enthralled with his task, but he did look intent on whatever he was looking for… if he was in fact looking for anything. The lycan tapped on the doorframe and walked forward.

"What are you looking for?" He asked quietly.

Sirius shrugged and rifled through a stack of papers before dropping them in the pile of junk. "Nothing really. Just scrounging."

Remus sat down in the dirt and thumbed through the pile of things Sirius apparently wanted to keep.

There were a few off pieces of bent jewelry—oddly enough they all had the Black family crest embossed on them somewhere, some old photographs of his brother Regulus when they were children. One in particular made Remus depressed. There was a scorch mark that burnt out a near third of the photo. Regulus had his arm about someone's shoulders and looked over with a friendly smirk where the other person should have been. A disembodied arm curled around Regulus' waist and the handsome, elder Black heir laughed outright. Remus knew without asking that the gaping hole was where Sirius had been.

"Hey Moony, look at this," Sirius was not smiling as he passed over a sizeable photograph. In it stood the four Marauders in various disheveled states and grinning like fools. The lake stretched out behind them and now and then a tentacle would rise from the surface and flicker across the parchment.

"My God, I never realized how much Harry does look like James," Remus smiled fondly and looked up at Sirius. The animagus still wasn't smiling. "What's the matter?"

Sirius took the photo back and held it up in front of him and scooted over so that he sat beside Remus. "Look here," he pointed with one finger. In the background, Remus could just make out Snape sitting beneath a tree at the edge of the lake.

"Wha-" Remus started, but paused as two other figures appeared from around the oak. One pushed Snape to his side, sending the book in his hands flying into the lake, the other kicked him so viciously in the stomach that Severus actually came up off of the ground and landed on his elbows. A fierce roll of anger and protection rolled across Remus like a heat wave. He growled softly and peered over at Sirius. "How did you find that?"

The animagus shrugged rather stiffly, the red tinge of his cheeks and neck showing his own hidden anger. "I must have looked at that picture hundreds of times when we were students. I even managed to hide it from my mother and keep it intact. I never once saw that particular offense until just now."

Remus took the photo back and squinted closer, swallowing bile as he watched the two creep from behind the tree again and again. "Are those Slytherins?" Remus' eyes widened and he passed the photo back.

Sirius took his turn squinting and nodded his head slowly. "I think you're right."

"Why do we keep finding things like this now?" Sirius grumbled, dropping the photo back to the left and burying his head and shoulders back into the chest.

"Because now we actually see Severus, and not just the poster-boy for dark, evil Slytherin's." Remus muttered.

"Maybe," Sirius muttered from inside the chest.

Remus sulked for a few minutes longer before his curiosity got the better of him. He was soon on his knees with his own head and shoulders jammed into the chest next to Sirius. The animagus' hair hung mostly in the way, but there is always a unique fascination when looking at old belongings you haven't seen for years.

They giggled like boys over simple things and memories that were brought up with them. They'd spent much of an hour pulling randomness from the box and deciding whether or not it was worth keeping.

Ironically, the pile of throw-away items were things that might actually be worth money on some, not-so-legal markets and the pile of keepers were complete garbage with no other purpose than to stimulate memories of people long since dead.

"Sirius Black!" Remus gaped after a time. He laughed as he came up out of the box, face pink and eyes humored and accusing. "Just where did you get this?" The pale man held a slim studded collar in his hand with a thin metal loop and heavy buckle.

Sirius colored brightly and snatched it, "I don't remember."

"Liar," Remus crowed, tackling Sirius and struggling to get a hold of the forbidden item. Even with his considerable strength, Remus acquiesced to Sirius and sat back on his heels laughing. "Go on then, put it on."

"I will not," Sirius pouted, clenching the collar in his fist.

"Tell me who gave it to you, or you can put it on," Remus smirked. "I'm sure I could do some digging and find out either way, but I may need help… I'm sure Severus would enjoy the task."

Sirius' eyes narrowed, but he knew better than to challenge the wolf. Remus was nothing if not stubborn. Reluctantly he sighed and rolled his eyes, "It's not a big deal Remy, honestly. It was just from some bird in sixth year."

"Just some bird," Remus shook his head with a reminiscent grin. "It was always one bird or another. You were a lady-killer." Remus waggled his eyebrows and laughed as Sirius puffed with pride.

"She was a bit wild. We never even dated. When we met up one night in the astronomy tower she had it in her hand." Sirius smiled at the ceiling. "What a night."

Remus let him remember and eyed the collar still held in his friend's hand. "Put it on," he grinned.

"Honestly, Moony," Sirius smirked, "I didn't know you were so open-minded."

Remus didn't flush or turn back to the chest like he expected. Instead, the thin man appeared pensive and still smirked at him, waiting.

"You do know what this is?" Sirius asked, surely his innocent little Moony just thought it an exaggerated dog-collar.

"Oh, yes," Remus replied nonchalantly, but the glint in his eye told Sirius that he did in fact know exactly what it was. Sirius was proud.

"Fine," he sighed heavily, as though putting the bondage collar on was the most tedious thing he would ever have to endure.

He flipped his hair out of the way and rolled the leather around his neck. The heavy clasp rattled and iced the back of his neck. He fit it snug and turned it about to get used to the feel. It was awkward, the leather was quite thick and hindered the movement of his head, especially when he tried to look down. "Geez, I don't remember why this thing was so great…" Sirius grumbled, twisting a finger beneath the strap to loosen it around his throat. "HA! Remy do you wanna…try… what?"

Remus had a pinched, unreadable expression on his face. "You can take it off," he muttered, eyes at Sirius' throat. "It doesn't suit you."

"What's the matter Moony? Feeling a little… hot under the collar?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows and scooted toward the other wizard.

Remus shook his head, even as Sirius drew up a hair's breadth away and pressed his nose into his temple.

"You wouldn't be lying, would you Moony?" Sirius muttered, lips grazing Lupin's ear. Remus wrapped his arms around his neck, but not for what Sirius had thought. He felt the collar loose and slip from his neck and caught it as it fell past his chest.

"No, Sirius, I wouldn't." Remus drew back, taking the collar gently from Sirius' hands and dropped it to the side, neither in the throw-away pile, nor into the keepers. He returned to the box, burrowing back down inside and left Sirius to rub at his neck and wonder what that had been all about.

"Would it have been different if you had bought me that collar?" He asked with a sudden inspiration.

"No," came the hesitant reply from inside the chest. Remus withdrew and peered at him over his shoulder. "Perhaps your bird liked you bound Sirius, but I don't."

Sirius gnawed his bottom lip as he mulled that particular comment over. Something had happened to his Moony for such an admission. He ran a hand down Remus' back and bent his head down to look at the man bowed over into the box. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Honey-toned eyes blinked up at him, looking tired and distant. "No. But I should."

"Snape's orders," Sirius grinned, sliding to the side and rooting next to Remus. He took up a broken quill and frowned at it before tossing it to the right outside the box.

Remus looked at him for a while before nodding very slightly and rummaging as well. "After… after being bit and my first turn, my parents tried many ways to keep me from harming other people, and myself, of course." The wizard paused to catch his breath and keep his thoughts together. It would be far too easy to ramble off to avoid the topic.

"My father was the one to build the cage in the basement. My mother couldn't look at it, refused to even go down there for anything after it was finished. That's where I was housed every full moon."

"I remember you telling Prongs and I about that," Sirius interrupted softly.

"Yea," Remus nodded distractedly and took a yearbook from the chest. He thumbed it open and dazedly looked over the waving photos. "After my mother died, I was left to my father's attempts at 'expert care'.

He was sure that he could help me, and I don't blame him for the inadvertent cruelness, he only wanted his son back." Remus paused to stare down at a photo of himself, shy and staring at the boarder of his picture, unable to do more than blink. Second year and he still looked like a scared six year old.

"What did he do Remy?" Sirius sat back, fixing his pale friend with what he hoped was a heartfelt look.

"The cage," Remus paused and cleared his throat before trying again. "The cage didn't hold after I turned ten. Werewolves gain strength as they age, as a boy at ten I had the strength of a twenty year old on steroids. His homemade cage couldn't take a twenty-year-old werewolf. I broke the hinges off, nearly made it out of the house and into the village. I don't want to know what would have happened. My father is a clever man, he kept a tranquilizer gun by the basement door. He hit me with two, each with enough to stop a hippogriff."

"Ouch," Sirius grimaced and rubbed his posterior in sympathy. Remus grinned weakly at him.

"He scrimped and saved for months after that, standing at the top of the stairs during the full moon with the tranquilizer gun in his hands. Most months he had to use it. But eventually he saved enough money to buy a massive amount of sterling. He made cuffs…and bars… and—"

"A collar?" Sirius croaked.

Remus sat on his hands, horrified to find they were shaking. "Not entirely. The clasp was silver, it was studded with it, prevented me from taking it off at any rate."

"Jesus, Remus," Sirius breathed. The animagus took up the collar from the floor and tossed it toward the junk pile. Remus stuck his hand out and stopped it.

"You don't have to throw it away," Remus smiled tightly at him. "It reminds you of good times, you should keep it."

"Moony, I don't want to keep something that reminds you of something painful," Sirius frowned deeply and took it back.

"Sirius, don't argue with me," Remus rolled his eyes and snatched it again. He dropped it in the keep pile and when Sirius moved toward it again and Remus slapped his hand away. "It's okay," Remus told him, the wizard smiled gently and raised his hand, stroking Sirius' stubbled cheek with the back of his hand.

The animagus sighed and leaned into it. "Moony, I don't know what to do with you."

The wolf laughed and turned back to the chest of junk and began to thumb through it. Sirius shook his head and smiled softly at his bent back. He counted Lupin's ability to recount the hell a success, and made a mental note to mention the story to Snape when they saw him again.


	22. Two Steps Forward

It would be a full week before Severus would return to Grimmauld Place.

In that time Remus slowly began to sulk when he was alone for any length of time. Sirius would find him sitting in a chair or laying on the couch staring off into space with a wounded puppy look on his face. By Friday he could take no more of the man's brooding and finally sat down next to him to figure it out.

"Come on Moony, what's eating you?" Sirius took a large swallow of his whiskey and nudged Remus with his elbow.

"Nothing," Remus mumbled, shooting an irritated glance as Sirius snorted.

"You've been sulking around all week, now there's got to be something wrong." Sirius watched as Remus made a face. "Could it be something to do with Snape?"

"Of course not Sirius, don't be ridiculous," Remus huffed.

"So, you're sulking about Snape then," the animagus grinned. "Now that we've narrowed that bit down, so what has the greasy bastard done, then?"

"It's not about Severus," Remus was adamant, but he did appear to have deflated a bit. "Why hasn't he come back around?"

Sirius snorted into his whiskey, then grimaced as it burned his sinuses. "Miss your potions master?"

Remus pinked and prepared to deny it, but scowled at his feet and nodded. "He started to be kind of… sweet before he left. In his own Snape-ish kind of way. I guess I thought maybe he was willing to try to work something out."

Sirius gave him a pained, sad smile and patted his knee. "I'm sure he's just been busy."

"Right," Remus muttered. "I guess I just got used to him being here all the time."

The animagus nodded. He wouldn't admit it aloud, but he rather felt the house was void without the dark, brooding man about either. At least the kitchen smelled better.

"I'm sure he'll be back," Sirius shrugged and raised his nearly empty glass. "Albus ordered him to help you so he's bound to."

"Gee thanks, Padfoot, your trust in my love life is nothing short of remarkable," Remus grumbled, throwing himself back in the chair as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"What love life?" Sirius grinned. Remus didn't think it quite that funny and he literally growled at Sirius and bared his teeth. "Come on Remy, don't get sore at me. Hell, I haven't had any so long I'm practically a virgin again!"

Try as he might, Remus couldn't stay mad at Sirius after a remark like that. He rolled his eyes heavenward before he laughed outright. "We'll probably need lessons," the wizard gasped out, laughing like mad.

"Or lots of practice," Sirius waggled his brows and joined him, howling.

"Or perhaps you both need less alcohol and a larger bowl of kibble."

Both men snapped to attention, nearly coming to their feet. Snape stood in the den entry with one eyebrow raised.

"Severus," Remus breathed. The sound was filled with awe and elation, it made the hair on Snape's arms stand on end and a mass of worms wriggled in his gut.

"I hope you are prepared to work, Lupin," He managed after a moment. "I've been… detained later than I expected and we have time to make up."

"Alright," Remus stood and cleared his throat, glancing at Sirius and brushing his way past Severus into the kitchen. Sirius rolled his eyes and stood up too, stalking toward the kitchen and winking at Snape as he passed.

The potions master pinched the bridge of his nose and followed them both out, wondering just what he had walked into.

Remus was making tea, fidgeting back and forth around the open space as though he didn't know what else to do. Snape watched him in bemusement, a little awed that he had made Lupin that uncomfortable without even scowling first. Even Sirius found his friend's actions cute; little Lupin, flustered as a schoolgirl with her crush in her house.

"You've been gone longer than I thought," Remus muttered before looking a bit embarrassed and corrected himself, "Longer than we thought, I mean."

"Sometimes things happen that we cannot control," Severus accepted the cup of tea and stared down into it. "At any rate," he continued, "we have very little time. Have you attempted any transformation while I've been gone?"

Remus stared sheepishly at the table. In all honesty, he had forced the thought from his head. "No, uh, I haven't."

Severus let out a slow, hissing, exasperated sigh. "Lupin…"

"I know," Remus bemoaned, sliding down in his seat. "But you don't know how scared the thought of it makes me."

Snape raised a brow again, he had some idea after all… only a few nights ago in fact. "Come here," Severus demanded, pushing out the chair next to him.

Remus blinked slowly at him before standing and carefully sitting on the edge of the seat.

"Black," Severus waved him over with a hand, "Sit on the other side, and put down the alcohol you idiot."

Sirius scowled and drank the rest of his glass and slammed it onto the tabletop, resisting the urge to cough as it burnt brilliantly in the back of his throat. He sat down next to Remus and drew his chair up close to the wolf's, knees on either side of the thin man.

Severus nodded stiffly and turned about so that he mirrored Sirius and they had effectively cocooned Remus between them.

Remus took a slow breath in through his nose and mentally swore at his warming libido. Sirius swayed gently in his seat, Lupin didn't know how much the animagus had drank before Sirius had found him in the den. He glanced up at him through his fringe and smiled weakly as Sirius winked and smiled wide.

He startled when Severus took hold of his arm and lowered his hand toward his black-clad thigh, quite high near the juncture of femur and hip. Snape held the trembling hand down, curling his own long, stained fingers around Lupin's.

"I assume that you need assistance, at least in the beginning," Severus spoke low and calm, drawing Remus' attention away from the heat beneath his palm. "Most with your disease do in the beginning."

"Disease," Remus murmured, the word curdling in his mouth as he breathed through his nose. He grunted and jerked his head down once in a brief nod.

"I'm going to attempt to coax the transformation the first time by example by a shallow form of magical sharing." The potions master smirked tightly and motioned toward where their hands were pressed alarmingly close to his most private parts. "The carotid artery is one of the largest in the body, next to the jugular vein… and I am loathe to let you wrap your hands around our necks when you feel the pain."

Remus nodded, less intimidated by the intimate touching with a clinical explanation.

"Black," Severus rumbled, eyes hard and chin jutted forward.

Sirius blinked hazily at him and Remus had to wonder how exactly Sirius had known what Severus had wanted when the animagus mimicked Severus' hold and pinned Remus' hand to his own jean-clad leg.

"This is going to sting," Severus murmured before closing his eyes briefly and chanting very softly under his breath.

Remus tensed, waiting for the pain to come but none did and Severus opened his eyes, exhaled a great breath, and—Sirius yelped.

"Hold tight," Severus barked at him as the animagus' fingers flexed as he tried involuntarily to release the object that caused him pain.

Sirius grunted and bit his lip, leaning in toward Remus and digging his fingers into the side of his thigh, trying to rub at the pain of Remus' touch.

"Sirius, I'm sor—"

"Don't apologize," Snape spat. Remus turned toward him and noticed a faint tick beneath the man's right eye; Severus was feeling the same pain. "You should feel a pull in your spine. I need you to concentrate and transform any part of you body."

"Just not your hands," Sirius bleated.

Severus sneered, "Feel free to transform your left hand," the dark wizard hissed. Remus drudged up a faint grin. His left hand was pinned to Sirius' thigh after all.

A slow, thick fog of magic pushed on either side, crawling up his arms and touching in his chest. Severus' magic was cool and fluid, like mercury; Sirius' was warm and bubbling. They traced invisible patterns beneath his skin and Remus stared blankly at the wall in front of him as he felt the two meet above his heart and recoil from each other.

He breathed softly and flexed his fingers into the solidity that grounded him. Even their magic wouldn't touch, he could never ask them both to love him, they could never survive.

As though to refute him with their magic as the two did in their lives, both flowed forward again, touching very carefully before swirling against each other with such force Remus slumped forward as they squeezed the breath from his lungs.

The frenzy slowed and Remus choked on new breath and collapsed forward onto the table, careful to keep his hands where they were.

"Lupin?" Severus croaked.

" 'm okay," Remus muttered. As he lay slumped he felt the new mixture of commingled magic. It was beautiful; warm and cool, churning gently across him in waves that stroked his own magic softly.

"Moony?" Sirius whispered as his hand tightened in worry as Remus remained slumped and unresponsive.

Remus sat upright, turning his face toward Sirius with a lazy half smile. He bent toward the man, gently blowing the long hair from his path and kissed Sirius very softly. The warm magic surged, nearly drowning Severus' with a flood. Remus drew away, breathing through his teeth and turned toward Severus.

The potions master's face was masked very carefully, but Remus could feel the rejection in the slow backflow of Severus' magic. He leaned toward Snape but the man leaned backward. Remus stayed bent, eyes narrow and pleaded very softly. "Please, Severus."

The cool stream of magic paused completely, nearly painful as it remained stagnant. Severus tilted his head very slightly, eyes narrowed in suspicion as he returned to his previous position and let Remus press his warm, slightly chapped lips to his. The potions master remained as stone. Lupin withdrew only far enough to sob softly and press his nose to Severus' jaw. "Please…"

The cool magic moved again as though a dam had been breached. He tipped his head forward, kissing Snape's thin, cool lips and grunted as Severus pressed his back.

The potions master kissed with the same, slow, fluid intensity of his magic.

The flow of cool and warm became a tidal pool. Remus felt his own surge up and wrap them tightly as he leaned backward and plopped back into his seat. His magic squeezed, narrowing the point of their magic down.

Sirius let out a gasp; Severus grunted. They could feel it… Remus found that knowledge immensely pleasing. He didn't have enough time to contemplate it when their trifecta narrowed on its own and flowed down each rib and coiled gently around his spine.

"Now Lupin," Severus demanded.

Remus didn't know what to do, but he didn't know how to voice his problem to Severus.

"Something small," Sirius suggested, wrapping his free hand around Remus' elbow. "Something simple."

Remus nodded dumbly and gritted his teeth as the pressure on his spine increased tenfold.

"We can't stop it now, Lupin, do something!" Severus' thigh quaked beneath Remus' fingers.

His teeth hurt as he pressed them tightly together, the enamel nearly cracking. Remus clenched his eyes shut and threw his head back, feeling the inspiration. Wolves' teeth could take a worse beating than human teeth.

Remus forced his jaw to relax and felt Severus' magic "push" upward and toward the base of his neck. It took a moment but Sirius (or perhaps just his magic) caught up and they dragged Remus' reluctant power with them.

The force of the transformation was sudden and immensely painful. Blood coated Remus' tongue and he felt his jaw crack as thick, new canine's ripped from the bone. He let out a strangled squeal and felt both Sirius and Severus clamp down on him so tightly he felt his bones would bruise.

The pain ebbed and with it he could feel Sirius' and Severus' magic slowly slipping back toward the vessels that contained them. He felt a mild panic as they moved so easily away and didn't realize he was unconsciously pulling them back into him until Severus touched his face.

Remus turned his watery gaze toward the dark wizard, Severus looked grim. "We're right here Lupin, let go."

Confused, Remus flexed his cramping fingers and tried to return his hands to his lap but both Sirius and Severus held him still.

"No, Remus," Severus sighed softly. He closed his eyes and flexed his magic very gently. "Let go here…"

Remus nodded and bent his chin to his chest. He let out a long, shaking breath and felt his own magic release and both Sirius and Snape slipped from him with a whisper.

Severus was the first to release him and Sirius did as well after a time. He flexed his fingers, hissing as pins and needles quaked down them both.

"Are you alright, Moony?" Sirius bent forward, shoving his hair across his shoulder.

Remus nodded slowly and raised his still-tingling fingers to his face. He could feel the press of new teeth in his mouth. He turned his eyes timidly toward Severus and felt himself blush brilliantly under the wizard's gaze. Severus had a very slight, tilted smile on his lips and a softness to his eyes that made Remus want to fold around the man and hug him until he was hexed off.

"Very well done," Severus admitted with a carefully neutral tone. He glanced past Remus to Sirius and averted his gaze again.

Sirius cleared his throat.

Remus glanced between them and wondered what exactly it was he had missed.

"We'll take a break and let your magic calm before we attempt reversion." Severus scooted back, moving away from their cluster now that the necessity for closeness was over.

The potions master stood, drawing his robes close and left the room. Remus and Sirius watched him go unconsciously and heard the bathroom door click shut gently.

"That was…" Sirius shook his head and ran his hands over his face.

"Yea," Remus agreed, running his tongue across his teeth. His jaw ached, throbbing around his entire head and giving him the start to a wonderful migraine. It must have shown to some extent because Sirius smiled apologetically and hugged him with one arm.

"What was… that look about, then?"

Sirius frowned and shook his head, "I don't know what you mean."

"Come on Pads, you and Severus shared this _look_," Remus motioned toward the doorway with one hand and rubbed at his jaw with the other.

"Oh," Sirius grimaced and bent forward, glancing toward the doorway. "It was nothing."

"Nothing," Remus suppressed a suffering sigh and grinned. "It didn't look like nothing."

Sirius sighed and leaned back in his chair, pushing the hair from his face and rubbing his eyes.

Remus shook his head and let it be. He'd be able to wheedle it out of Sirius later if he tried hard enough.

Severus returned like a wraith through the door. Remus startled and let out a breathy laugh of mild embarrassment. Snape cocked an eyebrow and smirked slightly. His gaze fell on Sirius, and the amusement on his face fell away so quickly Remus was sure he heard it clatter on the floor tile.

Sirius paled and dropped his head to the table.

"What is wrong with the both of you?" Remus muttered.

Severus scowled and turned away, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He hissed slowly through his teeth but didn't elaborate.

Remus turned to Padfoot, but Sirius still had his head buried in his arms laid on the table. "Someone tell me what's going on," Remus sighed heavily and leaned toward Sirius. He lifted a lock of hair and pushed it from the way so that he could at least see part of Sirius' face.

"Come on, Pads..." Remus set his lips against Sirius ear. Sirius shivered and turned his face toward Remus, a smirk crinkling the corner of his eye. Remus resisted an urge to cuddle up against the animagus by mere margins.

Snape snorted from his spot across the table and Remus cast him a humored look.

The potions master didn't move as Remus stood from the table and skirted it, though he did hear Sirius sit up.

Severus shook his robes in mild irritation as Lupin neared. Remus snagged a handful of heavy material and tugged until Snape's arms uncrossed. "Come on, Severus," Remus pouted, running his fingers across the buttons along Snape's chest. The potions master frowned and attempted to step back but Remus took hold of his lapels and held him in place.

"If I'm going to be in this much pain, someone is going to tell me just what has happened between you two." Remus frowned, fingers twitching against the solid heat beneath his fingers. He felt a flare of embers in his stomach as he remembered the flow of chaotic magic and panicked kisses… with both Sirius and Severus.

"I knew there could be temporary connections when we shared the manifest of magic; you would be too preoccupied to tamper with them, but _Black_," the name was spat and Severus paused to snarl as he curled his fingers over Remus', "had to go poking about."

"I don't understand," Remus rubbed his aching jaw against his shoulder and turned toward Sirius, the animagus grinned briefly with mild embarrassment. Lupin looked back at Severus, looking for clarity.

"I used his magical signature like a road and got into his head," Sirius muttered.

"A severe invasion of privacy!" Severus spat. Remus' eyes widened.

"You couldn't shut him out?" Remus was surprised, Severus was a master at Occlumency, after all.

"Of course not! I had to willingly allow a magical tap between the three of us, if I shut him out I had to disconnect from both of you," Snape growled. Severus' hands flexed around Remus' and the wolf felt an involuntary shiver run up his spine.

"Right," Remus frowned. He looked between Sirius and Severus. Both men were tight lipped and couldn't look at each other. Snape was wound tight and Remus decided to go with his initial instinct and hound Sirius about it later. "So, now what?"

Severus released Remus' hands and pushed him toward the table. "Reversion."

"Just like that?"

"Why not," Severus drawled. "It's not as though you haven't had ample practice."

Remus grunted at that and sat at the table, beckoning Severus to sit. The potions master did not, though he did slide forward until he hovered over Remus' head like a vulture.

Several minutes passed in silence, save for the shuffling of Remus' feet and Sirius' drumming fingertips.

"Today would be good, Lupin," Severus frowned.

"I'm trying!" Lupin huffed, laying his arms on the table and idly withdrawing a margin when his hands brushed against Sirius'. He concentrated for another long moment before a large, jaw-cracking yawn ruined it.

"You will never learn it for yourself if you are talked through it every time," Severus grumbled. Remus winced and dropped his gaze to the tabletop.

Sirius scowled up at the dark figure of the potions master. "You can do it, Moony. Easy as pie i'nnit? Nothing for a clever bloke such as yourself."

Sirius tried not to look pointedly at Snape's hand as it rose from his side and hovered, unsure, over Remus' shoulder. He watched through his swaying hair as Severus mulled it over and the hand descended in robot clicks until it finally rested stiffly on Remus' shoulder.

Moony sagged slightly and leaned backward, head grazing along Snape's hip. Sirius fought a bubble of laughter at the shocked gape that graced Snape's face for the barest of seconds.

"Alright," Remus breathed out softly, speaking mostly to himself. He breathed deeply twice, slowly in… slowly out. In… out…

His jaw unhinged with an audible suctioned pop of cartilage. Sirius winced, Severus flexed his fingers around Remus' shoulder, and Lupin whimpered.

Teeth pulled and pressed, cracking his jaw bone in several places, exploding his head and neck in excruciating pain. Watery blood rolled from his chin to the tabletop in puddles. By the time his face was set to rights he was curled as well as possible in the fetal position in the kitchen chair, clutching Severus' hand and nearly tugging out a chunk of Sirius' hair.

The pain only ebbed so far and soft voices were seeping past the rush of blood pounding in his ears. Remus blinked at Sirius, slowly uncurling his cramped fingers and apologizing weakly to both men.

Sirius rubbed at the sore spot on his scalp and gave him a grimaced grin. "How do you feel?"

"Awful," Remus growled, tenderly probing at his jaw.

"Come along," Severus drawled, standing back and watching with keen eyes as Remus swayed lightly on his feet. He turned sharply on his heel and stalked to the stairs, waiting patiently for Remus to follow.

He did at a slower pace and with a noticeable lean to the left. Sirius, proper dog as he was, followed along obediently as well.

Remus dragged his shoulder along the peeling wallpaper as they mounted the stairs. Nearly to the landing, he stumbled and pin wheeled in panic for a millennia of nanoseconds before strong hands snatched his shirt-front and a solid chest met his back with a grunt.

"Easy," Sirius soothed, helping him gain footing as Severus held him pinned by his jumper.

Remus breathed shallowly, vertigo swept through him as an icy sheet and he bent forward and retched weekly on Severus' boots. Flushed in embarrassment, Remus was dragged up the last few stairs as he mumbled an apology.

"Don't be an idiot," Severus snorted. He caught Remus' regretful gaze on his spattered feet and he forcibly dragged the man further down the hall to gain his attention. "They have tracked through much worse than your blood and bile," he muttered.

Remus scoffed and Snape dragged him to his room. He was exhausted, even his bones ached with fatigue… his bed never looked so welcome. How was it that he had managed to live in dry-rotted shacks, and sleep on tattered mattresses, again?

"Rest, Lupin," Severus pointed a severe finger to the bed. "You need to attempt this all again on your own."

Remus nodded, already pulling his sweater over his head and sliding sideways onto the bed. He hugged a pillow to his chest, rolling to his side to see Severus already retreating.

"Severus!" He blushed and cleared his throat as the potions master stopped and cast him a curious glance. "You'll be here, won't you?"

"That would defeat the purpose of doing it on your own, wouldn't it?" Severus drawled.

Remus nodded, a whirl of panic churning his stomach. Severus cocked his head to the side and regarded him with his dark, penetrating gaze. With a minor hesitation he stepped back into the room, brushing past Sirius, and frowned softly.

"I have a previous engagement tomorrow evening," he muttered, eyes trained on the pillow Remus hugged to himself, "but I will try to return by nine."

Remus smiled, knowing it was giving his insecurities away, and nodded. "I… well, good. Thank you."

"Hnn." Severus smirked and turned, tripping across Sirius as he went. He scowled darkly at the animagus and walked down the hallway.

Sirius grumbled, standing in Remus' doorway and throwing his hands around as he muttered to himself. Remus watched in drowsy amusement as the animagus growled, struck himself in the forehead with his palm and stormed down the stairway.

Sirius managed to catch Snape at the doorway, feeling his mother's eyes on his back from the sickeningly large portrait. "Wait!"

Severus dropped his hand from the knob and turned with a sneer. "What is it now Black? Come to invade more of my privacy? Perhaps I should strip and prostrate myself before you? Would that be enough degradation for you?"

The air crackled and Sirius felt his blood burn as he seethed. "Of course not! I told you I didn't mean—"

"Liar!" Spittle flecked Snape's lips as he whirled and stepped menacingly toward Sirius, his wand hand twitching toward his hip. "You admitted to using my magic like a path… You knew what you were doing!"

"I'm sorry! Alright?! Merlin's balls, Snape, I didn't expect it to be that easy." Sirius refused to back away as Severus advanced one slow, menacing step at a time.

"You could have jeopardized Remus's health," Severus hissed, stabbing his forefinger to the stairwell. Sirius barely recognized the fact that the dark wizard had used Remus' given name, too busy watching where Snape's hands were fluttering.

"I know, _I know_!" Sirius scrubbed his hands down his face. "But I saw what your father—"

"Don't you dare!" Snape shrieked. His wand hand shot out, tip trembling at Sirius' throat. "Don't you dare speak of him!" Severus coughed out, throat tight and stomach churning.

Sirius pushed the wand away and scrabbled for purchase of Snape's robe front. The potions master slapped his hands away and advanced again, thrusting his chest out and grabbing a fistful of Sirius' hair.

The animagus hissed, hooking his heel into Snape's knee and toppling them both into the wall. Sirius took the brunt of the impact against his back and air squeezed painfully from his lungs while his vision grayed.

Anguish and hate curled Severus' face and Sirius could practically watch the gears in the man's head turn as he brought back his fist and landed it square against his ribs. Sirius hacked, snarled and redoubled his efforts for the upper hand.

The scuffle lasted for a long stretch of minutes until, panting, they were tangled and tumbled to the floor. Severus had one hand still locked painfully in Sirius' hair, the other full of tearing tee shirt and pinned beneath them. Sirius had one leg locked about Snape's thigh, one fist in his lank hair, and the other flexing open and closed, pinned awkwardly as it was between them.

Sirius could still see the pain of memory tearing across Snape's face and flashing bits of the memory he had stolen peeks at earlier flitted around his head in torrid snapshots. In that moment the fight left him and he sagged against the floor, fingers numb in Snape's hair and eyes soft in memory.

"My father," he whispered, stopped, swallowed. Snape's breath was easing, but the hold of his hair and shirt were not lacking. Sirius took several small breaths and forced himself to meet the potions master's eyes. "My father preferred his own hand to his belt when he got very angry. Made him feel bigger… more personal." Sirius shared in broken whispers.

Snape's fingers twitched beneath them and Sirius saw his gaze shutter. As uncomfortable as it was to lay knotted and bruised on the hall floor, Sirius didn't have the heart or strength to untangle himself at the moment. He stared at Snape's thin lips instead… they were much easier to look at than Snape's impassive face.

"I ran when I was sixteen," he muttered, the hand he had clutched Snape's hair with fell and he curled his fingers into Severus' robe instead, seeking strength. "I never set foot here again until this year… I hate it." Sirius choked and clamped his mouth shut quickly, braving a glance to see Snape was staring past his head to the cracked mop-board.

He took the vacant moment to stare hard at Snape's face. His leg was cramping, twisted as it was, but he didn't quite dare move it yet.

Snape took a large, shaking breath, eyes still searching the paneling for answers and wheezed out, "My mother…" he swallowed, flicked his gaze to Sirius and did not continue again.

The animagus breathed carefully, feeling suddenly cleaved open to be examined. Snape's dark gaze was troubled, eyes narrow and lips parted. Sirius felt his stomach clench and he unfurled his leg and stretched, sitting up awkwardly. Snape's hands fell away from him with no resistance.

His stomach churned, burned, and Sirius felt more than he realized he was bending toward the broken man on the floor. He stopped himself just a hair's breadth away from Severus and his eyes widened as he realized what he had been about to do.

Snape, too, seemed to realize at that moment and he jerked back so violently his head struck the wall.

They scrambled apart and stood several paces away from each other, blinking owlishly at each other from afar and gaped stupidly before Snape jerked his robes straight and left the house with a bang.

Sirius ran a hand down his face and repeatedly butted his head against the wall. He'd gone mental, that's what it was… stark raving loony.

He stumbled numbly up the stairs, refusing to assimilate the information in his brain and staggered into Remus' room. He fell onto the bed, startling an ungrateful Moony.

The irritation faded to mute curiosity as Remus took in his dazed expression. "Are you alright? I thought I heard fighting earlier."

"Wha? Yea…" Sirius blinked and focused on Remus face. "Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

Remus didn't bother to point out that he had been sleeping quite nicely once the fighting downstairs had ceased until a rather rude animagus had dropped roughly onto the bed. "Right." He closed his eyes briefly and opened them to stare at Sirius again. The animagus had a semi-pained, partly revolted look on his face.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yea… fine." Sirius grinned half-heartedly and buried his face into the pillow.

Remus shook his head and rolled over, he really was quite tired.


	23. Exchange of Pain for Pleasure

a/n: So, since it has been some time between updates and I didn't want to cleave this chapter in half, you have an extra-large update! 21 pages according to MS Word. I will say, this chapter, and the next, are my FAVORITES so far. Lots of stuff happening all at once.

Many thanks to the numerous reviews asking for updates! And a special thanks to the sorta anonymous 'me' for making me feel extra giddy. Repeatedly read it? Really? :D

Any-who, enjoy!

--

It's cold and dank, a familiar smell of mildew and stale water.

"Hurry up!" A hissed whisper in his ear. Sirius blinks and hurries forward, he doesn't know where he's going, but his feet seem to know well enough for him. There's a firm grip on his arm and a harsh blasting breath in his ear.

"Where are we going?" He whispers back, feeling an urgency in the darkness.

There's a silent scoff that blows his hair across his neck and the hand on his arm tightens. "Don't be an idiot, Black. And hurry, we're running out of time."

Sirius stumbles in the dark. Snape. Snape was clinging to him in the dark. The man steadies him and Sirius expects the nasty remarks to come, he's oddly surprised and worried when none do, and a troubled tone whispers into his ear. "Easy, Sirius, the ground's horribly uneven. We can't afford you to twist an ankle."

There's whispering ahead in the cavern, it echoes back in an oddly eerie way.

Snape's gasping in his ear and he's dragging heavily on Sirius' robes. It slowly dawns on Sirius that there's something very wrong.

"What's happing?" Sirius tries to stop but Snape is pushing his lower back and grumbles. "Snape?"

"We have to get to Remus, stop lurking, who knows what that vile bastard is doing to him!"

Sirius' heart leaps to his throat and he spins to a stop, grabbing hold of Snape as the man stumbles against him. They're closer to the cavern, a dull light that flickers—a torch or pit fire. There's blood on Severus' face, his hooked nose further crooked.

"What happened to you?" Sirius gapes, noticing how carefully Snape is cradling his arm to his chest.

Severus scowls darkly at him, snarling and Sirius is oddly put at ease by the familiarity. "Be a dollard later! We're nearly there. Do you remember what you need to do?"

Before Sirius could shake the man and scream no, Severus dodged to the right and darted into the cavern. Sirius ran after him and stumbled to a stop. Fenrir Greyback was holding Snape by the neck and shaking him like a rag doll.

Snape's black eyes glittered in the firelight and he choked out in gasps, "Black! Get Remus… Help him!"

…oOo…

Sirius jerked awake, soaked in sweat and sticking to the sheets.

"Sirius?"

The animagus nearly fell to the floor and instead pushed back into the corner of the headboard and clutched at his pounding heart. Remus was standing near looking worried and confused.

"You were tossing around… feeling alright?"

Sirius swallowed twice and nodded. He laughed nearly manically as he pushed his hair repeatedly from his face. Remus smiled gently and helped by brushing it back with his fingers. Sirius felt a maddening bubble of emotion burst in his stomach. He took hold of Remus' waist and drew the thin wizard to him, burying his face into the Lupin's stomach.

"Pads?" Remus stroked his hair and held him for a while.

"M'okay," Sirius mumbled, leaning back a bit but not letting Remus go.

"I'll fix some breakfast." Remus gathered his courage and laid a brief kiss on Sirius head before retreating into the kitchen.

Sirius ran a hand down his face and made his way to the bathroom. His eye sockets were a little too dark and his face a little too pale. The dream had left him unsettled. He hadn't felt that vulnerable about a nightmare since he was a child.

He had no doubt his lovely peek into Snape's head had helped create it. There were glimpses of normal moments. Silent evenings at Spinner's End, bent low over a pitiful dinner in the dark. Books, potions, lack of respect every time he turned around. Orders from Dumbledore, scoldings from Pomfrey, stupidity from students… it had been fast and furious, a collage of fragmented moments in Severus' life. Not to mention the rather violent and confusing conclusion to last night's wrestling match.

Sirius rinsed his mouth and stared at himself a moment longer. What he needed today was time to do and not think. Perhaps, if Remus wouldn't mind…

"Breakfast is on, Pads!"

Remus sat down at the table, nibbling at his toast when Padfoot entered, clicking toenails on the floor and wide, violet eyes over a wet nose. Remus looked surprised down at the dog and saw it wag its tail very slowly.

"Come on then," He told the dog, sliding the plate from the table top to the floor. He wasn't going to begrudge Sirius some time as a canine. In fact, he had an inkling that he might see Padfoot during the day. Since they had been children at Hogwart's and Sirius had first been able to transform, the handsome youth would revert to his dog form when something was bothering him.

Padfoot let out a soft chuff and the wagging tail became far happier. He pranced into the kitchen and ate as messily as he could while Remus watched and laughed.

"I was thinking of traveling back to the third floor again today. Maybe we could actually get some cleaning done up there instead of just making a bigger mess." Remus sipped his juice and smiled as Padfoot licked his chops and yipped in agreement.

Pads walked forward, resting his large head on Remus' lap. Lupin idly scratched at his ears.

"Come on then," Remus told him, retrieving the plate from the floor and leaving their dishes in the sink.

Padfoot followed Lupin up the stairs, nose to the floor cracks. It had been quite some time since he'd been a dog in this house. He certainly hadn't dared when anyone else was home. It was vaguely nostalgic and depressing picking up the scents of what seemed his ancient past.

A familiar smell captured his attention and with nose low and ears back he followed it enthusiastically while Remus shook his head and continued on his way without him.

The smell grew stronger as he neared the end of the third floor corridor, sneezing as the dust caught in his sinuses. Motes swirled high from his sneeze and he took a playful moment to nip at a larger one and whirled on his feet.

The trail grew strong and ended almost abruptly at a closed door he vaguely remembered being his mother's 'private' closet. He clawed half-heartedly at the doorjamb, prepared to forget it when something moved heavily inside.

Pads curled his lip over his teeth, snarling and began to ram his square head into the jamb, clawing with his might at the floorboards. Whatever was there heard him and panicked as more things tumbled and the sound of something shattered from within.

Remus emerged from a room near the stairwell with a frown. He looked curiously at Sirius and startled as the dog barked and continued to dig.

"What are you doing?!" Remus sounded exasperated. He came up short and drew his wand when another hard thump came from the closet. He carefully laid his hand on the knob and looked down at the dog. "Ready?"

Padfoot chuffed and sidled out of the way, crouched low on his haunches so he could launch himself.

The door swung open with a squeal of hinges followed by the high-pitched shrieking of a particularly panicked house elf. Remus kept his wand trained on the pathetic thing just in case.

Sirius snarled and growled, taking great clacking bites in Kreacher's general direction. The waif of a house elf shrieked in panic and tried valiantly to climb a mountain of memorabilia that jammed the space nearly full.

"Stop! Stop, Pads!" Remus reached down for a handful of Sirius' pelt but recoiled as a stinging slap brought beads of blood to his cheek.

Kreacher sat petrified, staring at his own small hand in shock and hissed through his teeth as Padfoot tried again to bite him.

Remus touched the scratches and stared in obvious shock at the house elf. He took his fingers away and laughed sarcastically at the blood that dribbled on his fingertips.

Sirius scented the sharp copper tang and his violet eyes lost color as his pupils dilated until they shone. Kreacher let out a squeal of high alarm as the large dog leapt up the mound of garbage and snagged him roughly by the ankle.

"Let him go," Remus demanded attempting to pry Padfoot's jaws apart.

The dog let out a grunt of satisfaction as the house elf wailed, he shook him just out of spite.

"Filthy creature! Not master, _not master_!" Kreacher shrieked and curled about himself, reaching out and digging his thin pointed fingers into Padfoot's eyes.

The dog bellowed and bit harder before shaking the house elf loose. Remus shot a curse at Kreacher as he stumbled a few feet away, but missed as the elf vanished with a crack.

"Are you alright?" Remus gasped, grasping hold of the dogs head and attempting to assess the damage.

Padfoot jerked his head away and rubbed at his eyes aimlessly with a soft whimper. He blinked narrowed, pained eyes at Remus and chuffed, nosing his way past and sauntered dejectedly into the room Remus had been in only a minute before.

Remus rolled his eyes and touched his cheek again with a hiss. Damned that little blighter, now that they'd found him, they would have to find something to do with him… preferably involving an unforgivable or a horrific accident involving an avalanche of fine crystal ware.

Lupin cast an eye into the closet and snorted. He wasn't about to touch anything in there today. Perhaps in a day or two… after that planned accident.

He was worried about Padfoot, but it eased when he found the dog with his head stuck under a bed and tail wagging lazily at whatever he was sniffing. Remus scratched the dog's rear-end on the way past and began to paw about things himself.

…oOo…

A slow, lulling afternoon of searching half-heartedly through the third floor left both canine's dusty and hazy. Remus clomped down the stairs with a tired gait, Padfoot practically skimming along them on his belly.

He grinned down at the dog as he poured a large bowl full of water to set on the floor. Padfoot gave him a doggy-grin with tongue lolling out the side of his mouth before driving his nose into the water and slobbering away.

Remus helped himself to a tall glass of water himself and sat down at the table with a creak in his spine and a sigh on his lips.

Once Padfoot had sated himself and was dribbling small puddles of water and saliva onto the floor, Remus patted his thigh and motioned the dog over. "Let me take a look at that Pads."

The dog groaned and sat heavily on Remus' foot in his own way of defiance, obediently lifting his head up to rest his chin on the table's edge. Remus tsked softly and accio'ed a clean washcloth from a drawer by the sink. He dipped it into his water and wiped the dirt and clinging webs from the dog's face.

The scratches weren't too bad considering. Blood had matted the short fur together where it was deepest, but most of it looked superficial. Remus thanked Merlin that Kreacher hadn't put out one of Sirius' eyes.

"I ought to have a better look at this…" He gave Sirius a meaningful look and the dog huffed slowly through his nose. "Just to look, then you're welcome return to the mite ridden beast you are." Lupin smiled lightly. Padfoot let out a long sigh the changed tone as he slipped from dog to man.

Remus had Sirius' face in his hands and he frowned deeply. The scratches looked much worse on hairless flesh. The cuts were long and scarlet, puffy at the edges and a very light bruising had started in the softest tissue of Sirius' left eye-lid.

"How is it?" Sirius asked softly, gripping the side of Remus chair as his balance shifted.

"Nasty," Remus admitted, "but I don't think you'll have any problems. Healing or scarring and such." The lycan carefully dragged the cloth back down the side of the animagus' face and winced in apology as Sirius hissed through his teeth.

"Perhaps we should contact Albus or Madame Pomfrey. I don't think we have anything for it, it would be good to clean it up properly at least." Remus mumbled, more to himself than Sirius.

The animagus nodded dumbly, his eyes ached and he wanted to return to his dog form and curl up on the musty sofa. He dropped his head heavily into Remus hand and the man smirked at him.

"Alright, then," Remus sighed. He ran his fingers lightly through Sirius hair as the man changed back to dog. Padfoot pushed his nose into Remus palm and chuffed happily as Lupin scratched at his ears.

"Go take your nap then, I'll firecall Poppy."

Padfoot's tail wagged and he trotted into the den and flopped his bulk onto the sofa. It let out a groan of protest but settled. Sirius watched with hooded, sleep laden eyes as Remus knelt by the fireplace and tossed a pinch of floo powder into the lightly glowing coals.

He was asleep before Remus even stuck his head into the grating.

…oOo…

Severus Snape was _not_ having a good day. It seemed his body was severely upset with the late night tousle—followed by very little sleep. And if he thought his abused body was vocal last evening, it was absolute torture come dawn. It took him five minutes to rise from his bed, rocking painfully onto his back and hauling his aching carcass upright.

It took him far longer than that to clean and dress. He'd managed to lose precious time for his potions and by the time he made it into his private labs two simmering potions were ruined and one was barely passable. He growled menacingly at the inanimate objects around him and threw the remaining cauldron into the wall with a resounding clang.

He'd even managed to hurt himself doing that. His wrist twinged and he held it tightly with his other hand and scowled. _Just perfect_.

By mid-morning he had managed to burn his toast, slosh a scalding hot mug of tea onto his lap and tear a hole in his favorite work robe. Therefore, when Albus found him after lunch, Snape was burrowed into a large chair before a cold fireplace.

The Headmaster noted the nearly empty crystal decanter on the flagstones at Severus' feet and the empty glass that dangled from the man's thin fingers.

"Have you had a terrible morning, Severus?"

The man flinched and peeked over his shoulder across the back of the chair giving Albus a baleful glare. "Must you sound so bloody cheerful?"

Dumbledore looked pleasantly startled and smiled brightly, "Why, yes, I suppose I do!"

Severus grumbled and burrowed lower, scowling as Albus lit the hearth and sat down without invitation. "Is there a reason you've brought the sunshine and rainbows down to the lower sanctum of Hell?"

"Do I need a reason?" Albus blinked behind his glasses, looking genuinely curious and stroked his beard. He ruminated for a moment while Severus squeezed the bridge of his nose and wished he had drank either more or less­—either to knock himself completely unconscious, or to remain sober enough to deal with the Headmaster's inane ramblings.

Minutes later Albus hummed pleasantly and smiled, eyes twinkling brightly. "I suppose I don't particularly need a reason, but it so happens that I do this afternoon."

Severus moaned and laid his forehead in his hands. "What can I do for you this time, Headmaster?" Snape mumbled toward his lap.

Albus smirked internally and watched with neutral eyes as he said jovially, "I was hoping you might run an errand for me, you see I am terribly busy later this afternoon and I haven't the time to pop into Grimmauld Place."

Severus' head snapped up and his nearly bloodshot eyes were a little wider than normal. "And what would you have been bringing?"

"Oh, well, Poppy told me it was a mild healing poultice made specifically for ocular ailments." Albus' twinkle went full blast as Severus jerked upright in his chair, but frowned softly as Snape hissed and held his side.

"Please tell me that they've finally gotten into a fight for dominance and Lupin's eaten Black…" Severus mumbled. He straightened up and took several long seconds to stand. He ignored the worried glance from the Headmaster and put on his traveling cloak.

"Where is it?"

Albus unwrapped a lemon sherbet and dropped the wrapper into the fire. "It is currently in Poppy's office." He stood and wrapped an arm loosely about Severus' shoulders. "Thank you so much for your help, my boy!"

"My pleasure," Severus deadpanned.

Albus walked the man out and they shared a silent company until they reached the first floor. "Do tell the boys I send my regards," Albus chirruped happily as he turned off toward his office.

The potions master sneered and swept off to the infirmary, students scattering in his wake.

…oOo…

The streets outside of Grimmauld Place were dirty and windswept. Old, yellowed paper and dented garbage bins rolled freely through the alleyways. Severus braced himself against the wind and hauled himself up the stairs to the front door.

Mrs. Black's portrait let out a shriek that raised the hairs along his neck. He snarled at it and passed blessedly through the thin barrier that silenced the hall from the howls of the entryway.

Someone was singing in the kitchen, a soft lilting tune that sounded vaguely Celtic. A small bundle set in the crook of Snape's arm, he shifted it, wincing as his wrist let out a pang of protest—still sore from the morning's stupidity—and stalked into the warm room.

Hermione Granger of all people was sitting at the table talking in low tones to Molly Weasley, who hummed the soft tune he had heard earlier.

"..Professor!"

Severus allowed a weak snarl as Ms. Granger's bushy head turned his way. Molly paused in her tune and looked over her shoulder with a smile.

"Good afternoon Severus! If I knew you were coming I would have brought along another pie."

Snape waved his hand dismissively, "I'm not here for pleasantries," he snarled. "Where is Lupin?"

"Upstairs with the boys," Molly turned back to the sink and continued washing carrots.

"Am I trusted to believe he and the mutt are also being visited," he sighed. Another lovely addition to his day—a _visit_ with Potter and the youngest Weasley son.

"Oh, yes. Harry was quite pleased to come along," Molly practically sang, picking up on her tune again as Severus swept to the stairs.

He paused on the second floor, grimacing at the laughter that filtered down from the third, and continued on his way up.

"This is brilliant!" Crowed a teenaged voice. Severus rolled his eyes heavenward, knowing instinctively that it was Weasley.

It wasn't hard to trace the lot of them to a room with all of the noise they were making. He paused in the entry, scowling at the boisterous noise. Potter was on the floor nearly buried beneath a pile of oddities. Ron Weasley had an old chaser's jersey pulled over his head and looked far too awed at the piece a moth bitten material. Lupin had his head jammed into a closet… Sirius was nowhere to be seen.

"Snape?!" Ron gaped, paling so quickly Severus thought he might pass out.

Remus jerked upright and knocked his head against the bar in the closet. He backed out rubbing at it and looked highly embarrassed as he grinned weakly. "Severus, back so soon?"

Normally a blurb like that would have made Snape's blood boil. But the way Lupin's cheeks flushed and he practically floated past the children made Severus glean over it.

He stalked forward and met Lupin half way. The wolf's eyes widened and he glanced, paranoid toward the boys who were watching in panicked interest. Snape resisted the urge to snap at them and chastise Lupin for thinking he would _ever_ show _any_ display of public affection… much less any affection.

There were three thin scratches down Lupin's cheek but they weren't deep, nor were they near his eye. Severus shifted the box and scowled. "Albus sent me with medication for your eye… but there appears to be nothing wrong with it."

Remus looked confused for a moment before a light dawned. He smiled and shook his head. "He missed mine easy enough. It's Sirius that needs help."

"Black," Severus growled.

"What? Oh, Snape," Sirius drawled, appearing from the hall behind. He held a couple of books in his hands that he passed to Harry. Severus could see the Hogwart's crest embossed on the cover.

The animagus squatted next to his godson and flipped through several pages, pointing out several photos in rapid succession in his excitement. Ron skirted the two adults in the middle of the room and dropped to the floor next to Potter.

Remus watched the small group with a fond smile and leaned into Snape subconsciously.

Severus sidestepped carefully, feeling unease well in his stomach. The casualty of Lupin's affection was too much for him most days. It awed and—though he would never admit it aloud—scared him at how comfortably Lupin was with touches. Which was saying something considering the man was a werewolf and mostly embarrassed by innocent touches himself.

Lupin looked a bit offput but shrugged it off well enough.

"Pads, Snape is here for you," Remus interrupted. Sirius gave him a skeptical look over his shoulder and remained where he was.

To Snape's mild surprise it was Potter who nudged Black. "Go on," he said quietly. He eyed something on Sirius face and the animagus patted Potter's shoulder before he stood.

The boys spared him a glance before returning to the past.

Snape frowned as Black turned into the sunlight. There were some rather nasty looking gouges down his forehead, across his left eye and down both cheeks.

One sable eyebrow rose as Snape passed the box to Lupin. Remus drew the strings away and slid the paper free. Several small linen pouches sat within, each stuffed with carefully selected herbs.

"Come downstairs, we need to soak these in water," Remus steered Sirius by the shoulder and led him down the steps, nodding in polite chagrin at Sirius' protests.

Severus began to stalk after them but paused and squinted down his nose at the two students. Potter kept eye-contact, Weasley kept looking between the two of them. "You may bring those to the table," Severus said slowly, voice condescending. He turned and stalked to the stairs and spoke in a low tone, "this may take some time."

Back in the warmth of the kitchen found Molly fussing over Sirius and Lupin warming a teapot. Severus towered over Molly until the woman shot him an irritated look and returned to her pots with a huff.

Severus took Black by the chin and turned his head up into the light. The animagus growled at him and Snape squeezed just for spite. The delicate tissue of his eyelids were nearly black with bruises and swollen very nearly shut. "How would you manage to gouge your eye out?"

"I didn't," Sirius snarled through his clenched jaw.

"It was Kreacher," Remus interrupted with a too loud voice. He broke apart the two and situated himself between them. "We found him in an upstairs closet."

Severus sneered. "You should have killed him and mounted him years ago."

Granger let out a huff and scowled, but wisely kept her mouth shut.

The kettle bubbled and Lupin removed it before the water got too hot. Three of the pouches went into a bowl where Remus dumped half of the water. The sachets bubbled a bit as they steeped and Lupin sat down next to Sirius.

"Get me a towel," Severus grumbled to whoever would listen. One was passed to him quickly though he didn't know by whom. He snapped it open and laid it around Sirius' neck, tipping the man's head back. "Move your blasted hair," he hissed.

Sirius bared his teeth but did as he was told.

"Where is Kreacher now?" Molly asked as she set her pie into the oven.

"I don't know," Remus sighed. "After our run-in he disappeared with a crack and I haven't seen him since."

Severus frowned. An attacking elf was not a sign of a safe house. He plucked a bag from the water and wrung much of the excess water from it. A pungent smell, similar to a smoky tea, permeated the air. Snape curled his nose and took hold of Sirius' chin again.

He stretched the bag between his fingers a bit and laid it along the deepest scratch. Sirius hissed, Severus smirked, and Remus laid his head in his hands and sighed.

"Is it supposed to sting this much?" Sirius griped as his fingers curled into his thighs until his knuckles went white.

"I don't know," Severus told him with a smirk. Sirius glared with one eye and Snape found it all the more comical.

"What the hell do you mean you don't know?!"

"I'm a potions master, Black, not a medi-wizard."

Remus hid a smile behind his hand and watched the two bicker.

A few minutes passed with Sirius' head craned at an awful angle and Severus stooped over him like a vulture. Harry and Ron had come down the stairs during that time, but the tense air in the kitchen left them retreating into the den with Hermione in tow.

Severus lifted the now icy pouch and dropped it onto the table with a wet smack. He frowned as Sirius attempted to stand. "I have not finished," he snapped, shoving the man back with a palm in his chest.

Sirius gnashed his teeth and scowled.

Snape let out a low hum of curiosity and leaned far into Sirius' personal space. His heavy robes brushed Sirius face and the animagus got a lungful of warm spice before his chair was jerked around.

Snape's cold fingers touched the swollen, tender skin around his eye and Sirius sat very still, wary of losing an eye at Snape's whim.

Another low, tonal hum left the man's chest and Sirius squirmed, torn between anger and worry. "What _is_ it?"

"This eye looks nearly violet in the light," Snape muttered, tone low and light.

"So?" Sirius snapped. He knew quite well that his eye color varied just so from the deepest blue to a hue very close to violet when he got angry or excited. What he wanted to know was what was so damned interesting.

"Well the other is blue," Severus groused, as though he were stating the obvious to a complete incompetent—which may have been true in his own mind.

Remus stood, curiosity piqued and looked down at Sirius' face upside-down. He smiled and nodded affirmation. "It's true. Apparently pain suits you," the lycan needled.

"Among everything else," Severus hissed softly, then clamped his lips tight and scowled at the two of them as though tempting them to loose his wrath by commenting on it.

Sirius choked and fought a flush as the enormity of last night's events fell on his shoulders again. He found he couldn't look at either Snape or Remus.

"There is no drainage," Severus continued in a gruff tone. "I would say you will live, unfortunately, and your scratches will heal in a day or so."

"A day?" Sirius groused, sitting upright and rubbing at his neck. The towel fell to his lap, slightly damp from the trails of tainted water.

"Madame Pomfrey assured me it was a mild healer to help prevent any infection in your eye. Unfortunately eye tissue is very sensitive and anything you might put to your scratches might do more harm to the lens than any help."

"Great," Sirius muttered.

"Afraid of a few scars, Black?"

"Of course not," Sirius snapped.

Snape scowled and unceremoniously slapped a sopping bag onto Sirius' face. "Hold that," Severus muttered, stalking out of the kitchen.

"Where the hell is he going?" the animagus huffed, settling the bag against the scratches and blowing water from his lips.

Remus leaned out of the kitchen door to see Snape disappear up the stairs. "Looks like he's forgotten something in his room."

Sirius rolled his visible eye and snorted. "_His_ room."

Remus laughed and winked at Sirius, "I'll go see if he needs any help."

Sirius scoffed and watched Remus leave from the corner of his eye.

"They're good for each other," Molly said gently, taking the bag from him and dabbing at water trails with the towel.

Sirius gave her a semi gape and sputtered.

"Oh, don't look like that Sirius Black, a woman can tell these things," Molly smiled. She continued to fuss and wait. The longer she looked down at Sirius the more that smile slipped.

Molly sat down so suddenly that Sirius nearly broke his neck sitting up in a hurry to catch her. The woman was staring at him, plain faced with a dripping poultice in one hand and her heart covered with the other.

"Molly?" Sirius sat forward, afraid the woman was having a heart attack.

"Oh, you poor thing," she whispered very softly.

"What? Molly I—" Sirius started.

"You love him too." The Weasley matriarch smiled sadly and patted his knee. "Oh, dear…"

Sirius let out a dry laugh that he choked on, swallowing something that was suspiciously similar to a hard sob.

"Does Severus know?" She asked, squeezing his knee before standing to return to her motherly duty.

Sirius shifted down until his head rested on the table, sighing in content as his neck eased of its cramp. "Know what?" He asked her resignedly, hoping that none of the children, or anyone else for that matter would come eavesdropping.

"Know what…" she repeated with exasperation. "Does he know that you love him?"

Sirius sputtered again and jerked up completely out of his seat, neck protesting and water dribbling down his face, poultice landing in a squash on his chest before it fell to the floor.

"Of course not," he yelped before shaking his head roughly, "I mean, of course I don't! Love him, I mean!" He cringed and lowered his voice and shot Molly a dirty look, "What the hell are you talking about woman?!"

"Sirius Black, don't you get sassy with me!" Molly harrumphed, dropping fists to her hips.

Remus and Snape chose that moment to return, Lupin pausing to assess, Severus barging in and caring less; a forgotten tomb tucked neatly beneath his arm.

"Did I miss something?" Remus asked carefully.

"No," both growled at the same time. Sirius fumed silently, taken aback and horrified.

"Black," Severus barked, "sit." He pointed at the chair and Sirius sank into it in a fog as his mind tripped over itself trying to think of how Molly could _ever_ think such a thing.

"I ask you to do one thing, _one_," Severus grumbled as he roughly dried the animagus' face.

"Ow! Christ Snape, I am injured here!"

"Only for your own stupidity," Snape hissed back. He took up the last pouch and practically slapped it onto Sirius' face still sopping wet.

Sirius growled, Snape sneered, and Remus sat down with a long sigh.

Molly set a small tray on the side board and soon had it piled with snacks of varying taste and set off to the den to feed the children.

Sirius was still lost in his head, chasing over the last couple of minutes trying to understand what it was that Molly had seen but kept coming back empty handed.

Gentle fingers pushed his hair to one side, edging around a long scratch and ghosting at its edges as it disappeared into his hairline very near his temple.

"Moony I—" Sirius started until his eyes focused and he saw Snape's concentrating face looming over his. He stopped and bit his tongue to keep from saying something nasty on reflex. Snape either hadn't heard him or chose to ignore it as he kept carefully checking each scratch near his right eye. The soft touch was deliberate and very cautious. Sirius felt gooseflesh rise on his arms.

It was soothing, except for the mild sparks of pain now and then at a particularly sensitive spot. Sirius frowned as he unconsciously relaxed back into the chair. His neck gave a particularly nasty twinge and he winced.

"Sorry," Severus muttered, withdrawing his hand a fraction of an inch. His eyes hardened as he realized he had apologized and he continued with a much more deliberate tracing and less stroking touches.

"'S just my neck," Sirius muttered back, trying to find anything else to focus on but Snape.

"Nearly done," Remus said pleasantly as he wrung out a dish-rag and wiped the dribbled mess from the tabletop.

Sirius flicked his gaze to Snape. The dark wizard nodded his agreement and moved to check Sirius' left eye. The tracing fingers and bites of pain were too much. Sirius jerked his head from Snape's grasp and stood, looking sheepish and uncomfortable.

"Excuse me," he mumbled uneasily and darted away, leaving Snape scowling and Remus blinking after him.

"He's been like that," Remus sighed softly, wiping down the table and bringing the bowl to the sink.

"Irritating? Infuriating?" Severus supplied with grunt.

"No," Remus smiled a little, "twitchy… Has been since last night."

Severus stiffened and stared vacantly toward the window.

Remus paused, giving Snape a once over and sat down beside the standing man. "Something about that scuffle isn't it? Something's happened between you."

Snape startled and denied it.

"Come on, Severus," Lupin sighed. "Don't pretend something didn't. He's been jumpy and you're the same. Did he say something awful?" Remus paused and considered, "Did you?"

"Nothing of the sort," Severus muttered.

Lupin sat back, searching, and slowly his eyebrow rose. "An understanding then… a painful understanding?" Snape did not answer and Remus took it as a small affirmation.

Remus stood and walked calmly from the kitchen, his heart was beating hard in his chest. A squirm of unaltered joy warmed his stomach. If Severus and Sirius could learn to understand each other they might just stop screaming at each other long enough to let him love them both. It was a stretch, his head and heart both knew it, but it was something.

He found Sirius in the abandoned bedroom on the third floor. He was scooping random things into a pile and muttering to himself.

Remus cleared his throat and Sirius smiled as he held aloft a battered journal of all the pranks the Marauders had pulled, "Do you suppose Harry might like this?"

"I'm sure he would," Remus agreed, taking it reverently from Sirius' hands.

"I thought so too," Sirius agreed. He pawed through the pile and began to chatter away absently.

"Pads," Remus interrupted, "do you think you could do something for me?"

"Sure, Moony," Sirius paused and straightened. Remus didn't look forlorn and serious so he offered a smile and waited to be asked.

"I…" Remus smiled briefly, "just a second."

Sirius scratched his head as the wolf practically skipped to the stairs and called for Snape.

Immediately, Sirius felt himself grow panicked. He couldn't handle Snape today, not after last night. The tenuous grasp of their truce was stretched to breaking point and one snapped insult could shatter it.

Remus returned, looking immensely pleased with himself and Sirius couldn't bring himself to ask what it was that his friend wanted.

Snape appeared as a silent shadow in the doorway shortly thereafter, looking irritated and expectant.

"What do you want?"

Remus' face flooded with color and he cleared his throat. "I hoped…" he paused and laughed nervously as he twiddled his shirt hem. Lupin took a large breath and beamed between the two of them. "I rather hoped for another kiss."

Sirius' face split wide and he laughed in relief. "There is a room full of visitors downstairs, you remember?" Sirius sidled up to Remus, pleasantly surprised at the boldness of his little wolf. It must have taken quite the stretch for him to gather it.

"I know, but they're suitably preoccupied… and it shouldn't take terribly long…" Remus blushed harder and stared at his feet.

Snape stood entirely still in the doorway, a mad flutter in his stomach at the request left him feeling light headed and suspicious.

"Just one," Remus muttered, glancing between them. "Please," he added breathlessly as an afterthought.

The longer the time stretched the more panicked the look on Remus' face grew. Sirius didn't care what Snape had decided, but he wasn't about to let Moony look so forlorn for such a simple, and pleasing, request.

He hugged Remus tight first, laughing breathless as Remus' honey eyes sparkled before he kissed him softly. Remus let out a heavy sigh through his nose and a low hum of satisfaction when Sirius stepped away.

Lupin turned slowly to Severus, eyes hooded.

Snape stood rooted, warring emotions bubbling in his stomach. He was surprised to find that one of them was jealousy. Remus took shuffling, tentative steps toward him and he found himself looking down at the grey streaked head before long.

His heart lodged somewhere in his throat at the enormity of this waif of a wolf before him. How Remus could ever have deigned to want him was still beyond his capacity to understand… and that the man could want Sirius just as strongly made him pause and consider. Again he was left with the uncertainty of what he believed Remus wanted. Surely Lupin didn't know for certain if he still turned toward them both.

Glowing honey eyes glanced at him, flicking across his face and trying to read him.

Snape knew he wouldn't, he was far too practiced at hiding his emotion. But the ache-filled breath Remus was drawing left him no doubt that Lupin was waiting tightly wound.

Long, spidery fingers ghosted Remus' face and he felt a piece of him melt at the tentative caress. Severus bent carefully, pausing an inch away and breathing softly across his face: unsure, expectant, disbelieving. Remus swayed, licked his lips briefly and closed the gap himself.

It was slow and warm, Remus could still feel the ghost touches of Snape's fingers across his cheek, his hair, his neck.

Snape retreated faster than Sirius, but Remus was sure he felt far more emotion in it. He gazed numbly at the potions master for a moment and smiled shyly. "Thank you," he mumbled, too self-conscious and uncaring to wipe the extra damp from his lips.

Severus appeared stiff and closed off, unwilling to look at either occupant and instead glared at the hearth stones in the corner of the room.

After a long moment of silence, Remus carefully cleared his throat and spoke gently, "Now you."

Sirius gaped, Snape recoiled, Remus smiled expectantly at them.

"Excuse me?" Severus deadpanned.

"Have you gone mental?" Sirius fumed, eyes ablaze.

"Go on," Remus told them as though neither had spoken. He bit his lip and turned to face each in turn. "I promise you won't explode."

"No way, Remus," Sirius shook his head in vehement denial. Severus had paled so drastically it was a wonder the man was still on his feet from the blood evacuating his head. He looked far too enraged to speak.

"Please?" Remus tried, though his voice was small and frail. Both men looked mutinous and Remus rubbed his eyes. "Just once, that's all. I'll never ask again, we can pretend it never happened… just… please?"

Sirius shook his head, unable to stop muttering under his breath.

Snape's color was slowly filling his face again and as more of it rose, the more he looked about ready to explode—or vomit.

"I…" Remus paused, thinking quickly. "I promise to change… by myself… tonight!"

To his amazement, the shaking, colorful rage of Snape's face seemed to pause and his cunning eyes appeared to be thinking over his options in rapt succession. Remus turned to Sirius and pleaded with wide eyes and a wounded face.

"Come on Pads, I just need some encouragement yea? And I'll never be able to do it by myself without something to think about."

"And my snogging Snape is going to bring about a calm and blissful transformation?" Sirius exploded.

"You never know," Remus said defiantly. "I find that thinking of pleasant things makes the transformation faster…"

"Our kissing is going to give you a pleasant memory?!"

"Yes," Remus grinned, unable to contain the small laugh that escaped him. He spared a glance at Severus and to his extreme delight saw defeat on the man's face. Trust the academics, and promise of those things that Snape had wanted him to do for himself, to win the man's analytical mind over. No matter how much the man tried to think himself out of it, anything that pushed Remus to help himself could not be all bad.

Sirius scowled, grimaced and stalked forward. He grasped Snape by his robe-front and gave him the barest of kisses before letting him go and backing away quickly. "There!"

"Come on, Sirius!" Remus balked. "That isn't a kiss for Merlin's sake!"

Sirius rounded, throwing his hands about his head and began to rave like a madman. "You can't deny it was a kiss, Remus. You didn't make any stipulations, so it counts!"

At this point, a strong hand descended like a vice on Sirius' shoulder and he was spun about. He flailed, clutching at the first thing his hands struck and didn't quite have time to process the fact that Snape's fist was in his hair again and the man was diving down at him.

The impact nearly split his lip, but Snape mentally grimaced and forced Black's head still. If it was a kiss Lupin wanted, then a kiss Lupin would get.

Stubble burned across his skin and Severus unconsciously bit on instinct of pain and Sirius growled. The fists balled in his robe stopped shoving and yanked, instead. Snape snarled and matted both hands into Sirius' hair, jerking back his head and practically crowed when the animagus grunted and stilled.

They broke apart with a growl and a hiss and scrubbed viciously at their lips.

Remus stood blinking, eyes vacant and a wistful smile on his face. He blinked slowly and gazed between them, his face flushed with color. "Brilliant," he wheezed and quietly excused himself.

Sirius and Snape watched him retreat, both confused and irritated.

Sirius tramped after the wayward wolf, following his dusty footprints and rapped smartly on the closed door.

"Just a minute," Remus growled through the door.

A bit of worry mixed into the irritation. Sirius glanced back to the bedroom to see Snape's shadow falling into the hall, he hadn't yet moved. Was it possible that Remus had overstepped himself and gotten jealous? Darkly jealous, like the last time?

"Moony?" Sirius called, knuckling the door.

"For the love of Merlin, Sirius, go away!" Remus' voice echoed from the inside.

"Are you alright?" Sirius barked. How dare Remus get nasty with him after what he had made Sirius do?! "I'm coming in!"

Sirius pushed the door open violently and stormed in, stopping just short after the threshold and sputtered, turned bright red and backed out immediately. "Sorry!" He called hoarsely through the wood and retreated back to the room.

"Well?" Snape asked, tone clipped.

"Huh?" Sirius blinked. Snape pointed down the hall and raised an eyebrow, not quite able to bring himself to speak to Sirius again.

"Oh!" Sirius colored again and cleared his throat. "He's fine… better than fine." Sirius shook his head and laughed hard, nearly manic and wiped his eyes.

Snape did not look impressed and Sirius repressed the urge to take him down the hall to show him what he had seen—a flushed and panting wolf with his right hand buried to the wrist in his trousers.

"Let's just say that it will certainly do for a pleasant memory." Sirius choked a bit and absently rubbed at his lips again.

In the silence, they heard a muffled 'Oh, God!' and Sirius broke into the same panicked giggles again. Snape paled and looked away, now fully understanding what it was that was happening just down the hall.

Remus returned to them, unsteady, tousled and face aflame. He could barely look at either man but still managed to step past Severus and lean into the man's personal space, taking in a long, deep breath through his nose. Remus grunted, then did the same to Sirius.

"Thank you," He growled out, voice low and hoarse. That voice did wondrous things in the pit of Sirius' stomach; from the pinched, flushed face of Snape, it was doing well enough for him as well. Remus cleared his throat, though it didn't appear to have helped the gravel in his voice, "You still have company, Padfoot."

"Right," Sirius nodded, leaving the room in a fog and trying his damndest to remember exactly what had happened—minus the snogging Snape bit.

Snape watched Black's retreat and found himself suddenly uncomfortable to be left alone with the lycan. Remus smiled hesitantly at his toes.

Gathering his thoughts like fluttering millers, Severus tried to get his mind back on track. "You will attempt reversion again this evening?"

"Yes," Remus nodded stiffly, seemingly eased by the change of topic.

"Try another limb, or a few different sets of boney structure. I would not advise that you try a full transformation." Severus crossed his arms over his chest, clamping his hands down with his elbows so that his fingers did not twitch and give away his discomfort.

Apparently he failed, or Remus had known better, because the wolf sighed dejectedly and wound his arms around Snape's midriff.

"Thank you, again," he mumbled into Snape's robes. "I know it couldn't have been easy…" Remus laughed and turned his face into Severus' neck. "But it was wonderfully spicy."

_Spicy?_ Severus snorted and barely resisted the temptation of resting his chin on Remus' head.

"As mentally scarring as this all was, I do have to return to the school. I have orders from Poppy to fill."

Remus laughed gently, his breath puffing across Snape's neck and made gooseflesh rise on his skin. Lupin released him though and managed to look him in the eye as he smiled. "I'll see you soon…"

Severus smirked. Even though Remus had spoken a level sentence, he still managed to make the statement a question."Unfortunately, I will have to return this evening to be sure you haven't crippled yourself permanently."

"Of course," Lupin's smile widened and he ran his fingers lightly across the buttons along Snape's chest before turning to the stairs.

Snape watched him go and pinched the bridge of his nose. The over-thin man would drive him mad yet.


	24. Relapse

a/n: Afternoon all, new chapter with some more drama. Enjoy.

--

Remus practically glided back into the kitchen. Sirius watched him pass from the corner of his eye and fought down a gag as Snape whooshed through and banged out of the house without so much as a glare.

"You alright, Sirius?"

"Eh?" Black swung his head around and blinked at Harry. The youth smiled a little and nudged his glasses up his nose.

"You look a little sick…"

"Fine," Sirius shook his head and motioned back to the open books across the table.

Remus leaned in past Sirius' shoulder, the hard line of his chest pressed against Sirius' back. The animagus found it oddly difficult to breath properly for a moment.

"What are you two looking at anyway?" Remus rasped.

"Old photos of Hogwarts," Ron grinned, pointing out another photo of James Potter.

"Oh, lovely," Lupin muttered, still leaning across Sirius.

Black rolled his head and glanced up at Remus, he could just see the line of flush at the wolf's collar, and couldn't help a slow, creeping grin.

Grabbing a nearby book, Sirius thumbed through it and paused. "Here, Moony, isn't that prefect badge shiny on your breast pocket?"

Remus chuffed out a laugh—a husk of knowing roughening the edge—as he leaned down to look better. Sirius could feel the steady thump of Lupin's heart against his back and subtly leaned back.

The boys on the opposite side of the table were oblivious to the mild flirtation, Remus certainly was not. Whisky voice low and scratching, warm palm on one shoulder, hard, lean line of torso pressed against the other; Sirius had to resist the temptation of rubbing the side of his face against Remus' arm.

"I'm not surprised," chirruped Hermione, passing behind and into the kitchen with Molly in tow.

Startled, Remus and Sirius jumped apart like they had been caught at something far naughtier. Remus flushed deeply and excused himself to the pantry, making a show of looking through several biscuit tins.

Molly gave them both a curious look but did not seem to know what was happening.

"Arthur and Bill should be stopping by for dinner," She smiled happily and hummed her way to the sink of pans.

Remus popped out of the pantry with a tin in either hand and half a chocolate cookie dangling from his lips. "Bill? When did he come back?"

"Two nights ago," Ron replied offhandedly, still chittering away with Harry over the old Hogwart's book.

Molly rolled her eyes but nodded confirmation. "He's looking into some charms for Gringotts. Terribly boring stuff, he claims. I'm just glad to see him back for a visit." She smiled over her shoulder and roughly wiped her hands on her apron.

"Honestly Remus," She chastised gently, walking quickly toward him and tugging the biscuit from his lips. "For the state you're in, you should be eating far better than half a sleeve of cookies."

She plucked the cookies from his hands and steered him back toward the table.

Remus smiled and sat down where she pointed. Sirius smiled back and slithered his long legs toward the far chair, locking his ankles and drawing Remus closer by inches. The lycan squeaked as the chair jerked forward and scowled at Sirius as the animagus laughed heartily.

The children laughed too, though unsure of what was so funny.

"I'll be glad to see them," Remus muttered, not so subtly changing the topic of his poor eating habits. "For now, I think I should have a lie down."

Harry glanced up in worry, not so subtly searching his ex-professor's face.

"I'm fine," Remus assured, attempting to stand and glowering at Sirius as the animagus tried his best to keep him tucked to the table.

Sirius grinned, not the least bit put off.

Remus smirked suddenly, and it was so like Snape that Sirius felt a thrill of excitement in his stomach with an equal flush of nausea. Before he had time to narrow his eyes in suspicion, a heeled shoe pressed solidly into his groin. He tried to covertly slide his chair backward out of Lupin's reach, but the wolf had leaned forward in his shock and gripped the arm of his chair tightly.

"I don't remember this, Sirius… perhaps you can refresh my memory." Remus cocked his head to the right and smiled with complete innocence.

"Moony…" Sirius croaked, trying to swallow with his dry mouth.

"Wow!" Ron leaned across the table. The Hogwart's yearbook spread open to a page of collages. "What is it Sirius?"

The animagus struggled to look down at it for more than a second, whenever his gaze strayed from Remus, the wolf would press his toes in and turn his foot just so.

"Go on," Remus laughed lightly, "the children are curious too…"

There was a challenge written on Remus' face, a hard edge to his smile and an amber glint in his gaze that made the tightening of his pants harder to bear. Drawing a steadying breath, Sirius set his jaw and turned his face down.

Immediately the press of foot to crotch found new depth. Sirius had to suffer a moment of silence and pretend he was in deep thought before he could find enough breath to speak.

"Those were taken when we won the House Cup our fifth year." He paused to cough and clear his throat. Remus made an 'Oh' or remembrance and leaned further into the table, devious foot sliding to the floor while the hand at the chair's arm slid unseen into Sirius' lap. Five sets of eyes were trained on the jovial photos… while one set squeezed shut.

"Is that James there in that dog-pile of Gryffindors?" Remus pointed at a photo with one hand, while the other tapped a staccato rhythm against the zip of Sirius' jeans.

Sirius tried to plead mercy with his gaze. Remus was leaning on his free hand, chin in his palm and eyes narrowed in grinning amusement. "You were seeing that Ravenclaw girl at the time weren't you Pads?"

"I don't remember." Sirius breathed, sliding his hand from the table. "I think there's more on the next page." He pushed the book toward the boys who greedily lept on it and turned pages with vigor.

Sirius attempted to grab hold of Remus hand, but strong fingers enveloped his first and pinned it tight to against his crotch. The animagus scowled and shifted in his seat but couldn't escape the heat and grip of the wolf.

"I think I'll pop up to bed now," Remus said lightly, fingers flexing against the seam of his jeans. "Enjoy your visit." He turned to the rest of the room, "If you'll all excuse me."

"Have a good rest, Remus," Molly smiled, "There'll be dinner left here for you when you get up."

"Thank you." Remus nodded, running his thumbnail along the length of the bulge in Sirius' jeans before he stood and escaped up the stairs.

Sirius grunted, glaring at Remus' retreating back. He would have to do some serious man-handling to that wolf at a later time for some nasty payback… preferably when Tonks and Kingsley stopped by again.

"Sirius?"

"Yea, Harry," the animagus blinked and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The youth gave him a curious look and started to speak but Sirius stood and rushed from the room before he could say anything. "Just a sec…"

Ron and Harry shared a shrug and dove back into Hogwarts's history while one escaped convict bit his thumb to stifle a growl from the bathroom down the hall.

…oOo…

As the afternoon wore on, the children wound up in the den – thanks to Hermione's insistence – to work on their Transfiguration homework. Molly was just setting the windows scrubbing as Sirius mused, idly flipping through the yearbook in front of him.

"Molly," he paused, running his thumb across one eyebrow, wincing as he rubbed against a bruise. The Weasley matriarch turned her attention and leaned interestedly against the counter when Sirius placed a silencing charm on the doorway.

"Yeeees, Sirius?" She smiled politely and sat opposite him, waving a tin of cookies from the cabinet.

"What did you mean earlier?" Sirius waved a hand irritably to fill the space in the question.

Molly thought a moment, mouth forming an 'o' of recollection. "You mean about you… and Severus?"

Sirus made a face and frowned at the open book. Several pictures were laughing and grinning at each other. He scowled and slammed the book shut in retaliation.

"Would you believe woman's intuition?" Molly grinned and waved him off. "Alright, let me think a moment…"

Two cookies and half a cup of cold coffee later, Molly leaned back in her seat and fixed Sirius with a steady gaze. "Sirius, when you sat here, face dripping," she allowed herself a small giggle, "we had been talking about Remus and Severus. But you got a nervous, twitchy, excited sort of look on your face. Sort of like the time Ron did his first side-long apparition with his father… Now, I've seen my share of love-lorn looks, and yours wasn't as blatant as some, but it was the look of a man who had come to some sort of realization—even if you weren't consciously aware of it."

"But that doesn't say it was about Snape. Why couldn't it have been about Moony?" Sirius stole a cookie from the tin, breaking it into crumbles.

"Oh Sirius," Molly sighed softly and rested a hand over his, stilling the cookie massacre and getting the man's full attention. "When have you _ever_ been shy and uncertain about Remus? He is one of your oldest and dearest friends. You think of his feelings—most of the time—before you act, but you have always, _always_ been frank with him. Besides, man, you practically danced up those basement stairs not long ago with Remus's hand clutched in yours."

Sirius smiled briefly. "I'd nearly forgotten about that."

"So it had to be Severus," Molly continued quietly. "Because there has never been anything easy between the two of you. Since you were both children you've fought tooth and nail—most of the stories I've heard from you, mind."

"So why now? Why him?" Sirius flinched and looked over his shoulder as one of the children ambled past, Ron on his way to the bathroom.

Molly shrugged her round shoulders and warmed her coffee with the tip of her wand. "Who knows for certain? You've been working along side him to help with Remus, perhaps now you've had the time to see the good in Severus… the good he'd be for Remus. I've been defending Severus to you for years, Sirius, and it's been sliding through your pretty little head and back out the other side. Now, it's all been shoved under your nose, day in and day out. Even that thick skull of yours can't protect itself from that much onslaught."

Sirius rolled his eyes and bit a cookie in half. He glanced over his shoulder as Ron went back by again and gingerly touched his left eye as it twanged. "So, what do I do about it?"

"Well now…" Molly idly curled a loose lock of hair around her fingers, sipping her coffee and staring past Sirius' shoulder. "I do believe the first step would be talking about it with Remus. He cares deeply for the both of you and his input would be helpful."

Sirius felt a rush of pink to his face in the prickle of heat in his cheeks. He cleared his throat and played with a bunch of his own hair. "The thing is Mol, Moony… he, uh… If he had his way, he wouldn't break us apart."

"Well then, you wouldn't have to worry about hurting your friendship then."

"No, you don't quite— he'd want us together," Sirius leaned across the table and lowered his voice, "all of us… together."

Molly looked confused at first with her brow deeply furrowed before her eyes widened. "Ooh! You mean, you and Severus… and Remus…"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded. "Are you suitably horrified?" He grinned. It was rare to catch Molly so off-guard.

"Not horrified," Molly chastised lightly, "but certainly surprised. I… how… does Severus realize all this?"

"I don't truthfully know," Sirius bit his cookie again and sighed, blowing crumbs across the table.

Molly scowled and brushed the shared mess from the tabletop. She stood and took her mug to the sink. "Well then, I believe you have some thinking to do. Can you make a relationship work with either of them apart? Then, think if you can do the same with them together. Love is complicated enough without adding another."

Sirius nodded and rested his forehead against the table. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing…"

Molly paused on the way out, bending to press a kiss to Sirius' head. "Welcome to the world of love, my dear." She patted his shoulder and crossed the hall to check on the children.

…oOo…

When Remus woke from his slumber, the house was quiet again. Molly and the children had long since gone and left a plate of dinner for him in the oven. The sky was dusky dark, but not yet reached the peak of the night hours. Sirius was no where to be seen.

Remus paused to grin around his fork. Sirius was sure to be planning something evil as payback for that afternoon. Remus could hardly wait… though he was sure others would be involved and he'd be red as a beet for most of it.

It would be worth it however. He wasn't sure exactly what had come over him, though the growing reality of being in a sandwich with two raven haired men certainly had helped.

Sirius really shouldn't have been that surprised. Remus was one of the Marauder's for a reason, after all.

It was too quiet in the house. The clock in the den ticked loudly across the first floor, practically chipping away at the walls of Remus' sanity. The meal was delicious, though with thoughts of the evenings coming events dropping his appetite until what little food he'd eaten sat like a stone.

The muscles and boney structure of Remus jaw tingled as the memory of last night's transformation irked him. Severus said he would return tonight, but only after nine… what the man had to do was beyond Remus, though he could scarily imagine it had to do with a dark forbidding circle of robed wizards and dark hexes.

It seems so much had happened over the span of a day. Leaps and bounds of distance had been crossed between the three of them. They had touched, kissed, shown affection… and those parts Remus had been a part of, he could only guess at what Severus and Sirius had done alone. Okay, so affection might have been a stretch.

The thought brought a brief smile to his face and quashed the anguished dread that rolled about in his head like a tumbleweed.

The clock chimed softly and stirred the thoughts up and shook them away—leaves scattered across a breeze. Remus frowned softly at the plate of cold food. Perhaps now was a good a time as any. Eight o'clock… how utterly fantastic.

He put away the remains of his dinner–too much to throw away—and pretended he wasn't doing it to stall for time. The table was bare and sterile, the dull ticking looming back in until Remus wished that Sirius would come hobbling in to break the tension.

"Enough of this," Lupin whispered, voice seeming too loud in the quiet.

He pictured the scene of the night prior and felt a phantom weight of Snape's hand on his shoulder, imagining the soft, empowering glow of Sirius' blue gaze and tried to center himself.

Deep breath in…

Deep breath out…

A soft stir of magic curled in his stomach, the stirrings of the wolf. Remus could practically smell the earthy musk of the wolf's scent and his blood rushed loudly through his ears as his heart pounded harsh inside his ribcage.

Panicked breath in…

Shaking breath out…

Remus tried to focus on his hands, forearms, toes, anything to transform and quickly. The magic that swirled heavy in his stomach didn't feel like it had before. There was menace to it, a dark current of cold water in a rising tide. It swallowed up his organs, freezing his insides until Remus began to recognize it for what it truly was.

It had been a long span of time—thank Severus and all those who worked on the Wolfsbane potion—since he had felt the darkness that clutched the edges of his vision. Somewhere in his mind, he felt his baser instincts vying for control of his conscious thoughts. He wanted to eat, to fuck, to taste blood.

Panic. Full-blown panic.

Cold sweat soaked through Remus' shirt and he tried to grasp hold of the magic and push it back down, to quell it and keep it locked away. Dark thoughts pushed through his mind, hunting down Sirius, bearing down on him and biting through his shoulder. The pinch of muscle would jump across his tongue until it was severed, hot and thick across his taste buds.

"No," Remus screwed his eyes shut, pushing the heels of his hands into the sockets until stars glared bright behind his eyelids.

The magic pushed, heavy against his soft skin. With eyes wide in horror, Remus stared down at himself and saw the start of transformation twitch his muscles. Part of him lurched in sick satisfaction, the rational side of his mind wanted to vomit.

"Sirius!" Remus barked, willing the beast away, it wasn't the full moon, it wasn't!

"SIRIUS!"

Remus bit his tongue as a howl threatened to rip from his throat and he caught a fleeting moment of relief at the panicked scrabbling from the upper floors that signaled Sirius' flight to his aid.

The muscle along his forearm bulged in grotesque height. Remus clawed at it, trying to force it down or tear it out, whatever had to happen to stop this Hell.

"Moony, what's wrong?" Sirius came to a skidding stop in the kitchen, ricocheting off of the door jam and practically spilling across the table to hold down Remus' arm.

"I did it wrong!" Remus shrieked, eyes hot with panic.

"What is it? Did _what_ wrong?" Sirius tried his best to be calm and Remus focused on a large dust bunny that clung to the side of Sirius' head and felt a vague part of his mind wonder what he had been under to fetch it.

"Transforming! It hurts…" Remus gasped out, fingers clawing into the tabletop. He felt a nail crack deep into the quick and nearly sobbed at the small spark of relief it caused. "It's not the same, Pads… gods, what do I do?"

"I-I don't know!" Sirius watched Remus' face pale and the muscles in his friends face jumped, nervous ticks and twitches. The bone beneath his hands stretched, snapping cartilage and sinew. Remus bit his lip clean through and groaned deeply.

"Hang on, Remus," Sirius said sternly, sprinting across the hall to the den and throwing a fistful of floo powder into the dull fire. "Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Severus Snape's quarters!"

The fire flared high in stark green. Sirius thrust his head through the grate and howled into the room. "Severus?!" Nothing came back but his panicked voice. A small portrait over the hearth stirred and frowned, seeing nothing within the room. "Snape!"

Sirius withdrew from the flames, covered to the shoulders in soot and yanked at his hair in panic. He thrust back through and spoke in much less of a shriek. "Dobby!"

A second later a crack presented a curious house-elf looking around the empty room for the man who summoned him.

"Dobby!" Sirius barked, startling the poor elf so that he tripped over his pillowcase. "Dobby, please, you must tell Snape to come straight away!"

Dobby wrung his hands together, "Must tell Professor Snape, what, sir?"

Sirius thought quickly, "It's an emergency! Tell him… tell him something lupine has gotten loose." Sirius barked. He didn't wait for a response and withdrew from the flames again.

"Snape's out, Remus, what do you want me to do?"

Sirius ran though to the kitchen and felt his heart ram into his throat.

Blood smeared across Remus' face, pooling across the tabletop and ran in rivulets to the floor where it gathered in puddles nearly black. The lycan had his fingers curled into claws, digging the flesh from his bones in great hacking swings. The muscle of his forearm was beginning to shred and long deep gouges ran across his neck and part of his chest.

"What are you doing?" Sirius choked, unable to step further in at the look of raw hunger and horror that filled his friend's face.

"It wants you, Sirius," Remus gasped, digging his fingers deep into the tissue and growling. "I can't let it have you."

"Calm down, Moony," the animagus breathed, throat clenching against the bile that rose in his throat. He stepped into the room, skidding in a puddle of blood and caught his balance on the side of Remus' chair.

"Please don't touch me, Sirius," Remus whispered brokenly, tears suddenly bursting free and trailing down his face.

Fighting the urge to bolt, Sirius wrapped his arms tight around Remus chest and felt a dark boiling heat beneath his friend's skin.

Remus lurched in his hold, spinning away and knocking the chair to the floor. "Get out," he croaked, honey eyes glinting amber.

Sirius felt his knees buckle and couldn't stop himself from falling, even as he landed in a slick and felt the cold, thick wet of Remus' blood seeping into his jeans.

The fire in the den flared with a sudden and brilliant emerald that made both of their eyes sting.

"_Remus?! Sirius?!_" The loud, thundering baritone of Severus Snape crashed down on them like a fist through glass.

"Here!" Sirius practically sobbed out. Relief coated him to his toes and Snape streaked through the doorway, wand in hand and eyes two black coals on fire.

"Sirius—" the potions master gagged, eyes flickering between the two blood covered occupants of the kitchen.

"It's not mine," Sirius whispered, hauling himself painfully to his feet. "It's not mine," he repeated louder, clamping his arms tight around Remus as the lycan dug his fingers deep into his abused flesh again.

"You're lucky I'm early," Severus muttered, sounding far more put together than he looked. His hands shook as he pried Remus' hand away from the gaping tissue. Remus sagged and only Sirius' hold kept him upright.

"I'm sorry, Severus," Remus murmured.

"Shut up, Remus," the darker wizard frowned, voice flat. A short vial was plucked from one of the deep pockets of Severus' robes, the seal broken and shoved to Remus lips. "Swallow. Slowly…"

Remus obeyed, fingers curling and unfurling. The muscles along his neck and chest twitched, bunched and shifted silently beneath his skin. His eyes widened in panic as sleep and darkness pulled at him. "Sev'r's—"

"It's alright," Severus muttered, hands shaking as he set the empty vial on the table and wiped the blood from Remus' chin with the heel of one hand. "…alright."

He pulled a chair over and motioned toward it. Sirius slid Remus into it, keeping firm hold of the man as he slumped over.

Muttered words and wand flicks sent a smattering of vials and linens into the kitchen. Snape carefully took the ruined forearm in his hands and sneered. Several soft incantations, two drizzled potions and a wad of wrapped gauze left the arm mummified and bound, healing very slowly. Remus was practically catatonic, staring down at the work without so much as a whimper.

"I don't know what happened," Sirius interrupted the silence, wincing at how loud his voice was even to himself.

"Save it," Snape held up a hand, turning Remus' bruised face in his hands. He applied salve to the blackening marks and ran a healing finger across the bitten lip.

Sirius felt a hot boiling anger in his stomach. "I didn't _do _anything!"

"I know," Severus answered solemnly. Sirius waited for the barb but none came. Snape turned his steady gaze to him, no accusation, to regret, no anything to read there.

"Help me get him to bed," Snape said softly, gently levitating Remus. Sirius steered them upstairs, a hand on the unmarred part of Remus' chest, the other beneath his head.

Remus barely blinked as they stripped him and swaddled him in loose-fit pajamas and blankets.

"Pads?" He murmured, voice slurred. The muscles of his body had ceased to fight and it seemed that the dark part of his magic had wound itself back to hibernate. Sirius paused to smile weakly and transformed in an instant, curling his large fuzzy body tight against Remus' side. A twitch of Remus lips showed his pleasure at the accommodation and Snape didn't have the heart to make the filthy dog get down.

"Go to sleep," he told them both. Remus tried to grasp hold of Snape's hand but didn't have the power in him to do more than twitch his fingers.

Severus paused though and searched his face with dark, unreadable eyes. He sat silently in the nearby chair and drew it close, fingers curling around Remus'.

Feeling warm and comforted, Remus could hardly remember the panic of dark magic and drifted into a fogged sleep.

It was only Sirius who noticed when Severus grimaced and stood to leave minutes later.


	25. Tough Love

The blood pools in the kitchen hadn't been hard to clean away with a wave of his wand, but the copper odor remained

The blood pools in the kitchen hadn't been hard to clean away with a wave of his wand, but the copper odor remained.

Snape sat before the hearth in the den, head hung and forehead resting in the palm of one hand. He was slumped, hunched in a posture that surely left it hard to draw a complete breath. He wasn't entirely aware of his position, though, and could hardly have cared enough if he did.

The fire burned low, barely a passing flicker to move the shadows. The musk of Lupin's skin clung to his robes, a biting tang of copper where his sleeve cuffs had dipped into the puddles of the man's blood.

The cold, cunning Slytherin in him was trying valiantly to convince his mind that it wasn't his fault that Remus was currently laying in disturbed sleep and bruised and broken. Severus snarled viciously at that voice, making a weathered attempt to ignore it while the analytical bits of his brain were turning over pages of texts and trying to understand where it all went wrong.

He could have killed Remus.

If Black hadn't been there, fast on his feet and clever when he needed to be… Severus shuddered. He was never so relieved to have returned early from a Death Eater meeting. Dobby had apparated to him as soon as he set foot on Hogwart's grounds, tugging at his ears speaking in his fast, broken language. Snape's blood had run cold, but his legs had not. He hadn't even made it to the door of his chambers when he accio'd the first set of potions that came to mind. He'd had them all packed and tucked into his pocket at the same moment his free hand flung floo powder into his grating.

There was a reason the fates of innocent lives _did not_ rest in the hands of darkened, deprived wizards.

He should leave, send Poppy in, tell Albus he couldn't play this game any more… His traitorous body stayed firm in its seat even though his hands trembled.

The soft clicking of toenails on the worn wood caused Snape to start. Severus paused in breath, waiting for Black in dog form to snarl and charge him. A breadth of a millennia passed, and the dog stood still in the entry, ears low and curved backward, tail hanging decidedly toward the floor. Even in dog form he could see the swollen tissue around the dog's eyes.

"I haven't the strength to fight with you, Sirius," Severus spoke in croaked whispers. The dogs ears twitched but it did not move.

So he waited. Minutes passed into a quarter hour and finally Padfoot took stuttered steps toward the chair. Severus didn't even spare him a glance. His onyx eyes were fogged with thought, the lines of his face thicker with guilt and the weight of his choices.

Padfoot sat with a muffled thump at Snape's feet. The potions master blinked the haze from his eyes and glanced down with a scowl. Slowly, Padfoot's tail wheezed across the floor.

Snape snarled and sat upright. The dog shuffled forward, scooting on its hind end and kept its eyes trained on Severus' face. Slowly, Padfoot lowered his chin until it rested on Snape's boney knee.

After a breathless eternity, Severus stopped glaring and returned his gaze to the dying fire. Padfoot continued to look up, tail sliding soundlessly across the floor in slow sweeps.

A low whine made Severus start and he looked at the dog in confusion. Padfoot thumped his tail and leaned up, placing his forepaws on the cushion of the chair.

"No, you don't," Snape growled, shoving the dog off of the upholstery.

Padfoot's tail stopped wagging and his ears lay back. He bared his teeth and hefted half of his bulk onto the chair, back leg kicking for purchase.

"Get down you filthy mutt!" Severus pushed at the dog's angular head, but Padfoot twisted it from his reach and knocked it against Snape's jaw. The jar of impact and sparkling stars in his vision made Snape grunt and freeze. When he finally clenched his jaw shut and began his struggle against the furry invasion, Sirius was already curling uncomfortably about in the limited space and pressing his large side against Snape's chest.

"Get off of me," Snape hissed, jerking in the limited space but the large dog wasn't moving. Aches he had forgotten existed shrieked in protest and Severus mentally swore.

He collapsed back with a sigh and slowly relented. The bulk of fur was actually quite warm, it was… tolerable. "At least move your damned elbow out of my stomach."

The dog groaned and rolled, head resting on the arm of the chair and feet kicked out toward the fireplace. Severus allowed his head to fall back and closed his eyes. The dog's deep breaths made a lulling atmosphere and before he could struggle against the pull, Severus had fallen asleep.

…oOo…

In the dark of night—the reflective stretch between night and day, between decay and renewal— Padfoot woke with a crick in his neck. He rolled his head and bore witness to the end of an animosity. Severus Snape slept, however uncomfortably, with one long fingered hand burrowed into the thick fur of Padfoot's neck.

The dog kicked feebly twice before shaking his pelt and rolling onto the floor. Severus woke blurrily, glared at the dog on the floor and settled a bit more comfortably before falling back to sleep.

Padfoot trotted off, climbing the stairs and nosing his way into Remus' room. The wolf lay sleeping, far more comfortably than Severus. Sirius reverted back to a man and touched the warm skin of Remus' neck. The man twitched in his sleep, but did not wake. It seemed the healing potions were working well.

Sirius fixed the blankets, tugging them high and smoothed the hair back from Remus' face. His stomach turned as images of earlier flooded his memories. He pressed a dry kiss to Lupin's forehead, cheek, jaw… Remus' eyelids fluttered and a soft smile tugged his sleeping lips.

Sirius pushed his hands through his hair, staring down at his oldest friend and worried his lip. Remus slept on, color healthy, and breathing deep. The animagus kissed him again, just because, and ran his fingers across the lycan's face.

He left the room on sleep deadened feet and made an impromptu stop at the bathroom to empty his bladder. On the way out, he stretched and rubbed his face.

He stood in the hallway, looking first toward Remus' room, and then down the stairwell to the open doorway of the den where Severus sat upright in the worst sleep imaginable.

Sirius crossed the hallway, taking a blanket down from the linen closet and descended the stairs.

Severus still slept, head craned back at a horrid angle and body askew. Sirius stood in silent thought and moved his wand with a whisper. The chair stretched and deepened into a sad sort of make-shift daybed.

Severus woke with a start as he fell backward with the shifting and lept to his feet, wand pistoned at Sirius' chest. He took a great gasping breath and sagged when he recognized Sirius with a startled look on his face.

"I could have killed you," Snape croaked. He looked down at the malformed bed and quirked an eyebrow at Sirius.

The animagus gave him a crooked smile and shrugged. "I was just trying to help."

Snape eyed the bed with suspicion before prodding it with his toe. It stayed firm, if a little ugly, and he dropped into it with a weary grumble. One arm lay draped across Snape's eyes, his face set in a grimace that furrowed his face.

Sirius shook open the blanket he held and wrapped it loosely around his shoulders and debated in silence for a moment. With a grim determination that would have made every Gryffindor proud, he hooked one leg onto the bed and slid across, bellying up to Severus and twisting the blanket around the man, arm tucked tight around Snape's middle.

The potions master went still. "What are you doing?"

"Tucking in," Sirius drawled, shifting until he had himself tucked neatly beneath Snape's raised arm with his chin digging into Severus' breastbone. He waited for Snape to start raving and shoving him like he had done earlier.

To his surprise, Severus sighed and lowered his arm, fingers tentatively touching the tips of Sirius' hair. Sirius snuggled in as a gentle encouragement. The long fingers stretched, curling down to the scalp idly fisting his thick hair unconsciously.

Sirius sighed in content, freeing his hand from the blanket and burrowing his hand through the buttons of Snape's robes. The hand in his hair clenched tight, but Sirius didn't mind at the moment. He pushed through the layers of material, hearing the erratic slam of Snape's heart in his ribcage as he revolted against the invasion. Finally his fingers brushed skin and the animagus pulled Snape up tight and curled his arm behind, fingertips skimming over the layers of scar tissue of Severus' back.

"Must you always push the boundaries?" Severus growled stiffly, yanking on the hair in his clutch in punctuation of his irritation.

"I just wanted to be sure this was real," Sirius muttered, staring vacantly off into a distance that showed ghostly reminders of Remus' bloody face from hours ago.

After several tense minutes, Sirius refused to back off and Snape had yet to heave him from the bed. Sirius snuffled and sighed as he relaxed his hand. He stopped stroking the flesh of Snape's back and pressed his palm flat to the many scars beneath it. Under the glaring images of the night's horrific events, bits of Molly's wisdom seeped through the cracks. Sirius gnawed his lip and tried to pretend he wasn't curling up with Snape as a way of Sirius Black patented flirtation.

With a deep breath, Snape's fingers relaxed against his head and the pads of his fingers soothed the hard pull at his roots.

"Must you always be dramatic?" Severus huffed, carding through the tangled heap of Sirius' hair. He seemed to realize what he had done and jerked his arm out straight.

"Look who's talking," Sirius yawned. He picked his head off of Snape's chest and looked down at him. Snape squinted back, weary dark circles beneath his eyes. "We nearly lost Remus tonight, didn't we?"

Snape grunted, shifting uncomfortably. "Yes." The silence was heavy.

"But he's okay," the animagus said softly. "Moony's tough."

Severus smirked. "Indeed." His face sobered as his thoughts strayed. Sirius could practically hear his mind whirring.

Black worried his lip again. He didn't know how to help Remus and Severus was obviously torn over what was happening to their old schoolmate. He hated the feeling of things being out of his control.

"He's healing," he told Snape again, stirring the man from his thoughts. "We'll feed him and keep him rested. You can make him potions, I'll make… tea. We can find the answer…" Sirius' face was hardened with determination.

Severus laughed, it wasn't particularly loud and it wasn't _entirely_ cynical. "Gryffindor bravado…" Snape allowed himself another chuckle as he closed his eyes; hand returning to Sirius' hair as if drawn my magnetic attraction.

Sirius tried to be angry at the age-old jibe but didn't have the strength to with all the tactile attention. Affection… he'd forgotten how lovely it was just to be touched a little by someone.

Sirius snorted into Snape's chest. "Why is that?"

"Look at us you fool! We're sharing a bed for Merlin's sake. And we're being… agreeable." Severus grimaced.

"Well thanks," Sirius huffed. "I could just go upstairs with Moony if this is bothering your dark sense of morals."

"And have you disturb his needed sleep with your snoring and incoherent babble?"

"You could write love sonnets with charm like that," Sirius huffed. "Now shut up and be a proper master and pet your dog until it goes to sleep."

With a long, suffering sigh, Severus muttered, "Lucky for you I am not, or I would have had you neutered long ago."

Severus stared up at the ceiling, debating the direction that the night had sent the two of them on. He would be hard pressed to admit the ease that the scenario had played out. Had Lupin been well enough and awake to witness the scene he would have been proud. It made Snape believe for the first time without a doubt that the three of them could be able to make something work for the lycanthrope.

Snape breathed deeply, trying to relax back into sleep. His fingers curled into the thick of Sirius' hair, seeking the warmth of the man's heavy locks.

Sirius shook with silent laughter before yawning and turning deeper into Snape. He threw one long leg across Severus' own before falling into a light doze.

Snape shook his head at the absurdity of it all and cowed at how comfortable he actually was despite it all. He fell asleep not minutes later.

…oOo…

Sirius woke first. His arm was aching to the bone from fingertips to shoulder. With barely a wiggle of fingers, stagnant blood rushed down his arm and up again in a flare of white-hot needles.

"Graaah!"

He jerked his arm, realizing too late that it was trapped beneath someone, and that it was still wrapped rather nicely in folds of clothing. A stuttered crack of stitches and a sharp growl from the boney body beneath him made Sirius sit up, rubbing at his shoulder and blink muzzily at Snape.

Severus for his part looked partly shocked before groping at the opening of his shirt. "That is not the way to wake someone you've slept with." He smirked at the perfect fish-out-of-water gape on Sirius' face.

"Right, sorr—graah!" The animagus winced, shaking his arm and whimpering under his breath.

Snape muttered a soft 'tempus' and rolled his eyes. "It's barely two in the morning you ignorant mutt."

Sirius muttered an apology between biting his lip and whining piteously.

Planting his foot on Sirius' hip, Snape shoved him from the makeshift bed and swung his legs across the side. Sirius hit the floor with a whump and growled as Snape passed by and out the door.

Severus didn't bother with the light in the bathroom. He stumbled his way to the toilet and fingered the new frayed hole of his shirt seam. Sleeping cuddled with Sirius Black of all people… if he were honest with himself, he'd admit it was actually one of the better sleeps he'd had in weeks. He wouldn't be _that_ honest with himself though, so he settled for acknowledging that sleeping on the make-shift bed was better than upright in a stiff chair; even if he had to contend with Sirius Black to do it.

Snape went up the stairs and pushed open Remus' door. The wolf lay on his side, breathing lightly through his open mouth. Severus touched the man's good wrist, counting the beats.

"Mmm?" Remus stirred and attempted to roll away.

"Hold still," Severus muttered, tightening his grasp and flicking his gaze to Remus' face and back again.

"Sorry," Lupin muttered.

Snape touched Remus' forehead. He seemed to be doing much better. Remus gave him a rough, sleepy smile and nuzzled back into his pillows.

Minutes passed and Severus stood like a wraith in the shadow, staring down at Remus with a war of emotion in his dark gaze.

"'vrus?" Remus mumbled, blinking through the haze of his sleep-fogged vision. "'s matter?"

The potions master said nothing, didn't even move.

Remus struggled to turn over and started to sit upright, but Severus stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing," Severus mumbled, gently—but firmly—pushing Lupin back to the bed. Snape didn't take his hand away, but turned it and traced the fresh stubble on Remus' jaw with the tips of his fingers.

Remus sighed happily, a question on his face that he didn't voice. Snape ignored it, touched Lupin's lips and sat at the edge of the mattress. Without a word, he lay down beside him and drew him up close. Remus curled blissfully into him, making a note to ask about this later.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Remus slurred into his collar.

Severus sighed, "Of course."

Remus fisted his hand beneath his chin, curling Severus' hair between his fingers. It was nice, _very_ nice to be held when he was feeling so fantastically shitty. He had actually expected Sirius to be the one here cuddling him in the middle of the night, but he was hardly going to complain with how snuggly Severus had him held against his chest.

Lupin was just starting to drift off when Severus carefully picked himself out of Remus' grasp.

Snape came to a jarring halt halfway across Remus' body, one foot on the floor, the opposite knee pressed into the mattress across Lupin's hips. He mirrored the frown of Remus' face.

"Leaving so soon?" Remus pouted.

"You will hardly rest properly if you try to stay in the same position all night for fear I'd get up and leave," Severus grumbled, "so I'm cutting out the middle and letting you get the rest you need."

"Fair enough," Remus huffed, fingers tightening in Snape's robe. There was an unusual pucker at its front where three or four of the buttons were undone, Remus hadn't noticed until now.

Snape raised an eyebrow and Lupin gave a long, put-out sigh and relaxed his grip, allowing his hand to fall back to his own stomach. Severus stayed poised over him for another long moment, the relative calm of the late-night grew suddenly sharper.

Remus felt his breath shallow, his head swimming with the loss of proper oxygen. Severus stayed hovering, eyes intense.

Lupin felt his stomach lurch and something lower twitch. A dark coil of heat swirled in his stomach but before he could summon the courage to haul Severus back to the bed, the potions master bowed paused just millimeters from Remus' lips.

Warm breath ghosted Remus' cheeks; thick, dark locks draped across his ears. Severus took in a slow, shuddering breath that practically curled Remus' toes. He tipped his chin, waiting, expectant… Snape stood with a sudden rush and the loss of heat and proximity made Remus gasp and shiver.

"Rest," Severus croaked, jerking his robes and stalking from the room.

Remus balked, throwing a pillow at the door and turned carefully onto his side, running his knuckles along the bulge in his pajama bottoms with a hiss. "Rest… bah!" Remus turned into his remaining pillow cursing Severus Snape with every sibilant word in his mental dictionary.

…oOo…

Sirius was lying across the entirety of the bed when Severus made it back to the den. The blanket was twisted about his various limbs and he was starting to drool a bit onto the cushions.

Snape curled his lip and stared at him a bit longer, the slovenly mess of Sirius Black helping to cool his libido. A corner of the blanket hung from the edge and Snape curled it tightly into his fist. He snapped it and dislodged enough to wrap around his forearm while he planted his foot on Sirius' hip. With a yank and a shove Sirius tumbled spectacularly out of the bed and Severus snapped the blanket open.

"..the Hell, Snape?" Sirius growled, rubbing at his hip and scowling.

Sirius was rumpled, hair flung about his face and t-shirt askew. Blue eyes ablaze scowled past a face of scruff and Severus mentally swore at the heat that crept up his neck. "You're hogging the bed," he snapped.

With a huff, Snape draped himself along the edge of the mattress, making sure there was plenty of room for Sirius to sprawl and not have to touch him.

The animagus rolled his eyes and plopped back to the bed, bouncing toward the middle and snatched back some of the blanket.

"Why are you still here, you do have your own bed?" Severus snipped, cringing at the other man's proximity.

"If memory serves me right, you have one upstairs too," Sirius grumbled. He rolled over, bumping into Snape. The man wound up tight and Sirius took a moment to wonder what the hell had happened. He had been curled around the man most of the night without a problem.

"What's the matter with you all of a sudden?" Sirius growled, glaring across the short distance.

"Nothing," Severus bit. He scowled at Sirius and turned onto his side to face away and put a modicum of sparse distance between them.

Sirius huffed and rolled over into him again, practically knocking Severus off of the mattress and onto the floor.

"Black!" Severus barked, grasping hold of the man in an effort not to plummet to the floor.

Sirius' hip jerked forward with a section of his jeans buried in Snape's fist. "I knew you couldn't resist me," he chuckled.

Snape let him go and stopped himself falling by the barest of margins. Sirius scowled, he was positive he had spoken his words dripping in sarcasm. Sirius grabbed hold of Snape's shoulder and spun him back into the bed, knocking him into his chest. "What _is_ you problem?"

Severus hissed slowly through his teeth. His gaze was intense and Sirius knew he'd punctured open a can of worms.

With sudden, sparkling clarity, Sirius knew Severus was going to hit him.

They fell to the floor with a bang that shook the cabinet across the room. Sirius' lip pulsed and bled a trickle. A knee to the gut, two hits to the ribs and a throbbing nose later, Sirius and Severus were in grips far too close to the hearth for proper comfort.

Sirius' fingers were already numb from lack of blood-flow and cramped in Snape's torn shirt collar; Snape's thigh quaking with effort to hold both of Black's down.

"I swear," Sirius heaved, trying to turn his head and ease the kink from his neck. Snape held his head fast with a fist full of hair and the animagus growled. "What is your problem?!"

Snape hissed as the raw rug burn at his lower back dug into the hearth stones. "Right now, you!"

"I didn't do a fucking thing!" Sirius growled, shaking the potions master a bit in his anger.

"You're _always_ doing something," Severus hissed. He jerked his arm back, baring Sirius' throat. The animagus snarled and bucked, attempting to loosen the darker man's hold. Snape snarled and bit.

Sirius went still, breath rough and nearly panicked. _He'll tear out my throat, right here!_ His mind went into a panic as the man's uneven teeth dug in just a bit deeper.

Severus jerked his head back, mind reeling. If he didn't know himself better, he'd have thought he'd… He could just…

Sirius panted, eyes wide as Severus' grip went lax and he could move his head. The man was disheveled, face flushed from their struggle and eyes ablaze. Snape's hair filled his fist well, and there was a moment of resistance before Sirius leveraged himself enough to mash their mouths together.

Snape gasped, head attempting to jerk away but Sirius' hold prevented it. The animagus felt more than saw the snarl from the potions master before his one-sided kiss became a small battle.

Snape felt his lungs ache for lack of air, Sirius twisted hard against him, struggling for his own breath and tried to push his way _through_ Severus. Snape's leg tightened, pinning the lower half of Sirius' body to the floor, the hand in his hair yanked and Snape reaffirmed his hold in Sirius' mess of locks.

One of them backed away first, neither sure whom it was. Sirius growled, eyes narrowed in silent outrage—at what he wasn't sure.

"If you're quite finished," Severus growled, trying to look put-out and not intrigued.

The animagus flexed his cramping fingers and snarled. "Bite me."

Snape smirked, "I'm fairly certain I just did," he drawled.

Sirius blinked… then blinked again before he laughed. Snape smirked and slowly uncurled his aching limbs away. Blood came rushing back in pins. He shook his hand, trying to dislodge Sirius' hair but a mat of snarls was caught on the buttons of his shirt cuff.

Two yanks and a plethora of swearwords later, Sirius finally realized the problem and stopped laughing long enough to help.

"Ow." Sirius winced and unraveled a length of hair from a series of buttons.

"Hold _still_," Severus cursed.

"Fucking _ow!_" Sirius glared and crossed his arms over his chest as Snape unwound the last of it. He rubbed at the side of his head where the pain lingered in dull throbs. Another hand knocked his away and before he could resist, Sirius was humming as Severus' long fingers soothed it away.

"What the hell just happened?" He whispered, eyes closed to the lovely sensation of being pet… again.

"Nothing."

One blue eye cracked open and gave Severus a doubtful look. "You have a lot of strange 'nothing' going on then. In my world that would have been a rather violent bout of snogging."

Severus stopped his ministrations immediately and crossed his arms over his chest. "I most certainly do not snog."

"Right," Sirius tried not to pout and stood with a wince. His whole body felt locked up and tired. "Come on then." He held a hand down to Snape, but the potions master ignored it and got to his feet under his own power.

Sirius lay with a groan, moving over to give Severus as much room as he wanted. He was nearing sleep when Severus finally lay down gingerly next to him. He smirked into his pillow when he felt the potions master drag the blanket across them both.

He pretended to be drowsily turning and curled himself around Snape's side.

Snape pretended not to notice Sirius' smile and fisted the man's hair before he fell asleep.

…oOo…

Just before dawn, Remus sat upright panting, soaked in sweat and terrified. His arm throbbed with the beat of his pulse and every ache on his body felt alive with fire and lye. The nightmare faded in jagged steps, leaving a film of foaming blood behind his eyes as a reminder.

Aches bloomed like star-bursts up Remus' spine as he rolled unsteadily to a sitting position at the edge of the bed. The room was chilled against his sweat soaked skin. The potions in his system had since worn off and pain seared through his forearm in needles of fire-ice.

Lupin liked to believe his pain tolerance was quite high for an average wizard of his age. This morning, however, he could use Madame Mim's Extraordinary Knock-Out Tincture, even if it was illegal in most wizarding communities… and he would have to grovel in Nocturn Alley to find it. At least it would put him under for the rest of the day.

It took six, agonizing, shuffling steps to reach the bathroom; seven more back to the bed where he sat at the foot to catch his breath and rub at the residual aching of his thighs. The clenching of his muscles during last nights fiasco left an echo of ache that was reminiscent of an hours old Charlie-horse.

He felt like shit.

The stairs that led down to the first floor took a solid pounding from his bare feet. It was closer to a stumbling with the help of the banister to keep him from plummeting than it was actual stepping. At the last step, he sat with his head between his knees to still the vertigo.

The door of the den was pushed half shut, and Remus took an extra moment for breath before standing and pushing it open. It was still quite dark with the heavy curtains drawn but Remus knew what he was seeing was not a trick of the light—or lack thereof.

Severus and Sirius had separated a bit during their sleep. Sirius was hanging precariously at the edge of the mattress, the knuckles of his left arm trailing the floor, body turned to the fire. Severus lay on his back, still and solemn in sleep but for one arm thrown across his chest, his fingers curled in the edges of Sirius' locks.

Trying to move quietly, Remus stood over them, smiling softly at the pair they made. Both pale as milk and dark as night. The casual touch between them looked separated only by motion, as though they had once been much closer until slumber pulled them apart. It did Lupin's heart good to see, such intense animosity of the past was hard to see in the comfort lain before him.

There between them was space for another, they would be wedged tight between the two but there was room. Remus eyed the length of bed carefully, feeling overexerted and bone-weary.

"Lay down, Lupin," Severus whispered, rising in one slow, fluid motion.

Remus startled and felt his wounds pound all the harder for it. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Sirius groaned and rolled over, falling back to sleep without a hitch. Severus snorted softly and laid a palm at the small or Lupin's back, carefully maneuvering him to the bed. With a vice grip to his good arm and another at his hip, Remus was cautiously levered down until he lay snuggled next to Sirius. The animagus didn't even seem to care who it was, just pulled up tight and curled around the new heat source.

When Remus looked up again, Severus was gone.

"Drink this," Severus' voice carried quietly. Remus started again, disquieted at how easily Severus was sneaking about so early in the morning. Regardless, he took the offered cup and drank propped on his good elbow.

Reclining back, he could feel the edge of the pain receding already. To please him further, Severus sat down to his right and stretched out the length of his body along the bed, drawing a blanket loosely up around them.

Silence stretched and the warmth of them made Remus drowsy. He turned carefully onto his right, curling his abused arm against his stomach and felt Snape's boney shoulder beneath his head.

"Sorry," he muttered, beginning to roll away, only to be stilled by Snape laying a gentle hand to the back of his neck.

"Stay still," Severus grunted, breath drawn in stiff pants.

"Are you alright?" Remus whispered, cautiously prodding at Severus' side. The potions master grunted and took hold of the wolf's wandering hand in a firm grip. "Severus…"

"Go to sleep, Remus," Snape whispered sternly. The hand at the back of his neck moved away, grasping, instead, at Lupin's elbow and holding him in place.

A bit worried, but far too exhausted to do otherwise, Remus did.


	26. Into the Wolf's Den

a/n: Some further plot movement... but maybe not the way some of you are hoping. :D I'm pleased to see continued enthusiasm for the story. The length usually means lack of interest as we go. Thanks to everyone for sticking with it.

--

At eight o'clock, Nymphadora Tonks came to Grimmauld Place with a massive box of chocolates under her elbow and a large smile on her face.

She passed the den with a curious eye and a shrug. It seemed no one was up and about quite yet, so she set about in the kitchen to make herself a strong cup of coffee.

The kettle had been easy enough to find—hanging from a hook on the hearth—and water was a given. The problem was finding the coffee…

Cabinets clicked open and shut, a few bottles of spices rattled toward the edges of the shelving but Tonks managed to shove them in and slap the door shut before they could tumble out.

Several pans shifted in another with the tinny rattle of their lids echoing loudly in the quiet.

"The coffee's in the pantry."

With a strangled squeak, Tonks nearly dropped her kettle and swung around in a panic, clipping Sirius in the side with the heavy metal pot.

'Ow!' Sirius mouthed, rubbing his ribs with one hand and his eyes with the other. "What are you doing here so damned early anyway?"

"Making coffee obviously," Tonks grinned. "Why are you whispering?"

"Remus is sleeping across the hall," Sirius looked pensive and scratched at his three day beard growth, "I don't remember him coming downstairs…"

Tonks smiled as she watched him scratch at his chest and thumb through the pantry. She set the kettle aside and turned a chair around at the table, crossing her arms on the back and resting her chin on them.

Sirius turned around with a grinder in one hand and a mostly empty bag of coffee beans in the other. "Come to think of it, Snape was missing…"

"Snape, eh? I thought he'd gone back to Hogwart's days ago?"

The bean grinder and small sack were dumped on the tabletop, Sirius pushed it toward Nymphadora and filled a percolator with water. Tonks poured the remaining coffee beans into the grinder, turning the crank with a grunt.

"Yea, he came back last night," the animagus set the cold kettle down, waiting for Tonks to finish to set it on the fire. "Remus had a rough night."

The grinding stopped abruptly, "Is he alright?"

Sirius nodded and rubbed his face, "For now, I mean, I don't know what happened."

"Oh," Nymphadora set her lips and finished churning the grounds. "Severus came here last night then? That must have bee rough."

Sirius shook the grounds into the metal basket and set the kettle in the fire. "It wasn't as bad as it sounds." The animagus smirked to himself and shook his head, remembering the evening in snippets.

"He mustn't have been badly hurt then," Tonks appeared thoughtful and nodded her vibrantly pink head. "That's good, not what I expected, but good."

"He's hurt pretty bad, actually," Sirius frowned.

It was Tonks' turn to look irritated. "Make up your mind, was he hurt or not?"

"His arm's tore up bad, and he's probably got a headache fit to split his skull," the animagus crossed his arms over his chest and leaned backward in his chair. "He's still sleeping, you'll just have to ask him when he gets up."

"But I thought you said Snape wasn't here?" Nymphadora huffed, crossing his arms over her chest too.

Sirius opened his mouth, brow furrowed in irritation but paused before he could speak. "You're talking about Snape?"

"Yeeees," Tonks drug out the word with a slow nod.

"Well then… you're saying Snape was hurt?" Sirius pointed toward the doorway with a slight frown. "What exactly am I missing here?"

Tonks laughed and got up to retrieve them each a mug. "There was a Death Eater meeting last night, it got a little rough come the end of it."

"Was anyone killed?" Sirius frowned, rolling his empty mug between his hands.

"No, thankfully. Snape managed to get the word out before anything very bad happened. Luckily it didn't look like there was going to be a mass killing anyway," Tonks took the bubbling kettle from the fire and carefully poured them each a cup of coffee. "We did see an increase of shoppers in Nocturne Alley in the wee hours. Curse salves and whatnot. I even bumped into Malfoy on my way out of the Ministry this morning. He was limping a little harder than normal."

Sirius took a sip and ran his thumb across his lower lip. "And Snape is up half the night with Moony, then gone before breakfast. He'll be dead on his feet."

"Better than being dead, period." Tonks grinned and took a hard pull on her coffee, sputtering a little; it was a bit hotter than she had expected. She grew grave as she set the mug down on the tabletop with a click. "Kingsley said Snape was bleeding from the temple when he saw him last night. You sure he was alright?"

"There was enough blood last night," Sirius muttered, "but none that I saw come out of Snape."

A solemn silence fell across them save for the sipping of coffee and tap of a settling mug.

The shaggy form of Remus Lupin shuffled across the doorway, he sat down with a thump into the nearest chair and lowered his forehead to his left hand; the right he extended across the tabletop, fingers twitching to the steady thud of his heartbeat.

"Morning sunshine," Tonks gave him a flickering smile.

Sirius poured the lycan a mug of coffee and slid it across the table. "How do you feel?"

"Awful," Remus croaked, "Where's Severus?"

"Dunno, he was gone when I got up," Sirius sat down in a chair adjacent. "New pain?"

Remus let out a bark of a laugh, grimaced and rubbed at his temples. "No, just the same old pain… on steroids."

Sirius gave him a sympathetic frown and sipped his coffee. "I don't think we have anything in the cupboard."

Tonks beat him to the cabinet and drew the door aside. A small note and two vials sat in the space where Remus' silver-free medication had taken residence previously. "It's a note from Snape." She cleared her throat as her hair lengthened, turning ebony and grew heavy with grease—moderately exaggerating the real thing—before reading. "_Both potions are for pain and healing. The green-inked label should be taken first, the healing quotient is higher and necessary._"

Remus looked vaguely amused at Tonks' imitation, the grimacing of his features waning somewhat. Sirius was grinning as he turned the potions around in his hands.

"Here, Moony," the animagus carefully pulled the cork from the end and poured out a quarter of the liquid from inside into a juice glass. Sirius shook the vial with a grunt. The liquid sloshed a bit in the glass but no more poured out.

Tonks stood giggling at the counter and waved the paper at an irritated Sirius. "There's more here. Ahem _Don't shake the vials, Black, they are metered in four doses each to be taken over the next 12 hours. The first over the next four hours, the second bottle evenly over the remaining eight; and because you cannot count, there is a time constraint placed on both bottles to prevent accidental overdosing. It is imperative that the doses do not overlap._"

Tonks snorted and pinned the note back to the inside of the cabinet door. "Imperative… who actually talks like that?"

Remus swallowed the contents of the glass and ran his tongue over his teeth. "Severus, for one."

Tonks rolled her eyes and sat at the table, sipping her coffee and wondering if she should bother making toast.

"Why does he talk to me like I'm a complete idiot?" Sirius huffed, replacing the vial in the cupboard and sitting down beside Remus.

"Well, you were shaking the thing… so he must know the inner machinations of your mind at least." Tonks stirred her coffee, grinning down the table.

Remus could note the striking family resemblance of the other occupants of the room at that moment. Tonks was a lovely young lady, perhaps at another time in another place he could have loved her.

For now though, he was too entangled in the older Black family member to think too hard on it.

"Where is Severus, anyway? He was there only an hour ago." Remus returned to nursing his coffee, leery at the slight rolling of the contents of his stomach.

"Popped off," Tonks answered. "Probably catching up on those firstie essays he missed last night."

"I hadn't intended to interrupt his work," Remus sighed heavily. He looked at Sirius with guilt etched on his face. "He said he would be busy."

"I don't think he was busy with first-year essays." Sirius shared a look with Nymphadora that set Remus' single good nerve-ending on edge.

A low rumble of knowing colored Remus' voice with a growl. "He seemed stiff and sore this morning…" Sirius shot a tight-lipped glance to Tonks and Remus huffed through his nose. "He was called last night."

It was no question, and the room fell silent with no need for an answer.

Sirius ran his knuckles down Remus' spine and sighed heavily. "It shouldn't be that much of a surprise, Moony. You've been seeing him spy for far longer than I have."

"When does the man sleep?" Tonks interrupted lightly, laughing in forced tones at her coffee mug.

"He slept last night," Sirius smiled at Remus, the soft edge of it slowly turning into a lazy leer.

"I know," Remus ran his finger around the edge of his cup, "he left me in the night to go back to you of all people."

The men laughed, missing the aghast look on Tonks' face. "What exactly do you two mean?"

Remus pressed a hand to his chest where the gouges had healed and itched with prickles of heat. "What's that?"

"You're sharing Severus?"

"In a matter of speaking," Sirius waggled his brows.

Remus shushed Sirius with a suppressed laugh and a stern look. "Nothing like you mean." Tonks looked skeptical and Remus winked at her. "Though I'm holding out some hope."

"I don't want to hear this," Tonks laughed, hands over her ears. And part of her really didn't want to know and pinched in pain. But a larger part of her, the part that wanted her friend happy, was elated that things seemed to be working out.

Remus yawned and bowed his head over his mug.

"Don't fall asleep at the table Moony," Sirius warned, nodding at Tonks and slipping into the den.

There was muffled cursing and the sound of moving furniture in the den. Remus grinned to himself and rested his forehead onto the table.

"Things aren't going well?" Nymphadora moved to a closer seat, tentatively running her fingers over Remus' hair.

The lycan sighed heavily into the wood-grain and flexed his fingers. "Not particularly."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Tonks smiled sadly at the back of his head. "Has Severus made any progress?"

Remus rolled his head to the side, pain etched deeply onto his face. "We certainly thought he had," he whispered.

Sirius returned, tugging the chair backward gently to give Remus time to sit up. "Come on, Moony."

The lycan groaned and frowned when Sirius stretched his good arm across his shoulders to help him to the den.

"I am not an invalid," Remus huffed, feeling Sirius wrap an arm around his waist in the hallway.

"I would never dream of saying as much," Sirius muttered. He pulled them chest to chest to scoot sideways through the den door. He grinned and pressed his nose to the shorter man's temple.

"I'm on to you," Remus chastised, not bothering to hide his grin of amusement. "Taking advantage of a wounded man."

Sirius stopped in the middle of the den with a mock hurt look on his face. "Remus I would never take advantage of you."

Remus was pleased to see the lumpy day-bed had been properly transformed into a lush queen with a heavy comforter and several plush pillows. He groaned in appreciation as he lay down and rolled carefully into the heap of pillows.

Sirius shook a thin throw-blanket across his friend and sat down at his side, bending low at his waist to set his lips to Remus' ear. "Besides, Moony, it's not taking advantage when you're willing."

Laughing, Remus wriggled until his arm was freed from beneath him and gripped at Sirius' hair, tugging him gently to the side and planting a firm, warm kiss to the corner of his lips. "Stop teasing me and keep Tonks company."

"I'll be back in an hour with your next dose of Snape's 'cure-all'." Sirius pressed a dry kiss to Remus' stubbled cheek and carefully checked his bandaged arm before leaving the man to his rest.

…oOo…

The sun was just touching the tops of the trees, but the heavy canopy cast a cool shade.

Severus ached in various places, and the uneven terrain he was walking through certainly didn't help. The forest was nearly black the canopy above was so thick. Foliage grew thick and heavy, the vines and thorny bushes grabbing at his robes.

Snarling at a low hanging branch that snagged hold of his hair, Severus drew his robe in tight and readjusted the bundle beneath his elbow.

He was worried about Lupin, the man was a powder-keg just waiting for a catalyst. It seemed no matter what he believed he could do to help Remus, it was never quite enough… and in fact seemed to hurt more than he was helping. The pattern for his life.

So here he was, on a long trek to the middle of Hell for help.

Severus had walked a half a mile in deep thought when he realized he was no longer alone. Without slowing, or showing any outward sign that he was aware of the company, Snape continued to pick his way through the forest, following the slightest path that was worn on the heavy forest floor.

The bark on nearby trees was badly damaged. Great chunks of wood were splintered, teeth, claw and weapon marks marred deep in the wood. A heavy musk permeated the air, Severus felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

A twig snapped sharply behind him, Severus drew up short, finger twitching toward his hip where his wand flickered lightly, waiting his command. A small grunt and curse followed the noise. Severus slowly wound his fingers around the handle, breathing deep, steady lungfuls.

"You would be better served to escort me the rest of the way than to stalk me," he called out in a clear ringing voice. The gentle sounds of the forest filled the new silence, leaving it ringing loudly in the still.

"Perhaps we would sooner eat you," a growling rumble echoed out of the dense foliage to his left. A deep rolling laugh echoed the sentiment from the right.

Snape's fingers clenched tight and he slowly drew his wand from its sheath. "You can do as you please," the words rolled out warm and genial, a foreign feeling to his vocal chords. "Though I'm certain Kasabian would be displeased."

The shifting steps from behind came to a sudden halt.

"Who are you?" The voice asked, gruff and impatient, no longer feeling the desire for play.

"That isn't your concern, _pup_." Severus snarled.

"I think it is." The voice to the right shifted and Snape could hear the beast snuffle. "You smell of blood."

Severus felt his stomach roil, he could practically see the hungry smile on the strange man's face. "Where is your alpha?"

Apparently he no longer held sway over the two as they began to close in slowly. Both were chuffing through their noses, scenting him and coming ever closer.

Suddenly a strong hand closed on the back of Snape's neck and he was drove face-first into a thick poplar. Air whooshed from his lungs and he felt one of the wolves press a knee into his back. Thick, heavy breath rolled across his face with the reek of rotten meat. "You smell of _lycan_ blood…"

"Get the fuck off of me you filthy _mutt_!" Severus wheezed into the peeling bark, feeling the bones of his chest creek under the extra pressure. The bruises on his ribs pulled and screamed. His lungs screamed for air, but he didn't dare draw breath for fear his ribs would break.

"Brother blood on your clothes," Dark, matted hair swung into his blurring vision. The lycan snarled in his face, digging his fingers into Snape's neck. His broken nails bit deep into his flesh, slowly pinching off his airway.

"_Enough!_" A deep voice boomed across the forest, scaring birds out the canopy and nearly stilling the breeze. Both wolves froze and Severus barely registered the panic on one of their faces before he was suddenly freed and falling to the forest floor.

He breathed raggedly in the dirt, face first in a growth of skullcap. His fingers curled tightly around his wand and he stood up with a jerk, using the tree to lean against while he took in what was happening.

Both lycans were cowering slightly on the narrow path, heads turned away from the man in front of them though they strained their eyes to watch him trying their best not to catch his gaze. The man they cowed away from wasn't a whole lot to look at. Neither tall, nor short; neither fat, nor thin. His hair was matted and cleaved away from his head in chunks, a halo of unkempt grey that was shorn to match the length of his beard. The mass of grey fuzz plumed out like a dirty mane.

One gnarled finger pointed at Severus and the man growled, "You attack the keeper of our history?"

"K, we didn—urk!"

Severus blinked and felt his bowels tighten, he hadn't seen Kasabian move, but in a flicker as fast as light the old wolf had moved and clamped one exceedingly strong hand around the younger's throat.

"You'll both return to the hovel and wait for me in my rooms. Don't speak to anyone, don't touch anything. If you so much as stop to _piss_ I'll have you flogged for it, do I make myself clear?" Kasabian's voice was low and rough. Both lycans nodded and soon disappeared into the forest with a whisper of leaves.

Severus stood glued to the tree as Kasabian took slow steps toward him. "Master Snape, I see you've come to return the book."

Snape nodded, carefully returning his wand to its sheath. "I have. It hasn't been entirely useful."

Kasabian turned his head to the side and smiled briefly, showing his broken teeth and narrowing his eyes. "No help you say? Come, I'll lead you into the den and you can explain it to me. Perhaps I can help you shed light onto the problem."

Severus winced and felt his back pop as he straightened on the path. Kasabian squinted up at him as they walked, his nose curling delicately at the sides. "You do smell of blood. Your friend's?"

"Yes," Severus admitted, carrying the book gently under his elbow, thankful that the two that had stalked him hadn't gotten hold of it. "The reversion went badly. When I made it to him, he was peeling the flesh from himself in ribbons."

The old wolf grunted and scratched at his beard, pausing now and then to peer deep into the foliage at either side. It set Snape's nerves on edge but they managed to make it into the depth of the forest where the sounds of a small gathering met them.

Lycanthropes of every age and race watched them walk through toward a slightly slanted hut. The walls were covered with the best skins of every kill ever eaten by the pack.

"Wait here a moment," Kasabian laid a gentle arm on Snape's and made his way into the hut. Severus caught a glimpse of the two wolves that stalked him and waited beneath a large elm.

Many lycans watched him with careful eyes. None looked pleased to see him, but neither did they appear hostile either. The door banged open and both young pups staggered out, looking abashed and muttering barely audible apologies as they walked past.

Kasabian cast a baleful eye after them and glanced out amongst the others before nodding Severus in.

The hut was sparse but clean and well structured despite its tilt. The old wolf settled down on a large mound of furs and motioned for Severus to sit on a low stool in the corner.

"While we walked I remember you saying your friend had harmed himself before you arrived."

"That's correct."

"And there was no one with him while he attempted to revert?" Kasabian frowned as he scratched through his beard.

"Black was in the house, but I do not believe he was part of the process," Severus jerked his robe around him, keeping his hands busy to keep from twitching nervously.

"That is part of your problem," Kasabian smiled benignly as Severus blinked at him. "Where is the boy's pack?"

"Lupin?! He has no pack," Severus stilled, realizing he needed to be careful what was said about Remus.

The true look of confusion on the old wolf's face did little to put Snape at ease.

"No pack?"

"He was bitten as a child and left for dead."

Kasabian straightened, a cold menace leeching from him as he glared into the distance. "This beast I know…" The old man cleared his throat and held his hands out for the book. Severus gave it over, glancing about for any sign of his defense book and finding none. "I do not doubt you have made notes on the important parts of this text; and I know that you have done what is right for you friend. However, a handful of potion and tough love are not enough for one afflicted with Lupis Disvestare Apostasis."

"How do you know?" Severus' gaze narrowed and he watched the wolf stand with a grunt and pull open the hut door.

A low whistle and chuffing bark came from deep within the man's throat. He returned to his seat, leaving the door open. Shortly thereafter a stocky woman entered, hair neatly groomed and clothing all but pressed. She smiled shyly at them and sat down next to Kasabian's knee.

"This is Adolpha," the woman nodded briefly and looked expectantly up at Kasabian. "Tell Master Snape of your sickness."

A faint blush crept into the woman's face. When she opened her mouth to speak, Severus expected a weak croak, he was startled when her voice was clear and vibrant. "I have been afflicted with Lupis Disvestare Apostasis."

Severus nearly fell off of his stool. "You… have…"

"Adolpha suffers no longer," Kasabian rested a hand on her head and the woman smiled happily at her lap, leaning against his legs and smoothing a pleat in her pants. "She was once a successful business woman… a muggle, in fact, and Catholic." A hard bark of laughter ripped through the old lycan and he apologized weakly to the woman at his feet before speaking again. "She was barely turned, through two moon cycles and believed as her faith had taught her. She was devil spawn and deserved no less than the last rights and swift death."

"With Kas's help, I worked my way out of the depression. He gave me belief in myself. And taught me that I could have my faith and still be accepted by my God for living as I am."

Kasabian stroked her hair and smiled at Snape with his broken teeth. "It was all a matter of learning what her weakness was, what was driving the wedge between her life as a fulfilled woman, and that of a healthy wolf."

"What am I doing wrong? Lupin nearly bled to death last night. I have fed him potions, told him what he must do. Transformations of piece and parcel; aligning his separated mind to accept who he is; I have him telling his darkest secrets and it's all been for nothing."

Adolpha shifted on the floor, her eyes widened in sympathetic pain and Severus was jolted again to see how startlingly close the color was to Remus' eyes. "His pack has not helped him?"

Severus frowned harshly but was saved a reply by Kasabian. The grey wolf touched the woman's hair again and shook his head at her, "The pup has no true pack." He then laughed, a sound without mirth and smiled sickly at Severus. "Perhaps pup is the wrong word. How old is he?"

"As a man or a wolf?"

Kasabian gave him a genuine smile at the question. "As a wolf."

Snape took a moment to think back. "Nearly thirty years."

"And his age as a man?" Adolpha interrupted, looking abashed at Kasabian's stern look.

"He is nearing forty," Severus said calmly. He noticed the widening of the woman's gaze and saw a shudder run down her spine.

Kasabian allowed her to rest her chin on his knee and pet her absently. "Your Lupin needs pack family. Even if you are no wolf, you are still important to him, and he to you."

Severus bristled.

"Feel free to correct me," the wolf interrupted, "but if you did not care for this man, you would have known better than to come to a wolf pack smelling of wolf blood."

Snape looked away and grunted. He was too exhausted and achy to think straight when he had left Grimmauld place. "So what does the pack _do_?"

Adolpha looked at him as though he had grown another head, Kasabian just smiled a bit and stroked her head. "When one reverts the pain is immense; far worse than a normal transformation. To force the wolf and try to contain it, it takes more than physical and mental strength. It takes the strength of the heart, a strength of soul, a strength of love."

He paused and ran the knuckles of his fingers across the woman's cheekbone and she blushed, turning her face into his hand.

Severus looked away, uncomfortable.

"Do not mistake me, I don't mean to make it sound so idealistic. During the transformation there was a lot of snarling, biting, swearing, crying… and then their was Adolpha." The woman laughed and curled an arm around his calves. Kasabian bent and pressed a dry kiss to her head and motioned the door. The woman stood and left without so much as a parting word.

"Master Snape," Kasabian sighed deeply. "There are three of you, yes?" At Severus' nod, he continued in a gruff tone. "Three can make a pack, small as it may be, but if there is enough trust, and hope, and loyalty between you, you can help your Lupin through this. You've done the easy part. The potions, the sharing… I imagine you are all sick of listening to each other speak."

Severus did not share the man's smile and frowned deeply. "Lupin has shared much of his past."

The wolf paused and processed the sentence. "So you have not shared your horrors with your Lupin? And the other man? The dog, he has not shared? You cannot have a true connection, nor be a pack without such honesty. To know where you all stand, you need to see the past and face it."

Snape ran a hand down his face and sighed heavily. "Where our pasts connect is a Hell that left us hating each other for decades."

"Then you begin there," Kasabian frowned. "Though you must not hate each other now, not unless my nose is lying to me. And my nose never lies." A brazen grin split the man's face.

Severus did not blush—thank Merlin—but he did choke a bit. "It is not…hate any longer."

"Then you are already ahead." Kasabian stood and threw back a pile of skins, revealing a weathered chest. He snapped the latch and levered it open. "Find out what the wedge is that separates the man from the wolf. You need to be there with him when he changes. You have done well to remind him that he is wolf, but don't forget that he is still a man. Share his emotional pain, share his physical pain… When the man is not wolf, his saliva is not contagious. When he is reverting for you, he will not be contagious. Bite, spit, scratch, scream, cry... it will all be painful, and cathartic."

"Ahh…" Kasabian withdrew a carefully wrapped bundle from the chest and handed it to Severus. Snape unwrapped it and saw with overwhelming relief that it was his textbook, cared for as gently in foreign hands as his own.

The lycan smiled gently and returned the ancient pack book to the chest before clamping it shut and recovering it in furs.

"I will also admit that the sex is phenomenal."

Severus let out a bark of surprised laughter. "Dully noted."

The man sat down and drew a skin across his lap. "Go home, talk to your Lupin, and pet your dog." Kasabian grinned, large and toothy.

"I appreciate the help you've given Lupin," Severus stood, smoothing his robes. He tucked his book beneath his arm and opened the hut door. "To be brutally honest, I hope I never have to see you again."

The wolf smirked and waved airily at him. "I take no offense. Especially considering both times you have come you have been roughed up without provocation." Severus shared his smirk and turned, stepping down off of the short porch. "Snape."

Severus turned to see Kasabian leaning against the doorjamb. "Bring your Lupin around when he is well again. I will not try to recruit him, but he should have a source for information if he needs it, and I extend the invitation to him."

Severus nodded, "I will tell him."

Kasabian grunted and watched Snape walk calmly through the small gathering and disappear into the forest.

"Brats!" The two younger wolves that had hunted Severus some long minutes before jerked to their feet. "Be sure Master Snape safely leaves the woods, he has a sick wolf to care for."

The men nodded and trotted off.

Kasabian shook his head at them, still so eager at their age, and welcomed Adolpha into his hut with a smile.


	27. To Understand a Snake

Sirius and Remus had spent the better part of the day sleeping on the make-shift daybed in the den

Sirius and Remus had spent the better part of the day sleeping on the make-shift daybed in the den. Sirius had been a good mother hen; doling out the medication made specifically for Remus, brought half-soggy sandwiches and bitter-strong tea in the late afternoon; even helped Remus with his bandages and waited patiently outside the bathroom door… just in case.

For as much as Remus hated to be needy, he was quite happy to have the animagus's undivided attention. Granted, he slept through most of the cuddling and minor endearments, but he knew instinctively.

As the late supper hour drew in, both wrestled awake full of aches and creaks from too long in bed. Sirius felt a dull pound around and behind his eyes with a complete lack of energy. One look at Remus cemented the fact that the poor beast was feeling exactly the same.

"Feeling hungry, Moony? It's going on eight…"

Remus muttered something under his breath that sounded a bit like affirmation as they crossed the hall into the kitchen. Sirius came up short when he saw a minor spread on the table, Remus toppled into his back and clutched at his shirt to keep form careening off into the wall.

"Looks like Molly beat us to it," Sirius grinned, sitting down in the nearest chair with a plate setting.

With a laugh strangled by a yawn, Remus sat down across from him at the other plate and breathed in the smells of spiced roast and garlic potatoes. Sirius had been reaching for the meat fork but had paused halfway and was staring at a small square of parchment in the empty plate that he had not noticed before.

In a familiar cramped, spidery scrawl was written, '_Remus sits here.'_

"Eh?" Sirius stood, leaning across the food and stared at Lupin's plate. Sure enough, a similar square of parchment lay on Remus' that read, _'Sirius sits here.'_ "I think we need to switch…"

Remus took the parchment up and read it, shrugged and stood.

As they resettled into their new spots, Sirius looked far off ease as he carefully sniffed his cup and took a bit of meat onto his plate. "D'you suppose there's a difference between my sitting here instead of there?"

After a precautionary smell of his drink, Remus took a careful sip and shrugged. "I dunno, but this elderberry wine is quite good…"

So, after a few minutes of being cautious they ate… then ate some more. The meat was savory and cooked to perfection, the potatoes whipped and light. No sooner had they set their forks down with contented sighs did the dishware pop away and mint-chocolate mousse sprang to existence in front of them.

"What's that git up to?" Sirius asked, prodding the sweet with his forefinger and licking it clean. He smiled brilliantly and delved in.

Remus smiled around a spoonful and sighed happily. "I don't think I care at this point."

Sirius snorted and nodded his bemused agreement.

When they could eat no more the dishes popped away again and Remus shook his head with good humor. "To think I'd worried about the man's health this morning…"

"I wouldn't write it off Moony. From the looks of all this, I'd say he's lost his marbles."

Remus scoffed and the two startled as a small origami crane swooped low across the table, unfolded itself, and lay flat between them.

"'Follow me'?" Remus read aloud, a furrow of confusion between his eyebrows.

The origami bird refolded itself and took wing out of the kitchen, leaving two gaping Gryffindors scrambling after it.

It fluttered up the stairs, hovering with patience at the landing and up the rest to the second floor when they seemed to catch up. Remus was never more thankful for the potent potions rebuild of his system then when they watched the damned bird hover up another floor. Both men puffed to the top stair on the third story and watched the bird whiz down the hall, unfold and flatten itself against a door at the far end.

"That's mum and dad's room," Sirius whispered, looking more fearful than curious now.

They walked down the hall, barely registering that the dust that used to be so thick across the floor was swept away. With a slowing gait, both came to a gradual stop outside of the door and looked warily at the smooth page.

'_Enter here only when you are ready.'_

"Ready for what?" Remus muttered, casting a quick glance to Sirius. The animagus shrugged and paced back and forth before the doorway, running his palms over his arms to stave off an imaginary chill.

"Pads?"

Sirius came to an abrupt halt and gave a tight nod.

Remus turned the knob beneath his palm and pushed without stepping inside.

It appeared to be a normal bedroom. The overlarge oak furniture and thick tapestries were a give-in to the Black family's taste and pure-blood fashion. A low fire was burning in the hearth and a long, low table set to the far left of the room. Upon it were several items, one of which was large and curved, a familiar item to be sure. Remus stepped in, feeling Sirius close enough at his back to be his shadow.

"It doesn't look like I remember," Sirius hummed, casting his eyes over the room.

In tandem they walked to the table and gazed at the bottles and stone pensieve in quiet contemplation.

"_More_ notes?" Sirius rolled his eyes heavenward.

"'_Drink this_.'" Remus smiled to himself, "it has my name on it." He laughed outright as he pulled the cork. "Do you have the distinct feeling that we've fallen through the Looking Glass?"

Sirius grinned, "I did wonder where the white rabbit came from…" He took the bottle from Remus and turned it in the light. "What's this then?"

"Hell if I know, give it here," Remus held out his palm for it, snatching it away when Sirius kept pulling it just out of reach. With a final turn in the light he drank it.

"Well?"

Smacking his lips, Remus set the bottle back to the table. "Pain reliever… mild healer… no silver." He grinned at Sirius and held out another bottle from the table. "This one has your name on it."

Raising an eyebrow, Sirius checked the page on the table and frowned. "I think Snape's gone barmy." Nonetheless he tipped the bottle without a thought and sputtered. After two deep breaths to calm himself, Sirius grinned. "Scotch."

"What?" Remus laughed.

"Scotch, the good stuff too. Single malt… Glenmorangie or maybe Highland Park." Sirius made an appreciative whistle and ran his finger in the glass, sucking the drop from his fingertip. "Wish I would've known, I would have savored it…"

Remus laughed and threw and arm over Sirius shoulders. "Maybe we can convince him to bring the bottle."

"I certainly hope we can," Sirius placed his hand in the middle of Remus back and smiled down at him.

The surreal nature of the night didn't dissipate with their respective painkillers. They shuffled a step down the table and looked at the last note.

'_View this.'_

"What do you think?"

Remus thinned his lips and stared down into the still water. Several silver filament threads floated about, looking relatively harmless as they hovered; fatherless thoughts in amniotic fluid. "I think… I don't know what to think."

"Well… no time like the present."

Trepidation made them stutter forward, Sirius pulled his hair over his shoulder to keep it from the water. He cast a last look at Remus and thrust his face forward into the pensieve; Remus following only seconds after.

Remus touched Sirius' shoulder as he gathered his bearings. The memory was dark and mist-filled, the terrain uneven.

The mist swirled and separated, the silhouette of a ramshackle building—leaning decidedly to the right—emerged complete with narrow footpath and weed-eaten fence posts. Through a cracked window-pane a flickering lamp could be seen.

"D'you suppose this is Spinner's End?" Remus muttered, hand clutching tight to Sirius' forearm. They slowly walked up the path, but paused in mild alarm as the scene shifted abruptly and they were then standing in the building, looking out of the same cracked window they had been looking into.

Sirius turned a slow circle and tapped Remus' shoulder, jerking his head to the corner. A young Severus Snape, possibly six, maybe older and malnourished, was hunched in the corner with his face buried in his knees. "This isn't Spinner's End," he said randomly, attempting to touch a nearby wall and panicking as his hand fell through it and back like a ghost.

"No?"

"No. I was there once, shortly after graduation." Sirius grimaced and looked apologetically at the boy in the corner. "I went and stoned Snape's windows after getting pissed with James. Lily was raving mad and made us fix all of them before Snape got back. I guess we were lucky he wasn't home at the time…"

Remus sighed heavily and crouched painfully next to the boy.

"What are we doing here then?"

Heavy, drunken footsteps stuttered down the hallway, making the whole room tremble. Severus' eyes widened as his head snapped up and he stared fearfully at the door. With the speed and agility of a petrified cat, the boy threw himself beneath his bed and all but disappeared in the far shadow beneath. The door flew open with a resounding snap, a crack in the wall groaned where the door handle hit.

"I can smell you in here boy…" A man that could only be Tobias Snape stood blocking the sickly light from the hall. A heavy current of gin soaked air met Remus' nose and made him cough. Tobias fell to his knees on the floor, grinning manically beneath the bed and curled his hand around Severus' ankle.

The boy came out spitting fire and kicking, clawing at what flesh and clothing he could touch.

"Good boy," Sirius muttered, fists tense at his sides.

"Come and see what I've got for you," Tobias grunted around the feeble blows, dragging Severus out of the room and down the hall.

Remus and Sirius quickly kept pace, unable to place the combined feeling of unease, disgust and nausea.

Tobias came to a wobbly stop in the doorway of a gritty kitchen. He dropped Severus and pointed toward the table. "A box there for you, on the table brat, go on!"

Severus clambered to his feet and scampered to the far side of the room, back to the wall and eyes toward his father.

"Ungrateful-" Tobias grumbled. He stomped further into the kitchen and pushed the box from the tabletop to the floor, the flaps dropping open mid-flight and crumbling on impact. Something within let out a painful yip and Severus' eyes welled with tears.

A sickly pup rolled out of the box, naught but bone and skin. Patches of fur were missing, its skin swollen and red, neither eye was open though even at the distance both Sirius and Remus knew it had no eyes within the sockets to look with. Sirius turned away, bending upon himself and forcing back a heave.

"A dog!" Tobias grinned, gesturing happily at the mangled mutt. "You see, I do listen!" The smile fell from his face and a sick grimace filled it. "Pick it up."

Severus stood on trembling legs, bottom lip in his teeth and face trailing tears. He stared at the sickening creature on the floor as it struggled to breathe, foamy pink bubbles at its nostrils.

"I said. _Pick. It. Up." _Tobias hissed, hand at his belt, already snapping the leather through the loops. Severus flinched at each movement and huddled on himself as the belt fell across the table in warning, the leather sounding like a gunshot in the still of the room.

A door slammed from somewhere in the house and the rustle of stiff fabric announced Eileen's presence even before she tumbled into the kitchen. "Tobais—"

The man whirled on her, belt twisted in his hand and snapped across her ankles. "You stay out of this, witch. I've brought the boy a puppy, ungrateful as he is."

Eileen scowled darkly and Remus elbowed Sirius to be sure the man noticed. Snape may have his father's lank hair and hooked nose, but he had his mother's fierce scowl. Eileen skirted the table and came up short, clutching at her chest and staggered back a step.

"_Pick it up, now!"_ Tobias snarled, belt whistling again, just clipping Severus' shoulder.

"Tobias, that dog is diseased!" Eileen shrieked, attempting to stop Severus as the boy dropped to his knees next to the quaking pup on the floor. "Severus, don't touch that!"

"That's a good boy," Tobias sneered, stepping in for a closer look.

Severus reached out a hand, dry heaving as his fingers touched the pinched, swollen flesh. The pup let out a shrill whine and kicked feebly.

"Severus, stop!" Eileen hissed, bending to retrieve him.

Severus turned a decidedly blank gaze to his mother and the witch paused, the boy looked down at the pitiful creature at his mercy and sobbed. Remus could not quite hear what the boy said, a flicker of green flashing against the peeling walls..

The kitchen scene fell away with a start, as though a black drop-cloth had cut the room from their vision. Sirius looked shaken, and Remus was sure he couldn't possibly look any better. "Did he… Severus, did he…"

"As a boy," Sirius swallowed hard against the bile in his throat.

"I'm not sure I want to see the rest of these memories," Remus muttered, setting a hand to his stomach. "What a way to ruin dinner."

Sirius smiled briefly. "So, do you think he's trying to scare us off or let us in?"

"I don't know yet," Remus smiled without mirth.

Another memory began to settle around them, slowly seeping into consciousness as though even Snape could not remember where the memory started when he drew it from his head. Hogwart's grounds bloomed before them in the calm stretch of night. Remus clenched his eyes shut, willing the memory not to be of the Whomping Willow. Sirius, it seemed, was hoping for the same as he let out a heavy sigh of relief.

Severus in the late years of Hogwart's was standing beside the lake, watching the stars reflect on the rippling surface. A head of glowing silver hair soon made it's way calmly along the edge, Lucius Malfoy came to a slowing stop as he reached Snape's side, both staring out across the water.

"If you are ready, Severus."

A long moment of silence passed between them, and finally Snape nodded once and they turned as one away from the water and walked toward the Forbidden Forest. Remus and Sirius kept pace easily enough, it seemed that neither of their oblivious companions was in any hurry. The forest was the same, and then again not. Roots tried to trip them, snagging at their robe hems and catching now and then in Lucius' long hair.

They paused in a clearing long enough for Lucius to aim his wand at his face and an ornately carved bone mask bloomed across his features. He took tight hold of Severus' arm and they dissapparated in a thunderous crack.

The ground reformed beneath Sirius' and Remus' feet as that of well-shaped stone. The building was drafty and bare, but here and there the signs of a well-made manor showed like the fine beams of moonlight that filtered in the mortar cracks. Several others were in the room, all wearing masks and standing in the guise of a circle, facing a lone figure in the shadows. Severus knelt gracefully and Lucius stood behind him and to the left.

"So you have come," a strong voice carried from the shadows. "Of your own accord?"

"Yes, sir." Severus replied, voice deep and low.

"You've come with the knowledge of my beliefs, and know them to be true?"

"Yes, sir."

The man in the shadows stirred and took a step forward. "And what is it, Severus, that I know to be the truth?"

"There is no blood, but pureblood. The downfall and death of all wizarding kind is because of mudbloods, their taint, their weakness… You are the power and strength to show the ignorant the true path to righteousness and that nothing but your fury await those who doubt."

A slow, sarcastic clap filled the silence. Tom Riddle stepped from the shadows, already showing the vague features of a snake. He paused before Severus, a slow smirk curling his face. "Well practiced, Severus, indeed." A few scattered snickers came from those assembled and Riddle held up his hand for silence. "I am lucky to have you, Severus. I am told you are a skilled potions apprentice, well on your way to becoming a Master."

"It is true," Severus replied, a red flush of muted anger at his collar.

"You are aware that to do my work, you must cast aside those idealistic rules of the Ministry?"

"Yes."

"You are aware that I accept only perfection, and that all mistakes you make I will punish as I deem necessary?"

"Yes."

Riddle steepled his fingers beneath his chin. "Have you cast an unforgivable?"

"Yes."

"Have you sought revenge for those that have wronged you?"

"Yes."

"Have you killed for your own gain?"

A pause fell like dead weight. Remus sought Sirius' hand without turning away from the scene. Riddle tensed as Severus failed to answer. "Have you killed?"

"Yes."

"Would you kill again?"

"Who do you wish dead, my Lord?"

A smirk of satisfaction split Riddle's face. "Very good, Severus… very good."

"Your arm."

Severus bared the flesh of his left arm, holding it out before him.

"You will bare my mark," Riddle's voice boomed across the room, "and when you feel my call you will not hesitate. When you are given my orders you will not hesitate. When you are faced with the prying eyes and ears of those that would oppose me, you will not hesitate… Look at me!"

Severus raised his head, and stared directly at Voldemort. "You willingly take this mark, knowing the full retribution of your actions should you knowingly go against me?"

"Yes, my Lord."

Remus turned away as Riddle set his wand-tip to Severus' forearm, and hunched in on himself as Severus let out a blood-curdling scream.

The scene faded to black as Sirius squeezed his hand. "You already knew about this Moony, why are you taking it so hard now?"

"I guess it's harder to forget about that part of Severus's life when you watch it happen."

Sirius nodded in the darkness. "And do you feel differently for him after seeing that?"

"Of course not!" Remus barked, turning a dark eye to Sirius. The animagus shrugged and held up his hands in self defense.

"I'm just asking," Sirius muttered.

A painful sigh pushed past Remus' lips and he ground the heels of his hands into his eyes, grimacing as pain lanced up his damaged arm. "What else is there to see?"

Sirius shrugged, rubbing a thumb against his own eye sockets. "The Whomping Willow? The murder of his father? Maybe he's raped and tortured children…"

Remus looked intermittently revolted and angry. "Sirius."

"Sorry," the animagus cowed.

A new memory started with a film of red haze over a familiar kitchen. After a moment, the red fog cleared, showing no signs of the mildewed box and sickly pup from mere memories ago.

The kitchen table was upset, cracked in two places but still in one piece. Chairs were strewn, dishes shattered and the curtain over one dirty window hung by a single hook. Severus was slumped in one corner, blood trailing from his nose and left ear.

The man, barely of legal age, stirred and groaned pitifully. With shaking fingers he touched his head and nose, grimacing at the blood that stuck to them.

Remus watched him try to stand twice, falling back to the floor each time and quelled the urge to help.

Finally, with a steadying hand on the wall and the other clutching his head, Severus stood with a shuddering gasp. The force started a fresh trickle of blood from his ear, but the Slytherin didn't appear to have noticed.

Sirius and Remus followed the man's staggering steps into the hallway. Pictures had been knocked from the walls, glass and frames crunching beneath Severus' feet. There was a sizable tear in his pant leg they had not noticed when he was sitting. A trail of flaking, dried blood coated the patch of skin that could be seen through it.

Severus came to a stop, wand dangling from his fingers as he turned into a dilapidated study. Tobias lay sprawled on the floor. Blood had seeped into the thin carpet, reeking of copper.

The man glanced around him, looking for something he obviously could not find as he turned back out of the room and slid along the wall further down the hall.

A bedroom door fell open beneath his hand, a rumpled bed and more torn curtains within.

Sirius and Remus had not followed, instead standing in the study doorway and looking at the dead body of Tobias Snape. The man had been beaten to death. A heavy lead lamp beside the man's head was crusted in blood told a testament to that fact.

"He bludgeoned him to death," Remus muttered.

"It's a bit more personal that way," Sirius replied in a hoarse tone.

A deep cry of anguish rocked the walls. The hair on the back of their necks stood on end and they practically fell over each other to reach the room at the end of the hall.

Severus was on his knees at the side of the bed, hands fisting his hair and body wracked with sobs. Remus stood over him, helpless hands hovering in an attempt to soothe a hurt decades old.

Eileen Prince-Snape lay on the blankets, blouse torn open, a bloody trickle down one exposed thigh and ugly hand-shaped bruises around her throat.

Severus jerked one hand from his hair, oblivious to the chunk of ebony locks that came away with it. His hand trembled as he grasped a ragged edge of his mother's blouse and drew it back across his mother's bared chest. He crawled pitifully onto the bed, curling around his mother and clutching her to his chest.

Her limp body folded around his, head lolling on his shoulder with glassy eyes open without sight. Severus sobbed into her hair, face streaked in tears and snot smeared across one cheek.

An undetermined amount of time passed, Severus lay in a silent stupor with his mother clutched to his chest. He barely moved, barely breathed, never blinked.

Remus was clutching hold of Sirius' arm, unable to turn away from the sight. Sirius had his arm across Remus' shoulders, lips pursed tight together and pressed to Remus' temple.

"My god, Sirius, how old can he be?" Remus whispered, heart shattered at his feet.

"He's still got a Hogwarts patch on his robe…" Sirius cleared his throat and shuffled them aside when the front door burst open with an echoing call of aurors.

It didn't take them long to find Severus. A young Kingsley Shaklebolt, fresh-faced and recently promoted stopped the others from trampling in and hauling the man off of the bed.

"Get the Headmaster," Kingsley muttered to the nearest auror while motioning for the others to lower their wands.

It didn't take long for the firecall to produce Albus Dumbledore. The man's beard was a bit shorter, and the hair at his temples was a shade of darker grey. The aurors parted for him as he stood at the foot of the bed frowning.

"Severus…" Albus paced around the bed and touched Snape's shoulder. The young man looked up at him, eyes vacant.

"What has happened here, my boy?" Albus lowered himself to the edge of the mattress.

Severus blinked at Albus, his lower lip wavered and with a blink his eyes cleared and he sat up and away from his mother. He stood and smoothed his robes, oblivious to the blood he smeared down his shirt front.

"A man stunned me in the kitchen. I woke only a few moments ago to find my father and mah—mother dead." Severus cleared his throat, staring down his nose at the room full of aurors.

Albus stared at Severus and raised one hand to motion the others away. The group dispersed and left the Headmaster and his student alone.

Silence stretched as Albus stared at Severus and Severus stared down at his mother. After a moment the Headmaster rested a hand on Snape's shoulder and gazed mournfully down at Eileen. "Severus…"

The boy's shoulders slumped and a fat tear rolled down his face and dripped from his chin.

"Severus, what really happened?" Albus murmured.

"A man stunned me in the kitchen. I woke only a few moments—"

"Severus. I know that what has happened here has nothing to do with some stranger. I will not judge you."

Severus shuddered, the small furniture in the room shivering with him. Albus shut the door with a wave of his hand and clutched hold of Snape's shoulders. "Please, tell me."

"He was at her, hurting her, and I swore, Headmaster, I swore he wouldn't touch her again." Severus growled, spittle trailing his chin and eyes flashing. He sobbed and sagged to his knees, a shaking hand hovering over his mother's form. "She was already dead when I got here," he whispered.

"I am so sorry, my boy," Albus whispered back.

Severus flinched away from the Headmaster's hold and stood with his chin high. "What will happen to me?"

Albus looked suddenly older and stern at the same moment, "You leave that to me."

The vision disappeared with a snap, like broken 8mm tape.

Sirius and Remus reeled, blinking around at the dimly lit room. Remus felt his arm throb and slowly realized that they were no longer in the pensieve, but standing again in the third floor master bedroom.

"Are you suitably horrified?" A soft, whiskey deep voice carried from across the room.

Sirius jumped and found Severus sitting in a high-backed chair in front of the barely lit fireplace.

A decanter of amber liquid at Snape's feet glinted in the firelight. A large brandy snifter was held in one long-fingered hand, half-filled with fire whiskey. Severus was not looking at either of them.

"Sit down, Lupin, you look like Hell." Severus muttered toward the fire. The whiskey touched his lips for a long pull before it dangled again from his fingers.

"What is the point of all of this?" Remus asked softly, sitting on a blanket covered chest at the foot of the bed.

A long stretch of awkward silence lay heavy between the three of them. Sirius shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, looking between the other men in the room.

"I am a product of my childhood," Severus intoned suddenly, voice laden with whiskey and eyes trained hard on Remus' bowed head, searching out his face in the dancing shadows left by the firelight. "I could have been more. Better."

"I—" Sirius started, only to be cut off by Snape's sharp glare.

"I have always hated you, Black. You've had everything I had always wanted. Friends, looks, pure blood… And I have always been everything you've hated. We were destined to be enemies from the very start."

The sharp gaze lingered, eyes glinting beneath the swaying of Snape's heavy locks. The potion master's wand snapped out suddenly and Sirius felt his heart jam into his throat, hand struggling for his wand. His tip wavered as he realized a chair had been conjured across from Severus at the fireside.

"And what great enemies we had been, as children." Snape's wand disappeared in the folds of his robes and he nodded toward the chair. Sirius, leery, sat down.

"…and now?"

"Not enemies… not really." Severus smirked, taking another pull on his whiskey. He plucked a second glass from a nearby table, pouring a generous helping and holding it out to Sirius. The animagus hesitated and Severus snorted softly. "It's the same as you've had already." He nodded toward the empty glass on the far table beside the pensieve. Sirius pursed his lips and took the drink.

"There is a part of me that blindingly hates you, Sirius." Severus muttered, swirling the golden liquid in the light. "The same part that identifies us as that percent unknown of abused children. The fact that not only do you know of what secret I have hidden for so many years," Severus paused his painful whisper to take a shuttering breath. He held it for two beats before speaking in a far more even tone. "You don't only know about it, you have also lived it."

Sirius winced, staring into the depths of his liquor and refused to comment.

Remus watched the whole exchange with a sluggish, potion-filled brain. A knot of apprehension turned his stomach, but neither man was yelling, and they weren't throwing hexes, so he let them be.

"Remus…" Snape muttered, a cynical smile on his lips. "The beast that tried to eat me."

The wolf's heart froze and cracked. Sirius had risen from his seat, glass fallen from his fingers to the carpet. Severus sat still as stone, whiskey held half-way to his lips and an eyebrow cocked at the animagus.

"Don't you start, Snape," Sirius spat, wand shaking in his rage.

"Sit down, Black," Severus barked. "We've had our chat, and if mind serves me right, it was _you_ that tried to feed me to him."

Remus looked pale, doubled on himself and cradling his abused arm to his stomach. "Severus." _Please don't._

The potions master's hard face softened and he stood, pushing past Sirius as though the man was not in his way. Remus shied away from him, turning his face away as Severus joined him on the cedar chest.

"As I was saying," Severus continued, ignoring Sirius' ragged breathing and furious face. "The beast that's tried to eat me." Severus carefully drew the abused arm from Remus' middle, turning his hand palm up and cautiously unwinding the gauze. Snape ran his fingers very carefully down the deep gouge, though it was healing quite well it would still cause a large unsightly scar.

"I won't lie and say that incident did not help push me to be the man that I am," Severus conjured fresh bandages and lay Lupin's arm in his lap. "But you and I both know that I have not hated you for it for the past twenty years."

Remus jerked back, startled as he was, and whimpered as his wounds pulled taught. "What?"

"I am not a man of emotion," Severus hissed, "but I had hoped my selfless creation of Wolfsbane over the past several years would at least have helped point it out." He paused, realizing he was getting worked up and being a bit rough.

"But you were still the same as them," he continued in a softer tone.

Remus struggled through his breath, air sucked through his teeth in soft whistles. His eyes scoured Severus' face in the shadows. "So you do—" Snape's hard gaze snapped up, "did," Remus corrected, "hate me."

Severus nodded once, stiffly, still cautiously winding the material around and around.

"But not because I was a werewolf." A sharp inhale of breath made Severus glance up, a smirk of satisfaction at the look of disbelief on Remus' face. "You hated me… for me."

"Yes."

Sirius closed his eyes, tipping his head back and breathed toward the ceiling. He bent at the waist, retrieving the decanter of single Malt and then his upturned glass. He poured a healthy swallow and downed it. "This has got to be the oddest form of cathartic discussion I have ever bore witness to."

Severus tucked the bandage and gently returned the arm back to Remus. He chose to ignore Sirius for the moment and continued staring at the lycan's bowed head. "We share a hell, the three of us, as separate people suffering at the hands of those that should have loved us. And I dare say that you've come out the other side far more rounded than Black or I."

"But your father," Snape paused with hand hovering over Remus', "he created a division in you."

"Your father killed your mother," Remus whispered, voice husky and dry.

Snape's hand retracted, clenching into a tight fist in his lap. "And he helped create who I am, the whole of me. He made me fear, and hate, and fight… Just as Sirius' father made him brash, argumentative and loyal."

Sirius raised his glass in silent agreement, swallowing the whiskey with a grimace.

"But yours wasn't always as ours." Sirius piped up. "Your father loved you," Sirius rested his elbows on his knees, smiling gently at Remus from across the room.

"It was your turning point. He loved you during the day, but feared and loathed you at night." Severus paused, letting his words sink in. "You've divided yourself in your own mind. He made you feel that the part of you that lurks in the night is not worthy of mortal affection." Snape sneered, clearing his throat twice before growling the next sentence in a low tone. "What I am about to say cannot leave this room…"

Remus and Sirius both perked.

Severus sneered, "Potter, Black and Pettigrew treated you right for the first time since you were bitten. And because of them, there's enough sanity left in you to save."

A flush slowly crept up Snape's neck and he swallowed dryly before staring hard into Remus' face. "But I intend on fixing you for good." Remus smiled shyly, watching in pleased curiosity as Severus tipped his head toward Sirius without taking his gaze away. "_We_ will do it. For you."

A bubble of emotion rose up Remus' throat and burst as a peal of half panicked laughter. "What?"

Sirius all but stumbled across the room, tripping across the chair and landing in a heap on Remus' opposite. "I think what Sna—Severus is saying, is that he's got an idea, and that we're all in it together."

"Oh," Remus nodded absently, confused and strangely confident. A cool, dry hand cupped his cheek and turned his head. Severus' intense gaze bore heavily through him. A dry, chaste kiss brushed Remus' lips. He sat straighter, surprised and prepared to reciprocate but Severus reached past him and grasped the back of Sirius' head. Snape rose, brushing the same feather-light kisses to both of Sirius' faintly bruised eyes before returning to his seat before the fire and refilling his glass.

A long silence spread across the room again, much lighter and with a prickle of new intensity. Sirius twined his fingers through Remus' and placed an open mouthed kiss to the back of his hand.

"Severus, why did you leave those memories for us?" Remus asked quietly, gently squeezing Sirius' hand for support.

"The first was to prove that I am as dark as Sirius has always claimed," he said smoothly. "My favorite defense book," he muttered idly with a wistful smile, "the only weapon I had against my father when I was finally old enough to read and lucky enough to throw accidental magic."

He cleared his throat and glanced over to see them watching intently. He could not hold the gaze and turned back to the fire. "The third, was to prove that I am also as broken as you believe, Remus. And the second… the second is to remind you of just whom you've gotten yourself mixed up with."


	28. Conspiracy

_a/n: Shorter than average chapter, and for that I apologize, but there wasn't another proper point to clip the chapter. I did a bit of a skip ahead for a future chapter, and I'm having a harder time than I thought writing them into a cohesive piece. But I'm not scraping either, just pushing through it._

_And in case anyone had wondered, I drew the tarot cards for this chapter exactly as they laid out. I found it rather exciting to see them match in. But, being an amateur, I wouldn't mind anyone elses take. _

_ENJOY!_

---

After an hour of easing silence, Remus and Sirius sat at the newly cleared table shuffling a deck of tarot cards and ignoring the pensieve that had been moved to an unobtrusive corner.

Severus sat hunched over the far desk, several candles bobbing about the man's head as he scribbled on a stack of parchment. Red ink smudged across the blotter and more than once irritated mumbling came from the bent potions master.

"You shouldn't be playing with those, Merlin knows what hexes have been placed on that deck," Severus growled, glaring over his shoulder before shuffling the essays around and continuing on to the next class's work.

"I checked them," Sirius grumbled, looking down at the worn deck in his hand. "How many was that Moony?"

"Six," Remus yawned, gently easing his arm to his lap.

Severus rolled his eyes and returned to his work as Sirius shuffled the cards once again.

"Ready?" He grinned at Remus, holding the deck out for the lycan to cut. He began to lay out the cards, a rough cross taking shape as he hummed pleasantly.

Death, Chariot, Seven of Wands… Remus stopped looking then and stared instead at an intricate tapestry ignoring how truthful the cards were as they came unbidden to the pattern.

Sirius made an interested hum in the back of his throat as he finished setting the final four cards and sat back with a bemused look. "I think this is the first time I've ever held any belief in divination."

A hard scoff came from the corner and Remus smiled at the back of Severus' head.

"Would you say you've hit rock bottom, Moony? Having a rough go of it." Sirius trailed off, staring at the pile of cards left in his hand and again at the placement. "Sybil would have a ball with this…"

"I don't want to know," Remus sighed, scooting back in his chair though not rising from the table.

"It's trash anyway, diviniation." Sirius scoffed and stood, dropping the deck of cards into the middle of the spread. "I'm going to see what we've got for treats in the cupboard."

"I think I'll join you," Remus mumbled, standing stiffly. "It's time for my last dose anyway."

As they passed by Severus the man glanced up at them with a sneer, "I told you tarot is naught but rot."

"Yea, yea," Sirius stuck out his tongue and headed for the stairs with Remus in tow.

When the two had disappeared past the landing, Severus set the essays aside and walked with stealthy quiet to the table. Delicately, he moved the pile of cards from the middle of the spread and stared unblinkingly down at the cards.

Adversity, struggle, challenge… the werewolf's reading was full of hardship. But there, in the future, the Magician showing strong hope against the misfortune in the form of a man with the will to have two faces. A charlatan or a zealot. Severus caught his reflection in a nearby window and sneered at himself. A two-faced man indeed.

Remus' hopes as a blazing Star, and his future as the Sun. Severus allowed himself a slight smile. Remus' greatest hope… was pure hope. That the lycan had in abundance, if not in just himself than between Sirius and Snape there was enough to force their outcome.

And that led to the man's card for his future. The Sun… the amount of relief that cooled Snape's blood at the sight of the card was beyond the sanity of a normal man. New beginnings.

Satisfied, Severus returned to the desk and had only just started marking a fourth year Ravenclaw essay when the two returned with crackers and jam.

"Would you like some help with those, Severus?" Remus paused behind him, a saucer of black current jam spread on several wheat crackers balanced carefully on his good arm.

"No, thank you," Severus replied mildly accepting a cracker that he sat neatly out of the way. "You need to eat and then rest."

"You'll have no complaints from me," Remus grinned. He paused a moment for reflection then gently tucked Snape's hair behind his ear before joining Sirius at the table.

Time stretched, the Gryffindors enjoying their snack and laughing quietly together while Severus suffered the stupidity of his students. Eventually, Remus had sipped the last of his tea and rolled soundlessly onto the covers, curling elegantly around a pillow and slipping into sleep.

Sirius sat watching him for some time, enjoying the lull and listening to Severus' idly scratching at parchment. He gazed around the room, still oddly unsettled since it had been his parents', but the nagging voice in his head kept pointing out this or that item that had not been there before.

A battered violin case sitting on the mantle place finally looked familiar and Sirius stood, popping the latches and staring down at the recognizable instrument. Suddenly intrigued with his insight, he turned on his heel. The tapestry beyond the table sparked a recent memory and Sirius winced as he turned back to Snape.

The man was oblivious to the scrutiny. Sirius dragged a chair across the carpet, sitting cock-eyed to the table and ate the cracker Severus had abandoned on the corner of his desk.

"You've got some fairly interesting stuff…" Sirius muttered, casting an eye around again and spotting the battered chest that had been in his old bedroom in one corner; and on a hook by the hearth was Remus's best cloak.

"I had wondered how long it would take before someone noticed," Severus grumbled scribbling a vibrant red 'T' across the top of an essay before shuffling the whole stack together and tapping it with his wand. The scrolls rolled together neatly and disappeared.

He folded his hands neatly on his lap and turned his chair around so that he faced Sirius directly, scrutinizing his curiosity.

"Does anything in here still belong to my parents?" Sirius asked, looking ill at ease.

"The carpet," Severus smirked, "and the draperies."

"Then where did the rest of this stuff come from?" The animagus took a harder look at the furniture.

"Much of it is recycled from other rooms of the house. Some are items of your possession, some of Lupin's, some of mine."

Sirius appeared thoughtful. "So you've made a sanctuary in the Master Bedroom. Why is all of our stuff here, then?"

"I had thought that much was obvious." Severus sneered.

Silence as the two watched Remus sleep. Sirius spoke again in a light, low tone. "Why didn't you tell us you'd gone to a meeting last night?"

Snape soured, "I was not aware that my extra curriculums were of any matter to you."

"Of course they are idiot," Sirius hissed as quietly as he could manage. He took a large breath and calmed himself. "You're one of us now, and in case you've forgotten, we tend to look after our own."

Severus scoffed, "And you thought you'd go in my stead perhaps? Explain to the Dark Lord that I had other pressing engagements and would he kindly accept my sincerest apologies?!"

"Don't be daft," Sirius growled. "We would have looked after you. Between the lot of us there's going to be a whole lot more bumps and bruises. Others are more than willing to look after you… you should know that at least. Moony practically lived in your room after you'd been—you know."

"After he mauled me? Oh, yes, Black. Being looked after as a response to obligation is so very fulfilling."

Sirius launched to the edge of his chair and gripped fistfuls of Snape's robes, shaking him just a little. "Don't play pitiful, Snape. You know exactly how Moony feels for you, and you know god damned well he'd have done the same even if you had the sniffles."

Snape extracted himself from Black's grip with a snarl but didn't refute him.

Remus muttered in his sleep, grimacing against his pillow. Sirius fetched him a blanket and by the time he returned to his seat Severus had unclasped his robe and slung it across the back of his chair. He looked far more exhausted then he had moments ago.

"Where were you this morning?" Sirius crossed the room, retrieving the whiskey decanter and glasses, even though he knew they had both consumed plenty already.

The scathing look Severus cast him made him think the potions master wouldn't answer, but the creases smoothed over as soon as the glass of alcohol entered Snape's palm. "I returned the book to Kasabian and we had a bit of a chat."

"And that's why all of this?" Sirius motioned absently with one hand around the room.

"Yes." Severus smiled a little before catching himself. "I'll tell Lupin about it later, but for now he doesn't need to be actively participating. In fact, the less he is informed, the better."

"I don't like the sound of that," the animagus scowled. "Why shouldn't he know?"

"We'll be doing most of the work." To Sirius' surprise, he saw a faint blush stain Snape's cheeks but passed it off as a flush of alcohol. Severus cleared his throat and undid the button at his neck. "Lupin's greatest hurtle is his belief that he cannot be properly loved because he is a werewolf. We will disabuse him of that notion."

Sirius chewed on the thought while Severus drank. "You should have no problem," Snape continued. "You have shown little regard to his wolf status your entire lives. So, though you will be a help in his recovery, it will be my interactions that will affect him the most."

Sirius nodded his head and sipped his whiskey. Severus stopped talking and was staring intently at him, waiting for some sort of response to the revelation. He sat blinking stupidly at the man until he realized Snape was indeed waiting.

"So care for him, show him some affection, that kind of thing?"

"Yes," Snape answered immediately, still staring. When it was apparent that the animagus was not going to speak further, he growled irritably and ran a hand down his face. "I will be requiring your assistance."

"I got that," Sirius answered.

"No, you idiotic mutt, I mean… I don't _do_ affection…"

"Oh. _Oh!_" Sirius grinned and waggled his eyebrows, "So I get to teach you the fine art of flirtation? Excellent."

"Black—"

"Oh, don't worry Snape, I won't tell Remus."

Severus growled, sneering over his glass at Sirius even as he drank.

"If you're about done with the orders, I have a question."

"Very well," the potions master settled, partly eased by the change of topic.

Sirius scooted to the edge of his seat, knees pressing around Snape's and elbows resting on the other's thighs. Severus sat back immediately away from the close proximity and scowled. "Are you still hurt?"

"What?!"

"From the meeting," Sirius asked, eyes carefully roaming for signs of damage or weakness.

Snape sighed heavily, "The proper actions have been taken regarding my health." He relaxed back in his seat, confident he could draw his wand before Sirius lunged at him.

"You're not lying to me are you?" Sirius smirked.

"That would be highly unproductive to our cause," Snape grumbled. He looked away to the far tapestry and ran a thumb back and forth across his lower lip in thought. "It was a far easier punishment than it could have been." He glanced back to Sirius and away again, unwilling to look at the compassion on the man's face. Healthy feelings between them were still too foreign to accept as genuine.

Eventually Sirius sat back in his own chair, closing the decanter of whiskey and checking on Remus.

"Get some sleep, Black," Severus muttered, standing and swinging his robe around his shoulders.

Sirius grasped his nearest wrist, stilling his motions. "Do you have anything pressing that needs your attention at Hogwart's?"

"I do have classes in the morning," Severus muttered, tugging against the animagus' hold. Sirius released him.

"You could stay, even for a short time," He saw Snape's reluctance and nodded toward Remus. "It'll help him knowing you've stayed a while. He'll still smell you on the blankets in the morning."

Sirius turned away, toeing off his shoes and tugging his shirt from his jeans. He pulled it off of his head and paused on the far side of the bed, looking toward a startled Snape. "I won't press you."

Severus watched the animagus lay gingerly next to Remus and smooth the blanket before rolling onto his stomach and tucking his arms beneath the nearest pillow. Severus shushed the firelight to dull flickers and stood considering.

Sirius was nearly asleep when he felt the bed shift on the far side. He grinned into his pillow and whispered, "Good night, Severus."

The shifting paused after a moment and he heard a slight sigh. "Good night, Black."

…oOo…

The week passed slowly without Severus returning to Grimmauld place once in that time. Remus was a bit disappointed but left the matter alone thanks to Sirius' persistent chatter.

They hadn't returned to the room on the third floor, returning instead to their own—though Remus had visited twice. One time he returned to touch the bedding they had shared and to remind himself of the hellish memories and promises of healing they'd spoken of. The other time he and Sirius had both gone to gawk at the amalgamation of their things.

There was nothing in the room that they would ever use regularly, but there was enough of everyone's items to fill the room and make it homey. Not to mention the warm fuzzy feeling Remus got to see how well their things all fit together.

Remus' arm was faring much better. It ached only when he overused it, the muscle still revolting the damage he had done. The outer tissue had healed leaving a thick garish scar that all but screamed of claw marks.

The evening brought a heavy cover of rain clouds. The skies were dark long before the sun would have set. It made for a muted, sluggish atmosphere—not that Remus was caring too much.

They were sitting in the den, Remus with a book on the arm of the couch and Sirius' head in his lap. He read idly, turning the pages with a lick of his thumb and threading his fingers through Sirius' hair.

"This article is a bit out of my league," Sirius muttered, turning the page of the magazine and nuzzling into Remus' thigh.

Remus paused in his book and looked curiously down at Sirius. "What are you reading?"

"_Pathos and Potent Potions_," Sirius muttered, turning to reach for his mug on the floor.

"It sounds like a serious read, why something with so much depth on a day like this?" Remus muttered, finding his place again.

"I never used to be inept with potions, just curious if I know my stuff anymore," Sirius muttered.

The door opened and shut softly and Sirius looked toward the doorway. A dark lurking figure moved by the door and the animagus had a mild panic, shoving the magazine deep into the cushions.

"What are you doing?" Remus laughed as Sirius sat up, looking flushed and embarrassed.

"Here you are," Severus' voice rolled across the den. Remus perked. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Remus smiled, tucking the book away.

Severus hmphed, shaking out his robes before flipping them off of his shoulders. Several chunks of charred wood and various pieces of burnt vegetation tumbled from the folds to the carpet. "There was an incident involving mugwort and toloatzin… specifically Longbottom with mugwort and toloatzin."

"Was anyone hurt?" Remus stood from the couch, worried for the students.

"No," Severus growled, sounding as though he regretted that fact. Soot rang the collar of his grey shirt, streaked his face in fingerprint dust, and fell in pills from his hair.

Sirius stretched and grinned. "You look a fright. Is Neville scrubbing the dungeons down with his toothbrush?"

Severus snorted and shook his head as he undid his cufflinks. "The damage was minimal but extraordinary enough that Albus had to see to any 'structural integrity'. In his diagnosing he cleaned most of the mess magically. Longbottom will be serving detention twice a week for the next month with Filch." Severus sneered, "Albus tells me I am too close to the destruction to be fair."

He stood fuming silently in the doorway. Remus was trying his best not to laugh. The situation wasn't dire, though likely frustrating for Severus.

Sirius waved his fingers at Snape, trying to idly catch his attention.

While Snape had been away playing professor, Sirius had thought about what the man had asked of him. It had taken proper thought; like when Remus was sleeping and wouldn't ask him why he was so quiet. Snape couldn't do Sirius Black patented flirting. Really, only Sirius was good at that. So, he tried to think of how Snape would flirt. And he got several headaches, drank a little and laughed like a madman twice. In the end, however, he thought he'd had an epiphany…

Severus blinked over at Sirius, watching the mutt wink, wiggle and all but bark to get his attention.

Remus was busy flipping through the book he had been reading, a bookmark in his teeth.

Severus cocked his head, a flicker of curious irritation crossing his face.

Sirius glanced at Remus, noticing that he was still searching for his lost place, before running his fingers around the collar of his shirt, tugging discreetly.

Severus frowned, one eyebrow slowly rising. Sirius repeated the action, nodding toward Remus, face creasing in concentration as though he were yelling as Snape with his mind.

Disconcerted and growing steadily self-conscious, Severus ran one finger around his collar, thumb catching on the button at the center of this throat. Sirius nodded aggressively, startling and shaking his head to the side as though shaking water from his ear when Remus looked over at him oddly.

"Felt like a doxie flew in my ear," he grinned stupidly, lifting a chunk of his tangled locks. "See anything?"

Severus rolled his eyes and looked down at himself—caked in soot—and thumbed open the first button. He could see a smear of sweaty dirt trailing down his chest. Sirius was grinning like a buffoon, fingers running down his sternum in mock steps.

"I don't see anything," Remus muttered. "Perhaps your brain finally rolled out."

"Moony, I'm hurt!" Sirius clutched his chest, stifling a hard laugh.

Severus smirked for two reasons. The first to praise Lupin for the sharp jab; the second to still his suddenly hammering heart as he thumbed open the next button on his shirt.

He needed a shower, that was a certainty. And now that he'd undone the first two buttons, he knew what Sirius was attempting for him. A small part of his brain was surprised the mutt had actually listened.

Remus' attention turned from Sirius' silliness to Severus as the potions master idly undid the buttons of his shirt. Snape's hands fluttered aimlessly from one button to the next as he spoke in a low tone. An expanse of grimy chest—too lean, perhaps, but pleasantly toned—peeked between the curtains of Severus' grey linen shirt. The man let out a deep, guttural sigh and Remus felt his abdomen tighten.

"Have you listened to a word I've said?" Severus muttered, stunned at how quickly Remus had glazed over. Sirius was sitting with a lecherous grin and covertly gave him a thumbs-up.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry," Remus muttered, suddenly looking at everything but Severus. A flush ran up his neck.

"Forgive me if my life is too mundane to hold your attention," Severus grumbled. He yanked the back of his shirt out of his pants and spun through the entry. The shirt snapped out, revealing a flash of the mélange of scars that made up Snape's back.

Remus glanced over as Sirius, "I should feel guilty that I wasn't paying attention, right?"

The animagus shook his hair back, stretching and rubbing his palm against his groin. "Feel guilty about, what now?"

"Pads," Remus laughed, swatting him. His voice lowered conspiratorially, "D'you suppose he did that on purpose?"

"What?" Sirius asked, laughing sarcastically, "Snape? Do something like that on purpose? You must be daft…"

"Lupin," Severus' voice echoed down the hallway. Remus stood to see what he needed, but the man darkened the doorway a second later.

He was shirtless; the button on the man's trousers were undone, leaving them slung low on his hips with just the edge of his boxers peeking across the top.

"I… Yes, Severus?" Remus blinked owlishly and forced himself to look at Snape in the face, not at the tantalizing line of fuzz that disappeared beneath those trousers.

"Have you eaten? Either of you?" Snape had his head cocked to the side, an innocently questioning face looking between the two of them.

"We, uh, had a late lunch," Sirius answered for them, motioning down at himself.

Snape blinked, glanced down and then back at them with wide eyes. "Excuse me," he muttered, fleeing back down the hall.

Remus rushed across the room, catching a glimpse of the man as he slammed the bathroom door shut. "Are you hungry?" He called.

Remus looked back in as Sirius and pointed down the hall. "I think you were right… he doesn't know what he's doing."

Sirius nodded dumbly. "I have to wonder…" Sirius shook his head lightly. Either Snape didn't really know what he was doing, or he knew _exactly_ what he was doing.


	29. Bedtime Tales

a/n: **Lusty Fluff Ahoy!** =D I hope you enjoy, and share your thoughts!

---

Severus stood in the shower, water trailing his skin and forehead rested against the grimy shower wall. Soot tainted water swirled around his feet and he lightly banged his head against the wall several times. He was a fool… an absolute fool to think he could behave like a careless paramour.

His fist hit the tile twice before his knuckles protested weakly and he dropped it back to his side.

He couldn't do as Black did; he did not possess an affectionate, playful personality. He would need to have a word with the animagus before he caused even more of a strikingly pathetic tease.

With his mind set to throttle Sirius Black for making a fool of him yet again, Severus scrubbed viciously at this skin to rinse the residue of a botched potion, disintegrated wooden table and charred earthen stone from himself.

A regrettable sigh left his lips as he stepped from the shower, casting several cleansing charms on his clothes to get as much of the mess from them as possible, and dressed in jerky motions and more grunts of disapproval as his mind replayed the scene over and over and over.

No matter, he'd have to move past it and ignore it for now. No doubt Sirius was going to make a mockery of it for the rest of the night. He'd steel himself for it, tonight more so-called 'healing' needed to be done and he'd need what fortitude he could gather.

Steam followed him out of the bathroom, robes slung over one arm. A warm, spicy smell came from the kitchen. Severus followed his nose and found Remus ladling stew into deep bowls. Sirius was at the stove, spatula in hand with frying eggs spattering butter at him.

"Feeling better?" Remus asked, eyes carefully guarded and turned mostly to his task.

"Quite," Severus sniffed, he curled his nose lightly.

Sirius turned from the stove, sliding an egg a piece into each of their bowls. He eyed Severus with a minor leer and a lick of his lip. "Hungry?" He husked out.

"What is this?" Severus sat, spoon stirring through the tomato sauce concoction, plump bits of meat being pushed around the bowl.

"Leftover Moldavian stew from Molly and Arthur," Remus supplied finally sitting across from Snape and catching his gaze. Severus raised an eyebrow and Remus blew gently across his spoon. "Charlie brought the recipe with him, says it's fast become his favorite."

Sirius blew out, waving a hand at his tongue. "Spicy," he croaked, drinking deeply from his water glass.

Severus snorted and took a very careful taste. It was quite hot, bitingly spicy and actually rather pleasant—for a heavy, greasy, heart-attack in a bowl. "I thought you'd all eaten," he muttered, sipping his water and glancing at Remus.

Remus smiled at his bowl and clarified while Sirius waved a hand at his tongue in an effort to cool it. "We only nibbled a bit, we waited for you to come—" _home,_ he'd almost said, instead clearing his throat, "for you to come 'round."

Severus stilled, spoon arrested halfway from his mouth. There was a warm wormy feeling in his chest and realized he felt touched. He blinked between them, feeling as though he should voice the feeling of belonging that touched him for just a moment.

"Christ I can't feel my tonsils!" Sirius gasped, ruining the moment effectively.

"Stop shoveling it in like a starved hippogriff," Severus grumped, taking another small bite. "You can't just fall face first into something this hot and spicy, you need to savor it; let it roll across your tongue and consume it piece by piece. It makes the pleasure of it long and heady. Eventually, you'll get used to the heat and the burn will seem only secondary to the enjoyment. You're only ruining it by rushing through."

Sirius sat partly agape, before running his tongue across the back of his spoon in what could only be deemed salacious. He winked across at Remus who was smirking at his bowl of stew, a suspicious flush at his collar. "You appreciate a slow thorough burn, eh?"

Severus finally understood the undercurrent of the conversation and huffed through his nose. "Bloody Gryffindors."

They ate in silence, Sirius taking far smaller portions and eyeing Snape with unmasked appreciation. It set Severus' teeth on edge and brought an ugly twist of doubt in his chest. Things had fallen into place far too easily between he and Black. It made his mind whirl with treasonous thoughts and set his hackles rising. _He isn't my enemy_, Severus reassured himself, staring owlishly at his bowl and then at the animagus and back again before schooling his features. _Not my enemy… Merlin's pants, Hell has just frozen over._

Remus cleared his throat, glancing at glimpses of Severus' face through the swaying curtains of inky hair. The potions master didn't look at him, but did continue to eat in small, precise bites.

The meal was quite heavy and hot. Remus spooned two bowls of ice cream and passed Severus a glass. He and Sirius would cool their palates with something cold; Severus, it seemed, would prefer to burn the rest out with fire whiskey.

"The evening is still young," Sirius chirruped, taking a large bite of vanilla cream and grimacing as his head practically froze. "What shall we do with it?"

Severus' head was bowed over his drink in silent supplication to the strength it would give him for what was to come. "Are you expecting Order members this evening?"

"No," Remus shook his head, "but there is always the marginal possibility that they will need to pop in."

Severus nodded, refilling his glass and standing, bringing only the snifter with him. He paused in the entry to look over his shoulder. "Are you coming?"

Remus smiled easily, standing with his bowl in hand, obedient as always. Sirius looked curious, slowly standing and still eating with too-large mouthfuls. "Where to?"

"I'm going to tell you a story," Severus muttered, turning through the door and heading up the stairs in his usual long-legged stride.

The Gryffindors followed, curiosity piqued. Remus felt his insides flutter as they continued to the third floor and saw Severus push open the door to their room. _Their_ room.

By the time they had caught up, Remus was nearly drinking his ice cream from his spoon and Severus had shed his robe.

Two plush chairs were transfigured from bed pillows, Severus motioned to them as he undid his shirt cuffs, hiding the uneasiness of his face with the wavering sway of hair. Remus sat, setting his spoon in his bowl and watching in detached interest.

Sirius sprawled happily in his chair, eating his dessert.

When Snape began to undo the buttons of his shirt, both men lost interest in food and stared in rapt fascination and gnawing curiosity.

"Wipe your chin, Black," Severus muttered, bent to his task and only facing them when his shirt was tugged free of his trousers.

"I thought you said we were going to hear a story," Remus croaked, eating a spoonful of ice cream to ease his drying throat.

"We are," Severus said stiffly, shrugging the linen free and laying it carefully across the low table where a pensieve had sat some days ago. He stood before them, his freshly scrubbed flesh so pale he stood glowing faintly in the firelight. "If you are ready, we will begin."

Remus nodded, eagerly setting his bowl on the floor to pay proper attention.

"Allow me to explain the rules," Severus cleared his throat, suddenly looking entirely uneasy. Remus frowned, ready to call off whatever the man had planned, but the look was gone so thoroughly an instant later he wasn't sure if it had been a trick of light. "There are many things that have wounded me in my lifetime, and most of them have left their mark. For now I will..." Severus paused as though gaining strength as Sirius' attention finally shifted full to him. "_You_ will each get to choose which story you wish to hear."

Slow dawning drew Sirius' eager face to an uneasy scowl. Remus stood, standing in front of Snape and staring him hard in the face. Severus looked back, eyes glassy and lips set in a hard line. A muscle at the side of his jaw jumped.

"You don't have to do this," Remus whispered, trying to catch recognition in Severus' gaze.

"I do," Severus answered, voice a low croak. He blinked, startled as a feather-light touch trailed a thin scar that ran horizontally from the ball of his shoulder, across his right pectoral and ended scant centimeters from his navel.

Remus bit his lip, tracing scars across the man's chest, two across his stomach, one that ran deeply parallel to his ribs; another that started at the top of one pointed hip bone that traveled beneath the cloth of Severus' trousers. He turned each of Snape's palms out, the pad of his forefinger trailing like butterfly wings down the sensitive juncture of Snape's elbow, landing with finality on a fairly thick scar that started just below the soft inside of the elbow and ran in a soft 'C' around the forearm muscle, stopping above the prominent wristbone at the top of Severus' hand.

"This one," Remus whispered, eyes again searching Severus' face. To his surprise, Severus smiled briefly.

"Of all of the scars that litter this body, you have managed to pick one of few that are innocuous." He touched Lupin's hand briefly where it still rested on his wrist and cleared his throat.

He crossed the short distance to Sirius' chair and showed the animagus the scar that Remus had chosen, ignoring the muted heat in the mutt's eyes and motioned Remus back to his seat.

"This is rather a boring story," Severus smirked, thumb running the length of the scar, rubbing at the wrist bone as he gathered his thoughts. "I had started residency at an Apothecary on the continent, an odd, drafty place. The Master I studied under had a wife that grew many ingredients fresh in a greenhouse at the edge of the property. The pay was abysmal but I received free room and board so long as my potions remained pure and strong.

"Late in the fall, his wife had gone on holiday with her sisters leaving me alone to tend the greenhouse. A venomous tentacula thought I would be easy prey, stretching out and coiling around my ankle. I blasted it with my wand and…fell rather harshly into a highbred of venus flytrap and white snakeroot. She had fed it the undesireable bits from a nearby butcher shop and it had an unnatural hunger for flesh."

"It bit you?!" Sirius blurted, half a laugh caught in his throat.

"Quite," Severus affirmed dryly. "I am lucky I did not fall and stick the entirety of my arm down its great gullet. I managed to catch myself on the table and it had enough neck to reach out for a nip.

"Master Acton had been frightfully angry," Severus reminisced with a smirk. "He usually had a level head that I endeavored to upset, but he never once spoke a harsh word to me in his keeping. The plant on the other hand…"

"Did he kill it?"

Severus shook his head, "He did prune it a bit more than necessary and moved it to the back of the greenhouse."

Remus smiled, pleased he had picked a scar that at least held a bit of fondness. Sirius stood a bit too quickly for his turn and wrecked the whole easy atmosphere. Lupin hadn't the heart to mind overmuch when Sirius laid his hand flat against Snape's side and stood behind, looking over the far heavier littering of scars on Snape's back.

Severus stood stiff, irritated at being manhandled. At least Remus had the decency to leave a bit of personal space. Black's hand burned where is rested above his hip, the other tracing idly across the planes of his back over criss-crosses of scars.

"Can you feel this alright," Sirius asked, breath warm and smelling of curry and caramel as it ruffled the hair at Severus' neck.

"What?"

Fingers slid with slow insistence across Severus back, a short mark that was only as long as his thumb set between shoulder blade and spine. "This one, here."

Remus stood to see, cupping an affectionate hand around the back of Sirius' neck and seeing which scar it was.

"Sit down," Severus snapped, a bit more roughly than he'd intended. He grimaced as he stretched his right arm over his shoulder, feeling the edge of the scar with the tips of his fingers.

"Macnair," he breathed. Severus took up his shirt, drawing it back across his shoulders. He leaned a hip against the low table, the long fingers of his right hand drumming on the surface.

"Even now, new recruits are considered fodder for the higher ranks. I may be inner-circle worthy now," Severus sneered, "but then… then I was a bitch for anyone with two weeks greater experiences or a faster wand."

"_Bitch_, bitch?" Sirius' eyes widened even as his shoulders tensed high and angry.

A grin, sinister enough to strike Baal dead, ripped jaggedly across Severus' face. "No. Not that some didn't try to assert themselves with _that _particular form of dominance. Unfortunately for them, I have never taken to being bullied…" He cast a stern glance at Sirius and paused to regather his thoughts.

"Macnair has always been a wiry man, quick to anger if you knew which buttons to push. He has always had a very fine wire that divides his muted anger and full out rage. Bits of his brain must have addled when he was a child, I'm sure you know how much he enjoys killing… working as he does.

"As a new recruit, I bowed only to those I deemed more powerful than myself."

Remus smiled down at his lap, "I assume Macnair was not one of those people."

Severus snorted, "There are only a handful of people I have ever bowed to in my life, no more than three with the Death Eaters… and that includes the Dark Lord himself.

"Macnair took to the power of others groveling at his feet much like a fish takes to water. He grew cocky and self-assured. Most of the new flock that had joined nearly when I had were already running his errands, and all but licking the ground he walked upon.

"It had been a rather odd week of running unappetizing errands. Clean-up detail after minor spills of genocide in rural villages; running errands so minute you knew it was a waste of time and only tit work; even one memorable instance of walking a pet Mastiff." Severus rolled his eyes, looking thoroughly disgusted and more than partly irritated with the flashback. "Macnair was displeased at my lack of proper veneration. He would have challenged me to a duel, but he always found actual fists far more pleasing…"

"You didn't get that scar from a punch to the back."

"Very astute," Severus drawled. "He demanded I bow to his mastery, and I informed him that to be a master of anything one needed to have a brain that functioned first."

"Ha!" Sirius laughed. Remus huffed and cast him in incredulous look. "What?! 'S nice to see someone else getting the sharp side of his tongue…" Sirius grimaced and flopped sideways in his chair, running his finger through the dregs of ice cream in his bowl.

Studiously ignoring the Gryffindors as they grunted at each other, Severus buttoned and unbuttoned his sleeve cuffs and continued. "The first strike wasn't exactly unexpected; it was the first of numerous broken noses I have received in my adult life. Pain and the taste of blood on my tongue apparently makes my wand-hand overactive." A dark look ghosted Severus' face. "I tried two of the nastiest curses I'd created and never had the opportunity to try on a living being. We drew an impressive crowd. He nearly broke my ankle, made me spit three teeth and cracked at least two ribs. I dropped him with a knee to the groin."

"That's cheating!" Sirius grimaced, cupping his own jewels in sympathy.

"I don't play by rules with others who won't," Severus growled. "I ruled the fight as over and turned to leave. He recovered much faster than I had expected… with a transfigured blade."

Sirius licked the trail of ice cream from his fingertip. "He stabbed you in the back, then."

Severus watched the lean digit disappear between Sirius' lips, emerging again damp. "Obviously. An inch lower and he would have punctured my lung. I had initially been too surprised to strike back, but it hadn't lasted quite long enough for Macnair to duck.

"His cheekbone shattered—along with my hand—and he hit the floor in a puddle of his own blood."

"How did you—" Remus motioned over his shoulder, grabbing toward an invisible protrusion from his back.

"Lucius," Severus supplied.

Sirius continued dragging his fingertips through the melted puddles of vanilla, sucking each one clean. "At least the man's good for something…"

"The man has plenty of sway with the Wizengamot," Severus muttered, growing steadily unsettled at Sirius' display. "Granted, most of it was bought."

Another digit disappeared between Sirius' lips.

Severus slapped his hand away and stalked to the fireplace, staring at the cold hearth in embarrassment of his reactions. Behind him, Sirius grinned—all teeth—and winked at Remus as he curled his tongue around his finger.

"I think we've had enough stories for one evening," Severus ground out through clenched teeth.

"Sure," Remus readily agreed, slapping at Sirius with the back of his hand in mild chastisement. "I guess I'll… pop off and finish that book then."

Snape grunted, willing the heat out of his face.

Remus shook his head at Sirius as the man winked and transformed to Padfoot. The shaggy dog helped himself to the remains of the ice cream from both bowls and clambered out of the room and down the stairs in a scatter of toenails on wood.

A calm hand settled on Snape's elbow, turning him half a step. Remus smiled languidly up at him, helping straighten his shirt and pulling a bit of limp hair from his collar. "Thank you for that," he spoke to Severus' chest, smoothing a wrinkle and tweaking a button.

Severus stilled Lupin's hand by pressing it flat to his stomach. Remus looked up, a bit caught, and sighed happily into a soft kiss. Snape's free hand touched the light stubble on Remus' cheek, thumb rolling in small circles along his jaw. The kiss eked to a languid halt.

"Not that I'm not appreciative, but, what was that for?" Remus muttered, lips grazing across Snape's.

Snape sighed heavily and traced a long line of thin scar across Lupin's face. Remus shivered and drew back.

"I'll be downstairs," he croaked and spun away.

Severus watched him disappear from the landing and frowned to himself. He'd surprised himself, kissing Lupin—better than jumping Black like half of him had wanted—but the cool reaction to touching Remus' scars was worrisome.

He'd have to put his mortification on hold and seek out Black and see if they couldn't hash this new information out while Remus engrossed himself in his novella. The lycan's reluctance to such an innocent touch was another wrinkle in the plan, but one that could be ironed out with the rest.

First and foremost, however, he needed to regain control of his baser emotions before he sought out the mutt.

A quarter hour of silence was spent readjusting his buttons, rubbing at the hollows of his eyes and trying madly to gather his thoughts in a semblance of rationalization. Sirius in mutt form was rooting madly around in a spare room when Severus found him.

Padfoot was pawing a pile of moth-eaten cloth together, snuffling with vigor and turned happily about it before cocking his leg.

"Black!" Severus barked, appalled as the dog began to relieve himself on the discarded garments.

The dog jerked, tail tucking tight and spinning with a snarl. He recognized Severus and took a moment to drive his nose with unjust familiarity into Snape's crotch before jumping back with a bark that sounded too close to Sirius' actual surprised laughter for Snape's enjoyment.

Drawing his robes tight, Severus scowled at the irritating dog and stuck his head out into the hall. Remus was still in the den—or at least not on the same floor. With a glance he shut the door.

Sirius was sitting perched in a chair, foot on knee and shirt buttons undone looking infinitesimally pleased with himself. "Looking over your shoulder, confined spaces, palpable tension… why Snape if I didn't know better I'd think you were here for something clandestine." The animagus waggled his eyebrows and grinned when Severus hovered over him with a scowl.

"I am not here to violate your chastity, Black," Severus growled.

Sirius sighed heavily and licked the ball of his thumb as he mumbled, "Pity."

A part of Severus' gut clenched and he growled, slapping Sirius' hand away from his mouth. "Stop that, I'm here to discuss Remus, not to play with you."

"Why not? And what about Remus?" Sirius stretched, making a show of smoothing out the parallel planes of his shirt.

"Have you noticed his fixation on his own scars?" Snape thrust his hand toward Sirius' face and smirked slowly when Sirius flinched in the chair. "He has several, just here…" He laid his fingertips on Sirius' cheek, dragging them in haphazard patterns around Sirius' face in remembered marks from Lupin's skin.

Sirius' breath caught and he fought to remain still. The old animosity that had sat between them reared its head and screamed to bite the man, it was quashed quite spectacularly as Snape drew his fingers down the curve of his jaw and across the length of his neck. "…to here. And those are just on his face."

"What about them?" the animagus croaked, nearly turning his cheek to Snape's open palm.

Severus smiled slowly and bent low across Sirius, hair trailing the open collar of Black's shirt and breathed hotly into his ear. "For a start, he doesn't enjoy the area being touched nearly as much as you seem to…"

"Maybe you just don't know what you're doing." Sirius bit back.

"No?" Severus purred into his ear. The hand that tripped around Black's collarbone snapped to the man's throat tight enough to pinch off a little wind. Sirius grabbed hold of Snape's wrist and elbow squeezing and thrashing to dislodge the darker wizard. Snape hissed a laugh and cold fingers grazed along Sirius' stomach, around his hip and a probing thumb pushed just past the band of his jeans. "Now, how do you suppose we should help Lupin past this?"

"H-he's always been that way," Sirius wheezed past the hold on his throat, licking his dry lips and telling himself _not_ to nibble at Snape's exquisitely accessible neck.

"Conditioning then…" Severus murmured, idly stroking his thumb so that it slipped out and in past the barrier of cloth. "The only way to help him is to _recondition_ him."

Severus drew back far enough to smile directly as Sirius' upturned face. Part of Sirius' insides froze and then melted in a rip of heat as Snape shoved the whole of his hand down the front of his pants.

"And you are going to help me," Severus breathed into his face, twisting his wrist and grabbing hold of the trapped wizard's thickening cock.

"Whatever you want," Sirius wheezed, grinning. He tangled his hands in Snape's hair and yanked but the potions master only grunted and didn't draw closer. A soft, hardened laugh rolled out of Severus' mouth and he drew back with such force Sirius nearly fell out of the chair.

"I'll hold you to that, Black." He smirked and jerked the door open, returning upstairs to turn out his robe pockets and get some work done.

If he had been any other man, he would have whistled as he mounted the stairs. But Severus was never very ordinary, but the flash of his gaze and new slant to his sneer told of a very happy potions master indeed. Of course, it helped considerably that he had left Sirius Black a writhing wanton lump a floor below.


	30. Wolf Hunt

a/n: WHOLLY CRAP AN UPDATE! ::Woo-hoo!:: Warnings to the Slash-squeamish--there is man-loving in this chapter! Sorry for taking so long on the update, though I do believe I've found my groove again! Please, enjoy.

---

A fruitful night of homework correction, avoiding Sirius Black and covertly scribbling away in his journal found Severus irritable with a slight headache by mid-evening. Thankfully, the mutt had left him alone and it was with no slight annoyance that he found himself disappointed.

With a stretch which realigned several vertebrae, Snape neatly tucked away his work, recapped his ink and started down the stairs.

Happy, tittering voices floated up the stairs, punctuated by the bray of Sirius' barking laughter. Severus wasn't sure if his continuously surly mood could stand the affable mood of the kitchen and whomever lay within.

Nymphadora and Black were perched around the table, mugs in hand and a tray of half-eaten chocolate biscuits in front of them. Remus was at the sideboard pouring himself more tea, shoulders shaking in silent accord to the mirth in the room.

He sidled in, watching the laughter ease from Nyphadora's face as he silently crossed the room. Stopping behind Remus, Severus put a hand to the small of the lycan's back and leaned beyond him to reach into the open cupboard for a mug.

Remus startled slightly, stilling underneath his touch before swaying backward on his heels just a fraction, their robes swishing together.

"What seems to be so humorous?" Severus muttered into Remus' ear, coaxing Remus to fill his glass with a slide of hand, still intimately close.

"Tonks was telling us about work," Sirius supplied, watching the two with a mildly critical eye.

"She tripped Minister Fudge into a lift," Remus helpfully added. He turned about in the small space between the side-board and the potion master to grin happily at Severus.

A bit of Snape's stomach flopped at the sight, though he forcefully told himself it was indigestion. He elegantly stepped from Remus' way and took up his own mug before raising an eyebrow at the pink-haired auror.

The woman cheekily smiled and shrugged her shoulders as if blaming her klutzy personality. The sparkle in her eyes gave her away.

"Of course, Kingley had to thoroughly dress me down while the lift doors shut." Tonks sparkled, hair tips growing vibrant yellow in her mirth. "Once it started moving, he practically fell over laughing!"

"Shaklebolt? I'm impressed," Severus intoned, sitting slowly at the end of the table as though waiting for the others to stand and leave. The others stayed seated, even sliding the tray of biscuits closer to his end of the table. A moment of complicated emotion warred in his chest and he squashed it for later inspection. "To what did Fudge earn such an honor?"

The metamorphagus stilled, mirth evaporating in an instant. "He was speaking to a subordinate about werewolf execution laws."

Remus stared into his mug, swirling the contents delicately. Apparently he had already been informed of such before Severus came to the kitchen.

"I was not aware there were any in existence beyond the usual self-defense theorem." Severus muttered, appearing aloof while his mind revolted and turned over pages upon pages of texts to help fight such a vile project.

"They don't," Tonks sighed. "I don't think he's really going to push them, at least not right away." She caught Severus' eye and her pixie face flattened with the serious tone of her voice. "He was seen speaking to Lucius Malfoy this afternoon."

The information filed away easily in Severus' brain. He did not doubt that Lucius would bend the Minister's opinions with gold lined gloves and galleon slicked smiles. However, depending upon whom he was bending it for would be a high-stakes matter. Severus had just carefully worded the question in his head when he caught Nymphadora glancing carefully at Remus.

Upon first glance the lycan did not appear unduly upset. As he set his mug to the tabletop Severus saw the tremor of his hands. Sirius, attuned so well to his best of friends, wrapped an arm possessively about Remus' shoulders and stroked the insides of the man's wrists with his fingertips.

"Kingsley's already spoken to the Headmaster. I'm sure it will be a topic of discussion tomorrow night at the meeting." Tonks mumbled into the pervasive quiet.

"I'll be sure to speak to Albus then," Severus replied, eyes only for Remus and Sirius. The animagus was muttering in low tones in Remus' ear. Remus would nod minutely with the syllabant hissing and Sirius' grip would tighten every few moments.

"Excuse me," Nymphadora stood and left with sideways glances.

Severus heard the bathroom door shut before he stood and edged the table.

Remus looked up at him with dull eyes as he approached.

He bent at the waist to stare levelly at the lycan and took hold of the man's shirt collar in one tight fist. "If you think I'm about to let Lucius Malfoy dictate yet another integral part of my life, you would be sorely mistaken."

Sirius looked more shocked than Remus where he hovered in Severus' peripheral vision. Remus smiled softly, the ends of his lips curling just so. "Integral part, huh?"

Severus felt the bite of a blush hit his cheeks and he grunted. "I had willingly chosen to bear the Morsmordre, and it was with Lucius' persuasive influence that I found the path to do so. I have not… regretted the choices in my life; they have taught me hard lessons that I am not soon able to forget. The consequences they've borne are my own, and I accept them as such. _You_… this," he waved between them with his free hand, "is the least of my sins and I will not allow others to make me regret it."

The air was heavy, Remus' licked his lips twice, the trembling of his hands no longer caused by Nymphadora's news.

"What about me?" Sirius interrupted their staring. Severus raised an eyebrow at him. "Well?"

Severus released Remus' collar, smoothing the wrinkles he had put there with gentle fingers. He caught Remus' eyes briefly and looked back at Sirius, his gaze guarded. "I wouldn't dare to presume to part an owner from his beloved mutt."

A brief chuff of laughter spilled from Black's lips. He smiled at Remus, but it didn't quite meet his eyes.

"Of course, I would have much to say if someone made the attempt." Severus smirked as he locked eyes with Sirius. He twined a lock of Sirius' hair in his fingers, twisting it through his fingertips. "I haven't spent this long picking the fleas from your hide to let someone else enjoy it."

"So you're stuck with us then," Sirius smiled, face splitting wide, tongue half lolled out from between his teeth. Severus saw a remarkable likeness of the man's canine half.

"Unfortunately." Severus stood as the bathroom door clicked open.

He would have stepped back to his seat if two hands hadn't gripped his robes and prevented him from moving. He looked back across his shoulder to find Remus with a fistful of sleeve, and Black with a fistful of hem.

"You realize we couldn't possibly irritate polite society half so well without you?" Sirius winked, giving a brief tug on the robes.

Severus snorted.

"I'm not sure I'd even be alive at this point if it weren't for you," Remus murmured, fingers sliding up Snape's robe sleeve and stroking along the pulse point at his wrist.

_To hell with Nymphadora,_ Severus thought viciously.

The chair rocked onto its back legs with the force Severus thrust his kiss upon Remus. The wolf squeaked in surprise, catching hold of Severus' robes to keep himself upright. Snape pulled back enough to look him in the eye and run his fingers across the scars on his cheek. Remus flinched, but didn't turn his face away. Pleased, Severus brushed a kiss across the scarred cheek and turned his intent gaze on Sirius.

The animagus didn't even pretend to be surprised or act even remotely shy. He wrapped both hands in Snape's hair and jerked him forward, bruising their lips on the impact.

"I—uh," Tonks stood in the doorway, smiling at them and blushing a little. Her hair changed several colors in rapt succession in her embarrassment. "You're good for each other." She told them softly. "A balance, I think."

Severus felt heat rush up his neck and tamped on it. "Stay for a while, Nymphadora, the Gryffindors are going spare stuck in a house with a Slytherin."

The metamorphagus grinned and took her seat.

Remus was frowning when Severus looked back at them. He spared the wolf a slight smirk and felt better when the wolf seemed to catch onto the joke and smiled back.

He refilled his mug with tea and mounted the stairs, pleased to hear the laughter return to the kitchen.

_New problems, always something new to throw wrenches into the works._ Severus frowned harshly as he returned to the room on the third floor. He took out fresh parchment and an inkwell and took sketchy notes on what he believed to be Lucius' and Voldemort's desires for werewolves.

The list grew in varying degrees. Lucius was winning.

Severus set down his quill and rubbed his thumbs against his eye sockets. The time had sailed past with his thoughts. It was nearing midnight and the candles in the room had burnt to nubs.

He had half a mind to go downstairs and see what the others were doing at such an hour of the night. When he stood, however, his back and shoulders told him it was a better time for a mattress.

The wardrobe opened with a slight squeak of hinges. The third drawer down on the right held pajamas—black satin things that felt fantastic against his skin after a night of crucio infested punishment.

Robes and trousers folded across the back of a chair and shoes kicked into the bottom of the wardrobe, Severus drew on his night clothes and curled into the crisp sheets.

By the time Remus and Sirius returned to the room to join him, he was already asleep.

…oOo…

Through a fog of slumber, Remus wrinkled his nose to light, fluttery touches to his cheek. It was nearly like being battered by moth wings, soft and breezy, barely-there strokes on his skin.

At first, he believed it may have been, but the heavy weight on either side told him that in all probability, it was one of his bunk-mates.

He was too sleep-laden to remember who lay on which side, but his intuition told him it was not Sirius. Sirius had always been heavy handed for as long as Remus had known him. He jabbed his meat and potatoes, gripped his wand with white knuckles, and fondled what he claimed with hot hands and firm fingers.

That left only one option…

A soft sigh spilled like a half-yawn between his lips. The ghosting fingers stilled and Remus smiled a little when he felt Severus' breath catch. Remus fumbled his hand beneath the covers, searching out Snape's chilled one and squeezing gently. "S'okay," he mumbled, turning carefully into the stiff form of the potions master.

The fingertips came again, a bit more conspicuous but still reverently gentle. Remus realized that Snape was stroking the faint scars that etched his face. Fighting a grimace, Remus started to turn his face away with as much nonchalance as he could muster at two o'clock in the morning.

"Don't," Severus muttered, palm curving to cover the scandalized cheek.

"I don't know what you mean—"

Severus grunted and squeezed hard enough to keep Remus from talking. The hold loosened once Snape knew Remus wouldn't turn away and he changed direction, stroking through the hair at the lycan's temples. Remus nearly purred and melted back into his pillows.

The pillows shifted and Remus felt a long, boney arm wrap his waist. Severus cinched him up tight until he felt his back pressed against the potions master's chest. His heart stuttered, slamming into chest. Any wave of sleepiness shattered into pinpoint awareness of where bits of thinly wrapped flesh pressed against him.

"Relax," Severus murmured into his ear. One large hand stroked lazily from chest to hip, never prodding into dangerous territory. It didn't matter. Such bold, ardent touching brought blood to the surface of his skin. Each subsequent stroke sizzled until Severus' fingers were glowing iron.

An inadvertent gasp ripped from Remus' lips. Severus' fingers curled hard in response, startled at the reaction. Remus had to grip Snape's hand, pulling it inches away from his skin so he could breathe properly.

"Sorry," Remus whispered, mortified. "It's just… been a while."

"Been a while for what?" croaked a yawning animagus.

Sirius turned sluggishly over, rolling onto his side to blink wearily through the dark.

"It doesn't pertain to you, Black," Severus grumbled, fingers flexing where they rested over Remus' heart.

The bed practically vibrated as Sirius' tensed up. "Should I leave you two alone?" He growled, propping himself half off of the mattress to glare down at Severus.

Remus gaped, feeling guilty.

"No," Severus purred. He felt Remus jerk in surprise. The anger bled from Sirius' face as Severus held a hand up, long fingers beckoning the animagus down. A lecherous grin curled Sirius' face and he fell atop the two of them, large hands propping him a breadth away from crushing the others and curled his tongue around Remus' ear. Remus shivered, mind bent beyond breaking and curled a hand around each man's thigh.

Severus grunted, Sirius panted in appreciation and dropped his weight across Remus' hips, dropping wet, openmouthed kisses to Snape's pursed lips.

Three, four… six wet kisses before Sirius rolled and lay face to face with the lycan. His fingers already encroaching past Remus' shirt-hem. His fingertips were like ice as they skimmed Remus' stomach.

Sirius sucked at the hollow of Remus' throat, ignoring the presence of the potions' master. Remus made delicious, breathy gasps as Sirius' explored—strong hands stroking across ribs, up the plane of his back, down the back of Remus' pajama bottoms.

Remus arched into the touch, a growl touching his lips that iced the heat out of his system. He sat up, hand over his mouth in shock. "I'm sorry, Pads, I didn't mean—"

"Remus," Severus snapped, sitting up against the headboard. He had lost his shirt some time while the Gryffindors were busy and the vague flush of arousal on his pale skin made Remus' cock twitch.

"Severus, I didn't mean—"

"You're not the only one who growls, Moony," Sirius breathed into his ear, fingers grasping at Remus' and rolling his hips.

Long, cool fingers curled across Remus' cheeks. Severus' face bobbed over his, eyes hooded and lips bitten. "If you don't want this, you may say so. Do not, however, assume we're ignorant to what lurks within you."

Nodding, Remus couldn't formulate a reply as Severus sucked his tongue into his mouth and Sirius breached the covering of his underpants.

Sirius moaned, face pressed to Remus' side. The thick of Moony's cock was searing into his palm, twitching in his hold. He could hear the pound of Remus' heart, a light sheen of sweat was gathering at the hollow of the wolf's stomach.

Through the thick of Snape's hair, he could see Remus' face pinched as if in pain. One hand was clutched in Severus' hair, the other was fluttering about on the bedspread. Sirius gripped tighter, teething on Remus' shirt and nipping against bits of flesh.

With each successive bite, Remus whimpered, gasped, then growled. Severus sat up to stare down and watch while Sirius nipped again. The body beneath them arched.

"Christ, Pads," Remus growled as he propped on his elbows.

"Did that hurt?" Sirius purred, fingers flexing, thumb pressing against the head of Remus' erection.

Remus' fingers dug deep into the mattress as he bared his teeth. "Do that again," he grinned.

Sirius obliged as Severus watched on. The potions master felt his bowels tighten as he watched them. Remus with his shirt rucked up to his armpits and disheveled; Sirius with his eyes gone violet and fist buried in Remus' pajama bottoms.

He was a bit out of his depth—in bed with not one, but _two_ Gryffindors…Gryffindor men at that. Severus shifted back on the bed, back to the headboard and just let them be.

It was heaven. Sirius' hot breath across his chest, seeping through the cotton of his night-shirt; every intake of breath left a chill that made his flesh ripple in gooseflesh and pushed more blood to his already engorged flesh. "Stop teasing, Pads…"

A hard, gasping laugh ripped across parts of Remus' exposed stomach. "Don't make me rush, Moony," he whispered, fingers flexing as he began a steady stroke.

Remus screwed his eyes shut, biting his lip and realized he was a set of hands and hot breath short. It took considerable effort to turn his head to find the wraith in the shadows, hands clenching and unclenching a pillow he held pinned to his chest.

"Severus," the wolf huffed out, embedding one hand in Sirius' hair and dragging the other up the bed to curl around Snape's calf. Snape's hands stilled against the feather-down as he stared first from Remus' hand to his glowing amber gaze. Remus swallowed past a lump in his throat and ran his thumb in narrow circles around the tensed muscle of Snape's calf. "T-touch me, please."

Snape slid down the bed like a whisper of shadows, stretching out his lean form. He wedged himself beneath Remus' unoccupied side, burrowing his arm beneath Lupin's shoulders and easing his angular form beneath the warmth of Remus' flesh.

Remus felt his insides flip violently as Severus shifted beneath him, most of the potions master's body now blanketed with his own. A telling press of satin clothed steel pressed against his lower back. The glands beneath Remus' tongue puckered and flooded his mouth with saliva at the realization.

Sirius felt the shifting of bodies, bucked off kilter himself a moment as a foreign leg pressed next to Remus' between his own. He pinched another bit of flesh between his teeth to keep from groaning as his own aching cock found a pleasant groove between the pressed legs. He rutted pleasantly, his enthusiasm increasing his grip and pace of his fist.

A true, unrepentant growl curled and erupted from Remus' chest. He bent backward into Severus, bowed and pressing his shoulders and ass with unconscious intent. Severus hissed beneath him, the arm wormed from behind the wolf's back, curling around Remus' chest and holding him in place.

Remus' eyes snapped open, his hand in Sirius' hair clenching hard enough to tear whole chunks free.

"_Ow_! Fuck, Remus—easy on the hair, mate!"

The stroking slowed considerably as Sirius winced, feeling blood escape his groin and return as fire in his scalp.

Severus realized Remus was not breathing and began to extract himself. The lycan took a deep shuddering breath and clamped down on Snape's wrist, holding the man's arm tight in place.

"Sorry, Pads," he croaked, fingers shakily soothing the hurt he had caused before the hand slid to the blankets and fisted tightly there where it would do no more harm.

Sirius pressed a warm, wet kiss to Remus' jaw as he took up pace and resettled with his crotch perched happily against the groove of Lupin's and Snape's shins.

"Lupin," Severus intoned, fingers of his trapped hand drumming on Remus' ribs.

"Just," Remus breathed deeply, "hold tight."

And Severus did.

A deep-seated coil of dark, pulsing energy reared its head and practically pushed at Remus' skin. The wolf within chuffed, testing, struggling against the tight grasp that Severus had pinned him with.

"Tighter," Remus whispered with eyes staring vacantly at the canopy. The fire of his belly pushed to his groin and he felt Severus clamp upon him with more fervor, locking his free arm about the other so Remus was caught and caged in his arms.

Sirius was panting into his stomach, grinding wantonly against their shins and spit into his hand before redoubling his effort.

Remus bucked, the beast shifting forward. Severus felt the shifting of muscle against his chest that had little to do with the pleasure of oncoming orgasm and more to do with the straining advance of a darker lycan matter. He loosed an arm and curled his fingers around Lupin's throat; heel of his hand pressing against the wolf's pulse with fingers clamped enough to threaten mortal pressure.

The wolf inside of him stilled at the display of dominant aggression. Remus felt a whimper curl from his lips and Severus stroked his stubbled jawline with his thumb. The dark matter paused, receded and sat back as a voyeur as Sirius bit the tenderized flesh of his side again.

His mind cleared like a sharp blow to the head. Between the three of them they had managed to still the darkness in him as he could never have believed on his own—and three teenaged Gryffindor's never could. The elation of that knowledge coupled with the iron grip and calloused palm of Sirius Black pushed him over the edge.

He gasped and shuddered, fingers biting into the mattress until they burst through the fabric shell and he was left with spring tips biting into his fingers. "_Jesus_." He hissed, feeling his cock jerk violently in Sirius' grip. Severus' clutch of bone and sinew seared into his flesh. The potions master's thumb continued its soothing caress against his jaw, the ghost of lips grazing his ear.

"No offense Moony," Sirius panted, glancing up through his increasingly sweaty hair, "but… shove off."

Through the haze of bliss, Remus felt a spike of doubt cut through him. "What?"

Sirius extracted his hand from Remus' shorts and sucked a sticky finger into his mouth in a perverted pantomime of his early treatment of ice-cream. He rolled his hips happily against their shins once more before climbing up Remus and sucking the wolf's tongue greedily.

The doubt vanished to a hum of lazy arousal. Sirius pulled his head back, grinning soppily at the lycan. "Push over, Moony," he whispered, turning his head slightly and staring past Remus' shoulder to Severus.

Dawning lighted Remus' eyes and he winked at Sirius, squeezing the hand that still wrapped his throat and felt Severus let him loose.

He moved to the side, propping himself on a pillow to watch.

"We have unfinished business," Sirius muttered, fingers raking the naked expanse of Severus' chest and sides.

"Black," Snape huffed as a wave of unease made gooseflesh rise on his skin. This was the first true admission to his interest in Sirius with Remus as signed witness.

In a rare moment of sincerity, Sirius smiled lightly and caressed Snape's stubbled cheek with the back of his hand. "Just tell me when to stop," he whispered slowly grinding his hips against Snape's. Teeth grazed Severus' collarbone, the scruff of Sirius' jaw burned along his neck before his chapped lips touched Snape's ear. "And bite me."

For an anguished minute of pure rage, Severus thought he had been hideously tricked. But the continued grind of hips, the slide of Sirius' cock pressed tight beside his, the fingers stroking through his hair over-rode his first impression of the statement.

"Come on, Severus," Sirius bit out, breath hitching as the head of his erection found a prominent ridge on Snape's hip. "Bite me!"

Snape licked his lips twice, unsure, and latched his teeth into the round shoulder that rocked nearest his face.

Sirius hissed, hips jerking out of rhythm.

Remus groaned aloud at the look of pained ecstasy on Sirius' face. He had always found Sirius attractive, but Merlin, if the man made that face when he was flirting instead of his sideways smile, Remus knew he'd have devoured him eons ago.

"That goddamned strip-tease," Sirius growled, raking his chin around Severus' chest. "…damned aggressive flirt…"

Severus snarled and fisted his hands in Black's hair to jerk his head away from his flaming flesh. "Merlin, Black, stop grinding your beard into me."

"Then do something about it…" Sirius sneered.

Before he had time to regret the challenge, Sirius' hair was wound around Snape's forearm and he was bent backward until his hips felt like they would disjoint. His chest tightened at the angle and though his breathing grew labored and his head swam from the lowered oxygen, he felt his sac tighten and nearly came as Severus growled against his throat.

A strong hand fisted in Sirius' hair twisting his head back even further. Sirius' eyes snapped open to witness Remus hovering over him, eyes glowing in the dark. He licked his lips and snapped his jaws at the lycan, grinding his hips over and over against Snape.

His tongue was devoured, mouth plundered, breath stolen. Remus growled into his mouth, Severus jerked on his hair and drove his boney hand between their bodies and boldly fisted him through his pajama bottoms.

Sirius opened his eyes wide as he came in waves of heat and ice.

He collapsed bonelessly on Severus' chest as Remus drew away. He soggily slithered his way down Severus' body, grinding his chin across the pale skin and soothing it with his tongue on the way.

Severus bucked his hips, propped on his elbows and staring in disbelief. The animagus curled his fingers at the waist of Snape's pajama bottoms and jerked them far enough to free the wizard's erection.

Severus failed to suppress a huff of laugher as Sirius buried his nose in the thatch of curls at his groin—much as Black in mutt form had aspired to do earlier that evening. His laugh turned quickly to a groan and hiss as Sirius stretched the heat of his mouth around his sex.

It took an embarrassingly short time, four hard pulls of Black's swollen lips and a winding lycan hand barely brushing his skin.

Severus blinked away spots from his vision and eased his cramping fingers from Sirius' hair. The blissful agony of it all…

Black spat off the side of the bed, heaving his exhausted body up the mattress and collapsed at Snape's side. "Brill'." He absently pushed at a sweaty lock of hair, trying in vain to move it from his face.

Severus bit his lip, heavy contentment leadening his limbs. His fingers itched and his flesh was cold. He was practically ready to roll out of bed and run back to Hogwart's in panic, but Remus lay at his side, pressing a warm kiss to the center of his chest.

The affection startled his breath out and before he could constrain his base-emotions, he found his fingers stroking through Remus' hair. The lycan hummed in joy and settled in, drawing the blankets up over them.

Sirius rolled inelegantly into them, rocking all of them a little and yawned against Severus' shoulder.

Snape clenched his eyes shut, trying not to let the euphoria sweep him away like a rip tide. This was the reason he had not taken a regular liaison outside of random wizards and witches abroad. There, at least, his father's money had been good for something.

Against his better judgment—and before his mind even registered the goings-on—he tucked an arm around Sirius' shoulders and was stroking the animagus' back, nuzzling his nose against the man's scalp.

"I never took you for a cuddler," Sirius grinned into his shoulder, arching happily into the touches and winking at Remus.

"Shuddup, Black," Severus muttered with no venom. He continued to stroke Sirius' back and idly tracing the scars on Remus' back and shoulder.

Miraculously, Sirius did. In the sweat damp sheets in the middle of the twilight, Severus fell asleep with a blanket of Gryffindors and all was right with the world.


End file.
